DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

I still can't get over how he's so lazy and creatively bankrupt that he called it the "Prestream Podcast." He seriously couldn't have sat down for 5 minutes to think of some name for it like "The King's Court" or "The Daily Hate" or "One Hour of Beg" or "The Pig's Trough" or "God I Really Don't Wanna Stream Video Games so I Retroactively Called My One Hour Prestream Rambling Therapy Session a Podcast" or something like that?

I like the last one the most as it's the most accurate, but Phil would probably have picked the first if he had put any thought into this ''rebranding'' instead of making an ''on the fly™'' call.

Thus I would argue that we should never be surprised at just how monumentally lazy, stupid and creatively bankrupt Phil is. But I think that is one the fascinating aspects of following ''The Pig in Renton'' show, when he surprises us it's always with a new low.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Phil isn't starting a full-blown legit podcast. His pre-streams are long as hell, and he does love to ramble, but there's a reason they're not the whole stream, and the rest of the time, unless something pokes him into ranting again, he's a dull affair. He has nothing to say unless his brain is itching to get some stupid shit out there, and he so vehemently hates the idea of admitting that drama is the only thing he can use to draw in more view and dollars, that that alone would prevent him from simply turning on the camera and streaming himself reacting angrily to whatever he can find on the internet.

Speaking of reaction vids, Phil can't afford to go that route either because he knows damn well that 1) he's too boring unless he's mad, and 2) it's only a matter of time before he shits on the wrong YouTuber, who gets wind of it, and has no idea that they're retaliating against someone so irrelevant, proceeding to destroy him utterly. There's a reason he keeps @ing nice folks like Max Dood, who he knows are just going to ignore him at worst.

No, he refers to his long pre-streams as a podcast merely because the complaints about their length irritate him, and he wants to shut that griping down. And he gets annoyed because that's one of his vices being criticized, requesting that he cut down on his pre-streams is like telling him to stop drinking so much, or stop playing Champions. He's going to get indignant every time, and eventually do something spiteful in retaliation. "You don't like my overly long ramblings? Well they're called a 'podcast' now! STFU! ACK ACK ACK!"

 

[Iron Hamster]

So the retrospective is coming up and I I'm excited as fuck because it's going to be a boring train wreck, what's the current thoughts on it ?

What is there to 'retrospect' about a couple months? This is what has never made sense. A retrospective would be 5 year intervals minimum. Other than that, it's a retconspective.

 

[SomeoneLikeMYFATHER]

Idk, you guys just need to step it up this month so Phil doesn’t get depressed that he can’t enjoy the holidays with his family because he has to stress about money. He’s so tired of worrying about surviving he just wishes he can have one normal holiday so let’s step up the fucking support, ok? There’s a man out there that needs funds to pay for his bills, his son, I mean, cat, Jasper, hor- wife, Kat, groceries, innernet, grosheries, going to the garbage dump, going to get mail, paying back taxes, paying off his credit cards, uhhh, unmm just give him money, sound good?


Ok for real, if Phil has done anything to describe Kat, it’s that she’s pretty worthless. He does a pretty bad job of making his wife look good. We’re talking about a women with a supposed full-time job that isn’t able to help Phil with his bills and is only good for *sometimes* cooking. Aside from that, all she does is play video games watch TV, and run “errands” with Phil.

There was also a stream once where he left his camera on accidentally, this wasn’t too long ago, but he just stares at his PC and furiously bites his nails while shaking his leg uncontrollably. Guy is a nervous wreck. Kind of makes you wonder wtf he’s actually like.

 

[der rademacher]

You ready for a meta level mind fuck.. Geralt's horse was named "Roach".

Fuck! I knew that but completely forgot it. In that case, could we say that the Khet that became the roach has cum full circle?

Don't let her play Ghosts of Tsushima. Ghengis' great grandson looks a little bit like a slightly younger DSP:

View attachment 2767882

Wouldn't it be hillarious if someone at Sucker Punch would admit that they were browsing the internet, looking for the most ugly, brutish looking hack-face for their main antagonist... and then they came across THAT video?

Speaking of reaction vids, Phil can't afford to go that route either because he knows damn well that 1) he's too boring unless he's mad, and 2) it's only a matter of time before he shits on the wrong YouTuber, who gets wind of it, and has no idea that they're retaliating against someone so irrelevant, proceeding to destroy him utterly. There's a reason he keeps @ing nice folks like Max Dood, who he knows are just going to ignore him at worst.

Which is why it would work out for him in the end. He can talk about his most loved subject (himself) endlessly by comparing himself or his content to others, he can shit on the other guys (and block them on twitter in advance to avoid retaliation) AND if everything goes well, he'll get the attention he oh so craves for. Also, he could have his paypigs fork over some WWE-bucks for letting them nominate the vids he reacts to. As long as he does not anger Aunt Susan, everything should be golden.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

I still can't get over how he's so lazy and creatively bankrupt that he called it the "Prestream Podcast." He seriously couldn't have sat down for 5 minutes to think of some name for it like "The King's Court" or "The Daily Hate" or "One Hour of Beg" or "The Pig's Trough" or "God I Really Don't Wanna Stream Video Games so I Retroactively Called My One Hour Prestream Rambling Therapy Session a Podcast" or something like that?

As I said before, he could've called it "The Camera's On" and taken the piss out of himself and been creative, but no. Phil's ego and laziness won't allow that.

 

[bajagoogoo]

I think it's a panic move seeing his audience dwindle, it's his stupid way of changing the formula. I see it as lipstick on a pig (pun intended).

It's probably a bit of both. The timing is just too coincidental for me to not suspect shenanigans from Phil, especially with the recent activity.

 

[Serf 'n' TERF]

It's probably a bit of both. The timing is just too coincidental for me to not suspect shenanigans from Phil, especially with the recent activity.

I think that he is fully aware that his entire "career" now rests on the shoulders of a handful of whales, and a considerable amount of temporary members in the form of socks. He has to hope that:

1) The regular stipends keep coming from the likes of 1MM and PlanetJeff.
2) REDACTED keeps pumping the channel full of botted members.

And any mature adult with a business degree can see that this is not a sustainable business model.

All of these knee-jerk changes, which should've been made 5+ years ago, are just an effort to expand his outreach to try and develop a more legitimate fanbase. Could it really be that our PPB is finally thinking of long-term financial stability ? No... Surely not...

 

[Burner Anomaly]

All of these knee-jerk changes, which should've been made 5+ years ago, are just an effort to expand his outreach to try and develop a more legitimate fanbase. Could it really be that our PPB is finally thinking of long-term financial stability ? No... Surely not...

I didn't look over the bank leaks super thoroughly but I don't remember seeing any regular transfers to other accounts, like, say, a savings account? Am I right to assume that? Losing a whale like OIC or 1MM would be like losing an arm for him in that case. I just went to another level of understanding of how sad this dude is. Damn.

 

[Very Honest Content]

You're right about everything except that Phil does not see this as an alternative to current contributions, he sees it as an addition. In his mind, there is no 'loss', there is just gain.

On one hand, he has long operated on this myth of 'The Youtube Audience'. He has repeatedly openly appealed to them when support on streams has been good but he needed someone to beg at for more (implying he perceives them as a relatively untapped source of money), and recently did this again in addition to asking for them to like his videos and start to comment again..There are whales that are complicit in that they understand that the scams aren't just about the money, but Phil's narratives and sleazy moves to net more support from passing idiots and create faux legitimacy.

To that end, the Super Thanks would give the whales a chance to throw money at Phil in order to 'own' us by making it harder to track his income, while also making it look like Phil has indeed had secret popularity on Youtube this whole time. They will do this in addition to tipping as they currently do, not as a replacement for it. This is remarkably stupid, but we are dealing with some of the most warped whales we have ever seen.

I always enjoy your tryposts that delve into motivations of the pigroach and the goutosphere orbiters, but I find a flaw in your logic here: you say the superthanks allows whales to "own" detractors by making it harder to track his income, but the idea of whales owning detractors by sending money to Phil runs counter to that argument, why would they support in a way that detractors won't see if they're attempting to have someone punch air over it in the first place?

 

[Tropico 2: Port Snort]

I think that he is fully aware that his entire "career" now rests on the shoulders of a handful of whales, and a considerable amount of temporary members in the form of socks. He has to hope that:

1) The regular stipends keep coming from the likes of 1MM and PlanetJeff.
2) REDACTED keeps pumping the channel full of botted members.

And any mature adult with a business degree can see that this is not a sustainable business model.

All of these knee-jerk changes, which should've been made 5+ years ago, are just an effort to expand his outreach to try and develop a more legitimate fanbase. Could it really be that our PPB is finally thinking of long-term financial stability ? No... Surely not...

I agree that he sees the writing on the wall but I still think this dense cocksucker believes the ship will stay upright indefinitely. He's making very ephemeral cosmetic changes to his content without really doing a damn thing differently. As he has done his entire career, he will continue to do the minimum while taking credit for much more, and he won't really change a damn thing until it's too late to make a difference.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Ok for real, if Phil has done anything to describe Kat, it’s that she’s pretty worthless. He does a pretty bad job of making his wife look good. We’re talking about a women with a supposed full-time job that isn’t able to help Phil with his bills and is only good for *sometimes* cooking. Aside from that, all she does is play video games watch TV, and run “errands” with Phil.

There was also a stream once where he left his camera on accidentally, this wasn’t too long ago, but he just stares at his PC and furiously bites his nails while shaking his leg uncontrollably. Guy is a nervous wreck. Kind of makes you wonder wtf he’s actually like.

We know Phil lies about everything, which is why it's strange to me how quickly he dropped the swimsuit model soulmaid shit with Catherine. He could be saying anything about her, and how would we know differently? Catherine is one thing left about Phil that is interesting to try understanding, and we get so little.

The few times Phil has left his stream on, he does nothing but sit there and autistically read through all the comments shaking his leg in anxiety or plays on his phone probably reading comments or Twitter.

 

[Lord_Point]

BREAKING: man who can't prepare for his mortgage payments and yearly taxes calls airlines and microchip companies 'fucking idiots' for not preparing for 9/11 and a worldwide pandemic respectively.

Just design airplanes so they can't crash into buildings, OK? DSP has played enough games that don't let you crash airplanes into buildings to know it can be done. Also, if you dont have enough boats, build more boats, DUH! I would argue that if DSP can figure that out then anyone can. IN BEFORE there arnt enough people unloading the dicks, uhhhh just build somethat that increases the population cap, idiot, thats gaming 101.

 

[Serf 'n' TERF]

Am I right to assume that?

I don't recall there being any transfers made from Phil's account, only credits and debits. but I didn't look too closely either.

There were 1 or 2 transfers into his account, and not nominal amounts either ($1000+), but I expect this was either money from Kat or parents to pay for whatever grift he had going at the time.

Following on from that - why do people assume that Kat pays nothing towards food and utilities? Phil acts like he is the only one in the house to pay for anything because that's the grift. He wants you to memoryhole the fact that he lives in a two-income household. An example: Phil says that he needs $1000 to fix his shower but in reality it cost him $200, and him & Kat split the cost at $100 each.

 

[Lord_Point]

Phil isn't starting a full-blown legit podcast. His pre-streams are long as hell, and he does love to ramble, but there's a reason they're not the whole stream, and the rest of the time, unless something pokes him into ranting again, he's a dull affair. He has nothing to say unless his brain is itching to get some stupid shit out there, and he so vehemently hates the idea of admitting that drama is the only thing he can use to draw in more view and dollars, that that alone would prevent him from simply turning on the camera and streaming himself reacting angrily to whatever he can find on the internet.

Speaking of reaction vids, Phil can't afford to go that route either because he knows damn well that 1) he's too boring unless he's mad, and 2) it's only a matter of time before he shits on the wrong YouTuber, who gets wind of it, and has no idea that they're retaliating against someone so irrelevant, proceeding to destroy him utterly. There's a reason he keeps @ing nice folks like Max Dood, who he knows are just going to ignore him at worst.

No, he refers to his long pre-streams as a podcast merely because the complaints about their length irritate him, and he wants to shut that griping down. And he gets annoyed because that's one of his vices being criticized, requesting that he cut down on his pre-streams is like telling him to stop drinking so much, or stop playing Champions. He's going to get indignant every time, and eventually do something spiteful in retaliation. "You don't like my overly long ramblings? Well they're called a 'podcast' now! STFU! ACK ACK ACK!"

My hot take is that Dave is going to eventually rip the audio off the podcast section of his youtube videos and upload the audio files to Spotify. Then hes going to go on weird flexes about how hes the most prolific podcaster and he has a whole media empire! He has live videos, on demand vidoes, and audio only of those videos! Oh, and some website. Thats 4 things!

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

1) The regular stipends keep coming from the likes of 1MM and PlanetJeff.
2) REDACTED keeps pumping the channel full of botted members.

And any mature adult with a business degree can see that this is not a sustainable business model.

All of these knee-jerk changes, which should've been made 5+ years ago, are just an effort to expand his outreach to try and develop a more legitimate fanbase. Could it really be that our PPB is finally thinking of long-term financial stability ? No... Surely not...

I still think there is a fair chance that 1MM/Silent Bob/Planet dead wife is the same person.

I agree that there is a chance that reality has to some extent broken through the gin haze, and made him realise that he needs to make changes.

But as you, me and anyone else that has followed Phil for some time know, Phil has the long term planning ability of a hungry golden retriever stocking up for the winter. Combining that with monumental stupidity, extreme laziness and his massive yet fragile ego and we get what we see now.

If he somehow could pull in fresh people 99% would get the fuck out very fast, he can't replace the 50 bit bitches at anywhere near the rate he is loosing them. It might be dawning on him that he needs the 50BB as going by @Piece of Peace latest monthly breakdown things are not moving in a positive direction with relying so heavily on whales.

What Dave needs is a bunch of new 50BB but that is not something he is able to do given how big of a tard he is, or 1-2 new whales and that is not something he in any way can control as they turn up and go away on their own. And even the finest Kiwi autists scientists haven't been able to crack the migration pattern of the elusive money whale (yet)

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

Following on from that - why do people assume that Kat pays nothing towards food and utilities? Phil acts like he is the only one in the house to pay for anything because that's the grift. He wants you to memoryhole the fact that he lives in a two-income household. An example: Phil says that he needs $1000 to fix his shower but in reality it cost him $200, and him & Kat split the cost at $100 each.

Fair. Probably an artifact from Leanna. Phil letting Leanna earn a living for herself was the poison pill that drove her off. One would expect that Phil sought to replicate the ideal dynamic he and Leanna had, and that'd include her not being exposed to the bitterness a 40 hour work week naturally predisposes one towards Phil.

But we all tend to forget Leanna isn't Khet. Khet is already a damaged thirty something, not a fresh pony waiting for grooming.

 

[Lady Adjani]

I don't recall there being any transfers made from Phil's account, only credits and debits. but I didn't look too closely either.

There were 1 or 2 transfers into his account, and not nominal amounts either ($1000+), but I expect this was either money from Kat or parents to pay for whatever grift he had going at the time.

Following on from that - why do people assume that Kat pays nothing towards food and utilities? Phil acts like he is the only one in the house to pay for anything because that's the grift. He wants you to memoryhole the fact that he lives in a two-income household. An example: Phil says that he needs $1000 to fix his shower but in reality it cost him $200, and him & Kat split the cost at $100 each.

She works part-time at a grocery store, isn't paying off a student loan, doesn't own a car and it's safe to assume Dave covers the necessities (water, electrical, mortgage) . She could barely afford to finance their monthly intake of door-dashed food.

Plus, I find it far more likely that Philip is footing most of the bills, not because he has to, but because he needs to in order to give her a good enough reason to stay at Casa de la Gout. Her being completely dependent on him is exactly what he wants.

 

[Iron Hamster]

Someone should go see if he settled his Midfirst debt yet. Something he is amazingly quiet about after taking that huge L

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

King of Semantics, Ambassador of Gaslighting, and Master of Retconning calling a prestream a podcast is funny. So lazy for actually shortening the fact his prestreams are long and people hate them because he himself said hes a videogame streamer. So this lazy fuck is trying to chop up his "raw" live stream content into actual chunks of segments and it's a total mess. A kindergartners art piece of macaroni, glitter, and buttons glued to paper.

So instead of being like, yeah they are long, it's that they are long because they are a podcast! Yeah! Most podcasts are long like that! Just give it a title and everything changes except it doesn't. They will always be prestreams since podcasts are actually interesting. Most podcasts I've listened too I could see myself there in the conversation and make me think. Phil's "podcasts" just make me wish I wasn't there.