Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[stets]

Shazam said the music is:

Ratatouille's Kitchen by Carmen María & Edu Espinal

Edit: link to YouTube

But why does the music sound like it was recorded playing over the speakers in a dead mall food court? The audio mix is just so off. You can figure out how to properly add background music to a video by watching a five minute youtube tutorial. It literally sounds like he found the music on his phone, played it from the phone speakers, recorded the music with his webcam microphone, and mixed in that version of the audio.

He’s just so actively bad at this. My rational brain just absolutely cannot understand how someone that’s been doing this for over a decade manages to get worse at it instead of incrementally better. Cooking with Jack is like the YouTube version of Sonichu - just when you think it can’t possibly get worse, you get a nice little surprise.

Edit: I listened to the raw audio. Part of the problem is that he picked a shitty song. It literally sounds like two crack babies with Down’s syndrome recorded some shitty bossa nova song with a potato.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I wonder how long it would take to mind break Jack into becoming a troon.

What is it with people wanting to make every lolcow a troon, that is just fucking gay

 

[feral cat #6385]

What is it with people wanting to make every lolcow a troon, that is just fucking gay

It's a natural progression for a cow. Like how they used to jump sharks on TV shows.

I think it will happen when Jack Jr. comes out.

 

[Adamska]

But why does the music sound like it was recorded playing over the speakers in a dead mall food court? The audio mix is just so off. You can figure out how to properly add background music to a video by watching a five minute youtube tutorial. It literally sounds like he found the music on his phone, played it from the phone speakers, recorded the music with his webcam microphone, and mixed in that version of the audio.

He’s just so actively bad at this. My rational brain just absolutely cannot understand how someone that’s been doing this for over a decade manages to get worse at it instead of incrementally better. Cooking with Jack is like the YouTube version of Sonichu - just when you think it can’t possibly get worse, you get a nice little surprise.

Edit: I listened to the raw audio. Part of the problem is that he picked a shitty song. It literally sounds like two crack babies with Down’s syndrome recorded some shitty bossa nova song with a potato.

It's more stupid when you remember this fat homo used to be a DJ. He somehow is unable to do basic bitch audio balancing despite over 20- 25 years of "experience".

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

I wonder how long it would take to mind break Jack into becoming a troon.

And then we'll roll him up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge!

Oh, next lets dig up Patti's remains from 14 Branchland Court and break into Jack Jr's apartment and hide her in the walls. He'll get such a surprise the next time he punches a hole in the wall!

 

[the khat quaffer]

But why does the music sound like it was recorded playing over the speakers in a dead mall food court? The audio mix is just so off. You can figure out how to properly add background music to a video by watching a five minute youtube tutorial. It literally sounds like he found the music on his phone, played it from the phone speakers, recorded the music with his webcam microphone, and mixed in that version of the audio.

He’s just so actively bad at this. My rational brain just absolutely cannot understand how someone that’s been doing this for over a decade manages to get worse at it instead of incrementally better. Cooking with Jack is like the YouTube version of Sonichu - just when you think it can’t possibly get worse, you get a nice little surprise.

Edit: I listened to the raw audio. Part of the problem is that he picked a shitty song. It literally sounds like two crack babies with Down’s syndrome recorded some shitty bossa nova song with a potato.

I have inside info on his audio setup.



He stuck his phone in one of these and put music on speaker.

Spoiler: For the uninitiated

a popular pastime of nearly everyone in the service industry near closing time is to take a metal container, typically the one on the left, and put your phone in there and put music on speaker to take advantage of the acoustics and make basically a hillbilly stereo system for the entire kitchen.

Honestly the music reminds me of the music from that bizarro mini series helvetica standard from the anime Nichijou.

I'll put my best foot forward for Jack and say that it does look like he put a lot of effort into the decorations in the background. The red ribbons over the cabinet doors are an interesting, welcome touch. He seems a little eager for once. Now I'm going to be cynical for a bit and say that the sign behind him that says I Came I Saw I Jingled should be replaced with one that says I Ate, I Stroked, I Ate Some More.

 

[ZipDisk]

Holy fuck, I was going to call Duck Guy a fucking casual for being back in the green kitchen era, but JACK STOLE THE IDEA!

He said that he's "never done this before" implying he stole this off a website. Be interesting to see what the original recipe was. I'm guessing the bags are a pre-prep thing? Like the egg is never meant to be in the bag.

But then he says you burp the bag, implying you DO cook this shit in a ziplock.

There are still shades of horror in classic jack!

 

[Charlie Delicious]

I take offense that Jack thinks himself a "foodie".

You're not a foodie, Jack. You're an Eatie.

 

[Super Hans]

Holy fuck, I was going to call Duck Guy a fucking casual for being back in the green kitchen era, but JACK STOLE THE IDEA!

He said that he's "never done this before" implying he stole this off a website. Be interesting to see what the original recipe was. I'm guessing the bags are a pre-prep thing? Like the egg is never meant to be in the bag.

But then he says you burp the bag, implying you DO cook this shit in a ziplock.

There are still shades of horror in classic jack!

When this vid brought up in the past, somebody mentioned bagged omelettes are a thing for group camping trips, like church outings. Everybody takes a couple eggs and fills the bag up with whatever shit they want and through them in a big pot, eat out of the bag with plastic utensils and just trash everything when done.

Fuck if I know why somebody would think this is a good idea for anything but that one very specific instance. Hasn't Jack mentioned in the past microwaving stuff in Ziploc bags before? Maybe Jack is trying to get cancer so all the haters get owned because it wasn't the morbid obesity that did him in.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Lol

 

[ZipDisk]

Jack loves eating microwaved plastic, I don't have a specific link, but he always whines about burning himself pulling food out.

He does not wait. As soon as ding, it's time to eat.

 

[captkrisma]

He’s putting his future live streams in the Facebook groups only (if I’m to believe the lower third)? Are we going to have to make burner Facebook accounts now?

I would if only to showcase the change in viewer counts. He easily broke the 100 viewer mark on YouTube, even mentioning that's usually when the trolls waltz in.

Holy shit, I didn’t know Kerrygold Butter in a container that size. Shop at Sam’s Club, much Jack?

Yeah...checked it out, and at Sam's Club they sell 24oz of it for under $10. Jack just bought more expensive butter just to overhype it. Fun fact: Kerrygold has a higher fat content than traditional stick butter, so we know why Fatty Doo Doo here raves about it.

 

[rubytintedchix]

I would if only to showcase the change in viewer counts. He easily broke the 100 viewer mark on YouTube, even mentioning that's usually when the trolls waltz in.

Yeah...checked it out, and at Sam's Club they sell 24oz of it for under $10. Jack just bought more expensive butter just to overhype it. Fun fact: Kerrygold has a higher fat content than traditional stick butter, so we know why Fatty Doo Doo here raves about it.

I’ve seen in the supermarkets around here you can get locally sourced rolled butter. Wegmans has its own fancy butter section. It perplexes me why he would choose Kerrygold. Those mashed potatoes didn’t even look creamy or buttery. The looked like wallpaper paste. Poor representation of the brand even if the butter isn’t top rated.

 

[Schmuck of Ages]

I’ve seen in the supermarkets around here you can get locally sourced rolled butter. Wegmans has its own fancy butter section. It perplexes me why he would choose Kerrygold. Those mashed potatoes didn’t even look creamy or buttery. The looked like wallpaper paste. Poor representation of the brand even if the butter isn’t top rated.

Plus most mid-tier grocery chains have Challenge Butter which is a cultured butter that kicks Kerrygold's ass.

 

[Wendell Stamps]

My rational brain just absolutely cannot understand how someone that’s been doing this for over a decade manages to get worse at it instead of incrementally better

Well, Jack doesn’t have much of a functional one left so.

 

[Miss Misery]

How Kerrygold Butter Became a Cult Favorite in America

The yellow-hued, gold-wrapped Irish export is a favorite in kitchens across the U.S.

www.eater.com

 

[Quixotic Man]

Most American butter is absolutely flavorless dog shit. A watery mess with low butterfat content. A product produced very cheaply and to be absolutely consistently mediocre.

Its amazing how when I spent some time in Paris how much better the butter I was buying down the street at the market was. Higher butterfat does make butter better. Kerrygold is definitely a step up from Land O' Lakes or Store Brand, but it isn't some super high quality special product.

 

[RL Steinbeck]

Our boy Rob on that two-arm flex

First snow shoveling of the season

Quick video of me shoveling the first snow of the year. This was nice and fluffy. Perfect shoveling snow.

youtu.be

 

[Adamska]

I’ve seen in the supermarkets around here you can get locally sourced rolled butter. Wegmans has its own fancy butter section. It perplexes me why he would choose Kerrygold. Those mashed potatoes didn’t even look creamy or buttery. The looked like wallpaper paste. Poor representation of the brand even if the butter isn’t top rated.

Yeah, it's because Jack hotstarted the potatoes (seriously, you visibly see steam coming from the water when he pours it in) and had them on full boil. You coldstart them, and then simmer for most of the time before a brief light boil. Then you mash as you do since otherwise you get gluiness and raw bits.

Alternatively ricer them for consistency without overworking the potatoes.

 

[ZipDisk]

DOUBLE DUKES ROB!