Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Ira the Weatherman]

I feel kinda bad for the kid. He clearly got married, so he could finally smash some puss. Now he’s stuck in a marriage at an age when most people party and enjoy the hookup life.

I'd say it's even worse than that. We've already seen how Junior's first career steps have been a pratfall: dropping his college ambitions, quitting a decent starter job, prioritizing his dumb rap career and expensive frivolities. Normally, this wouldn't be too much of a problem. Plenty of kids in their early 20s make stupid decisions, wise up a few years later and make something of themselves. Hell, with Covid still ruling the world, they're probably in the best position ever to justify and make the best of a lacklustre CV.

What seperates Junior from those kids is that they can afford to fuck up. Cali's already married, gotten a house and been booted out of his parents' place with little chance of them financially supporting his future endeavors, if their niggardly attitude towards his wedding was any sign. He's got little room to maneuver, and if Mini-T gets pregnant he'll be locked into wageslaving the rest of his life away.

It's sad because it's painfully obvious that neither of the two are anywhere near ready to handle this level of responsibility and commitment at this point in their lives. They should've waited five, ten years and gotten their shit together before tying the knot.

Jack has more surgeries in a year than most people have in a lifetime, and all of his are avoidable. Having quarterly surgery because of obesity-related health complications is just totally normal to him - he doesn't even flinch. It's astonishing how nothing will make him change his behaivor.

He's like the Bizarro Spoony in that he's got a long list of real health problems but acts like there's nothing wrong.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

A shit ton of doctors aren’t religious so I’m calling shit on it. Most likely Jack was crying and asked for the physician to pray for him and the doc said “okay…” and did a quick Hail Mary or some shit. He doesn’t care about your religion Jack, he just care about the math so that you won’t wake up/die from the anesthesia

I would go as far and say that if the doc did a prayer it was a prayer of relief that Jack has survived the surgery and thereffore he can't be sued by his landwhale wife for medical malpractice.

Maybe this is a better question for the PCTLM chat but has Jack ever commented on why he has never reviewed Indian food? He's seemingly gone to most other stripmall available restaurant options so it seems really odd.

Why I don't review Indian Food?
Well, I don't know anything about the Food of any of the Native North American Tribes.
Jack Scalfani - most probably

Faith-based hospitals do exist. Ascension Saint Thomas Midtown in Nashville, for instance.

Isn't that a baptist hospital? Would Jack even go there?

Are you kidding? They love him and his repeat business. He's paying for their kid's college.

His GP who he sees regularly is probably frustrated that they can't get through to him, but all of the specialists and surgeons see dollar signs.

Doctor 1: Yeah, jack is back!
Doctor 2: Cool, my daughter needs a new Porsche.

 

[TurdFondler]

A shit ton of doctors aren’t religious so I’m calling shit on it. Most likely Jack was crying and asked for the physician to pray for him and the doc said “okay…” and did a quick Hail Mary or some shit.

Hail Mary, full of Grace
Have mercy on this porcine sinner
Who skipped prayers for extra dinner
A glutton who cries "feed my face!"
And hastens towards the pearly gates
Amen

 

[stets]

Jack's out and hasn't learned anything from the experience.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

We've got pig cups

 

[stets]

We've got pig cups

Damn, the crazy fucker even mentions Jim Traynor in this.
Edit: and there’s a floppy bowl reference for good measure.

 

[Ira the Weatherman]

We've got pig cups

@Pig Cups, comment?

 

[densedance]

Imagine Jack's doctor is putting him on Benzos. Fucking hell.

EDIT: Shotout for Robert telling us that he went to the Gym & of course the Jim Traynor reference.

 

[EvilDroid64]

Damn, the crazy fucker even mentions Jim Traynor in this.
Edit: and there’s a floppy bowl reference for good measure.

He also referenced that his wife was "terrible coughing" and that he's seen the muffin tins in a "ruby-tinted" color.
Edit: him and his brother are "BestBudz" too lmao

 

[feral cat #6385]

I feel kinda bad for the kid. He clearly got married, so he could finally smash some puss. Now he’s stuck in a marriage at an age when most people party and enjoy the hookup life. The wifey is already pigging up nicely, and it’s only a matter of time before the Scalfani curse turns him into his daddy. Before he knows it, he’s gonna be stuck in a loveless, sexless marriage with a hambeast, working three shifts to support two or three ugly kids, while his 300-lb wifey is getting slammed by a black guy. Living the Scalfani dream.

A bad personality having, anger issue having, dead end job working 7-11 clerk isn't gonna be slamming very much puss. He doesn't have the work ethic to work 1 shift let alone 3.

You also assume jack got married for pussy. He got married to hide his homosexuality. Jack Jr. is going to end up the new Goatse Man.

let's see

-two strokes (likely three)
-lost the use of his right arm
-diabetes
-kidney stones (twice)
-surgery on both feet for torn achilles tendons
-throat surgery for thyroid removal
-gallstones
-hernia surgery

even with all those ailments, i think he's still got more bacon cookers. i know @rubytintedchix can confirm

Wew. Imagine how many more health issues he would have if he didn't lean Keto.

How did this fat fuck give himself a hernia? He barely even moves. The only hernia I can imagine him getting is a hiatal hernia from ramming giant horse cock sized sausages down his throat.

It's probably really a prolapsed anus.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

We've got pig cups

The absolute Madlad did it again.

Gotta love how he's throwing shade in such a low key way.

 

[AnOminous]

Sure, Jack, sure, he did a prayer with you. Sure, Jack, sure.

I take events that didn't happen for 400, Alex.

Maybe he was indeed praying. Anesthesiologists have a really high rate of substance abuse. He was praying "please, God, I know I'm fucked up out of my mind on my own drugs, please don't let me fuck up. . .again. Last time the guy ended up brain-damaged. Yeah I know nobody will notice with this guy but still. . ."

 

[Mundane Ralph]

I really can't say enough good about Rob. This guy is the master of subtle trolling.

 

[desudesu]

Damn, the crazy fucker even mentions Jim Traynor in this.
Edit: and there’s a floppy bowl reference for good measure.

LMAO I actually teared up at the references: "Terrible coughing" "Floppy bowl" "Jim (Traynor)".

Edit: Oh my god at 3:00 he actually mentioned "rubytinted" as in @rubytintedchix ROB CONFIRMED ONE OF US.
Edit2: Bestbudz is also mentioned in the beginning of the video. Holy shit this is next level subtle trolling.

 

[ZipDisk]

More two handed action than you can shake a stick at!
The one joke I couldn't tell which way it went was if the Jump Cuts were just poking at Jack, or if he did it to avoid corpsing.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Rob you magnificent bastard.

Edit: He mentions @Aaway too toward the end.

 

[GoodFattyDeadFatty]

The real question is, which one of us is Rob? Pig Cups seems too obvious.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

The real question is, which one of us is Rob? Pig Cups seems too obvious.

When I grow up I want to be Rob

 

[DontEatThat]

Jack's out and hasn't learned anything from the experience.
View attachment 2760349

Jacks life has gotten to the point where he looks at his quarterly hospital visits and biannual surgeries as commonplace and he thinks nothing of it.

Im sure as he was being wheeled out by his wife the doctors say with full confidence, "Thank you, come again!" and they start bets on when his next visit is. He probably asked if he could get some Arbys on the ride home as an post-op treat.

We've got pig cups

Rob is a treasure and I not only enjoy the nature of his videos but all of his shoutouts and subtle jabs.

 

[Pig Cups]

@Pig Cups, comment?

Had to excuse myself from my office…the workers in the architectural firm next door probably got a good view of me by the designated smoking area, bent forward choke-laughing.

When Rob mentioned frozen Pig Cups in that FaceBook post awhile back (it lives on my profile), I was wondering if he was actually describing something real, or just trolling. Now I’m wondering if frozen Pig Cups were always a thing that he referred to as such before the birth of this account, or if this new video is him taking a matchless troll job even further.

Rob, you’re unparalleled, unrivaled, and unsurpassed. Your organic method of employing subtlety (those shoutouts…my god) with a touch of panache makes for a truly artful, Bob Ross-esque trolling experience- a style that I see much less of in the Internet realms. You made me more than smile today, which I desperately needed after the car trouble this morning.

May you and your family be blessed with good fortune, luck, health, and longevity. Have fun and Godspeed, you beautiful son of a bitch.