Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[EvilDroid64]

I absolutely cannot wait for this fuckup.

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We see you, piggy!

 

[AnOminous]

And yeah, fruitcake is supposed to be dense. That's where all the holiday jokes about it come from; using it as a brick, heavy ordinance...fruitcake is almost a chore to eat. Not a big fan of it.

It also lasts forever and remains as disgusting as it already was, so if you get one of these things from someone who hates you, you can give it to someone you hate the next Christmas. Or even just give it back to the fuckwad who gave it to you in the first place.

 

[Dead Air]

I absolutely cannot wait for this fuckup.

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The amount of shit they have stacked on their kitchen counters irritates me more than it really should.

 

[MasterDisaster]

It also lasts forever and remains as disgusting as it already was, so if you get one of these things from someone who hates you, you can give it to someone you hate the next Christmas. Or even just give it back to the fuckwad who gave it to you in the first place.

Anyone that would give you a fruitcake over some Chocolate Charlie needs you to shit in their stocking.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

How is it 'lazy man', exactly? It's a goose. Defrost. Oil/grease up. Season. Cook until done. Wow. A series of complicated steps that needed to be simplified. Jack could slap some peanut butter and jelly on some bread and he'd call it Lazy Man PB&J's.

And yeah, fruitcake is supposed to be dense. That's where all the holiday jokes about it come from; using it as a brick, heavy ordinance...fruitcake is almost a chore to eat. Not a big fan of it.

It's lazy man because Jack will fuck this simple process up. This retard can't cook a boiled egg right, he is a master at fucking up food in innovative ways. Before I took an interest in cooking I was a retard at the kitchen, but even then I wouldn't do some of the shit Jack pulls off. He is simply that retarded lol!

It also lasts forever and remains as disgusting as it already was, so if you get one of these things from someone who hates you, you can give it to someone you hate the next Christmas. Or even just give it back to the fuckwad who gave it to you in the first place.

Fruitcake must be a nightmare lol! Try getting some Panettone, it's much better, so much that it became a seasonal staple far beyond Italy lol!

The amount of shit they have stacked on their kitchen counters irritates me more than it really should.

When you have a fat retard cleaning up Amazon's stock of cookwares every week living in the house you're bound to end up with a hoard lol!

 

[MasterDisaster]

Fruitcake must be a nightmare

It's just something from a forgotten era that sticks around because it's considered seasonal. Like stringing popcorn, going door to door caroling for figgy pudding or cocoa and going to midnight mass; it sounds festive until you're doing it.

 

[Charlie Delicious]

His love for mixing everything with a fork concerns me

 

[Generic Retard]

His love for mixing everything with a fork concerns me

What you gon' do if you only have one hand and can't hold the bowl firmly?
He probably goes for a fork because it has a smaller effective area and therefore will not move the bowl as much when mixing.

That, or he is retarded. Your choice.

 

[JustAJollyMawile]

What you gon' do if you only have one hand and can't hold the bowl firmly?
He probably goes for a fork because it has a smaller effective area and therefore will not move the bowl as much when mixing.

That, or he is retarded. Your choice.

i know my choice

 

[Kermit Jizz]

I thought the holidays were supposed to be for food, family, and fun Jack.

When did Jack start to care about retail workers? Wasn't he bitching them out for not having creamer just a couple days ago?

 

[rubytintedchix]

There’s a new BBQ Wars. It isn’t in Raleigh, like the previous video said. They are now in Charlotte and he states this is the last stop of the trip. Is there lost footage? Or did he skip Raleigh altogether because he’s a pussy ass bitch?

Also: the retarded music to hide what’s playing in the background is back.

 

[Neko GF]

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[The Southwest Strangla]

When did Jack start to care about retail workers? Wasn't he bitching them out for not having creamer just a couple days ago?

He was bitching about it. Jack doesn’t care about retail workers. He just think the vaccine is “anti-Christian” or some shit. He just loves to slap his half hearted political beliefs into everything.

 

[Aaway]

There’s a new BBQ Wars. It isn’t in Raleigh, like the previous video said. They are now in Charlotte and he states this is the last stop of the trip. Is there lost footage? Or did he skip Raleigh altogether because he’s a pussy ass bitch?

Also: the retarded music to hide what’s playing in the background is back.

at the beginning he says they were supposed to go to a place "downtown" but chose not to because there were was a game on and people were drunk

interesting how jack doesn't try the sauce on video and we only see dr. saebo try it. maybe tammy barred jack from trying the sauces on video since he always criticizes it? she was fed up with it at the first place they reviewed

looks like this place takes the gluttony wars crown. i had a feeling it would after it was revealed that they sold beef ribs, although i was really hoping that last place that served literal slop would win

we also got a jakbang

 

[Kermit Jizz]

we also got a jakbang

This image really sums up Jack. Struggling to hold a giant piece of meat because he stroked out his other arm. The irony is so thick Jack couldn't get his jaws around it.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

I'm sure Jack did exactly as h3 said in the video: he went to a liquor store and asked the staff what the best rum was. The staff, thinking they're talking to a special needs person with very little disposable income, recommends a bottle that is less than $25.

What's interesting is that for a guy who swears up and down he doesn't drink anymore that he buys a whole ass bottle instead of nips. If my measurements are correct, he would have had the same amount of alcohol for both the pudding and the frosting for around $6. Instead he now has to consume 4x the amount he used. Expect a LOT of rum videos in the future...

Unless Jack is a fucking lying coward in which he just drank the rest.

I'm betting he saw "spiced" on the label and figured that would work with his cum pudding.

Folding batter with a fork? Does he not watch any other cooking videos? How do you do something for years and years but learn nothing?

I'm just wondering why he folded it into the mixture. You fold something into your batter when you want it to retain some of the air you beat into it. Like if you're working with beaten egg whites and making a mouse. You need that air to give it structure and lightness. This could have been mixed. With a spoon. And it would have come out the same way.

It's way too dense for folding to be an option. Unless Mushbrain is just being autistic and following the recipe there's no need for folding in this case.

I thought the holidays were supposed to be for food, family, and fun Jack.

Please. You expect Mushbrain to actually stand by what he said previously? That would require things like memory and not just angry posts over things that concern him and him only.

It also lasts forever and remains as disgusting as it already was, so if you get one of these things from someone who hates you, you can give it to someone you hate the next Christmas. Or even just give it back to the fuckwad who gave it to you in the first place.

There's two sisters that have been doing this for years. Each year one gives it to the other one. Then next year they give it back and it's been going on for more than 50 years now. Each year they come up with a new and creative way to do so.

 

[Joycondrift]

Fuck Jack is insufferable

"Oh they're wrapping the meat THAT MEANS ITS AT 165"

"I don't get why they chop the meat for you. Comes out like someone has already chewed it"

Buh you're in an area who's specialty and style is whole hog chopped so you get different textures and flavors while you eat it. Why is seeing chopped pork a surprise.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

at the beginning he says they were supposed to go to a place "downtown" but chose not to because there were was a game on and people were drunk

interesting how jack doesn't try the sauce on video and we only see dr. saebo try it. maybe tammy barred jack from trying the sauces on video since he always criticizes it? she was fed up with it at the first place they reviewed

looks like this place takes the gluttony wars crown. i had a feeling it would after it was revealed that they sold beef ribs, although i was really hoping that last place that served literal slop would win

we also got a jakbang

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You think he sucks dick like that? lol

 

[Sonic T]

we also got a jakbang

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"Tammy, look, look Tammy! You thee the thize of this leg? Tammy? Iz it tasty? Iz so good I rate it a tholid B pluth."

 

[Schmuck of Ages]

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Jack teases another BBQ Wars tour towards the end of this and I wonder where he is gonna go next for these. Though knowing him it will be him wandering various stripmalls in Alabama for white sauce wars or some shit.