Times when you have felt genuinely sorry for Chris

That is the one thing from Chris's early life that I want to know more about. My personal theory was that Chris went absolutely ballistic in class, screaming obscenities and was uncontrollable, saying things no kid his age should say. Hence the need to record him. The school district makes it's recommendation to the Grafton School (which is actually an exceptionally good school), and then Chris's parents go nuts.

He probably screamed but probably didn't use foul langauge. Early Chris thought that cussing was bad. Gosh dang darn it.
 
In all honesty, it would be his entire life as a whole. His upbringing doomed him which was further cemented by his trolls to become the creature we gawk at today. The blue spike saga made me cringe in ways i never thought feasible. In another life had his parents actually did their job as parents instead of coddling him and reinforcing some fucked up dynamics, Chris could have been a socially awkward but otherwise functional and imaginative adult....

Is what I would still feel if he didn't rape his mom. No matter how fucked up you are, there is no way to justify that and any pity I may have once had is gone for chris.
 
  • DRINK!
Reactions: PhoBingas
I never have felt sorry for this piece of shit scum, except for when BlueSpike encouraged him to shove a medallion up his ass, the Idea Guys brainwashing him and Isabella encouraging him to rape him Barb. Other than that Chris pretty much deserves everything that happened to him (including now).
 
That is the one thing from Chris's early life that I want to know more about. My personal theory was that Chris went absolutely ballistic in class, screaming obscenities and was uncontrollable, saying things no kid his age should say. Hence the need to record him. The school district makes it's recommendation to the Grafton School (which is actually an exceptionally good school), and then Chris's parents go nuts.

The "conspiracy" part probably comes from this all leaking out into the community. Ruckersville was pretty small back then and certainly without their big box stores in the area, so I assume Chris and his parents ran into people gossiping about them being bad parents and Chris being out of control. He was told that the reason was because the school and town didn't "understand" autism, despite there already being autistic students, but more as a cope. That would probably be why he was talking about how alone he was.

The only thing I don't understand is his claim that realtors had somehow manipulated the market to keep them from selling the house. The only thing I can come up with is that Bob or Barb wanted some outrageous sum for it. It was built in a new development, and they bought into the hype about it being such a wonderful new community and how the property values would be going to the moon. A realtor told them the actual price would be much lower, and they chimped out, called another realtor and got told the same thing. Suddenly the realtors are all in a conspiracy to keep the Chandlers from selling their house, because they hate the family so much, so they work hard in order to... keep... them... in town?
Chris always looks at his time before PVCC, especially at Manchester High, fondly, so I think he was probably more or less well-behaved back then. He probably got in trouble a decent amount for acting like a re-re, but his overall experience was good. He blames graduating from Manchester High as the start of his troubles to the point where he anthropomorphized graduating from high school in Count Graduon, the main villain of the Sonichu series last I checked. It wasn't until PVCC when he really started getting in trouble, probably because college is when you're expected to start acting somewhat like an adult.

All that shit about a citywide conspiracy is just standard bad parent cope. They raised a piece of shit kid and earned a reputation as the hick family nobody likes, and they responded by accusing the entire world of plotting against them. To do anything else would require some degree of introspection and personal responsibility, and the Chandler family has never once taken any interest in either of those things.
 
Absolutely. One that I know IRL is extremely dedicated to work and will do hard labor jobs that many people would not be willing to do. You need help with something and he is always happy to help. Most autistic people I've known, of the type that have significant social issues and inability to read other people's moods and emotions, are not at all unable to work. They may not be suited for certain kinds of work like customer service, where the inability to read people can impair the work they do, but they can still work. There was what Chris would call a "slow in the mind" who bagged groceries at a local store here years back and while you could obviously tell he wasn't quite all there, he was always friendly, understood what he needed to do for his job, and seemed happy to have the company of others. More reserved autistic types are often found in non-social positions like being programmers, but again, they still seem to want and enjoy having something to do that is useful and engaging. Chris has never once shown a desire to do something outside of the house, and it's honestly astonishing since there have been times where I myself have been out of work and found it maddening not to have something to keep occupied with. Normal people generally get bored with having nothing to do but play video games and tweet, but terminally online mental cases like Chris love it.

And yeah I brought up the Kacey Dad call too, it's super telling of how not only did Chris have nothing to offer but he couldn't even pretend like he did. Whoever was playing the dad (I assume one of the Liquid twins?) really knew the right questions to throw at him and how to press his buttons. It was still trolling, but I also feel like to some degree they were trying to force him to realize why his Love Quest was failing. It just was totally lost on Chris's dense, smug ass.
Mentally slow people aren't useless hunks of meat. There's a documentary about retards running hotels and an entire village with suitable supervision. As long as you can keep them from starting drama with each other they're fine manual labor.

Chris doesn't stand up for himself in situations like that. He takes the abuse and apologies for himself. Snorlax probably got him trained that way so he never fights back when she abused him verbally. It's easier for autistic people to assume they did something wrong without knowing than try to fight back when they're being bullied.
 
Chris always looks at his time before PVCC, especially at Manchester High, fondly, so I think he was probably more or less well-behaved back then. He probably got in trouble a decent amount for acting like a re-re, but his overall experience was good. He blames graduating from Manchester High as the start of his troubles to the point where he anthropomorphized graduating from high school in Count Graduon, the main villain of the Sonichu series last I checked. It wasn't until PVCC when he really started getting in trouble, probably because college is when you're expected to start acting somewhat like an adult.

I'd say you're on the money about that, for the most part. Chris running off and crying after getting his diploma was so unusual that paid BFF Tiffany Gowen actually went looking to console him, going beyond the call of duty. I always thought it was B.S. that Sarah Hammer got the Sonichu self-insert when she was nothing but a childhood bully whereas TG got the cringe Carey Fanfic. I think if there is one constant in Chris' life is that he treats the girls who are nice to him like shit (Tiffany, Megan, and the troll Ivy) but treats the girls who are mean or exploit him (Sarah Hammer, PandaHalo, and Kacey) with reverence. It's a tale as old as time I guess, but it's not even like there is some rationale like the girls who were nice to him were ugly/fat and the ones who were mean were hot.

Anyway back on subject, the only other time Chris acted up when prior to PVCC was the bus incident where he may have punched a niggo for cutting in line/legitimately got into a fight (depending on the version of events) and the big reee that was Song of Christian.

Chris was content with just hanging around in the back, playing vidya, while life passed by him which minimized the inter-social conflict. When he was forced to go out into the world, he was so unsocialized that he couldn't help but get himself into trouble. Like Chris I sometimes wonder what life would have been like had he been born female, where socializing is easier, but then I think about it and realize Chris would probably be just some fat bitch with a few illegitimate children from different fathers, wishing she could go back her HS days where she was single and could draw Sonichu.

Count Graduon is probably the only some what clever part of sonichu.

I don't know, I think it's interesting maybe from a psychological level but as a villain it's not too original. I think a few others like 4chan being a office where people shitpost all day and then clock off by passing out drunk is pretty clever. In the same episode where Sonichu sees his rule 34 and thinks it's photographs only to be scolded by Rosechu is also kind of clever too. Even the general motivation of the villains in trying to prevent people from being laid, or slandering Chris-chan on the interwebs is funny as it's comically mundane and ridiculous.

Lest I remind everyone as well that the cleverest thing written in Sonichu is that Reldnahc states in their final confrontation that the difference between himself and Chris is that Reldnach is OPEN about his homosexuality, not that he is a homosexual and Chris is not.
 
Honestly, I feel sorry for CWC now. He's a monster and he's exactly where he needs to be, but I don't really find any joy in the fact that he's in jail for raping his Mom. Part me hoped for a silver lining where being locked in a box and cut off from everything would force him to finally perform some meaningful self-evaluation about the state of his life, but that was always a pipe dream. Just a shitty situation all around.
 
Like Chris I sometimes wonder what life would have been like had he been born female, where socializing is easier, but then I think about it and realize Chris would probably be just some fat bitch with a few illegitimate children from different fathers, wishing she could go back her HS days where she was single and could draw Sonichu.

Here's the thing. Female Chris might have been unhappy, but she would be far, FAR less isolated than duck-wielding Chris is now. When you're a teenage girl, even if you're fat (and teenage Chris was chubby but not morbidly obese), a big chunk of the world still wants to fuck you. She might have had dalliances with older men in high school, or if she was sufficiently protected she would've immediately turned into a megawhore in college. Girls don't need attraction signs.

As negative as this outcome would have been, it would still be better than what Chris experienced. Girl Chris would have many thousands of hours of unpaid social interaction. She would have been able to go out and socialize and meet people who actively put in an effort to spend time with her -- something that male Chris always wanted but never received. Even if she was a tard, she would have had the experiences a lot of normal people take for granted and would have at least been better integrated into society by the virtue of her possessing china.

Girls with autism receive far less diagnoses because they receive far better socialization than boys do and generally cope better because of it -- because girls are automatically treated better in social situations. Female Chris might still have been a train wreck, but she wouldn't have been the 9/11 that Chris became.

Middle-aged autistic female Chris would still have problems, her looks would have faded and men would no longer invite her out to parties, but in her earlier years she'd have learned social skills that male Chris never did. She'd be far, far better at dealing with the world. She might've even landed a husband and turned into a Snorlax, birthing a future Christian.
 
Last edited:
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Bent_Duck

When I watch this video I feel sorry for Chris. From obese go happy clownish manchild to rapist version of Buffalo Bill who thinks he's a Goddess.

It's just sad.
What makes this 100 times more disturbing is that the preview PIC is from him dancing. Why Does Chris squeeze his eyes shut when concentrating?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Bent_Duck
Here's the thing. Female Chris might have been unhappy, but she would be far, FAR less isolated than duck-wielding Chris is now. When you're a teenage girl, even if you're fat (and teenage Chris was chubby but not morbidly obese), a big chunk of the world still wants to fuck you. She might have had dalliances with older men in high school, or if she was sufficiently protected she would've immediately turned into a megawhore in college. Girls don't need attraction signs.

As negative as this outcome would have been, it would still be better than what Chris experienced. Girl Chris would have many thousands of hours of unpaid social interaction. She would have been able to go out and socialize and meet people who actively put in an effort to spend time with her -- something that male Chris always wanted but never received. Even if she was a tard, she would have had the experiences a lot of normal people take for granted and would have at least been better integrated into society by the virtue of her possessing china.

Girls with autism receive far less diagnoses because they receive far better socialization than boys do and generally cope better because of it -- because girls are automatically treated better in social situations. Female Chris might still have been a train wreck, but she wouldn't have been the 9/11 that Chris became.

Middle-aged autistic female Chris would still have problems, her looks would have faded and men would no longer invite her out to parties, but in her earlier years she'd have learned social skills that male Chris never did. She'd be far, far better at dealing with the world. She might've even landed a husband and turned into a Snorlax, birthing a future Christian.

I think that's the most optimistic scenario. I agree that Crystal here wouldn't need to go on any "love quest" but is pretty damn stupid and would probably fuck up her life anyway. I can easily imagine a 40 year old female Chris Chan, with illegitimate kids living off the dole Bob set up for her, recieving child support, still becoming a tranny and talking about Sonichu and cats. Hell I see a lot of "normal" women like that all over the place on the internet these days from videos.

Here's how I imagine it would play out in accordance to Chris' male life experience just for fun:

- Manchester High has FC being friends with the gal pals outside of school but is still far more engrossed in gaming, tv and Sonichu to do anything other than go out to eat. The other girls have very little in common and generally leave FC to her cave. Sonichu is still created however it's possible Bionic is not (due to the connection to being a water boy being replaced by friend experiences of going to the mall). Bob goes to prom instead of Barb, FC dances with the girls a bit in a less one on one way though. Being uncomfortable with the social experience though still doesn't result in any shell breaking and FC spends most of prom sitting down. FC crying after not getting the art award still occurs and recieves greater sympathy for it.

- The prophecy of literally birthing Crystal still occurs, though the love quest never does meaning Anna is never met and the Hannah story never occurs. Mary Lee Walsh never gets into conflict with FC. Instead FC gets plowed by 1 or more guys, left heartbroken and concepts such as the "Heart Level" are emphasized in the comic, and men become more of a concern than homos. Perhaps FC maintains the JERKs concepts and blames all women for taking the good men. Wes Iseli and Nicole Hammer's roles may be reversed.

- Sonichu right now is a story about a lovelorne FC who can't meet a nice guy. Graduon still exists but MLW's role may be filled by an ex-boyfriend or even her child. A conspiracy grows about keeping FC from finding a true understanding man who will love her for who she is, is rich and doesn't mind raising her child.

- FC still spergs out about losing the Chop Master contest but never ruins her friendship with Megan at least not fully. Megan may be a rival of some sort in the comic once Megan finds success with guys. FC's GameStop days may meet father number 2 or 3.

- Shecameforcwc doesn't occur, though the ED discovery and mockery probably still will. It's possible something on a smaller scale might occur due to Chris' love of drawing porn of his own characters and himself.

- The trolling sagas are a little more miserable because instead of a cabal of trolls becoming joke villains and fake e-girlfriends, it's more likely the trolls will be more mean and critical. FC would be an oddity that weens may mess with but a more tragic one. Some would seethe that FC's a grown woman acting like a child while being a child factory and refusing to change. Others would find her disgusting. So while the sagas wouldn't occur as they did and this period would be entirely unrecognizable, the Criticism would be more harsh than funny.

- Sonichu would become a more personal story. While FC laments the freedom of her high school youth, she'd rail against the men who left her and the comic would include ex-bfs instead of trolls. It would end up being some sort of weird, feminist story about men being drugged to act more feminine or outright enslaved as a power fantasy. It would cease to become funny.

- FC's obsession with both sex and Sonichu would inevitably end, years later, in being involved in the intersectionality crowd and probably become some sort of weird transman. The belief that men have it easy, with no responsibilities and that she'd be "just like Christian Grey" if she were born a man. No Idea Guys to fuck with her state of mind, though she'd probably end up in jail for child abuse instead of rape.

So I guess you could say it's technically better, but I still see a trainwreck and at least it was one that was funny to watch. I don't know if women think fat single mom's who play vidya, cut their hair short and believe they're men while being pissed at other women for taking real men away from them is as funny as what we got with Chris but I doubt it. The type of woman Chris would become if he were born a woman is almost everywhere today. I can't even imagine what it must be like to be a Zoomer guy today and trying to find a normal girlfriend.


What makes this 100 times more disturbing is that the preview PIC is from him dancing. Why Does Chris squeeze his eyes shut when concentrating?

To help him imagine he is anywhere but 14 branchland court probably.
 
Back