Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 257 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 194 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 782 56.7%

  • Total voters
    1,378
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Honestly a pat of butter and dashes of salt and pepper is usually all I do. If I feel fancy some chives help too.

Jack on the other hands wants all the fixins. I'm guessing he'd want cheese, bacon bits, bacon grease, salt, pepper, maybe chives... nahh green is bad. Green means bad mouthfeels.
I could explain to you why Jack's "cooking" is a violation of the Geneva Convention or the US Constitution but that would take hours and hours to write.
Just watch this video of Jack's worst crime so far. I present to you, Aunt Myrna's Party Cheese Salad. (Rumour has it that Aunt Myrna tested the recipe on Auschwitz inmates back in the day.)

These two gave it a fair shake and I think they tried to be fair to the recipe as it was. The cheese in their view killed it for them, but the lemon and other citrus in the pineapple is strong enough that it kind of masks the other items' flavor and their role is to provide different textures.

Reminds me of what I said a good while ago about that horrid thing: I think you could honestly make a couple of okay aspic ideas out of it. Like a Lemon-Pineapple-Celery-Nut thing sounds pretty nice actually.

Don't get me wrong; the texture is almost certainly why Deadwing Dork and the others retched like that. But I can actually kind of see the mad logic Aunt Myrna had... barring the fucking cheese.
 
Don't get me wrong; the texture is almost certainly why Deadwing Dork and the others retched like that. But I can actually kind of see the mad logic Aunt Myrna had... barring the fucking cheese.
Considering what a complete fuckup Jack is, it's possible his version of the dish doesn't have much resemblance to the original. For some reason, Mormons seem really into these bizarre Jell-O concoctions, some of which are actually pretty good.
 
These two gave it a fair shake and I think they tried to be fair to the recipe as it was. The cheese in their view killed it for them, but the lemon and other citrus in the pineapple is strong enough that it kind of masks the other items' flavor and their role is to provide different textures.

Reminds me of what I said a good while ago about that horrid thing: I think you could honestly make a couple of okay aspic ideas out of it. Like a Lemon-Pineapple-Celery-Nut thing sounds pretty nice actually.
Aspic food were a huge thing when I grew up in the 1970's and most of them were actually quite good. IMHO, Aunt Myrnas Party Cheese Salad modified and made by a real chef and not an imbecile like Jack would IMHO be edible, but as we all now, Jack has no palate and no clue what he is doing.
I'm sure Jack just eyeballed the ingredients and we all know how that usually ends when Jack does that.

OTOH, the 1960's and 1970's surely had some strange ideas. I gave it a try and it suprisingly tastes really good.
hotdrpepper.jpg
 
Teetotaler Jack confirms rum was in the Plum Pudding.

View attachment 2776469
Rum was still considered a form of currency in the US and Australia and an important part of the slave trade back in the 1800's. As such, most people wouldn't drink or bake with it, let alone the impoverished like the Cratchet's.

Yes, Scrooge was rich as fuck, but he didn't really splash out on the Cratchet's meal either. Roast goose was the protein of choice for lower-middle class families and would have cost Bob roughly a week's salary (with the goose, pudding, and oranges).

Brandy was in a more plentiful supply and within budget of most people in Victorian London, and would most likely be used as a hard sauce in comparison to rum.

Another thing that irks me is Jack icing the pudding. You're supposed to take a small spoonful of the sauce and let it melt over the hot pudding. It's butter. Let it melt.
 
Theory: Jack will have his third and final stroke while filming one of his abortion videos. It won't go unreleased though. Tammy will upload it after editing in a jump cut of herself in front of the camera, crying tears of joy that it's over.
The final upload to his channel will be something like this one, but with Tammy eating a plate of garbage in Jacks honor.
 
Yes, Scrooge was rich as fuck, but he didn't really splash out on the Cratchet's meal either. Roast goose was the protein of choice for lower-middle class families and would have cost Bob roughly a week's salary (with the goose, pudding, and oranges).
Mrs. Cratchet would have had a Christmas account with the local butcher and every week or so she'd go in and give them a couple pennies or pence or whatever. By the end of the year she had given them enough to get a Christmas basket which would have had in it everything they needed for Christmas. The Victorians were serious about their Christmas celebrations and the idea of not having a decent spread was unthinkable.

But yeah. The end result would have been maybe a week or two salary from Bob.

Jello things were huge back then. But you have to remember that going as far back as the 50's you could see Jello salads being advertised in women's magazines. And considering that they had flavors like celery, tomato and something called "Italian Salad" seems to work for what would be a savory dish. It's only later on like in the 80's that those types of flavors were gone and they just shifted to sweet flavors.
 
Aspic food were a huge thing when I grew up in the 1970's and most of them were actually quite good. IMHO, Aunt Myrnas Party Cheese Salad modified and made by a real chef and not an imbecile like Jack would IMHO be edible, but as we all now, Jack has no palate and no clue what he is doing.
I'm sure Jack just eyeballed the ingredients and we all know how that usually ends when Jack does that.

OTOH, the 1960's and 1970's surely had some strange ideas. I gave it a try and it suprisingly tastes really good.
View attachment 2776732
Aunt Myrna's Party Cheese Salad was her trying to make Ambrosia from a cookbook but the pages were stuck together, à la Rachel's trifle.

Hot Dr Pepper with lemon is something I've been wanting to try but have put it off for years because I always forget. IMO, room temperature Dr Pepper is already better than a cold Dr Pepper.
 
Hot Dr Pepper with lemon is something I've been wanting to try but have put it off for years because I always forget. IMO, room temperature Dr Pepper is already better than a cold Dr Pepper.
Dr Pepper is the only soda I can drink if it's not cold. Ever tried a room temperature Pepsi or even worse a 7-Up? Don't.
 
The final upload to his channel will be something like this one, but with Tammy eating a plate of garbage in Jacks honor.
Nah, we’ll most likely notice a silence on Jack’s channel/Facebook before seeing her make an RIP post and photo tribute via Instagram (probably with a few days’ delay as she works through the final arrangements). I doubt she’ll care enough at that point to go through the trouble of filming a video, and it’s not like she enjoys being on camera anyway.
 
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