DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[capefear56]

 

[Cataloons]

You know when there's a local convenience store that starts doing badly? So they try to get more customers by doing gimmicky new deals and start getting all kinds of odd brightly coloured tat with the hope it will attract new customers? But all it does is make the place look more sad and destitute?

That's how this new arc feels.

Brightly coloured and ugly overlays, the Christmas window dressing, the so obviously fake enthusiasm, are all symptoms of a failing business.

 

[Karlcaust History Museum]

Hey it's no problem, pal. I'll keep it up as long as I can!
Speaking of which, just got the new one ripped and upped, DSP uses this one to try and justify his pre-stream title change and bitches about people complaining about the pre-stream existing. His rebranding of the pre streams is just because he's annoyed by people complaining about how long and useless his pre-streams are.

https://youtu.be/c0h7UmPCxfM

 

[capefear56]

You know when there's a local convenience store that starts doing badly? So they try to get more customers by doing gimmicky new deals and start getting all kinds of odd brightly coloured tat with the hope it will attract new customers? But all it does is make the place look more sad and destitute?

That's how this new arc feels.

Brightly coloured and ugly overlays, the Christmas window dressing, the so obviously fake enthusiasm, are all symptoms of a failing business.

This is more like Germany trying out various "Wunderwaffe" and last-ditch weapons right before the Reich's collapase.

 

[JamFlowMan]

For the racing game, here's an incredibly easy way to get money, with no begging and makes for at least some entertaining gameplay: tip $1 and I'll do a race of your choice with a car of your choice. I'll try to win even with the silliest choices.

Absolutely zero begging, and it engages the chat. Wow, maybe I should be a streamer.

Or you could just offer the car choice to the one person who gives the most money and then just for the hell of it refuse to use your fake Forza money to unlock the chosen car. No offense but who knows better you or a streamer with a 13 year legacy that could go up in flames at any moment?

 

[Mature Adult]

View attachment 2759031

"okay you're about to tell a big lie, don't make any faces or draw attention to yourself"-DSP's brain

*goes bug eyed and looks everywhere but the camera*

 

[blahblahblah678]

A couple of things: podcasts are NOT interactive. Therefore the bullshit prestream is NOT a podcast. The daily wrap up is more of a podcast than his prestream is. Free advice Phil won’t take: kill your prestream and jump straight into gameplay, have your daily wrap up replace your prestream. The wrap up gets more views for Phil anyway and he can go on and on without interruptions and the shout outs he is loathe to do.

 

[Fragarach]

A couple of things: podcasts are NOT interactive. Therefore the bullshit prestream is NOT a podcast. The daily wrap up is more of a podcast than his prestream is. Free advice Phil won’t take: kill your prestream and jump straight into gameplay, have your daily wrap up replace your prestream. The wrap up gets more views for Phil anyway and he can go on and on without interruptions and the shout outs he is loathe to do.

The pre-stream only exists to reinforce the begging. I don't know what the original intended purpose of it was but it's warped into this movie-length rambling session about how he has bills due and he needs money and if you think he's going to leave it at that and just play a game for a couple hours, that's where you're wrong. Oh no, whether he's at $20 (Nobody's tipping, I don't get it, peepul said they wanted this game) or $90 (We're only $10 away from the vest, it'd be great if we could hit it since it's been a while...), the begging doesn't stop.

This is the worst he's ever been in terms of begging, even with his whales bankrolling him throughout the year it's STILL not enough because Phil has this weird mentality that if just the regular fucktard who I don't even need to name tips $90, he'll complain because "Only fucktard has tipped! Without fucktard, I'd be at ZERO DOLLARS!". It's like me going to work, getting my check and then bitching because outside of that check, I made ZERO DOLLARS this week! It's literally retard logic. Also what's this I hear about his bitching about YouTube subs all of a sudden like 90% of his subs aren't dead accounts? The man has 195k subs last I checked and that figure has been stagnant for years now. I remember he was at like 188k 4 or so years ago...So 7k subs in 4 years? He has videos from over a week ago sitting at sub-1k views. Dude's growth is non-existent and he knows it but won't do a damn thing to improve his channel stats. Just look at these thumbnails for fuck's sake:

 

[AckedyAckTheThird]

Dave is so delusional. "Spread the word! Tell people, 'Hey, did you know that DSP is back on YT as a full time streamer and that he has comments on his videos enabled again??'"

Who in the fuck does he think anyone would tell this to? I'm gonna talk to my fucking family about DSP?

These aren't edited, even though I really wish they were.



For those who think wanting DSP to actually die on stream or at the very least become homeless is taking it too far:



The reason he's so anal about his schedule:



Proof that repeating something long enough makes people believe it:


Proof (as if we needed it) corrupts everything around him like the toxic piece of shit he is:



I proudly say I can't wait for the day his shit health catches up to him and he dies live on stream for everyone to see. Won't be much longer now

 

[Pargon]

I proudly say I can't wait for the day his shit health catches up to him and he dies live on stream for everyone to see. Won't be much longer now

Lolcows subconsciously understand their place in the world, existing to bring other people twisted entertainment. They only die when doing so would deliver maximum laughs. I’d much rather Phil enter an actual health scare arc, rack up bills and become unable to mask the mounting panic stemming from not being able to make his pulls and getting threatening phone calls from collectors every hour.

Medical debt is a stain on this country and it is so perfect a fate in so many ways for Phil that it’s almost Shakespearean.

 

[UsedUp]

And see this is all it fucking takes. 1 person. Will turn into Alotta People are saying. DSP suffers greatly from confirmation Bias.

ETA

Starting with tomorrow and from here on in DSP better start posting on Twitter.

JOIN ME FOR MY NEW CHILL INTERACTIVE PRESTREAM PODCAST!
cause you sure as shit shouldn't be saying gameplay.

 

[Adebisi]

For the racing game, here's an incredibly easy way to get money, with no begging and makes for at least some entertaining gameplay: tip $1 and I'll do a race of your choice with a car of your choice. I'll try to win even with the silliest choices.

Absolutely zero begging, and it engages the chat. Wow, maybe I should be a streamer.

This is exactly what a streamer named Grubby does when he plays Warcraft 3. I think it's 20 bucks and you pick the army the hero's and the general strategy.

Grubby is great at this because he just dives in and tries it if it works good if not next game. Phil does not have the personality for this kind of content he would instantly turn toxic yelling at people for "setting him up to fail" and it would just degrade to him banning who ever tipped because there requests was stupid and a waste of time. Remember Phil's Ego comes first.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

I proudly say I can't wait for the day his shit health catches up to him and he dies live on stream for everyone to see. Won't be much longer now

Any bets on the cause? Mine would be either heart attack or liver cirrhosis. The former because... well duh - he's put himself in a situation where he's under high stress all the time due to his addictions and impulsive personality, he has a complete couch potato hermit lifestyle and goes outside only once a week, eats like complete shit and is a fat pig with twig arms and chicken legs.

With liver cirrhosis it's due to his years of heavily abusing alcohol. Last year the brother of another lolcow I follow suddenly died of liver cirrhosis, he went from being hospitalized to dying in the span of just two weeks. He was a heavy drinker, led a relatively active lifestyle and was only in his late 30s and despite being a heavy drinker he didn't look much older than what he actually was, the first time I saw him I thought he was in his early 40s. A month ago my dad's neighbor also died suddenly from liver cirrhosis, died after just 4 days of being admitted to the hospital. He was in his mid-50s and the last time I saw him which was last year he looked like complete shit, he looked like a 70 year-old man.

 

[YMB]

When Phil dies it will be from a gout attack

 

[Need Help With Tips]

My favorite Phil "growth" has to be his Twitter.
Turns off replies, goes off for hours and hours about how this is good for his Twitter engagements. Everyone is afraid to Like/RT/Reply to his posts because they see all the troll replies and become afraid they'll get trolled too, and because of this he gets way less retweets and likes than any other 25000-follower, verified Twitter account. Turning off the replies is a positive change, he's TAKING BACK HIS TWITTER, dood!
Here's just a few of examples of what it looks like when you've taken back your Twitter.

 

[Jose Cuervo]

These aren't edited, even though I really wish they were.

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For those who think wanting DSP to actually die on stream or at the very least become homeless is taking it too far:

View attachment 2759281

The reason he's so anal about his schedule:

View attachment 2759282

Proof that repeating something long enough makes people believe it:

View attachment 2759279
Proof (as if we needed it) corrupts everything around him like the toxic piece of shit he is:

View attachment 2759283

I proudly say I can't wait for the day his shit health catches up to him and he dies live on stream for everyone to see. Won't be much longer now

This looks to be an obvious troll, but the line between an ironic fan and an actual is a fine one.

 

[Crab Couch Choochoo]

He hates playing games and wants to get paid for his brilliant hot takes instead. It really is that simple. He's not wrong either. Even with a 95 IQ he understands that there is no genuine audience for a 40+ year-old playing kids games other than to laugh at him for being pathetic.

And his spiral of doom is pretty low right now. Sure he makes money, sure he has a few dentheads supporting him even the Caffeinated one seems to keep him up. But a few whales gone and a sudden betrayal of MrCoffee... what then is left?
He is spiraling over a black hole of his own failures, Kept up by a few people... and his name is worth less then Mud.
Yup I tell you we should be so jealous right now. Gotta remember no matter how much money he makes, he already lost the game. And WWE Champions already won!

 

[50 bit bitch]

View attachment 2759031

The face you make when you arrive at the pearly gates and have to debunk all of your sins

 

[UsedUp]

Please no! do not let DSP try to claim he's the longest running podcaster and inventor of them too like Let's Plays

 

[NaggotFigger]

Please no! do not let DSP try to claim he's the longest running podcaster and inventor of them too like Let's Plays
View attachment 2759667
View attachment 2759668

If the pig found out about it, he'll rant why his podcast is the longest-running and complain about the other podcast with very weak reasons, excuses and praising himself egoistically as usual.