Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Twrx]

L Ron Hubbard is more likely to be right regarding theatens, than the freak ever getting a apartment again. That said, I'd love to watch first hand of him attempting to be a vegan.

 

[Czolg]

So, I’ve been wondering for a while, because of this very reason, if Lucas isn’t a virgin still. Like no man who has had successful penis in vagina sex with a woman says stuff like ”I need clit on my dick.” It just doesn’t make sense.

Yes, okay, we know about Suzanne. But do we think maybe they dated and never had sex? The one photo we have of her, she’s shaving him. We know they had a nurturing relationship.

I get if you think I’m dumb and disagree, but think about this: has Lucas ever shown any correct insight as to what a woman thinks, wants, or feels? That is something that perhaps one might garner after some time spent and intimacy shared with the opposite sex.

Well, as far as I know, the only source that confirms that Lucas had sex with Suzanne is Lucas himself and we all know how reliable he is.

 

[Club Sandwich]

View attachment 2791326

he doesn't even remember the cringe worthy DARE secondary school curriculum correctly: a drug is any controlled substance that alters the mind and body. controlled substances as per the FDA schedules for controlled substances. television, music, video games, slavery, and capitalism aren't substances (controlled or otherwise) and petroleum isn't on an FDA schedule.

but of course Lucas, a drop out, probably failed or never completed chemistry or biology, and probably never had more than the primary DARE presentations in public schools. also unlike what some "rebels" think, DARE isn't mindless demand-side anti-drug propaganda, but general education on controlled and addictive substances, how to tell them apart legally and technically, and provides real-world statistics and data to reference and investigate.

https://dare.org/wp-content/uploads/K-12-Opioid-OTCRx-Drug-Abuse-Prevention-Curricula.pdf

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

So, I’ve been wondering for a while, because of this very reason, if Lucas isn’t a virgin still. Like no man who has had successful penis in vagina sex with a woman says stuff like ”I need clit on my dick.” It just doesn’t make sense.

Yes, okay, we know about Suzanne. But do we think maybe they dated and never had sex? The one photo we have of her, she’s shaving him. We know they had a nurturing relationship.

I get if you think I’m dumb and disagree, but think about this: has Lucas ever shown any correct insight as to what a woman thinks, wants, or feels? That is something that perhaps one might garner after some time spent and intimacy shared with the opposite sex.

A while ago, I would have disagreed with you, but I'm starting to think there's a lot of sense to this argument...

 

[VoidFace]

A while ago, I would have disagreed with you, but I'm starting to think there's a lot of sense to this argument...

I think there is some merit to the idea, or the idea that maybe he’s had sex once at most (likely with Suzanne). Lucas is far too ignorant of how sex works for him to have much, if any, experience.

I mean it’s sadly common for guys to not know much about the clit, or that women don’t pee out of their vagina…but Lucas seems to go well beyond that. If I were a betting man I’d put money down that Lucas has had sex less than ten times, if at all.

Edit: I’ve had a thought. We al know Lucas lacks quite a lot in the equipment department. What if he says things like “I need a clit on my dick” because that is literally all he’s physically been able to experience? He already has a micro-ween (that autocorrected to “Wern,” lul), and the gut makes it even more impossible.

I’m changing my bet: Lucas says shit like that because it matches the only experiences he has ever been physically capable of. I’m also betting Suzanne made him use an extender, or toys on her, but Lucas being too narcissistic to admit his girlfriend preferred a plastic man decided to change it to fisting to hide his shame.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

I’m also betting Suzanne made him use an extender, or toys on her, but Lucas being too narcissistic to admit his girlfriend preferred a plastic man decided to change it to fisting to hide his shame.

My recollection is that Lucas said Suzanne controlled the sex and was not willing to sex very often. This tells me she was not that into sex with Lucas so I would guess that when she did agree to sex, it was not something she would have prolonged with toys/apparatuses etc. Suzanne likely had sex with Lucas to stop the nagging. I’m guessing she couldn’t get off no matter what he used.

 

[SteveGoatman]

Lucas's idea of dieting, right down to 'and its only 35 calories!' its exactly the kind of thing i'd expect from him

Edit:

Its also worth mentioning that nursing homes are legally required to have their meal plans approved by a registered nutritionist to ensure the nutritional health of the residents, so he can't claim the meals are making him fat unless he is massively overeating them. Those meals are specifically designed to not make slow metabolism seniors fat, no way in hell they would make him fat on their own if eaten as intended. In other words lucas can't claim 'I have no control over what they feed me! they are making me fat!' as an excuse for why he's turning into the goodyear blimp. He's just overeating like the obese compulsive eating pig that he is

Exactly. He's not obese because of Mallon Place, he's obese because he tries to eat multiple servings at Mallon AND eat a bunch of random junk food, and does zero physical activity. Plus, as others have pointed out, he was plenty fat while he lived with other people and when he had his own apartment etc. Common denominator? Lucas.

 

[mothman96]

Give the Mallon Place Creeper money so he can find a chick.
The Creeper has had an apartment and extra money before, the women still wouldn't touch him with a 20 ft pole.

ETA:
How many times has he given out ways on how to approach women?
The comment:

As always wanting for someone else to do the "work" for him.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

I think there is some merit to the idea, or the idea that maybe he’s had sex once at most (likely with Suzanne). Lucas is far too ignorant of how sex works for him to have much, if any, experience.

I mean it’s sadly common for guys to not know much about the clit, or that women don’t pee out of their vagina…but Lucas seems to go well beyond that. If I were a betting man I’d put money down that Lucas has had sex less than ten times, if at all.

Edit: I’ve had a thought. We al know Lucas lacks quite a lot in the equipment department. What if he says things like “I need a clit on my dick” because that is literally all he’s physically been able to experience? He already has a micro-ween (that autocorrected to “Wern,” lul), and the gut makes it even more impossible.

I’m changing my bet: Lucas says shit like that because it matches the only experiences he has ever been physically capable of. I’m also betting Suzanne made him use an extender, or toys on her, but Lucas being too narcissistic to admit his girlfriend preferred a plastic man decided to change it to fisting to hide his shame.

AFAIR the gross fat fuck talked about anal with his ex ( on a podcast I think?)

Also the Lacie acorn-dick story arc was hilariously fucked up from every side.

 

[mothman96]

AFAIR the gross fat fuck talked about anal with his ex ( on a podcast I think?)

Also the Lacie acorn-dick story arc was hilariously fucked up from every side.

Back in the thread there is a screenshot where he says he gave Suzanne anal every morning before she left for work.
From the way he talks about women/sex it seems to me it all coming from his porn use.

 

[Tard Police]

"Excuse me miss, there's something about you that caught my eye."
What an opener! Decade long dry spell BTFO. I keep forgetting that all it actually takes for Lucas to get a girlfriend is walking up to someone close enough that his magic old man body chemicals make her fall in love, using his hypnotic psycho eyes on her that, *checks notes*...give guys boners...and spouting off the most bland awkward nice guy PUA shit imaginable. You'd think he'd have a girlfriend by now with all these tricks up his crusty hobo sleeve.


"I fully encourage you to debate with and harass them endlessly."
I guess he doesn't know other people have a block button too? The main takeaway here is that Lucas is a supporter of being endlessly harrassed. I'm looking forward to his online "friends" reminding him of that the next time he starts bitching about being harrassed by those mean old kiwi farmers.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Your confusion, Lucas, stems from the fact that NO ONE ELSE judges religious devotion by "who fucks young women", nor does anyone consider a "love everyone" mandate to mean "sleep with everyone".

Perhaps religion would be less distressing to you if you made an effort to understand it in the same terms as its actual practitioners... rather than using it as a buttress for your love-quest.

 

[Da Dude123]

The Gen Z , Gen X-Men age gap scence. It's there, it is. Mostly on Lower Post Street. Lucas just needs some money to find his girl. Help a brother out. You're a bigot and a coward if you don't help him out.

 

[mothman96]

"Noticeable" only in his scrambled egg rutting animal brain.
But wait, why is he wanting money when he doesn't want to go to the bars where the "age gap scene" happens because of covid and the bar goers are not wearing masks. Oh yea, there is Twigs, Atilanos, etc. to fill his expanding gut.

ETA.
Ninj'd by @Da Dude123

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

"Noticeable" only in his scrambled egg rutting animal brain.
But wait, why is he wanting money when he doesn't want to go to the bars where the "age gap scence" happens because of covid and the bar goers are not wearing masks. Oh yea, there is Twigs, Atilanos, etc. to fill his expanding gut.

View attachment 2795098

ETA.
Ninj'd by @Da Dude123

Exactly. None of the money that anyone is so unfortunate as to give Lucas will ever go to helping him find a girl, only expanding his waistline. In exactly the same way as Lucas eventually getting an ID didn't lead to him getting a girl, in fact it didn't even lead to him visiting one of the fabled age-gapping watering holes.

Excuses are an addiction to Lucas, just as surely as binge-eating.

 

[Jeep1971]

My recollection is that Lucas said Suzanne controlled the sex and was not willing to sex very often. This tells me she was not that into sex with Lucas so I would guess that when she did agree to sex, it was not something she would have prolonged with toys/apparatuses etc. Suzanne likely had sex with Lucas to stop the nagging. I’m guessing she couldn’t get off no matter what he used.

I am not trying to imagine that. Does he really have a micro peen?

 

[mothman96]

Working to have a home, car, etc is not greed. A young women not want to end up with a filthy deranged POS like you Creep is not greed, What is greed is you salivating at the thought of your parents dropping dead thinking of the property/money you think you are going to "inherit" .

ETA:
So is the Creeper wanting money for an apartment too?

 

[Twrx]

No offense to anyone in here, and I'm not referring to you, but every single atheist I have ever interacted with has been like Lucas. Far more insufferable than the christians they rail against. I may be the only one that thinks this, but I'm not 100 percent Lucas isn't a Christian. He has such a victim complex, that he has to be with the outside crowd so he can feel special. I'd bet if some Christian zoomer started talking to him, the truth would come out, and he would reveal himself to be some extremist bible thumper.

 

[Duke Nukem]

The best part is he'll swear up and down its legit and he would never scam anybody.....yet has flat out admitted to scamming people online several times in his 2010 reflections. Justifying it as he supposedly had no choice cause he needed the money

That said, with all the recent talk of him putting on a bunch more weight and the inevitable beetus effects that will result, lets have a reminder of what lucas really looks like when he starts to fatten up, without him being able to fuck with lighting, camera angles and selective pics:
View attachment 2777719
Behold, the wern in all his rotund morbidly obese pedo glory. He even looks and somehow manages to have the mannerisms of a pedo in that pic

He reminds me of the Fat Zombie from Doom 3. Probably smells at least as awful.

The Super Shotgun ain't gonna kill a guy Puke-Ass's size.

 

[A whole lotta nope]

I am not trying to imagine that. Does he really have a micro peen?

Yes. There is photographic evidence posted somewhere on this thread. It's a horrifying picture that I wish I could unsee.

No offense to anyone in here, and I'm not referring to you, but every single atheist I have ever interacted with has been like Lucas. Far more insufferable than the christians they rail against. I may be the only one that thinks this, but I'm not 100 percent Lucas isn't a Christian. He has such a victim complex, that he has to be with the outside crowd so he can feel special. I'd bet if some Christian zoomer started talking to him, the truth would come out, and he would reveal himself to be some extremist bible thumper.

I had to laugh at this (and I'm not offended, btw) because I have seen these assholes too. However, some atheists keep our beliefs to ourselves and don't bash others for their beliefs. I personally believe that religion (or lack thereof) is a personal thing and everyone has the right to believe whatever the hell they want, but they should never push it on anyone else. Unfortunately there are a lot of people (of all beliefs) who think that they're the only ones who could possibly be right and everyone who disagrees is stupid, immoral, or evil. Lucas is one of these assholes. He's very prone to black and white thinking. He's also incredibly narcissistic. Because Christians don't deliver him a zoomer bae, they're not good Christians. Never mind all those charities they operate that have helped Lucas when he really needed it.

Lucas would be/pretend to be whatever he thinks would get him a girlfriend. If he met a Christian girl who wanted to date him he would become Christian. If he met a Nazi girl, he'd be running around shouting Heil Hitler. I don't think he really has any strong convictions and will just be whatever he thinks will get him laid.