Ethan Ralph the Food Connoisseur (and fashion expert) - Discuss gunt's food choices and shitty merch -- Surprise! The fat pig consumes a lot of food.

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He'll fit in a suit, he'll fit in toga but he'll never find fitting underwear. He is transitioning, slowly. He won't go straight MtF. He'll go metrosexual, and from there gradually toward his final form, whatever that might be. He started with womanly jewelry, and this "purse" lol that matches nothing he possesses. It'll force him to buy some thing to fit it with if he intends to carry it outside his car. Say what you will about Ralph, but inside he feels the pressure. He want's to jump out of his skin. And one way of alleviating that feeling temporarily is to change clothing style.Since he is a pig with poor no taste we should see some hilariously dumb and embarrassing outfits if he leaves his house at all, and stays out of jail.

Screenshot of the BTS of Tequila Sunrise on the anniversary of the Great Corn Harvest stream, August 2022.
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it’s fun to imagine how ralph would handle photos if he was as famous as he likes to act. like normal celebrities always get approached by people asking for photos, that’d terrify ralph cause he wouldn’t be able to fake his height in every single one. if ralph was a real celebrity he wouldn’t leave the house without abnormally high shoes
 
Funny thing is Ralph acting like spending 110 on a shirt and 60 on pants is noteworthy. Normal people spend more on pants and shirts every day just to not look like a walmart dreg; it is by no means a flex like Ethan thinks it is.
It’s average cost for very average clothing, but to Ethan Ralph is big ballin shit to brag about.

When you own no house, no car, no assets of any real note then bragging about your purse and boots like a hoodrat is the best you can do.

Seriously, if we had to guess what would Ralph’s most valuable asset be? Either his Gunt grease and bourbon stained used computer or his 50% stake in Ronnie’s Arkansas crack shack. Sad state of affairs for a 36 year old manlet.
 
Thread reminded me of this from 2019, he really ate this shit.

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fucking hell why the two banana slices? why the carton of milk likes hes a damned child? even if youre wanting chocolate peanut butter sandwich why not use a chocolate spread or a sort of chocolate coated peanut butter filling cake to dispense with the pretenses that this isnt just a makeshift cake, the fucking mess from loose m&m candies and tiny chocolate chips has got to be insane in fact its leaking in this very pic along with the peanut butter, the entire left side of the sandwich is nigh handleable from the fucking peanut butter somehow leaking off it like they just shoved all the stuff to the left displacing the butter spread.

the fucking chips themselves are entire superfluous as you already have chocolate and only serve to add another messier element to the sandwich and the two brown banana slices? why gunty? who would eat this, if i saw a kid make this id throw it away and make them a real sandwich that isnt complete and utter piss poor non-sense. your pallet if trash, your taste in overpriced namebrag china made garments is trash. how can you throw this rancid kiddy grade school shit on my fucking screen and say youre an expert or to be taken even somewhat seriously in anything ever?

when i was a kid even i saw how stupid the idea of this sandwich was. just get a fucking cake or a bit of chocolate sandwich spread you blithering gunted peaked-in-prekindergarten fuck. its not even fucking decent bread its white cakey fatty bread without the spark of flavor given by more savory types like rye or sourdough, you know theres an entire world of flavor besides ultra sweet concoctions a special ed kid would make right ralph?
 
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"Not only do T2D patients have both reduced muscle recovery and strength, they also start to lose muscle mass. In fact, the longer you have diabetes, the more muscle mass you tend to lose, especially in the legs (3).

InBody results for patients with T2D shows that lower body muscle mass is particularly low."

Source: https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/muscle-mass-diabetes/92582/

BEETUS GANG GANG LESSGOOOOO
 
Thread reminded me of this from 2019, he really ate this shit.

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This looks like rabbit faeces being disposited in various colours of paint and then slapped on the cheapest possible Walmart bread.

Why two slices of banana? This is actually disgusting. Might as well put a lemon wheel on top.
 
"Not only do T2D patients have both reduced muscle recovery and strength, they also start to lose muscle mass. In fact, the longer you have diabetes, the more muscle mass you tend to lose, especially in the legs (3).

InBody results for patients with T2D shows that lower body muscle mass is particularly low."

Source: https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/muscle-mass-diabetes/92582/

BEETUS GANG GANG LESSGOOOOO
He literally has legs like the size of a late-stage AIDS patient.
 
Funny thing is Ralph acting like spending 110 on a shirt and 60 on pants is noteworthy. Normal people spend more on pants and shirts every day just to not look like a walmart dreg; it is by no means a flex like Ethan thinks it is.
It's a flex when the majority of your few remaining fans look and dress like Davey Crocko.

Do you think Dingo is splurging on wearing Ralph Lauren shirts?
 
BEETUS GANG GANG LESSGOOOOO
More like legs go

A contribution from Vicious Vickers. Some fine ayylawgin there @MWV
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I never noticed how hard to tell it is if Riley punch connected I can't tell if he's so fucking fat Riley grazed his chunt folds protruding or if his Easter island mong head was hit directly from being such a dysgenic shape and composition
 
I never noticed how hard to tell it is if Riley punch connected I can't tell if he's so fucking fat Riley grazed his chunt folds protruding or if his Easter island mong head was hit directly from being such a dysgenic shape and composition
Are you watching on your phone?

You can clearly see that Riley has punched Ralph straight in his mouth and that clip is fucking hilarious.
 
Are you watching on your phone?

You can clearly see that Riley has punched Ralph straight in his mouth and that clip is fucking hilarious.

can you be sure it isn't another fatty pocket though
If you hit someone on the chin and their hat falls off, that's usually a decent punch.
 
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Eye opening moment for me when I realized that Gunt's obsession with manpurses isn't some bizarre wigger fashion fixation, but actually an accessibility device to compensate for how fat he is and how short his arms are. You can see with his arm rotated that he's no where near being able to reach his front pocket.

Even if you add several inches to accommodate perspective issues he might be able to reach it, but there's no way he could get his hand all the way inside to pull a wallet out. Most men ("real men", to use a Ralphism) keep their wallet in their back pocket and that would be even further out of reach. This also explains why Ralph's pants are sagging abnormally low in some photos/videos - he can't reach the waist to pull them up.

It makes you wonder how he manages to wipe his ass. Ralph has always had a woman around, whether it's Sandra or one of his she-beast girlfriends, he's never lived alone. It's definitely possible that he's reached Amberlynn levels of disability where he needs a dedicated ass wiper on hand to avoid getting a septic infection.
 
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Eye opening moment for me when I realized that Gunt's obsession with manpurses isn't some bizarre wigger fashion fixation, but actually an accessibility device to compensate for how fat he is and how short his arms are. You can see with his arm rotated that he's no where near being able to reach his front pocket.

Even if you add several inches to accommodate perspective issues he might be able to reach it, but there's no way he could get his hand all the way inside to pull a wallet out. Most men ("real men", to use a Ralphism) keep their wallet in their back pocket and that would be even further out of reach. This also explains why Ralph's pants are sagging abnormally low in some photos/videos - he can't reach the waist to pull them up.

It makes you wonder how he manages to wipe his ass. Ralph has always had a woman around, whether it's Sandra or one of his she-beast girlfriends, he's never lived alone. It's definitely possible that he's reached Amberlynn levels of disability where he needs a dedicated ass wiper on hand to avoid getting a septic infection.
He's so rotund, yet his legs are skinnier than an Auschwitz victim... wow
 
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