Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Europe has some of the best food anywhere. I would love to see him go to a REAL Italian restaurant and complains about the small size and the lack of ketchup. Christ, they would burn him at the stake.

Just imagine what it would be like if Jack went somewhere like the Cinque Terre. He'd absolutely hate it. He thought a parking lot in fucking Gatlinburg was steep, there's just no way he'd handle a village street there. He's so fat he'd take up half the width of a village street. No, if Jack went to Italy as part of his LARPing as an Italian he'd just end up getting ripped off at shitty tourist spots in Rome, Florence and Venice. Probably would get pickpocketed by gypsies too, he's such an easy target.

 

[Aunt Carol]

No, if Jack went to Italy as part of his LARPing as an Italian he'd just end up getting ripped off at shitty tourist spots in Rome, Florence and Venice. Probably would get pickpocketed by gypsies too, he's such an easy target.

All right; you've sold me. Who's collecting the money for Jack's ticket?

 

[the khat quaffer]

Probably would get pickpocketed by gypsies too, he's such an easy target.

Jack probably uses a fanny pack since his canyonesque gut and pancake ass preclude ever getting anything out of his pockets. A shrewd pickpocket would also immediately know to strike from the right.

That or his mommy wife carries the money. Yeah that's probably it.

 

[PeckingOrder]

If Jack ever visited Israel (fat chance of that happening with the panini and his declining health) he would be scammed out of every dollar he has by the locals. Israelis working with tourists know a sucker when they see one and the local taxi drivers especially have no shame and often charge tourists a premium. He’d be a little better off with a tour group, but the Old City vendors could still fuck him over easy. Of course, with a tour group he’d be ruining everyone’s vacation by constantly Jacking it up and filming everyone without their consent during mealtime.

And he’d be so pissed about the lack of pork, I’m 100% sure he doesn’t know about kashrut laws. I’m almost sad we won’t ever get to see this tantrum.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

And he’d be so pissed about the lack of pork, I’m 100% sure he doesn’t know about kashrut laws. I’m almost sad we won’t ever get to see this tantrum.

It would be a great display of hypocrisy considering he was bitching about the Carolinas not having beef BBQ and having too much pork.

 

[Sonic T]

I love Rob's trolling that skirts under mushbrain's radar. Can we make him an account here so that he's ready to go when he arrives?

 

[semitooth]

Can we make him an account here so that he's ready to go when he arrives?

i'd say its safe to assume he already has an account here.

 

[the khat quaffer]

I thought Harry Potter would be too satanic for them since most Bible thumpers think so.

Not the Scalfani-approved Harry Potter books.



Harry Potter and the Half-Cooked Prince

Hey kids, make your own Jack Jr. mask!
View attachment 2795213

Funniest mask will receive 20,000 keto points.

I would have made more but a) it's like shooting fish in a barrel and b) I can't stare at Scalfanis any longer.

 

[captkrisma]

Not the Scalfani-approved Harry Potter books.

View attachment 2796246

Harry Potter and the Half-Cooked Prince



View attachment 2796245
View attachment 2796268
View attachment 2796244

I would have made more but a) it's like shooting fish in a barrel and b) I can't stare at Scalfanis any longer.

Le sigh...okay...

Spoiler: Fun with masks

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Displaying his preference for children:


EDIT: But he's an equal opportunity cocksucker too:


EDIT 2: Remastered the original while I was at it:

 

[Chorton]

Wasn’t sure if this was posted yet, found it on IG.

Great edits everyone, Jr is such a twat and I really hope he actually does lurk the thread to see what a tool he is.

 

[Generic Retard]

If Jack really is possessed by a flesh craving wendigo, why does he not eat pure minced meat like Germans?
Checkmate atheists.

This shitpost was brought to you by Mett™

 

[RainwaterDrop]

i'd say its safe to assume he already has an account here.

In one way or another he knows about this place and he found his own audience, which is nice!

Wasn’t sure if this was posted yet, found it on IG.

Great edits everyone, Jr is such a twat and I really hope he actually does lurk the thread to see what a tool he is.

If he really does browse here and hasn't done anything to address all the legitimate criticism he got, maybe Jack naming him after himself was the one thing he got right. I can already see Jr. taking the mantle and becoming a failed narcissistic retard like daddy is, if he isn't already lol!

 

[V4L_Penis]

In one way or another he knows about this place and he found his own audience, which is nice!


If he really does browse here and hasn't done anything to address all the legitimate criticism he got, maybe Jack naming him after himself was the one thing he got right. I can already see Jr. taking the mantle and becoming a failed narcissistic retard like daddy is, if he isn't already lol!

In Junior's defense, he grew up eating food Jack cooked in plastic bags. Even if he didn't have the Scalfani genes he probably would have still ended up half retarded

 

[Generic Retard]

In one way or another he knows about this place and he found his own audience, which is nice!


If he really does browse here and hasn't done anything to address all the legitimate criticism he got, maybe Jack naming him after himself was the one thing he got right. I can already see Jr. taking the mantle and becoming a failed narcissistic retard like daddy is, if he isn't already lol!

Since he is called Jack as well, he can directly take over Jack's channel after he gets stroked out into a vegetative state.
Maybe he looks the type by then too, or he can just cosplay as Jack and nobody will know lol

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

Just imagine what it would be like if Jack went somewhere like the Cinque Terre. He'd absolutely hate it. He thought a parking lot in fucking Gatlinburg was steep, there's just no way he'd handle a village street there. He's so fat he'd take up half the width of a village street. No, if Jack went to Italy as part of his LARPing as an Italian he'd just end up getting ripped off at shitty tourist spots in Rome, Florence and Venice. Probably would get pickpocketed by gypsies too, he's such an easy target.

I just imagined Jack would try to climb up there at a normal Italian summer with 110° F (43° C) and I almost soiled myself while laughing.

If Jack is really possessed by a flesh craving wendigo, why does he not eat pure minced meat like Germans?
Checkmate atheists.

This shitpost was brought to you by Mett™

There's nothing wrong with a Mettbrötchen! You, You, SPD'ler!!!!!111!!!1!1

In Junior's defense, he grew up eating food Jack cooked in plastic bags. Even if he didn't have the Scalfani genes he probably would have still ended up half retarded

I'd rather eat the plastic bag itself, to be frank.

 

[DX10]

Every time I see that uwu baby bitmoji monstrosity I get repulsed like I've just had a parasitic worm crawl across my brain.

 

[Jack of the Lantern]

Jack's fired up and totally not bothered by the haters and their mean livestreams! I'm guessing that he'll be relying on Youtube's broken copyright system rather than God's divine wrath to "deal with them," though.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Jealous much, Jack?

 

[Trappin in the Trap]

View attachment 2796797

Jealous much, Jack?

The way he manages to make simple sentences confusing through weird grammar is truly inspiring, it's almost like English isn't his first language. Also Jack calling out others for copying ideas is rich.