Shit that you overheard during Thanksgiving (2021)

Our Thanksgiving was pretty normal but there was more politics discussion, mostly discussing what "fuck joe biden/lets go brandon" merch people want for Christmas lol. Had a good spread, ham, turkey, venison steaks, 3 different types of potatoes, a couple casseroles, deviled eggs etc. Had hoped for pheasant but we decided 3 meats was enough and no one really preferred pheasant vs turkey. Highlight was when a little pet pig from one of the neighbors place came over looking for food, uncle came close to feeding it ham as a joke which freaked the neighbor kid right the fuck out lmao

edit - damn reading through some of y'alls experiences is saddening, sorry so many of you had a shitty day or didn't get to celebrate, I hope whatever's going on with you fellow autists gets resolved.
 
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We are at Bitchsister's. 8 AM she snarls, snaps, shoves the turkey in the oven. Disappears. During her absence I prepare four or five side dishes and a pie. Hours later she returns to remove the turkey and demands to know when I'm going to be "out of the way".

I cede the field. She makes mashed potatoes, going on and on about the "mess" I've left. Demands to know when I'll be done so we can eat. I calmly point out that I can neither clean up the "mess" nor finish cooking the food when I've been asked to leave the kitchen. She rages. Half the things I've prepared end up burned and the other half undercooked because she wants everything done NOW NOW NOW.

At the table they talk about politics. I zone out almost entirely but it makes me sad that they're all so totally incapable of letting it go, even for an hour. How terrible it must be to be so consumed.

Bitchsister and exhusband scream at each other and their out-of-control kids. Exhusband leaves, bitchsister goes upstairs with a wooden spoon to smack some littleboy ass. Everyone is gone/asleep by nine. I eat cake and ice cream alone and the silence is glorious.
 
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Least Concern said:
I have a younger cousin who I was fairly close with while growing up but who turned into an alcoholic after I went off for college and has pretty much been drinking in the twentysomething years since. Thanksgiving was at her parents' place this year, and because of this, it was dry - last night dad busted her when he found a malt liquor can in a trash can, but she insisted it wasn't hers and one of the other cousins must have brought it, though nobody would admit to it (it was probably hers).

Today while the "grown-ups" were cooking, she asked me if I'd give her a drive the the local convenience store (because of course she will probably never be able to get a license for the rest of her life) to grab some snacks and energy drinks and she'd even pay for my Monster if I gave her the ride. I was bored, so I said sure, while thinking that if she really intended to buy booze, there's no way I was going to let her do that (and no less than my mother, her father (my mother's brother), and one additional aunt also told me she would not be allowed to bring booze back to the house).

So we get to the store, and as we're getting out of the car, I'm like, "Oh by the way, if you want to buy booze, you're walking back home in this freezing weather, right?" Now I was expecting both "yeah, I know, don't worry" and "fuck you, asshole!" and got the latter - yeah, the snacks and Monsters were definitely a pretext for her getting a bottle or three. So she keeps erupting for like three minutes about how I'm a douchebag who should mind his own business and she just wanted to get a little bit of something and nobody had to know and blah blah (she even threw in "This must be why you're still single!" which made me crack up - yeah, if it were only that simple). Once she let me get a word in again, I said "your parents' place, your parents' rules, and my car, my rules. You want to buy booze, that's fine, but I ain't gonna help you with it." She grumbled some more but seemed to get that I wasn't going to budge on this, so we went inside and got some junk food and by the time we got halfway back home, she had forgotten about it and we were joking about the uncle who can't stop farting again.

I doubt this will actually put a dent in her drinking in the long term, but I hope she was reminded at least a little bit that it is possible to have a good time without having to be boozed into a haze every day.
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She should've gotten all her drinking done the night before, like professional alcoholics such as myself do, and stay dry during the family time. Drank 9 beers, and a long island iced tea (went down salty) between getting home from work and finally going to sleep. Woke up with a hangover at 11:30am, walked down to the store to buy salad dressing, and a red bull to wake myself up. I hate getting drunk around my family (especially around the you guns). When we did big family Thanksgivings/Christmas' (the last one was 4 years ago), I would cap myself at 2 beers and a scotch for the whole day because if there was going to be an argument, I didn't want to be involved (that, and I would still be recovering from the night before).
 
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I was at my elderly grandmother's house for Thanksgiving and she was giving away a bunch of my dead grandpa's stuff and I said "Granny what's this here?" And she said "That there's a nigger nocker and it's for nocking niggers. You want it?" I am now the proud owner of a Nigger Nocker™
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I've attended a friend's-giving for many years now since one of my parents died and my family fell apart years ago, blah blah blah. Which is absolutely fine because they're all reetards anyway. But GUESS WHAT. One of the other attendees that got sprung on us was a REAL LIFE TRANNY. Please believe me as I am not exaggerating-- imagine a near-nonverbal autistic transgender person trying to cope with a group of normies...

Incredibly entertaining watching that shitshow happen. Cheers everyone! :drink:
 
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Hex Cat said:
I was at my elderly grandmother's house for Thanksgiving and she was giving away a bunch of my dead grandpa's stuff and I said "Granny what's this here?" And she said "That there's a nigger nocker and it's for nocking niggers. You want it?" I am now the proud owner of a Nigger Nocker™
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How many niggers did your grandpa nock with that there nigger nocker?
 
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Hosting Thanksgiving went well. People like Mrs Heckler's food, and I got to heckle people irl.
 
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Walked away with an extra bird and leftovers I didn't have to cook, and still hate children more than ever. Cheers, kiwis.
 
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Fat Gay Riker said:
Most of mine is too fren. Faggy I know but love to you fellow kiwi, just not the gay kind (you're not my type).
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I love you as well in a totally not homosexual way, Internet stranger. Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. No joke though, sucks not to be able to witness my alcoholic druggie uncle run out the door yelling "I hate niggers, niggers niggers niggers!" before going to his drug shed in the backyard.
 
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Sithis said:
Our Thanksgiving was pretty normal but there was more politics discussion, mostly discussing what "fuck joe biden/lets go brandon" merch people want for Christmas lol. Had a good spread, ham, turkey, venison steaks, 3 different types of potatoes, a couple casseroles, deviled eggs etc. Had hoped for pheasant but we decided 3 meats was enough and no one really preferred pheasant vs turkey. Highlight was when a little pet pig from one of the neighbors place came over looking for food, uncle came close to feeding it ham as a joke which freaked the neighbor kid right the fuck out lmao

edit - damn reading through some of y'alls experiences is saddening, sorry so many of you had a shitty day or didn't get to celebrate, I hope whatever's going on with you fellow autists gets resolved.
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Had coon and possum alongside turkey before. Ascended white trash families make for interesting tables.
Edit: never pheasant, you rich faggot. Deer has never been on for thanksgiving before. I wonder why.... we always have some around
 
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Me and my cousins were eating turkey and the usual food that one has in a Thanksgiving meal with the exception of one guy. Get this. My older brother brings out the most absolutely shitty looking salad that I've ever seen. It was a purple cabbage salad and it had daisy seeds in it or some shit. The nigger doesn't even eat any of the food that my cousin spent hours of her time to cook the damn food. He just eats his shitty salad he made at fucking home in five minutes.

He doesn't have the curtesy to accept any of the food given to him by the hosts of the Thanksgiving dinner. My fucking parents have the gal to wonder and think why I hate my older brother. After that I got buzzed off the provided alcohol. Vegans are subhuman, I pray that none of you have to deal with horse shit like this.
 
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I started fasting for the first time ever on monday so I could end it with Thanksgiving dinner. After 3 days of suffering and several cans of dipping tobacco, the dinner felt very rewarding. Thanksgiving itself was very boring though, just me and my parents since my siblings all celebrated in their own homes.
 
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