Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

That’s quite the laundry list of accomplishments your various family members have achieved, Lucas. What are your accomplishments? You’re almost to the age your mom was at when she retired, so you should be on track to waddle in the family’s footsteps, right?

He's been retired since he left his last job.
Now all he needs is someone to yeet him a bae and his parents to die then his life will be complete.

The Freak continues with his empty threats and still trying to "market" himself with a trip to Arizona.

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He sounds like a serial killer.
"Let me fly you out to a different state to a large tract of land where no one will find your body!" *psycho eyes* *creepy smile*

 

[Agoraphobic Bullshit]

I'd like to see him try to hit on a zoomer bae with a farmer father with that 12 acres nonsense. She'd be able to tell him exactly how small that is. Then her dad would shoot him.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Could this be the explanation for why he claims to fall in love with an entire generation? Because he views himself as part of a generation, not an individual, but the whole?

I've always found his claim of "loving" an entire age group incredibly bizarre, and when you really think about it, it's one of the strangest things about him... which is saying quite a lot.

Perhaps individuals scare him, one-on-one interactions and such, and he feels more comfortable soapboxing to the masses of young girls. It's very strange, this "falling in love" with an entire generation. Lucas is a Freudian analyst's dream: between projecting his uncomfortable praise of his female family members' beauty onto teenagers writ large, and his near-constant fascination with pushing and pulling things into and out of his and others' anuses... he's a mess of self-destructive addictions (overeating, wallowing in the manic "high" of his anger, jealousy in ALL directions) and incorrect social impulses.

Everything about Lucas is about being part of some group. He is on the righteous side, and the others are evil. It is hard to understand, as I don't recall Lucas ever pining over one girl for some time like normal people do. It's always a certain age group like Gen Z or Millennials, which may just be his safeword for underage girls (and boys) that he wants to sodomize and then dispose of, but it seems more complex than that. It's so strange from someone who's never had friends, and it carries to all facets of life. Lucas wants to have a child that society will take care of, he won't. Maybe it's a lack of identity similar to Cluster B girls that always need to be in relationships, that they always destroy with their neuroticism.

 

[mothman96]

The Freak is not welcome on daddy's land but you "better be nice" to the Freak or you'll not get to hunt, play video games and drink on his father's land.

 

[Cow-Lovin' Fool]

Welp... looks like the birthday boy is in fine spirits today. Guess we're back to the multimillionaire kang and kween parents and Daddy's 1000000000 acre forest abundant with thousands of heads of unicorn meat. Those zoomers must be kicking themselves so hard for offending the middle aged young prince.

 

[Tard Police]

When King Roy passes he should leave his massive 12 acre kingdom to the state to become an elk reserve. Giving land back to the state would be one of the most communist things you could do, yet it would leave Lucas absolutely seething for the rest of his life and he'd surely find a way to equate it to some form of bigotry.

 

[WonderWino]

The Freak is not welcome on daddy's land but you "better be nice" to the Freak or you'll not get to hunt, play video games and drink on his father's land.


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What the fuck

So lucas is trying to attract country boys now? That statement makes absolutely no sense unless its some kind of fucked up freudian slip. Lucas is not a country boy, his claim is he wants a teen girl so you'd think he would be talking about some zoomer country girl. and yeah, you totally need 12 acres of land to play video games or drink. Lucas doesn't even play video games and neither do alot of zoomer baes so its just blatantly obvious, nonsensical attempts at baiting. and nobody mentioned atheism in the message lucas is replying to, he just blurted that out there, and it isn't even a remotely accurate statement as he himself proves

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

 

[Wernology]

The Freak is not welcome on daddy's land but you "better be nice" to the Freak or you'll not get to hunt, play video games and drink on his father's land.


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"My Daddy" says everything about Lucas we need to know, including why "Daddy" doesn't talk to him anymore.

 

[Cnaiur urs Skiotha]

The Freaks grandpa had 50 cows, His mom retired in her 40's, his dad has 12 acres and a hot tub, are you sure you want to piss the Freak off on YT. LOL

ETA:
the hot tub.

Hahaha what the fuck, "My dad has 12 acres of land so don't mess with me" is such a bizarre non-sequitur. Okay first of all two things: A) this is something his estranged family owns, not him and B) 12 acres of land is honestly not even that much, nor is a hottub some incredible bourgeois luxury. But really the issue is that Lucas thinks it makes sense to essentially say, my family owns a moderate amount of wealth so don't fuck with me you dirty trolls. Or fucking what, exactly, Lucas? "Daddy, anonymous forum users are saying mean things about me, use your land ownership to make them stop". Fucking how my dude?!

This is obviously related to the "my parents are friends with bounty hunters" insanity from this past summer. I think both of these thoughts, that his parents are wealthy and that they're connected to law enforcement, just give Lucas a sort of animal comfort. As obvious as it is to us that they're essentially estranged, since they never told Lucas to his face to fuck off and stay out of their lives, he is able to maintain this honestly very sad delusion that he can go home at any time. This must be very comforting to him in his homeless and friendless state, although of course it raises the obvious question of why he doesn't just go home to either mom or dad. Oh right, he has to go back with a pregnant teenage bride in tow, to prove he was right all along and secure a place via "muh grandkids".

Anyway since Lucas is known to have zero theory of mind I think his thought process goes like this: his parents' moderate wealth makes him feel secure; if he is secure then he is hard or even dangerous to attack, those trolls are in unspecified trouble somehow. Hence "am I really the guy you wanna fuck with?" Which of course is incredibly funny because Lucas is the easiest and safest guy in the world to fuck with. You aren't even gonna get sued like with Greer. He is a friendless, penniless hobo whose insanity is obvious to all who interact with him, he can't do shit or convince anyone of anything. Plus it is very funny and easy to fuck with him because he is so stupid, low self awareness, and schizoid crazy. Oh but 12 whole acres though, yikes

 

[Vi0l3t]

Okay, I don't care about fashion sense in the slightest (I'm not Christian either obv) but a guy who went to college to pick up girls in batman pajama pants telling anyone off about fashion sense might as well be Chris Chan doing it while in Unicorn cosplay.
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Imagine talking shit to others on their clothing when you live in your clothes for weeks

 

[Zoomer Bae]

I feel like I'm being groomed by these videos
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Watching his double chin wobble to the beat is pretty entertaining ngl

Also major lol @ the caption “if this don’t break you”

 

[PillCosby]

I'd like to see him try to hit on a zoomer bae with a farmer father with that 12 acres nonsense. She'd be able to tell him exactly how small that is. Then her dad would shoot him.

12 acres and a lolcow. Not quite the same ring as 40 acres and a mule

 

[SteveGoatman]

The Freak is not welcome on daddy's land but you "better be nice" to the Freak or you'll not get to hunt, play video games and drink on his father's land.


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Am I blanking, or have we ever heard Lucas called his dad "daddy" before? It this related to his new "country boy" persona, thinking that's how country people talk? Also "not to hone my skill at the word, atheists are..." I have no idea what this means. Hone my skill at the word? What? Finally, please feel free to provide citation to studies showing atheists are the "nicest people on earth".

 

[VoidFace]

Am I blanking, or have we ever heard Lucas called his dad "daddy" before? It this related to his new "country boy" persona, thinking that's how country people talk? Also "not to hone my skill at the word, atheists are..." I have no idea what this means. Hone my skill at the word? What? Finally, please feel free to provide citation to studies showing atheists are the "nicest people on earth".

To my knowledge he has only ever called Roy “dad,” “father” or “king Roy.”

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Re: the "Daddy"thing; it's so strange to me how Lucas is constantly affecting these different personalities, sometimes different accents, different slangs; it's like he's rarely ever just "himself", whoever that might be... No, he'd rather assert this frankly exhausting show of excessive casualness, or misuse youth slang, or speak in a growling brogue as if he's some cartoon mobster, it's very odd.

He doesn't use it as much anymore, but do you remember his affectation of the word "cat", as if he was some beatnik hep daddy? Very odd, very outdated, and I suppose I can nominally admire Lucas for wanting to be an individual, but picking up slang that's close to 100 years old probably isn't the best way to ingratiate yourself with the kids. Or what about when he was considering "going to the throne pulling out his hog and dropping urea"... Or to a normal human being, taking a piss?

What is up with these affected, cringey rhetorical flourishes? Anyone want to hazard a guess?

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Watching his double chin wobble to the beat is pretty entertaining ngl

Also major lol @ the caption “if this don’t break you”

Watching his jowls wobble gives me Kailyn Wilcher vibes.

 

[The I Scream Man]

What is up with these affected, cringey rhetorical flourishes? Anyone want to hazard a guess?

My guess is that he's just throwing stuff against the wall to see if it sticks, he's obviously being heavily influenced by whatever media he's consuming and since he's such a colossal retard he just absorbs it immediately with no filter in place

He has a lot more in common with CWC than he wants to admit and will undoubtedly deny it because in his mind he's so far removed from a trooned out literal motherfucker, but anyone with any objective capacity can see that the first step down the Highway to CWCVille is not being able to differentiate between media and reality. Lots of slow in the minds take that step and proceed no further, but he's gone significantly farther and the only reason he's not engaged further in his stupid ass telomerase larp is because he's poor as shit, if he had money you'd better believe he'd be wasting it on billboards and dating sites and shit

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

My guess is that he's just throwing stuff against the wall to see if it sticks, he's obviously being heavily influenced by whatever media he's consuming and since he's such a colossal retard he just absorbs it immediately with no filter in place

He has a lot more in common with CWC than he wants to admit and will undoubtedly deny it because in his mind he's so far removed from a trooned out literal motherfucker, but anyone with any objective capacity can see that the first step down the CWCville Highway is not being able to differentiate between media and reality. Lots of slow in the minds take that step and proceed no further, but he's gone significantly farther and the only reason he's not engaged further in his stupid ass telomerase larp is because he's poor as shit, if he had money you'd better believe he'd be wasting it on billboards and dating sites and shit

CWC liked that mommy-son incest.
Lucas wants that daddy-daughter incest.

 

[mothman96]

Am I blanking, or have we ever heard Lucas called his dad "daddy" before? It this related to his new "country boy" persona, thinking that's how country people talk? Also "not to hone my skill at the word, atheists are..." I have no idea what this means. Hone my skill at the word? What? Finally, please feel free to provide citation to studies showing atheists are the "nicest people on earth".

To my knowledge he has only ever called Roy “dad,” “father” or “king Roy.”

Re: the "Daddy"thing; it's so strange to me how Lucas is constantly affecting these different personalities, sometimes different accents, different slangs; it's like he's rarely ever just "himself", whoever that might be... No, he'd rather assert this frankly exhausting show of excessive casualness, or misuse youth slang, or speak in a growling brogue as if he's some cartoon mobster, it's very odd.

I'd say with his use of "daddy" the Freak is trying to fool people into thinking he and his "daddy" are real close so of course he can dangle his father's property as bait.