Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

B-b-but it's stainless steel. Stainless Steel! That just screams classy. I mean have you ever seen a Delorean? Classy. Case closed!

There was only ONE classy DeLorean and that one went 88 miles per hour, all the other DeLoreans are just tacky!

He was asked to do a house tour multiple times on the live streams and always refused

I wonder why

Nobody has the time to watch a fat moron trying to climb the stairs to his second floor for half an hour.

 

[Dondeld Dock]

The trash theory seems most likely, Jack said himself that he mostly cooks for videos and goes out to eat otherwise, so what would he even need hundreds of unitasker kitchen gadgets for?

Just imagine the amount of money Jack leeches off from Tammy to go eat outside several times a week. And counting the mandatory monthly new grill purchase and some random new kitchen appliances he uses once or twice, it's probably a grand per month for keeping his addiction to food going.

 

[feral cat #6385]

We all know he is probably going to use them as cereal bowls.

Too healthy. Mayo and bacon grease bowls.

Are you fucking kidding me, did that fat fuck seriously spent that amount of money for cheap chinese plastic crap?
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Ridiculous. I paid 30 bucks for plastic containers off Amazon. Fuck would anyone want stainless steel tops for.

 

[desudesu]

Another malady strikes the fat man! This time - hernia! Someone add this to the ailment list. Also congratulations to whoever that bet on "The next big health scare will be something else".

This fat Frankenstein is going under the knife AGAIN.

 

[Schmuck of Ages]

It has to be totally unrelated that Qali posted this after we dunked on how unhealthy his marriage seems.

 

[desudesu]

It has to be totally unrelated that Qali posted this after we dunked on how unhealthy his marriage seems.

Those thighs look like they're slowly morphing into Big T level of thunder thighs.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

Well darn he's proven us wrong once again! How can we ever recover?

 

[Bisteca Toblerone]

Dat Boi Cali subverting our expectations yet again!

 

[Kulee Baba]

But there's abolutely no need to buy that overpriced Oxo shyte when even at Amazon there's cheaper stuff available which can also be operated with one hand. Companies like Oxo thrive only because of dumbasses like Jack.
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Eh to play Devil's Advocate Oxo's Peppermill is just really good. Thing just does a real good job at grinding peppercorns at various levels of fineness. But you know it's only $17 which is pretty cheap to me especially for a tool I use several times a week.

With that said brand loyalty is generally really stupid unless you're say a mechanic who uses Snap-On tools that hold their value. The only thing that cooks should splurge on are quality knives (assuming they're willing to sharpen the damn things), decent pans and maybe good cutting boards. Also a Vitamix really does make a difference if you routinely blend shit.

 

[captkrisma]

"My wife is everything I am not"

So she's the one with actual talent and songwriting ability?

 

[Schmuck of Ages]

"My wife is everything I am not"

So she's the one with actual talent and songwriting ability?

Your wife is Qpilled and seemingly has minimal ambition since she married you. So pretty similar?

 

[salmonellajack]

"Obesity is a risk factor for developing a hernia because it increases the strain and pressure on the abdominal muscles, therefore making them weaker and more prone to a hernia. As time passes the hernia can grow larger and become dangerous in certain circumstances."

Leaning keto y'all. Leaning keto.

 

[Captain Ahab]

I feel kinda bad for the kid. He clearly got married, so he could finally smash some puss. Now he’s stuck in a marriage at an age when most people party and enjoy the hookup life. The wifey is already pigging up nicely, and it’s only a matter of time before the Scalfani curse turns him into his daddy. Before he knows it, he’s gonna be stuck in a loveless, sexless marriage with a hambeast, working three shifts to support two or three ugly kids, while his 300-lb wifey is getting slammed by a black guy. Living the Scalfani dream.

 

[Delilah Radio Show]

...before the Scalfani curse turns him into his daddy. Before he knows it, he’s gonna be stuck in a loveless, sexless marriage with a hambeast, working three shifts...

You're giving Jack entirely too much credit here.

 

[Schmuck of Ages]

I feel kinda bad for the kid. He clearly got married, so he could finally smash some puss. Now he’s stuck in a marriage at an age when most people party and enjoy the hookup life. The wifey is already pigging up nicely, and it’s only a matter of time before the Scalfani curse turns him into his daddy. Before he knows it, he’s gonna be stuck in a loveless, sexless marriage with a hambeast, working three shifts to support two or three ugly kids, while his 300-lb wifey is getting slammed by a black guy. Living the Scalfani dream.

Gotta disagree on his intent way more likely he did that because he thinks that's what you do to prove you aren't gay.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

Gotta disagree on his intent way more likely he did that because he thinks that's what you do to prove you aren't gay.

He got married because it is the "christian" thing to do, and it absolves him of any extraneous homo- and/or pedo- tendencies. Even if he is actively butt-fucking one of his young hangers-on, he can rationalize that he can't possibly be a faggot because he has a wife. I have had the misfortune of dealing with one or two closeted evangelical men, and this is how they think.

 

[Sonic T]

The hernia is just gonna turn out to be an 8 pound ball of bacon that pierced through his diaphragm.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

"My wife is everything I am not"

So she’s the one that’s not a Big Bite roller/wiper-down of public shitters …

Get your roll on, junior!!

 

[Kosher Salt]

he made tammy drive him 6 hours to review the keto bakery and he's complaining about an hour drive? not to mention burger wars and the recent bbq wars tour

Hell, he's not even driving. And there's no particular reason why he needs to tag along. Can Tammy not leave him alone to watch Blues Clues for a few hours?

 

[captkrisma]

So she’s the one that’s not a Big Bite roller/wiper-down of public shitters …

Get your roll on, junior!!

By these metrics Brianna is:

Not a gay pedophile

Talented

Able to do squats without shit form

Able to give genuine flexes outside of "I have a job and I'm married".

Doesn't have a shitty barber.