Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

Tess herself pulled out of her gargantuan ass?

 

[JesusChristSuperstar]

My favorite of the fat people ornaments: just a whole stick of butter.



Other fat people food ornaments spotted include: a bottle of ranch dressing, a pickle, a tub of popcorn, a burrito, a hotdog, a strip of bacon, and a cake! Could she be any more on the nose.

 

[Snack Cracker]

My favorite of the fat people ornaments: just a whole stick of butter.

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Other fat people food ornaments spotted include: a bottle of ranch dressing, a pickle, a tub of popcorn, a burrito, a hotdog, a strip of bacon, and a cake! Could she be any more on the nose.

I’ve seen some cute trees this year decorated with pastel candies and mini baked good ornaments, but a stick of butter and ranch dressing?
That’s not cute, there’s nothing cute about that, just a display of gluttony.
Her tree is perfect for her.

 

[NoReturn]

My favorite of the fat people ornaments: just a whole stick of butter.

View attachment 2832437

Other fat people food ornaments spotted include: a bottle of ranch dressing, a pickle, a tub of popcorn, a burrito, a hotdog, a strip of bacon, and a cake! Could she be any more on the nose.

I’ve seen some cute trees this year decorated with pastel candies and mini baked good ornaments, but a stick of butter and ranch dressing?
That’s not cute, there’s nothing cute about that, just a display of gluttony.
Her tree is perfect for her.

 

[Nod Flenders]

View attachment 2832580

Tess obviously doesn't realize that outside of her bubble, everybody rightly describes her as a fat slob.

 

[Water-T]

Tess is trying to prove to teh haterz that she is capable of making and eating food that doesn't contain a pound of sugar or was deep fried to death.

I can guarantee that 5 minutes after scarfing that down, she was rooting through the freezer for a pint of Jeni's to satiate her endless hunger.

 

[InteracialBowelSyndrome]

If she really is worth 5 million, which I doubt, then she definitley spends more then she earns. Her McDonalds budget alone is probably more then the annual GDP of Ethiopia.

 

[Water-T]

That 5 million estimate was a typo. They meant "calories eaten per year", not "dollars"

 

[taintmisbehavin]

Tess is trying to prove to teh haterz that she is capable of making and eating food that doesn't contain a pound of sugar or was deep fried to death.

I can guarantee that 5 minutes after scarfing that down, she was rooting through the freezer for a pint of Jeni's to satiate her endless hunger.

Not to mention the thirty candy platters pictured in the other video that really invalidate the whole “healthy Christmas” narrative .

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

That 5 million estimate was a typo. They meant "calories eaten per year", not "dollars"

Math checks out

 

[NoReturn]

 

[Water-T]

Not to mention the thirty candy platters pictured in the other video that really invalidate the whole “healthy Christmas” narrative .

it's cute how Tess thinks making one plate of roasted vegetables and salad is going to make up for all the pints of Jeni's, booze, fried food, fast food, candy, sugary Starbucks drinks, and all other junk she's gobbled down this year.

Just like she thinks rolling around on the floor and hoisting her ham hocks for 5 minutes for her IG once a week is going to make up for sitting around all day.

 

[Synthwave]

Honestly, that meal looks absolutely disgusting. Everything looks wilted, greasy and soggy. Is she gonna eat those ends of the carrots as well or is it just for display? Just stick to the deep fried stuff and spare us from the ”healthy” food gore.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Honestly, that meal looks absolutely disgusting. Everything looks wilted, greasy and soggy. Is she gonna eat those ends of the carrots as well or is it just for display? Just stick to the deep fried stuff and spare us from the ”healthy” food gore.

She’ll definitely eat the potatoes and the carrots look like they’ve been slathered with likely some kind of sugar, like candied carrots. The salad looks disgusting, probably drizzled with some high calorie dressing. Of course, it’s a paper plate even though it’s a “fancy” plate.

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Jeni’s ice cream and Frappuccinos are basically just big sugar bombs for fat people who have warped taste buds. I had a pumpkin spice latte a few months ago from Starbucks and I felt sick to my stomach because of how sugary it was. A couple sips and that was enough, I can’t imagine chugging those drinks several times a week.

 

[Water-T]

She’ll definitely eat the potatoes and the carrots look like they’ve been slathered with likely some kind of sugar, like candied carrots. The salad looks disgusting, probably drizzled with some high calorie dressing. Of course, it’s a paper plate even though it’s a “fancy” plate.

Jeni’s ice cream and Frappuccinos are basically just big sugar bombs for fat people who have warped taste buds. I had a pumpkin spice latte a few months ago from Starbucks and I felt sick to my stomach because of how sugary it was. A couple sips and that was enough, I can’t imagine chugging those drinks several times a week.

Ditto. I tried one just to see what the hype was about, and it was like drinking a cup of sugar mixed with a pumpkin pie and blended with enough milk to make it drinkable. I swear it gave diabetes to everyone in a 10 mile radius

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Put it this way: Anthony Bourdain’s estate was a little over a million bucks. This is a man who was beloved by many, considered a leader and trailblazer in NUMEROUS fields (cooking, writing, reinventing travel television) with numerous successful TV series, awards, best-selling books, etc.

Tess can’t even come close. I hate mentioning her name anywhere near Tony’s. He’d probably hate her, bless his soul.

Here’s Bourdain and Ted Nugent’s thoughts on obesity. Spoiler alert: they don’t like it.

Obesity is evil, thus sayeth Ted Nugent and Anthony Bourdain

Ted Nugent and Anthony Bourdain discuss the evil that is obesity.

www.youtube.com

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

And for that, I often enjoy searching for “Tess Holliday net worth”, such a wonderful example of an internet persona that has nothing to do with reality.
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> tree decorations
A N O R E X I C

Did anyone catch the tiktok she posted where she bragged about being a "God damn super model" and mentioned that she has several successful businesses?


I can't find it but my god, the delusion


ETA- https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM8wQSKHw/ found it. A supermodel with no repeat clients, no mainstream clients and shilling vibrators on social media. Successful businesses where???

 

[NoReturn]

Ditto. I tried one just to see what the hype was about, and it was like drinking a cup of sugar mixed with a pumpkin pie and blended with enough milk to make it drinkable. I swear it gave diabetes to everyone in a 10 mile radius

Pumpkin spice is just cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, allspice, and cloves. You used to be able to approximate it by adding cinnamon and nutmeg to a regular latte, but Starbucks removed all the "spice toppings" in March 2021.

 

[multiverse]

Oy vey, the Times need to stop using Ryann's stage name in the crossword before she has a heart attack in an attempt to touch herself over it.

Look at her second hand, several seasons out of style, bottom tier luxury handbag, guise! She's winning!




Man, if she ever had a chance to spend time with real rich people... though she's too dense to realize when she's being laughed at, I suppose.

 

[NoReturn]

No, Tess. I'm not into fat chicks. I only like people who can clean their own folds and aren't smuggling a box of twinkies on their head.