Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

My guess is that he's just throwing stuff against the wall to see if it sticks, he's obviously being heavily influenced by whatever media he's consuming and since he's such a colossal retard he just absorbs it immediately with no filter in place

He has a lot more in common with CWC than he wants to admit and will undoubtedly deny it because in his mind he's so far removed from a trooned out literal motherfucker, but anyone with any objective capacity can see that the first step down the Highway to CWCVille is not being able to differentiate between media and reality. Lots of slow in the minds take that step and proceed no further, but he's gone significantly farther and the only reason he's not engaged further in his stupid ass telomerase larp is because he's poor as shit, if he had money you'd better believe he'd be wasting it on billboards and dating sites and shit
He's more likely gonna gorge himself to death tho. I got a feeling his self destructive behavior is pretty much him subconsciously wanting to end it all though his delusions does play a factor.
 
The Freak got the Squonk game he "designed":
A guy with a flatbill looks confused.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CWmVdpapmql/
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https://www.instagram.com/p/CWmXkdIJO18/
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Re: the "Daddy"thing; it's so strange to me how Lucas is constantly affecting these different personalities, sometimes different accents, different slangs; it's like he's rarely ever just "himself", whoever that might be... No, he'd rather assert this frankly exhausting show of excessive casualness, or misuse youth slang, or speak in a growling brogue as if he's some cartoon mobster, it's very odd.

He doesn't use it as much anymore, but do you remember his affectation of the word "cat", as if he was some beatnik hep daddy? Very odd, very outdated, and I suppose I can nominally admire Lucas for wanting to be an individual, but picking up slang that's close to 100 years old probably isn't the best way to ingratiate yourself with the kids. Or what about when he was considering "going to the throne pulling out his hog and dropping urea"... Or to a normal human being, taking a piss?

What is up with these affected, cringey rhetorical flourishes? Anyone want to hazard a guess?


Residual behavior from perceived alienation and actual isolation.

Humans are social animals and we’re not built to go it alone. What makes mental illness so pernicious is that people who suffer from it will withdraw from the social sphere, which then magnifies their symptoms tenfold. The longer this goes on, the damage begins to seep into all areas of cognitive life that absolutely destroys a person’s ability to care for themselves, much less relate to other people in a meaningful and healthy fashion.

You know how Lucas will take to social media and demand attention from teenage girls, but will absolutely reject any solid offers from men to simply hangout and shoot the shit? Textbook avoidance behavior. Any adult male who cannot or will not maintain friendships will be totally incapable of sustaining a romantic relationship; Lucas isn’t aware of this truism and if it was brought to his attention, I’m sure he’d brush it off.

But the fact of the matter is that social media only serves as a way for him to scream into the void. He designs and buys board games, but never has anyone to play with. All his photos and videos are largely selfies, very rarely does he include other people. He has systematically been driven from numerous homes (family, friends), subsidized housing, and homeless shelters. He can’t relate to other people and so he can’t get along with them no matter how important it may be to do so.

So Lucas consumes media and then pantomimes what he sees, which creates the sort of morbid displays on Instagram we’ve come to love. All of it is soulless though, because Lucas isn’t actually trying to communicate with other people. For Lucas, he keeps thinking that if he performs something correctly, it guarantees a desired behavior from the other person, but reality is more complicated than that. The tools he needs to navigate the social sphere have been atrophying for years now and will take significant effort on his part to build them back up, yet he is so far gone that he only understands himself as a “suave” and “debonair” gentlemen who has been aging like a fine wine on the streets of Spokane.
 
He’s even got the Squonk Card. I can’t wait to see how this works in a play through.View attachment 2743532
- Calls the game squonk
- Adds card with squonk on it
- Instead of calling the squonk card squonk makes it a wild card

Wern logic at its finest

Also that iron looks like a dehydrated turd...which considering lucas is constantly dehydrated is eerily appropriate
 
Explaining how to play "Squonk".

Completely incomprehensible. Not to mention those cards look like something out of a deck of cards intended for little kids

Also, those player pieces look like jolly ranchers, i'm mildly surprised he hasn't tried to eat any of them. I'm also wondering if he'd eat them if you put them in a bag of jolly ranchers
 
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The rules for Squonk

https://squonkrules.weebly.com/
Squonk

Part 1. The Guesstimation of Savvy Resources

Draw 12 cards per person. This is your hand. From your hand build a thing of 6 to 12 cards. Tell your story to everyone else. If as a team they guess the resources used, then you cannot move your Meeple man or your cube squonks.


Your Meeple may not harvest the map, so he can only move 2 hexagons out at a time from present location or 1, if you so choose.

Part 2. Motion Upon Land and Ocean

Set your cubes and your man up along any perimeter. Don't worry. You can use all 10 cubes and your Meeple along any perimeter. Roll the dice. If you roll 1, you may move 1 cube and your Meeple and so on. You may move to any resource space on the map. There are only 6 things to harvest on the map and many hexagonal spaces have more than 1 resource, so in that case, you can choose. If you roll a 12, you can roll 1 opponent Meeple on to the map. If he ends up on his feet he can stay there. If not, he has to be placed back where he was. On a 12, you will also move 10 of your squonks and your Meeple. You can harvest 6 different things off the map.

The resources are:

Yellow - Glass
Green - Wood
Orange - Brick
Brown - Ore
Blue - Oil
White - Coal

Part 3. The Riddle of The Great Accumulation

In this part, once 6 resources marked with pen and paper are accrued that you wish to use, your opponents have to have an emotional response to your story of how this 6 resource object or scenario came to be or you will not have that many of attacks.


Part 4. Your Squonk Is The Soldier of Fortune

You can attack with your Meeple any other Meeple by running up and sidling next to another Meeple. You can only attack for as many devices total you have built and won to use from the board play. The cards in your hand must always number 12 upon play. Play continues until your Meeple is last by attacking all the other Meeples 6 times each marked by your 4 colored dice to indicate your life beginning at 6 pips and going down. These dice are not rolled. The only dice rolled are the black dice. You must have the most objects built from board and cards to win when all the Meeples are dead but you. The only time your Meeple can move more than 2 hexagons out is after being attacked, he can move to any space on the board. Have 4 pens and 4 sheets of paper so you can tabulate your board resources.
 
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The rules for Squonk

https://squonkrules.weebly.com/
Squonk

Part 1. The Guesstimation of Savvy Resources

Draw 12 cards per person. This is your hand. From your hand build a thing of 6 to 12 cards. Tell your story to everyone else. If as a team they guess the resources used, then you cannot move your Meeple man or your cube squonks.


Your Meeple may not harvest the map, so he can only move 2 hexagons out at a time from present location or 1, if you so choose.

Part 2. Motion Upon Land and Ocean

Set your cubes and your man up along any perimeter. Don't worry. You can use all 10 cubes and your Meeple along any perimeter. Roll the dice. If you roll 1, you may move 1 cube and your Meeple and so on. You may move to any resource space on the map. There are only 6 things to harvest on the map and many hexagonal spaces have more than 1 resource, so in that case, you can choose. If you roll a 12, you can roll 1 opponent Meeple on to the map. If he ends up on his feet he can stay there. If not, he has to be placed back where he was. On a 12, you will also move 10 of your squonks and your Meeple. You can harvest 6 different things off the map.

The resources are:

Yellow - Glass
Green - Wood
Orange - Brick
Brown - Ore
Blue - Oil
White - Coal

Part 3. The Riddle of The Great Accumulation

In this part, once 6 resources marked with pen and paper are accrued that you wish to use, your opponents have to have an emotional response to your story of how this 6 resource object or scenario came to be or you will not have that many of attacks.


Part 4. Your Squonk Is The Soldier of Fortune

You can attack with your Meeple any other Meeple by running up and sidling next to another Meeple. You can only attack for as many devices total you have built and won to use from the board play. The cards in your hand must always number 12 upon play. Play continues until your Meeple is last by attacking all the other Meeples 6 times each marked by your 4 colored dice to indicate your life beginning at 6 pips and going down. These dice are not rolled. The only dice rolled are the black dice. You must have the most objects built from board and cards to win when all the Meeples are dead but you. The only time your Meeple can move more than 2 hexagons out is after being attacked, he can move to any space on the board. Have 4 pens and 4 sheets of paper so you can tabulate your board resources.
Sorry, how do you "build a car" out of those "resources"? So you're just making up an object, and pretending that some bizarre combination of the "resources" can create it? So there's no limit? You could build a neutron bomb? And what does he mean, if you get an "emotional response" to your "story", you win? Are you looking to see if your opponent goes full blush face? Seriously, does he not understand that a game with so much randomness and playing pretend and unlimited movement built into it is essentially unplayable? It's like if you played rock paper scissors, but you kept adding additional objects, and anyone could make up a hand gesture for any object they could think of. Paper, rock, scissors, galaxy, earthquake, atom bomb, hellfire missiles. See? A game of unlimited bullshit like this would never end. No one would agree whether they'd lost or not. Its too subjective; games need objective rules that both players can agree upon to be fair.

Also, every piece when it moves, can move to anywhere else on the board? There's no set amount of spaces to move? So couldn't you just move your piece as far away from possible from the enemy? And do that over and over again? As in, the game would never end?

Even for fatty, this sounds totally insane...
 
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He's got gangrene infested feet that he can't do much more than shuffle around on so, alas, he cannot go out to the Bistangos of Spokane to lurch toward the honies.
This will no bode well for him his telomeres will be worthless if he ends up in a wheelchair on top of being poor, fat, nasty, lazy and cowardly. Is there a chance he will lose his feet from this infection?
 
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Now he's just delusional.
Wait a minute....I think i've seen this party....


King roys elk kingdom: where even the elk are exceptional

Careful zoomer baes - if you piss lucas off you might be denied some serious drunken elk pissing and sitting in a fetid hot tub with a 350lb obese hobo with mrsa

Also, we all know lucas's idea of a 'hot tub and prime rib' is more like this:
 
Lardass isn’t even on his Dad’s good side. When was the last time he even saw that verdant green 12 acre utopia?
Plus, is he even allowed to leave Mallon Place, like for as long as a week, or more? We know he can't have guests, he certainly doesn't have enough money for one airplane ticket, let alone two, so how's he planning to fly anywhere?
 
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