FatBoyGetDown / Steven John Assanti - MASSIVELY Overweight Leech, Proud Useless Asshole, Reality TV "Star", Still not dead via Fat.

[RedRocket69]

You'd need to find an abandoned open pit mine for a large enough hole. I say just dump him into the sea and let him sink to the seabed. Dead whale carcasses are a boon for marine life.

I wanted to be a mortician when I was younger and spent a while on a forum talking with people that had experience. Apparently it's very difficult to to safely cremate someone that size because their body goes up like a grease fire. The best method is called aquamation.

The machine is basically a pressure cooker filled with ultra concentrated bleach. It quickly dissolves everything allowing it to be safely dumped down the drain without harming the water supply for a fraction of the cost and resources.

What I'm saying is he belongs in the sewer and we have the technology.

 

[CivilianOfTheFandomWars]

A Steven Assanti pallbearer training for his task, 2021, colorized

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

I wanted to be a mortician when I was younger and spent a while on a forum talking with people that had experience. Apparently it's very difficult to to safely cremate someone that size because their body goes up like a grease fire. The best method is called aquamation.

The machine is basically a pressure cooker filled with ultra concentrated bleach. It quickly dissolves everything allowing it to be safely dumped down the drain without harming the water supply for a fraction of the cost and resources.

What I'm saying is he belongs in the sewer and we have the technology.

That sounds expensive, hasn't his fat ass cost everyone enough? We could just dump him into a slurry silo and within a week or two he could be spread across fields to help grow some feed stock for pigs or cows.

Finally, he would be giving something back to society.

 

[Übertroon]

I wanted to be a mortician when I was younger and spent a while on a forum talking with people that had experience. Apparently it's very difficult to to safely cremate someone that size because their body goes up like a grease fire. The best method is called aquamation.

The machine is basically a pressure cooker filled with ultra concentrated bleach. It quickly dissolves everything allowing it to be safely dumped down the drain without harming the water supply for a fraction of the cost and resources.

What I'm saying is he belongs in the sewer and we have the technology.

How would a violent fire be a problem for a proper cremation chamber? Are they trying to cremate fatsos over an open flame or is this a concern for how expensive it will be to fuel a 20 hour long cremation?

 

[RedRocket69]

That sounds expensive, hasn't his fat ass cost everyone enough? We could just dump him into a slurry silo and within a week or two he could be spread across fields to help grow some feed stock for pigs or cows.

Finally, he would be giving something back to society.

It's actually far cheaper than cremation because it doesn't require massive amounts of fuel. The hydrochloride does most of the work while the pressure cooker speeds up the process by heating and forcing the chemical constantly deeper into the body.
I know you're just shitposting but this is a topic I enjoy.

How would a violent fire be a problem for a proper cremation chamber? Are they trying to cremate fatsos over an open flame or is this a concern for how expensive it will be to fuel a 20 hour long cremation?

Let me see if I can find video for you.
Even in a modern crematorium isn't equiped to deal with 600+ pounds of pure liquid fat. It will kick up an enormous amount of soot, coating the entire ventilation system with fat, dripping into every part of the system.
You could bisect the body I guess, doubling the cost and taking up an oven that's needed for another body. But most families wouldn't consent to that.
Links related.

'Overly obese' body sparks Ohio funeral home fire

The fat in the body burned at a higher temperature, prompting a "grease fire".

www.bbc.com

500 lb. body causes fire at Henrico crematory

An attempt to cremate a 500 pound body sparked a fire at a crematory in Henrico Wednesday afternoon, according to the company's manager.

www.nbc12.com

 

[3-2-1836]

It's actually far cheaper than cremation because it doesn't require massive amounts of fuel. The hydrochloride does most of the work while the pressure cooker speeds up the process by heating and forcing the chemical constantly deeper into the body.
I know you're just shitposting but this is a topic I enjoy.

If it's far cheaper why do we never hear about it?

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

But was he vaccinated?

 

[RedRocket69]

If it's far cheaper why do we never hear about it?

Not approved everywhere. I imagine it's an EPA issue. Also unless you're a weirdo that keeps up with that sort of thing, don't imagine you would unless you personally had to handle the affairs of someone.
I really wish it was more common. It would save so much fuel and money. Plus the family would still get an urn for the bone "ash"

 

[Getwhatyou]

That sounds expensive, hasn't his fat ass cost everyone enough? We could just dump him into a slurry silo and within a week or two he could be spread across fields to help grow some feed stock for pigs or cows.

Finally, he would be giving something back to society.

Bleach is basically very salty water with a charge ran through it. However i know what happens when bleach comes in contact with an organic and it gets very very hot. So I can see how thst would happen under pressure

 

[AnOminous]

If it's far cheaper why do we never hear about it?

I've heard of it under the name of "wet cremation." I think it might not be popular because people are squeamish about the idea of being turned into a gross slurry and basically flushed down a toilet. Cremation just seems cleaner somehow.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

I've heard of it under the name of "wet cremation." I think it might not be popular because people are squeamish about the idea of being turned into a gross slurry and basically flushed down a toilet. Cremation just seems cleaner somehow.

People want a grave to visit, not to hold a funeral over some pipe that eventually leads to the ocean.

It's hard for me to dance with glee on the graves of people who were clearly enabled into being terrible shits. The Dad has some responsibility for his sons turning out the way they did. Steven's a narcissist though, whose every mental and physical waking moment is probably torture, so I really don't know if death would be his destroyer or his deliverer. I will say that I'd rather have this experience make him into a better person than to see him die. A Rainbow Opinion perhaps, but ....enh.....

 

[Les Morfalous]

People want a grave to visit, not to hold a funeral over some pipe that eventually leads to the ocean.

That's what plastic drums are for. I mean if Mexicans and Malcolm's dad can do it, I don't see why it shouldn't work here.

 

[RedRocket69]

People want a grave to visit, not to hold a funeral over some pipe that eventually leads to the ocean.

The bones are actually left behind and ground into dust which can then be placed into an urn. Not really any different than burning away flesh and collecting the bone ash

 

[Tumbo]

I seem to recall him loseing a shit ton of weight after being on the show I guess it's also possible he put it all back on.

 

[Dyn]

I wanted to be a mortician when I was younger and spent a while on a forum talking with people that had experience. Apparently it's very difficult to to safely cremate someone that size because their body goes up like a grease fire. The best method is called aquamation.

The machine is basically a pressure cooker filled with ultra concentrated bleach. It quickly dissolves everything allowing it to be safely dumped down the drain without harming the water supply for a fraction of the cost and resources.

What I'm saying is he belongs in the sewer and we have the technology.

I've heard of using superheated lye but how does it compare to the sulfuric acid/H202 mix for home use? Is it worth investing in a pressure cooker?

 

[TheGuntinator]

Sure is, and yet being a great big fat person AND a shitbag druggie hasn't been enough to kill him.
I could be wrong but I'm willing to be he pulls through.
**Waits for this to be a featured article when this actually does kill him and I look like a stupid idiot**

Youve got ten years once you get hooked for most of them, its been how long into his habit? Your immune system starts to get weaker, you get covered in sores, they get infected and it reaches your heart. Of course he's going to hoover up all the help he can for free food and shelter however and drain every last drop of patience ,medicine and goodwill left before he dies

 

[RedRocket69]

I've heard of using superheated lye but how does it compare to the sulfuric acid/H202 mix for home use? Is it worth investing in a pressure cooker?

A kitchen tier one would be too small to be practical for fast disposal and building your own would be expensive, dangerous, and extremely hard to clean/hide/dispose of.

If I had to act fast, butchering would be optimal. The long pig could then be deposited into the dumpster behind a butcher shop, Chinese restaurant, etc so that smell wouldn't be an issue.

In Minecraft

Youve got ten years once you get hooked for most of them, its been how long into his habit? Your immune system starts to get weaker, you get covered in sores, they get infected and it reaches your heart. Of course he's going to hoover up all the help he can for free food and shelter however and drain every last drop of patience ,medicine and goodwill left before he dies

You're thinking of street tier opiates. Scumbags will sell all sorts of weird shit as heroin like dehydrated Dr Pepper mixed with vinegar and then fiends will inject that. Or a junkie will do a "wash" of their filters without sterilizing the liquid or their gear. Etc.
But he's on pharmaceutical grade and not injecting.
Really the greatest risk to him is taking all of the NSAIDs in vicodin or going cold turkey. Opiate withdrawal makes you feel like dying but doesn't usually kill. The stress to his body would probably end him though.

 

[JethroTullamore]

That sounds expensive, hasn't his fat ass cost everyone enough? We could just dump him into a slurry silo and within a week or two he could be spread across fields to help grow some feed stock for pigs or cows.

Finally, he would be giving something back to society.

I say they do the whole “blow up the dead whale on a beach with dynamite” thing to dispose of his corpse, messy, but entertaining.

 

[Jan Ciągwa]

Youve got ten years once you get hooked for most of them, its been how long into his habit? Your immune system starts to get weaker, you get covered in sores, they get infected and it reaches your heart. Of course he's going to hoover up all the help he can for free food and shelter however and drain every last drop of patience ,medicine and goodwill left before he dies

Well ackshually opiates are one of the cleanest drugs, health-wise, to do. Assuming you're eating pharmaceutical-grade pills and not shooting black tar behind a dumpster.

The biggest problem is ruining your endogenous endorphine production, thus turning yourself into a complacent dumbass who cares only about the next dose, with no way to reverse that. But your body is going to be fine otherwise.

Every street drug out there is contaminated or cut with crap that ruins your health. The drugs themselves are addictive but not nearly as poisonous as you might have been told. Alcohol is much more toxic than most of them and you can buy it everywhere, but you don't see civilization collapsing because of that.

 

[Dyn]

In Minecraft

H2S04 mixed with H202 can already turn any problem into fond blanc within a few hours if you section it up somewhat first, without needing a pressure cooker. I'm thinking that's the way to go.