The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Subtlety]

Those horses might just be old. Sometimes people move their horses to a proper retirement farm (people will sometimes be willing to take on a spare horse or two for friends, like my family does).

But I've heard through the grapevine that sometimes people will move their old horses in the hopes that the horse dies on someone else's land, therefore someone else's problem. We've had that happen, but on accident. Boarding someone's half a dozen horses, including a beloved 30-something horse who after only a day passed away just from the sheer stress. We had to do the burial. My dad was suspicious but seeing as the owners were very apologetic and we've continued to do business with them, I'm sure it was just one of those small tragedies.

But there are very shrewd people out there that take advantage of charity, and we know that other alpaca farms are desperate to find a place for the expensive animals, so to see a malnourished horse show up at the Tranch makes me suspicious. Which means hopefully we'll get some comedy out of it because a properly-ran farm can take care of all sorts of animals, and has the equipment (and fortitude!) to bury an animal.

The Tranchers seem to be more the type to let the coyotes do all the work while pretending not the smell the horse rot.

 

[Oxyjen]

Do they actually have a backhoe? I haven’t seen one. They’ve been delivering corpses to a convenient wolf sanctuary apparently.

 

[AnOminous]

That horse is starving

And these evil freaks display their abuse of their animals in public. It's not like any of the morons who are their audience will notice.

I fucking hate these troon scum.

 

[Näkki]

And these evil freaks display their abuse of their animals in public. It's not like any of the morons who are their audience will notice.

I fucking hate these troon scum.

Not their horses, according to what they said. Of all the animal neglect, this one isn't on them.

 

[Bees in the marmalade]

What baffles me is that if I were sharing a photo of a horse in that state, I would feel the need to clarify that the horse is old or a rescue. You can visibly see the horse is in a bad way.

I think they're genuinely that clueless. They don't realise healthy animals shouldn't look like that and that this may reflect badly on them. But we've seen them shamelessly share photos of starving alpacas so I guess this shouldn't be surprising.

 

[John Flynt's Axe Wound]

Do they actually have a backhoe? I haven’t seen one.

Yes, Alyssa is back at the ranch.

 

[Brain Problems]

The Carny (2009 Remaster)

Provided to YouTube by BMG Rights Management (UK) LimitedThe Carny (2009 Remaster) · Nick Cave & The Bad SeedsYour Funeral... My Trial℗ 2009 Mute Records Ltd...

www.youtube.com

"The Bonnie"

Spoiler

And no-one saw the Bonnie go
And the weeks flew by
Until they saw the snow
And left his firearms behind
They were stored up on south east wall
And as the Tranch ignored the Alpaca's calls
With the first snow covering the bone-dry mountain plain
They shone, just so, upon the edge
Away, away, we're sad, they said

Shit-eater, Sky, Coyote, Gibes, the unpaid hands
There was not one among them that did not cast an eye behind
In the hope that the Bonnie would return to his own kind

The Bonnie left behind alpacas, all skin and bone
That he named "Kindness"
And it was shallow, unmarked graves
That that the old dams were laid
In the then frozen meadow

And it was the troons that were given the task of digging the ditch
And laying the dams' carcass in the ground
While boss Penny, waved his smoking pistol around
Saying, "The alpacas are dead meat"
"We can't afford to carry dead weight"
While the whole Tranch, standing about
Not making a sound
And turning to the troons perched on the enclosure gate
The boss says, "Bury this lump of crow bait"

And the snow came blasting down
Everybody running for their hovels
Tying all the canvas flaps down
The mangy dogs growling in their cages
The furries flapping and squawking in the round
The whole tranch reeking of wet beast
Wet beast and rotten, sodden hay
Freak and brute creation
All settled down and on with their day

The half dozen troons peering from the dome's hind
Neck says to Wedge, "We shoulda dugga deepa one"
Their grizzled faces like dying moons
Still dirty from the digging done
And Jerod, the eldest of the three, said
"I guess the Bonnie ain't gonna show"
And they were silent for a spell
Wishing they'd done a better job of burying 'pacas

And the troons looked at the plains
Run into the ground
The snow beat on the ridge and on the meadow
And on the mound
Until nothing was left, nothing left at all
Except the bodies of the Alpacas
That rose in time
To freeze upon the surface of the eaten soil

And a murder of crows did circle round
First one, then the others flapping blackly down
And the Bonnie's truck still sat upon the edge
Tilting slowly as the firm ground turned to sludge
And the snow it blasted down
And no-one saw the Bonnie go
I say it's funny how things go

 

[Old Fart]

Imagine the tranch being your last stop before the glue factory. grim.

I mean, it's Dachau before Sobibor. What knob lets his horses stay over on the Tranch?

 

[Another Sperg on the Net]

Those horses are definitely underfed, but their hooves look well cared for and the fur is just how they look in the winter when they get fluffy in cold climates.

 

[The Final Troondown]

The Carny (2009 Remaster)

Provided to YouTube by BMG Rights Management (UK) LimitedThe Carny (2009 Remaster) · Nick Cave & The Bad SeedsYour Funeral... My Trial℗ 2009 Mute Records Ltd...

www.youtube.com

"The Bonnie"

Spoiler

And no-one saw the Bonnie go
And the weeks flew by
Until they saw the snow
And left his firearms behind
They were stored up on south east wall
And as the Tranch ignored the Alpaca's calls
With the first snow covering the bone-dry mountain plain
They shone, just so, upon the edge
Away, away, we're sad, they said

Shit-eater, Sky, Coyote, Gibes, the unpaid hands
There was not one among them that did not cast an eye behind
In the hope that the Bonnie would return to his own kind

The Bonnie left behind alpacas, all skin and bone
That he named "Kindness"
And it was shallow, unmarked graves
That that the old dams were laid
In the then frozen meadow

And it was the troons that were given the task of digging the ditch
And laying the dams' carcass in the ground
While boss Penny, waved his smoking pistol around
Saying, "The alpacas are dead meat"
"We can't afford to carry dead weight"
While the whole Tranch, standing about
Not making a sound
And turning to the troons perched on the enclosure gate
The boss says, "Bury this lump of crow bait"

And the snow came blasting down
Everybody running for their hovels
Tying all the canvas flaps down
The mangy dogs growling in their cages
The furries flapping and squawking in the round
The whole tranch reeking of wet beast
Wet beast and rotten, sodden hay
Freak and brute creation
All settled down and on with their day

The half dozen troons peering from the dome's hind
Neck says to Wedge, "We shoulda dugga deepa one"
Their grizzled faces like dying moons
Still dirty from the digging done
And Jerod, the eldest of the three, said
"I guess the Bonnie ain't gonna show"
And they were silent for a spell
Wishing they'd done a better job of burying 'pacas

And the troons looked at the plains
Run into the ground
The snow beat on the ridge and on the meadow
And on the mound
Until nothing was left, nothing left at all
Except the bodies of the Alpacas
That rose in time
To freeze upon the surface of the eaten soil

And a murder of crows did circle round
First one, then the others flapping blackly down
And the Bonnie's truck still sat upon the edge
Tilting slowly as the firm ground turned to sludge
And the snow it blasted down
And no-one saw the Bonnie go
I say it's funny how things go

10/10

 

[mickey339]

Writing up the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch in youtube

Unfortunately kiwifarms is still about halfway down the third page of DuckDuckGo.

 

[Karen™]

Couple of Bonnie updates, in case some of you guys aren't following Alyssa/Kindness.

He and Alyssa left the Tranch, and he was upset that some people (presumably Penny and Sky) didn't apologize to him and his gf while they were there:

Semi-cryptic drama time!

View attachment 2773671
https://archive.vn/nInYW

View attachment 2773673

lol

EDIT: I'd like to point out that Boonie uses the word "people" when asking for Kindness apologies. I think we were right about Sky AND Penny saying some shit. Penny doesn't put up with bullshit and Alyssa is nothing but a walking pile of bullshit. Also, Penny has been quiet on Twitter.

Then he deleted his Twitter:

View attachment 2773776

 

[Friendly Futa]

The tranch is falling apart? No, what are you talking about, just look at silly pictures of cute alpacas and don't think about it. Everything's fine.

 

[kaien]

I recall an interesting documentary series by an English fellow named Adam Curtis, with the somewhat excessively hoity-toity title All Watched Over By Machines of Loving Grace. The first episode, "Love and Power," explores among other things why attempts at communal living almost always fail: because no matter how much the participants try to bullshit themselves about an equal distribution of power, someone is always going to try to be the more equal animal, especially when access to pussy enters the equation.

I now envision Bonnie and Kindness as a bipartite entity hollering WHO RUN BARTERTOWN.

 

[Kingfisher9000]

I created Kindness to split them up so I could have a guaranteed mole. After Boner moved out, I contacted Sky and gave him my terms.

So Kindness is basically Smurfette, makes sense.

 

[Weeb Slinger]

I recall an interesting documentary series by an English fellow named Adam Curtis, with the somewhat excessively hoity-toity title All Watched Over By Machines of Loving Grace. The first episode, "Love and Power," explores among other things why attempts at communal living almost always fail: because no matter how much the participants try to bullshit themselves about an equal distribution of power, someone is always going to try to be the more equal animal, especially when access to pussy enters the equation.

I now envision Bonnie and Kindness as a bipartite entity hollering WHO RUN BARTERTOWN.

An Adam Curtis documentary that earnestly tied the antics of lolcows into ebbs and flows in the geopolitical landscape would truly be a chin-stroking spectacle to behold. Watch it with your occasionally vegan girlfriend who will not shut up about Karl Marx.

CURTIS: "What the ranchers had failed to anticipate was that their Alpacas would adopt social principles that were contrary to their owners' vision for the future. Within minutes of the herd's arrival the animals instinctively organised themselves in a hierarchal group based around binary gender norms. All that the Rancher's could do was watch helplessly as the fires of revolution consumed their dream from the inside out.

Meanwhile, in Prague..."

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

View attachment 2769000View attachment 2769001
Those poor horses have seen some shit. Also I'm not a veterinarian but I don't think you should be able to see a horse's ribs like that.

I could give a shit about alpaca, but horses? These fucking subhumans.

 

[Miss Misery]

Those poor horses have seen some shit. Also I'm not a veterinarian but I don't think you should be able to see a horse's ribs like that.

That TAIL. I don't know anything about horses but the tail isn't supposed to look like a schizo homeless man's single dreadlock, right?

 

[Aunt Carol]

That TAIL. I don't know anything about horses but the tail isn't supposed to look like a schizo homeless man's single dreadlock, right?

I don't know anything about horses either, but that homeless mono-dread is properly called a "Polish plait."
Weirdly, that's not even an ethnic slur, just history.

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

I could give a shit about alpaca, but horses? These fucking subhumans.

I don't like horses but animal abuse of any kind hits me in the feels. I think, on a psychological level, it's because animals are dumb and have no agency. That puts them in this spot like they are children. These sociopaths don't care about animal or child abuse. Like most troons, they are just chasing the next big coom, no matter who it hurts.