- Joined
- Aug 4, 2018
Yeast infection?Yeah, in that other (very gross) video it was clear and viscous. This is opaque and… chunky
Dead skin cells, since they have to jam a fishook down that thing to get the hair out?
Megathread SRS and GRS surgeons and associated horrors - the medical community of experimental surgeons, the secret community of home butchers
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Dead skin cells, since they have to jam a fishook down that thing to get the hair out?
MilesAwayGirl
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2021
Wild guess is that it didn't actually come out of the sausage, it's cervical mucous that's been thickened up by taking oestrogen pessaries (Like they're meant to do to keep their vadges healthy after giving themselves the menopause at 22). Definitely seen that described as chunky and looking like bloomed sealant, which that does.
...In the world which isn't a waking nightmare, that's just a picture of the rag that some thrifty joiner has used to skim the oxidised layer off the top of a can of cellulose lacquer.
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2015
Why do people think the "cumshot" is real? I bet it's soap or cream because troons are lying all the damn time.
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2021
@Guapmala for some reason i can’t reply to your post, but thanks, it was very informative.
One thing I think would be worth trying- maybe it’s too hard, idk but maybe you could give a more educated take on wether or not it’s a possibility-
what if for every troon of either sex who wants SRS gets thier blood test/match ability databases up, and gets their junk swapped.
like preserve all the structures and stitch em onto each other, depending on who is a good match, and then takes transplant drugs the rest of their life.
could that even maybe work?
it just seems like such a waste.. and brings you back to the stupidly obvious and depressing notion that there’s all these people who are multilaterally mutilating themselves trying to make a sad approximation of each other, and if they had the 50/50 luck of being born the sex they supposedly desired, they would only want it the other way round anyway, seeing as their problem is gender dysphoria.
it makes no sense - i know i’m preaching to the choir but the sheer pointlessness of it makes it so bizarre to me.
I am willing to suppose that the reason their care is so shit, is that a large swathe of talented surgeons want nothing to do with this so they are left with the dreg butchers.
It just seems ironic that all these healthy genitals are getting dumped on the scrap pile when other people are wanting just that, and maybe with a bit of coordination there could be some mitigation of waste- and honestly taking transplant anti rejection drugs doesn’t seem too bad compared to the rest of what they need to comply with medically for the rest of their lives anyway.
tell me exactly how stupid and impossible this is please
One thing I think would be worth trying- maybe it’s too hard, idk but maybe you could give a more educated take on wether or not it’s a possibility-
what if for every troon of either sex who wants SRS gets thier blood test/match ability databases up, and gets their junk swapped.
like preserve all the structures and stitch em onto each other, depending on who is a good match, and then takes transplant drugs the rest of their life.
could that even maybe work?
it just seems like such a waste.. and brings you back to the stupidly obvious and depressing notion that there’s all these people who are multilaterally mutilating themselves trying to make a sad approximation of each other, and if they had the 50/50 luck of being born the sex they supposedly desired, they would only want it the other way round anyway, seeing as their problem is gender dysphoria.
it makes no sense - i know i’m preaching to the choir but the sheer pointlessness of it makes it so bizarre to me.
I am willing to suppose that the reason their care is so shit, is that a large swathe of talented surgeons want nothing to do with this so they are left with the dreg butchers.
It just seems ironic that all these healthy genitals are getting dumped on the scrap pile when other people are wanting just that, and maybe with a bit of coordination there could be some mitigation of waste- and honestly taking transplant anti rejection drugs doesn’t seem too bad compared to the rest of what they need to comply with medically for the rest of their lives anyway.
tell me exactly how stupid and impossible this is please
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2021
Extremely stupid and impossible.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2020
@Falling Star
For some reason I can't directly quote your particular post.
For some reason I can't directly quote your particular post.
Gee if only they'd realize they don't have to mutilate themselves to stand up to pee... they can do it just fine with their inferior female bodies (example).
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2021
why though. they transplant organs and even limbs. they transplant faces and eyes- from dead people, living would be even better. two dumbasses with matching blood type or whatever, could have a swapshop.
(I am looking for an actual explanation from someone who knows more than shit-all)
and to all the troglos who contribute nothing to discussions, who rated the user above's comment about standing to pee dumb - yeah you can totally actually stand to pee as a woman, you just have to stand weird , you tards lol.
major rule of thumb in having any right to call troons idiots, is dont try to lay down the law on stuff you know nothing about, its hypocritical and boring.
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- Joined
- Apr 23, 2021
My understanding is that because of innate immune differences between women and men, transplants from women to men are pretty difficult to match on anything other than the most rudimentary organs, nevermind ones that respond directly to chemical processes/hormones endemic to one sex or the other.
Aside from that, a vagina isn’t just something that can be removed intact (I think) and is generally held in place by a functional system of ligaments and muscles…so you can’t really transplant all of that. The penis is the same: it’s more than just the visible organ,
Is that more of an answer?
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2021
ahh that’s right isn’t it- (i know this is certainly the case with heart transplants, and not sure how it extends to other organs) but i think it’s like- a woman can have a mans heart but not the other way round, it will kill him.
so maybe they could have the dicks?
it seems a little bit more feasible than the other way around, difficult as it would be, plus it
certainly seems like the amholes are certainly (sometimes, at least) aesthetically, externally better approximations than the flesh tube dicks.
but yeah maybe women could try for a stick on real dick. it would just take way more actual real medical, as opposed to plastic surgical expertise than is gonna be on offer.. and lots less chance of even that for guys wanting a vag.
sorry MtF’s.. actually i can’t see the men volunteering their dicks if they aren’t gonna be able to get the vag’s as a swap.. just out of spite and self interest really.
oh well, sorry Ayden, too. Nearly, eh, thought we were about to sort something out for ya !
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2020
The hell is a "peesh"? What is it with them and all this baby stuff?
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2021
Testosterone is the opposite of a fountain of youth. I stumbled across this strong, athletic man who showed even worse sign of skin aging as the victim above:
after 1 year on testosterone:
And this is her before she starting abusing hormones, as an emo/goth/whatever, and she should have stuck with it:
And this is her before she starting abusing hormones, as an emo/goth/whatever, and she should have stuck with it:
Good point, I went and googled that, it looks like there were several successful transplants of penises, many in South Africa, because there they seem to put the same care and hygiene to practice when they circumcise their boys as when they cut their girls.
maybe we'll see clitoris transplants one day?
But, there is hope on the horizon: (archive)
Considering this, I think there is room for a startup, 1) connecting true and honest women who want to donate their penises to true and honest men in need of one, 2) get the competent and dedicated surgeons mentioned in this thread to perform the transplants 3) profit????
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- Joined
- Jun 16, 2020
[You want reality of SRS? THEN YOU NEED TO READ THIS. This is what SRS really is. This is how much the doctors just want to get paid and give literal zero fucks about the patients they mutilate. This is goddamn butchery, and this is why trans people have such a high rate of suicide after SRS. Because it'd goddamn butchery and mutilation}
I have found a blog of a TIF who went through phalloplasty and had severe complications because of it. She originally wanted a metioplasty, but the doctor went to instead convince her to phalloplasty, and outright lied to her about the rate of complications. He told her it was 5%, but it really was 40-50% (and possibly higher, because we know these butchers always lie). Her story is horrific, and she mentions how the troon cult tries to silence those who've had horrible results and severe complications, and she herself has gotten abuse from people angry that she's speaking the reality of these "surgeries".
[She threatens legal action if her blog is posted on other sites without her explicit permission, but goddamn, her story needs to be heard and the reality seen. It's absolutely shocking how the trans medical industry is full of psychopaths and the shattering of their delusion they can actually become the opposite sex.
An actual warning, these photos are extremely disturbing, and they actually had to use leeches as treatment at one point.
Also to note, she deeply regrets this surgery, and even talks that she should have learned to love her body as it was, instead of trying to change it. The good news is that in her article, it does seem that there are active lawsuits against this doctor, and I pray that this shows people that these surgeons are literal butchers who care more about money than their actual patients.
I am in a strange place as of lately. Mentally, physically, emotionally. I am a shell of the strong person I once was. I feel defeated and the kind of depression I’ve never felt possible. I see others who are so excited for phalloplasty and I just want to scream out and tell them, it’s not the answer. That this surgery is not up to the standards it should be, that Surgeons and their aftercare are subpar.
I went to one of the most sought out surgeons in the world and what I experienced is much like a horror film. Keep in mind, I was physically/mentally strong at the time. But, while I am not the type of person who has a victim mindset or complex, I really feel as though my surgeon lied. Many of us feel this way. He kept telling me that this surgery has a less than 5% complication rate. That the complications were simple to fix should they happen. Turns out, even the best surgeon in the world has at least a 30-40 and even 50% complication rate. Also, people were having irreversible complications at that time I questioned him. Horrible ones. Even when I asked many times, he wasn’t transparent about them. I think that is what bothers me the most. Is that I had planned on metoidiplasty and then he (without my even asking) started talking about phalloplasty and how great it was. This obviously peaked my interest and yet I was told on many occasions that it was nothing to be afraid of. Had I known now what would unfold, I would have never gotten the surgery. I am very level headed and quite honestly, I don’t wish this on anyone.
So here I am, with a phallus that hardly works. Here I am having gone from a very healthy sex life to literally ZERO, yes, ZERO sex in the last three years. I can’t explain the level of inadequacy I feel. I’ve sought out other surgeons and they all say the same thing, that I ought to remove what I have and start over. The worst part is? The nerve that creates the erogenous sensation will no longer work. You can’t hook it up twice. Again, had I known this as a possibility, had I known half my dick would rot off, had I simply had a surgeon who was transparent, I would have never opted for it.
I feel like the most sacred part of me was stolen. Sure, I signed up for this surgery, I take responsibility. But when the list of facts and complication rates are not fully presented to me, that is negligent on his part. Withholding pertinent information that could change someone’s mind, is crucial. When you are seeking to make $400k on someone’s surgery, I can understand why a surgeon would want to leave it all out. It’s greedy, it’s ego drive, it’s cruel. I am left to pick up the pieces. I am left to foot the bill and add on $500 in monthly therapy. I am left with crippling depression.
Here’s the thing though, even if everything would have turned out slightly okay, I’m telling you, this sh*t doesn’t look real. I obviously saw hundreds of pictures, so obviously I knew it wouldn’t look like a cis penis. I consider myself to be a very well-informed, educated, down-to-earth person with expectations. But, the feeling I had pre surgery, the sensation, the pure bliss, it will never ever be the same. The sensation they tell you that you will feel, it’s a blatant lie. Just many of us aren’t willing to be honest.
I don’t know why so many of us are so shamed in not speaking up or out. When many of us do, we are ridiculed, we are SHAMED by our brothers. I can understand in a sense. There is so much red tape for us to get through to even have access to these surgeries, that if some or many (yes, there are more of us that feel this way than most know about), it could cause less access for others. I am tired of feeling like I don’t have a voice, I’m tired of being in the middle of trying to be PC, not give out too much information because I know from experience, that it only makes people angry. People seeking it out try to ignore the facts (or aren’t given them properly), they are blinded by excitement. I too was once in that boat. I’m no longer scared to be forthright in my opinions. I also understand it’s a balancing act of simply stating MY facts, MY opinions and also having to say “Oh, well my words do not reflect the opinions and experiences of all trans folks.”
To me, this surgery isn’t worth it. To me, it exacerbated my dysphoria. To me, there is and was something beautiful about my body pre-surgery. To me, I think more focus on questioning my desires to get this surgery, more focus on learning to love the body I was in was the answer. This surgery, isn’t going to change or cure dysphoria. Often, it will take a very long time for one’s brain to catch up with this new thing on their body. But even then, it’s not the same as before. It never will be.
I just want to put parts of my thoughts/story out there in case someone may relate to, be questioning or wanting to get phalloplasty. It isn’t as amazing as so many make it out to be. I don’t know why people are more obsessed about making it seem incredible via YouTube and Instagram. I wish more of us would really lay it out, but again, I know why I haven’t before. As I mentioned, people aren’t willing to listen, they just get angry. There isn’t much support.
In closing, we also feel like we need to worship these surgeons when honestly (excluding the one surgeon I have come into contact with who seems to care) see us as a cash cow. Just be careful, protect yourself. Do some really deep inner work. Question WHY you feel the need to get it. I really think it’s up to a person to feel whole and do that unsettling inner work. Getting surgery isn’t going to complete someone. It has to happen in your brain first. I’ll write more later. Maybe I’ll be more detailed but I am also wanting to stay anonymous.
This is why many of us do not come forward, because when we do try to give opposing insight or write experiences many wish to ignore, people get angry. Kind of reminds me of the recent Kavanaugh case. Also, I recognize that people need to be trigger warned constantly these days, which (in my opinion) doesn’t serve anyone in making fully informed decisions. I can’t sugar coat these raw, honest-to-god feelings that I have. It is a battle of trying to be as PC as I can but also be given the space on my blog to speak freely and work through this all.
I will not speak about how amazing it all is, because in truth.. in my truth.. it has been far from it. I’m no longer afraid to come forward. Coming forward has been a hurdle for the many of us who do regret phalloplasty. That is why there aren’t a lot of people who are genuinely open about it. The trans community will turn their backs, the conservatives THRIVE on stories like mine. It’s really a lose-lose situation and so we feel shamed into keeping our mouths shut. But seeing so many people gain access to these surgeries, (which is a good and bad thing), I’m hoping to make folks more informed on the horror stories. At least, my horror story.
When I say “it doesn’t look real”, I was talking about for myself. I have also talked with many other post-op folks who feel the same way. But I will also say, that as much as so many of us dream of it looking like someone who is cis, in my humble opinion, it doesn’t. Maybe close to it? With the lights on, no. I knew this going in. I’m many, many years into transition and having supposedly worked with one of the most sought out surgical teams… it doesn’t look cis. If they can’t do it.. hell, I don’t know who can. If this angers anyone, again, this is my opinion.
I feel like much of the community is so overly protective over these surgeons, so blinded by it all based on their excitement for it. It’s important for me to say, that I am a fairly educated person. I did an incredible amount of research on the ins & outs of it all. In fact, I will go as far to even say that I schooled a Kaiser Urologist who assists in these surgeries now (woo, scary), who didn’t even know they do a nerve hook-up...anastomosis...(or other details). Even while my first 15 day stay in the ICU (should have been 5), I had to even instruct nurses on certain things. Surgeon’s lingo and explanations were very clear to me, because I did take the time to research it all for years beforehand. So, I didn’t come into this surgery blindly.
I will however say, that the “world-renowned” surgeon here on the west coast that I went to lied about his complication rates. 5% or lower (what he claimed) is actually 40-60%. This is a huge negligent discrepancy. Withholding pertinent information like this is criminal and cruel. When I asked many times, if anyone had any damaging/irreversible/or complete loss of the phallus, he said “NO!” Well, now there are about 9 people suing him. (Good, I hope they take him down and find peace). Sure enough, people had before and were in the midst of these horrible complications as I asked him. Had I know about all of this, been given correct percentage rates, I would have never agreed to it. Ever. For me, phalloplasty isn’t life or death. To me, death is and has never been the answer. I desired this surgery to live a happier, fuller life. But it stole every ounce of self-esteem, happiness, I lost my voice (as mentioned above, too afraid to be honest and open), I lost the ability to connect with people in an intimate way-which has always been so sacred and beautiful to me. I also lost years of my life recovering, not being able to finish school because I had to make sure I had time to get revisions. This has set my career back completely. It has set back a lot of my life goals actually... and I’m not some wah-wah baby who can’t suck it up. I am incredibly strong emotionally/spiritually/mentally/was physically. This surgery changed me to my core and I am fighting to come back.
It isn’t necessarily my intention to give blanket statements. I am giving my opinions, voicing my thoughts for those on the fence. I’m giving insight from “the other side”. If I can save someone any sort of irreversible harm and/or if I can help someone who feels alone while they are currently working through their own phallo-related complications, if I can help INFORM people of realities that many of us face so that they are not as blind-sided as I was.. then I have done what I am hoping to do. Also, my form of therapy.. well, aside from the hundreds I pay out of pocket each mouth for actual therapy.
My next post will give a SHORTENED.. and I mean, condensed version of what I experienced as many have DM-ed me about. I am still facing many more surgeries.
I know, some of this is tough to hear. I will try to be sensitive and mindful of feelings, but as mentioned, I will not sugar coat it. If a person doesn’t like it... please, scroll down.
Part 3 is where she condenses all the horrible shit she has experienced because of this shit. It is extremely graphic complete with graphic pictures.
I had ALT phalloplasty and what has resulted are some of the following issues:
-Additional surgeries to fix first surgery-still ongoing.
-14 days in the ICU instead of the normal 5, and then another 3ish days at CPMC. 5 surgeries so far and many more to come!
-Disfigurement of phallus
-Very little to no sensation
-Unable to get erectile implant for intimacy because the sensation isn’t enough and can cause it to erode through the skin.
-Loss of 40% of phallus due to necrosis. In fact, part of my phallus was rotting off.. and the surgeon just said “Use soap and water”. I literally had to PUSH and beg to get back in and fix it. This is actually a tame picture. The rest of it is black and awful. Oh they also left the doppler wires in it. Cool.
-Multiple blood transfusions
-The inability to urinate in the way I originally sought out surgery for due to complications of necrosis and blood flow issues which caused for the urethra lengthening to die. Because of the blood flow issues, I had to have leech therapy (had upwards of 100 leeches) throughout my duration in the ICU.
-Major leg atrophy and was unable to walk for about a month
-Major weight loss of about 20lbs from being bedridden.
-I also had to be rushed to the ER on because my catheter was plugged up (possibly do to build up of bacteria from my chronic UTI’s) and I couldn’t release my urine from my bladder. My suprapubic catheter hadn’t been changed since my surgery on 08/31/15 and should have been changed during one of my visits to Dr **** office because of the UTI’s and the buildup. This caused excruciating bladder pain as I held about three times as much urine as bladders can normally hold and according to the ER reports I suffered from doubt pyelonephritis (can be life threatening) and acute kidney injury.
-I was unable to work for roughly 7 months etc. because of surgeries and recovery.
-I also suffer now from major depression, anxiety, PTSD from everything I have endured and in thinking about future surgeries which I’m spending almost $500 a month for out of pocket to help work through these issues.
-I once had a very healthy sex life and have since not been able to have any sort of sexual intimacy with my partner as it isn’t possible.
-Will have to face many more surgeries and essentially, all of this is irreversible.
- After one of my last surgeries, I developed Shingles shortly after from a weakened immune system as well as had many other weird ailments and sicknesses.
-This isn’t over yet, the fun is just getting started!
My heart goes out to her, especially because she deeply regrets this, cannot have sex, and trying to fix this will just result in zero feeling, even more complications, and absolutely no sex life.
thestruggletobecomeagain.tumblr.com
I have found a blog of a TIF who went through phalloplasty and had severe complications because of it. She originally wanted a metioplasty, but the doctor went to instead convince her to phalloplasty, and outright lied to her about the rate of complications. He told her it was 5%, but it really was 40-50% (and possibly higher, because we know these butchers always lie). Her story is horrific, and she mentions how the troon cult tries to silence those who've had horrible results and severe complications, and she herself has gotten abuse from people angry that she's speaking the reality of these "surgeries".
[She threatens legal action if her blog is posted on other sites without her explicit permission, but goddamn, her story needs to be heard and the reality seen. It's absolutely shocking how the trans medical industry is full of psychopaths and the shattering of their delusion they can actually become the opposite sex.
An actual warning, these photos are extremely disturbing, and they actually had to use leeches as treatment at one point.
Also to note, she deeply regrets this surgery, and even talks that she should have learned to love her body as it was, instead of trying to change it. The good news is that in her article, it does seem that there are active lawsuits against this doctor, and I pray that this shows people that these surgeons are literal butchers who care more about money than their actual patients.
Phalloplasty Regret PART 1
*This Blog and its content is NOT to be republished on and in any other form of media without my explicit permission. Doing so will result in legal action.*I am in a strange place as of lately. Mentally, physically, emotionally. I am a shell of the strong person I once was. I feel defeated and the kind of depression I’ve never felt possible. I see others who are so excited for phalloplasty and I just want to scream out and tell them, it’s not the answer. That this surgery is not up to the standards it should be, that Surgeons and their aftercare are subpar.
I went to one of the most sought out surgeons in the world and what I experienced is much like a horror film. Keep in mind, I was physically/mentally strong at the time. But, while I am not the type of person who has a victim mindset or complex, I really feel as though my surgeon lied. Many of us feel this way. He kept telling me that this surgery has a less than 5% complication rate. That the complications were simple to fix should they happen. Turns out, even the best surgeon in the world has at least a 30-40 and even 50% complication rate. Also, people were having irreversible complications at that time I questioned him. Horrible ones. Even when I asked many times, he wasn’t transparent about them. I think that is what bothers me the most. Is that I had planned on metoidiplasty and then he (without my even asking) started talking about phalloplasty and how great it was. This obviously peaked my interest and yet I was told on many occasions that it was nothing to be afraid of. Had I known now what would unfold, I would have never gotten the surgery. I am very level headed and quite honestly, I don’t wish this on anyone.
So here I am, with a phallus that hardly works. Here I am having gone from a very healthy sex life to literally ZERO, yes, ZERO sex in the last three years. I can’t explain the level of inadequacy I feel. I’ve sought out other surgeons and they all say the same thing, that I ought to remove what I have and start over. The worst part is? The nerve that creates the erogenous sensation will no longer work. You can’t hook it up twice. Again, had I known this as a possibility, had I known half my dick would rot off, had I simply had a surgeon who was transparent, I would have never opted for it.
I feel like the most sacred part of me was stolen. Sure, I signed up for this surgery, I take responsibility. But when the list of facts and complication rates are not fully presented to me, that is negligent on his part. Withholding pertinent information that could change someone’s mind, is crucial. When you are seeking to make $400k on someone’s surgery, I can understand why a surgeon would want to leave it all out. It’s greedy, it’s ego drive, it’s cruel. I am left to pick up the pieces. I am left to foot the bill and add on $500 in monthly therapy. I am left with crippling depression.
Here’s the thing though, even if everything would have turned out slightly okay, I’m telling you, this sh*t doesn’t look real. I obviously saw hundreds of pictures, so obviously I knew it wouldn’t look like a cis penis. I consider myself to be a very well-informed, educated, down-to-earth person with expectations. But, the feeling I had pre surgery, the sensation, the pure bliss, it will never ever be the same. The sensation they tell you that you will feel, it’s a blatant lie. Just many of us aren’t willing to be honest.
I don’t know why so many of us are so shamed in not speaking up or out. When many of us do, we are ridiculed, we are SHAMED by our brothers. I can understand in a sense. There is so much red tape for us to get through to even have access to these surgeries, that if some or many (yes, there are more of us that feel this way than most know about), it could cause less access for others. I am tired of feeling like I don’t have a voice, I’m tired of being in the middle of trying to be PC, not give out too much information because I know from experience, that it only makes people angry. People seeking it out try to ignore the facts (or aren’t given them properly), they are blinded by excitement. I too was once in that boat. I’m no longer scared to be forthright in my opinions. I also understand it’s a balancing act of simply stating MY facts, MY opinions and also having to say “Oh, well my words do not reflect the opinions and experiences of all trans folks.”
To me, this surgery isn’t worth it. To me, it exacerbated my dysphoria. To me, there is and was something beautiful about my body pre-surgery. To me, I think more focus on questioning my desires to get this surgery, more focus on learning to love the body I was in was the answer. This surgery, isn’t going to change or cure dysphoria. Often, it will take a very long time for one’s brain to catch up with this new thing on their body. But even then, it’s not the same as before. It never will be.
I just want to put parts of my thoughts/story out there in case someone may relate to, be questioning or wanting to get phalloplasty. It isn’t as amazing as so many make it out to be. I don’t know why people are more obsessed about making it seem incredible via YouTube and Instagram. I wish more of us would really lay it out, but again, I know why I haven’t before. As I mentioned, people aren’t willing to listen, they just get angry. There isn’t much support.
In closing, we also feel like we need to worship these surgeons when honestly (excluding the one surgeon I have come into contact with who seems to care) see us as a cash cow. Just be careful, protect yourself. Do some really deep inner work. Question WHY you feel the need to get it. I really think it’s up to a person to feel whole and do that unsettling inner work. Getting surgery isn’t going to complete someone. It has to happen in your brain first. I’ll write more later. Maybe I’ll be more detailed but I am also wanting to stay anonymous.
Phalloplasty Regret PART 2
I wanted to follow-up on my last blog. I had a fair amount of comments of those who were upset over some of my descriptions/opinions. I think that has been the issue for my silence for so many years. When I voice *my* issues, people take offense to it all. I am not sure why this is. I personally, prefer when people are open/honest/real.This is why many of us do not come forward, because when we do try to give opposing insight or write experiences many wish to ignore, people get angry. Kind of reminds me of the recent Kavanaugh case. Also, I recognize that people need to be trigger warned constantly these days, which (in my opinion) doesn’t serve anyone in making fully informed decisions. I can’t sugar coat these raw, honest-to-god feelings that I have. It is a battle of trying to be as PC as I can but also be given the space on my blog to speak freely and work through this all.
I will not speak about how amazing it all is, because in truth.. in my truth.. it has been far from it. I’m no longer afraid to come forward. Coming forward has been a hurdle for the many of us who do regret phalloplasty. That is why there aren’t a lot of people who are genuinely open about it. The trans community will turn their backs, the conservatives THRIVE on stories like mine. It’s really a lose-lose situation and so we feel shamed into keeping our mouths shut. But seeing so many people gain access to these surgeries, (which is a good and bad thing), I’m hoping to make folks more informed on the horror stories. At least, my horror story.
When I say “it doesn’t look real”, I was talking about for myself. I have also talked with many other post-op folks who feel the same way. But I will also say, that as much as so many of us dream of it looking like someone who is cis, in my humble opinion, it doesn’t. Maybe close to it? With the lights on, no. I knew this going in. I’m many, many years into transition and having supposedly worked with one of the most sought out surgical teams… it doesn’t look cis. If they can’t do it.. hell, I don’t know who can. If this angers anyone, again, this is my opinion.
I feel like much of the community is so overly protective over these surgeons, so blinded by it all based on their excitement for it. It’s important for me to say, that I am a fairly educated person. I did an incredible amount of research on the ins & outs of it all. In fact, I will go as far to even say that I schooled a Kaiser Urologist who assists in these surgeries now (woo, scary), who didn’t even know they do a nerve hook-up...anastomosis...(or other details). Even while my first 15 day stay in the ICU (should have been 5), I had to even instruct nurses on certain things. Surgeon’s lingo and explanations were very clear to me, because I did take the time to research it all for years beforehand. So, I didn’t come into this surgery blindly.
I will however say, that the “world-renowned” surgeon here on the west coast that I went to lied about his complication rates. 5% or lower (what he claimed) is actually 40-60%. This is a huge negligent discrepancy. Withholding pertinent information like this is criminal and cruel. When I asked many times, if anyone had any damaging/irreversible/or complete loss of the phallus, he said “NO!” Well, now there are about 9 people suing him. (Good, I hope they take him down and find peace). Sure enough, people had before and were in the midst of these horrible complications as I asked him. Had I know about all of this, been given correct percentage rates, I would have never agreed to it. Ever. For me, phalloplasty isn’t life or death. To me, death is and has never been the answer. I desired this surgery to live a happier, fuller life. But it stole every ounce of self-esteem, happiness, I lost my voice (as mentioned above, too afraid to be honest and open), I lost the ability to connect with people in an intimate way-which has always been so sacred and beautiful to me. I also lost years of my life recovering, not being able to finish school because I had to make sure I had time to get revisions. This has set my career back completely. It has set back a lot of my life goals actually... and I’m not some wah-wah baby who can’t suck it up. I am incredibly strong emotionally/spiritually/mentally/was physically. This surgery changed me to my core and I am fighting to come back.
It isn’t necessarily my intention to give blanket statements. I am giving my opinions, voicing my thoughts for those on the fence. I’m giving insight from “the other side”. If I can save someone any sort of irreversible harm and/or if I can help someone who feels alone while they are currently working through their own phallo-related complications, if I can help INFORM people of realities that many of us face so that they are not as blind-sided as I was.. then I have done what I am hoping to do. Also, my form of therapy.. well, aside from the hundreds I pay out of pocket each mouth for actual therapy.
My next post will give a SHORTENED.. and I mean, condensed version of what I experienced as many have DM-ed me about. I am still facing many more surgeries.
I know, some of this is tough to hear. I will try to be sensitive and mindful of feelings, but as mentioned, I will not sugar coat it. If a person doesn’t like it... please, scroll down.
Part 3 is where she condenses all the horrible shit she has experienced because of this shit. It is extremely graphic complete with graphic pictures.
PHALLOPLASTY REGRET PART 3-More details
I am providing a very short list of some of the complications I had. Maybe I’ll provide more DETAILED “details” later on.I had ALT phalloplasty and what has resulted are some of the following issues:
-Additional surgeries to fix first surgery-still ongoing.
-14 days in the ICU instead of the normal 5, and then another 3ish days at CPMC. 5 surgeries so far and many more to come!
-Disfigurement of phallus
-Very little to no sensation
-Unable to get erectile implant for intimacy because the sensation isn’t enough and can cause it to erode through the skin.
-Loss of 40% of phallus due to necrosis. In fact, part of my phallus was rotting off.. and the surgeon just said “Use soap and water”. I literally had to PUSH and beg to get back in and fix it. This is actually a tame picture. The rest of it is black and awful. Oh they also left the doppler wires in it. Cool.
-Multiple blood transfusions
-The inability to urinate in the way I originally sought out surgery for due to complications of necrosis and blood flow issues which caused for the urethra lengthening to die. Because of the blood flow issues, I had to have leech therapy (had upwards of 100 leeches) throughout my duration in the ICU.
-Major leg atrophy and was unable to walk for about a month
-Major weight loss of about 20lbs from being bedridden.
-I also had to be rushed to the ER on because my catheter was plugged up (possibly do to build up of bacteria from my chronic UTI’s) and I couldn’t release my urine from my bladder. My suprapubic catheter hadn’t been changed since my surgery on 08/31/15 and should have been changed during one of my visits to Dr **** office because of the UTI’s and the buildup. This caused excruciating bladder pain as I held about three times as much urine as bladders can normally hold and according to the ER reports I suffered from doubt pyelonephritis (can be life threatening) and acute kidney injury.
-I was unable to work for roughly 7 months etc. because of surgeries and recovery.
-I also suffer now from major depression, anxiety, PTSD from everything I have endured and in thinking about future surgeries which I’m spending almost $500 a month for out of pocket to help work through these issues.
-I once had a very healthy sex life and have since not been able to have any sort of sexual intimacy with my partner as it isn’t possible.
-Will have to face many more surgeries and essentially, all of this is irreversible.
- After one of my last surgeries, I developed Shingles shortly after from a weakened immune system as well as had many other weird ailments and sicknesses.
-This isn’t over yet, the fun is just getting started!
My heart goes out to her, especially because she deeply regrets this, cannot have sex, and trying to fix this will just result in zero feeling, even more complications, and absolutely no sex life.
The Struggle to Become Again
thestruggletobecomeagain.tumblr.com
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- Joined
- Feb 2, 2021
Very true regarding testosterone.
The reason why lesbians sometimes look like a young justin bieber, is that tween boys is about the last time male skin is on par with female skin.
Testosterone does a number on it- though it does seems to be at least somewhat reversible to a degree; MtF skin seems to regain some of the softness and bouyancy after they've been on female hormones a while.
Which is surprising because usually elasticity is a one-way street.
(I dont even know what look that black person is going for, btw. Are they taking testosterone? They look more womanly in the second shot. Is it a detran? )
Criticallacitirc
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2020
They actually use the skin of the penis & scrotum to make the neovagina. So the only thing trannies could donate to aidens would be the scooped out insides and the actual testes.
Only thing being donated is haunted cadaver dick.
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2018
Well at least the doc did something right.
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2021
Imagine coming into the "People Who Treat Body Parts As Though Humans Are Mr. Potato Head" thread and being all "hey what if ppl just treat body parts like they're Mr potato head tho??"
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2017
Question for the fellas here: Do you guys cum directly on your clothes? I would think that would be something to avoid...
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2018
She looks like a total cunt, and the most ratfaced ugliest "dude" who you'd avoid like the plague.
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2020
The more upsetting thing for transing a child is even is still treating detransitioned kids as if they were Mr. Potato Head, just not in the tranny way anymore. I don't think troonism is the whole problem, but rather how many have unquestioning trust in medicine. They still think that human body parts can be butchered and grafted if they wish.
The number of detransitioners who think that getting fake tits or neuticles to replace chopped off parts would "make them whole again" only confirmed me that their issue goes much deeper than gender.
Eventually some is going to look like this and they're still on the surgery goose chase
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- Joined
- Jan 31, 2015
Yeah but there is a huge difference between replacing something you lost and attaching something to your body you aren't supposed to have.