King of Hateful Slurs
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 20, 2021
Big Twitch salt incoming. It's still all the trolls fault of course.
DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2
- Thread starter actually
- Start date
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2020
He's STILL going on about Curse. Holy fuck this guy loves to hold grudges. And no, Phil. Curse dropped your ass because you're a fucking idiot.
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2021
My god the lip smacks are off the charts this morning. Oh and we're not going to talk about the past until I then talk about the past not 2 minutes later, OK?
Crooked 16th
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2019
He's just laying the foundation for a return to twitch "Guys i had to go back to twitch because i wasn't making enough on Youtube"
snort inquisition
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2020
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2019
Sup3r made the comment on Dec 16th. That's what I remembered reading.
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2020
If Halo was Jasper on life support, Phil would be charged with cruelty to animals for the amount of times he's threatened to pull the plug. Using it to wring more money from your paypigs is pretty blatantly disgusting, Phil. Par for the course.
capefear56
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2021
I'll never get over how disgusting he's willing to be in front of an audience of hundreds of people. Zero self-awareness.
- Joined
- May 24, 2020
From what I remember Curse dropped him because he wasn't worth keeping around financially, he got let go at around the same time as a bunch of other khantent creators, none of which had problems with DA TROLLZ so him saying that Curse told him "Phil, we wanted to keep you but DA TROLLZ!" is just more bullshit and him trying to rewrite history.
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2019
Kiwifarms was doing an event with anonymous gifts between users called Secret Santa.
I got mine, someone made a hilarious story about DSP, if you want to read it:
I got mine, someone made a hilarious story about DSP, if you want to read it:
The tech was new, yet so familiar to him. He traced his pudgy fingertips along the subtle curves of the controller in his hand, marveling at how its two halves were conjoined by an ethereal blue film. He could move either end independently, though the curiously glowing miasma would draw them together the moment he stopped touching either end.
"What the hell is this?" The stout man asked in a nasal whine.
"Those," a robotic drone responded, "Are JOYCONS: Jabroni-Operable Yttrium Controllers for Omnipresent Neurolinked Starbeings. We've drawn inspiration from Earth inventions to create a device suited to human use."
The man snorted loudly enough for it to echo down the metal corridor they were in.
"Yeah, well, they better not drift too bad."
His second snort went ignored by the detractron, which continued on with its explanation without a moment's pause.
"Now, Phil, it's paramount that you use this device responsibly. Admittedly, there were many others better suited to its use than you; though they were all destroyed by a powerful and ever-growing threat: the liberal gaming media. You are the last true gamer left, and so-"
The clicking of a button being repeatedly pressed cut the bot off. For a long moment it watched Phil with dead, glowing eyes as he mindlessly clacked at the controls with his thumb.
"What... are you doing?"
"I'm skipping this pointless dialog." Phil answered while continuing to mash what would be the 'A' button.
"But... this is crucial information," The detractron buzzed, "I'm not only explaining the importance of this war, but how to use those JOYCONS to-"
"Booooooriiiiiiing," Phil made what the bot could only assume was a laugh, though it sounded more like the portly man was gargling gravel while descending a particularly bumpy waterslide.
"If I could sigh," the detractron muttered, "I'm quite certain that this interaction would provide a suitable opprotunity for me to do so. Alas."
"So what does this thing even do?" Phil asked while squinting through the dim light between the controllers.
"Once I've activated the Neurotransmitter, a signal will be projected from your innermost psyche into the cosmos, calling forth an extrademensional being that resonates with your deepest desires."
"Oooooh, my deepest desires you say?" Phil suggestively wiggled his eyebrows at the machine.
"Yes."
"So a beautiful space lady might come out of this thing?"
"Potentially. However, given your parameters it's more likely that-"
"And we could make sweet, sweet space love."
Another chortle from Phil later, the bot continued.
"Now then, we must train you to control such a being. Proceeding unprepared may result in-"
"Enough of this tutorial bullshit!" Phil snorted, "Just give me my character already."
"But I must stress the importance of-"
"-do you want my help or not?"
The following silence was long and heavy, only broken by the occasional sniff or honk Phil made as he fought off his second-largest enemy: his throat phlegm.
"Very well," the detractron buzzed. A mechanical digit emerged from a compartment on its rectangular body, extending to the center of the film between the controllers.
"Focus now, Phil," the computer spoke, "will your preferred fighter into existence. Call to it from the deepest corners of your heart. What emerges from this controller will be your partner, your souls intertwined forevermore."
"Yeah, yeah, I already said I wanted a sexy space lady. Just get on with it already!"
There was a sound similar to a raindrop landing in a puddle as the robot's fingertip finally connected with the static field between the JOYCONS. There was a flash of bright, golden light beside Phil that slowly morphed from a shimmering mist into a more defined shape. Its image grew clearer... and clearer... until with a hollow pop it became a physical being.
"No... way!" Phil squealed.
Before him stood a massive entity- seven feet tall at the very least- with a bulk comprised mostly of toned muscle mass. Washboard abs and biceps like bowling balls flexed beneath a broad head. In fact, the creature mostly resembled a human, with its muscular bulk being supported by two smooth, tan legs. The only clothing it bore was a tight speedo with a suggestively large bulge, only partially covered by a bulky wrestling champion belt. The being tossed its head back, and despite its lack of a mouth- or any facial features, really- bellowed in a deep and bombastic roar.
It was only once the ship had stopped rumbling in the wake of the beast's outburst that Phil spoke up again.
"What the fuck is this? I mean, it's pretty badass I guess, but didn't you say I was supposed to get the being of my deepest desire? Why's it a big naked dude?"
"Yes, that is correct. It would seem that-"
Phil snorted in a particularly disruptive way. "Even space tech is glitched! What are these bugged summoning mechanics?"
Both the robot and extraterrestrial being watched Phil in silence as he again flooded the corridor with his strange, gurgly laughter.
"So how do you work this thing anyway?" Phil asked while mashing random buttons.
"You must exercise caution when operating the JOYCONS-" The detractron blurted as the large, sweaty being began stomping about the ship via Phil's inputs. "It may take several days of training to become proficient. Until then, you must-"
A swift kick by a chiseled leg crumpled the bot mid-sentence. As it crashed, motionless, to the ground, Phil had another outburst of laughter.
"That was cool as fuck! I wonder what else this baby can do!"
It was then, along with an unfortunate combination of inputs, that the muscleman performed an extraordinarily sick backflip before delivering an atomic flying knee to the ship's metallic hull.
The alloy of the ship punctured like wet paper, violently sucking Phil out into the void of space. As he floated into the cold nothingness, he used his last breath to say one last thing:
"These controls are bullshit."
"What the hell is this?" The stout man asked in a nasal whine.
"Those," a robotic drone responded, "Are JOYCONS: Jabroni-Operable Yttrium Controllers for Omnipresent Neurolinked Starbeings. We've drawn inspiration from Earth inventions to create a device suited to human use."
The man snorted loudly enough for it to echo down the metal corridor they were in.
"Yeah, well, they better not drift too bad."
His second snort went ignored by the detractron, which continued on with its explanation without a moment's pause.
"Now, Phil, it's paramount that you use this device responsibly. Admittedly, there were many others better suited to its use than you; though they were all destroyed by a powerful and ever-growing threat: the liberal gaming media. You are the last true gamer left, and so-"
The clicking of a button being repeatedly pressed cut the bot off. For a long moment it watched Phil with dead, glowing eyes as he mindlessly clacked at the controls with his thumb.
"What... are you doing?"
"I'm skipping this pointless dialog." Phil answered while continuing to mash what would be the 'A' button.
"But... this is crucial information," The detractron buzzed, "I'm not only explaining the importance of this war, but how to use those JOYCONS to-"
"Booooooriiiiiiing," Phil made what the bot could only assume was a laugh, though it sounded more like the portly man was gargling gravel while descending a particularly bumpy waterslide.
"If I could sigh," the detractron muttered, "I'm quite certain that this interaction would provide a suitable opprotunity for me to do so. Alas."
"So what does this thing even do?" Phil asked while squinting through the dim light between the controllers.
"Once I've activated the Neurotransmitter, a signal will be projected from your innermost psyche into the cosmos, calling forth an extrademensional being that resonates with your deepest desires."
"Oooooh, my deepest desires you say?" Phil suggestively wiggled his eyebrows at the machine.
"Yes."
"So a beautiful space lady might come out of this thing?"
"Potentially. However, given your parameters it's more likely that-"
"And we could make sweet, sweet space love."
Another chortle from Phil later, the bot continued.
"Now then, we must train you to control such a being. Proceeding unprepared may result in-"
"Enough of this tutorial bullshit!" Phil snorted, "Just give me my character already."
"But I must stress the importance of-"
"-do you want my help or not?"
The following silence was long and heavy, only broken by the occasional sniff or honk Phil made as he fought off his second-largest enemy: his throat phlegm.
"Very well," the detractron buzzed. A mechanical digit emerged from a compartment on its rectangular body, extending to the center of the film between the controllers.
"Focus now, Phil," the computer spoke, "will your preferred fighter into existence. Call to it from the deepest corners of your heart. What emerges from this controller will be your partner, your souls intertwined forevermore."
"Yeah, yeah, I already said I wanted a sexy space lady. Just get on with it already!"
There was a sound similar to a raindrop landing in a puddle as the robot's fingertip finally connected with the static field between the JOYCONS. There was a flash of bright, golden light beside Phil that slowly morphed from a shimmering mist into a more defined shape. Its image grew clearer... and clearer... until with a hollow pop it became a physical being.
"No... way!" Phil squealed.
Before him stood a massive entity- seven feet tall at the very least- with a bulk comprised mostly of toned muscle mass. Washboard abs and biceps like bowling balls flexed beneath a broad head. In fact, the creature mostly resembled a human, with its muscular bulk being supported by two smooth, tan legs. The only clothing it bore was a tight speedo with a suggestively large bulge, only partially covered by a bulky wrestling champion belt. The being tossed its head back, and despite its lack of a mouth- or any facial features, really- bellowed in a deep and bombastic roar.
It was only once the ship had stopped rumbling in the wake of the beast's outburst that Phil spoke up again.
"What the fuck is this? I mean, it's pretty badass I guess, but didn't you say I was supposed to get the being of my deepest desire? Why's it a big naked dude?"
"Yes, that is correct. It would seem that-"
Phil snorted in a particularly disruptive way. "Even space tech is glitched! What are these bugged summoning mechanics?"
Both the robot and extraterrestrial being watched Phil in silence as he again flooded the corridor with his strange, gurgly laughter.
"So how do you work this thing anyway?" Phil asked while mashing random buttons.
"You must exercise caution when operating the JOYCONS-" The detractron blurted as the large, sweaty being began stomping about the ship via Phil's inputs. "It may take several days of training to become proficient. Until then, you must-"
A swift kick by a chiseled leg crumpled the bot mid-sentence. As it crashed, motionless, to the ground, Phil had another outburst of laughter.
"That was cool as fuck! I wonder what else this baby can do!"
It was then, along with an unfortunate combination of inputs, that the muscleman performed an extraordinarily sick backflip before delivering an atomic flying knee to the ship's metallic hull.
The alloy of the ship punctured like wet paper, violently sucking Phil out into the void of space. As he floated into the cold nothingness, he used his last breath to say one last thing:
"These controls are bullshit."
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2019
Clearly it's because he didn't 'buy in'.
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2020
I'm looking thru pigpiggo for "grocery" or "groceries" and found another denial back on Nov 22, 2020. Nothing from December '21.
EDIT: and another from October 2018:
Last edited:
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2019
Yeah........I couldn't find anything either.
He's in a situation where he will struggle to be able to even reach affiliate level, where subs and cheers will be available.
Crooked 16th mentioned that Phil slipped up and admitted that he was getting his groceries delivered in January, on the 22nd back in the original thread.
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2019
Thanks. Just went down that rabbit hole and it bore no fruit. Just a bunch of speculation.
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2020
This one's pretty good from March 2020. They only order food to be delivered on the day off and cook the other 6 days of the week.
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2021
Damn I was sure I remembered something like it, alas (look Phil I can do it as well) we were wrong.
- Joined
- May 5, 2020
Not to mention stupid, because it's waving a big red flag that says "I CAN'T GET BY ON MY OWN I HAVE TO SCAM PEOPLE". You think Max Dood ever has to put a gun to the head of any of his playthroughs? Nope. There are certain things he can cover on his channel that simply won't get as much in views, and he just deals with it, like a pro. Phil, like a baby, has to force everything he streams into the same level of tip intake, because his selection is about him (as in him avoiding ironic entertainment), his stream is about him, and he can't possibly earn that money on his own. He has to extort it, from tards.
The fact that he keeps going like is just... utterly exceptional. That's really the only thing you can call it. Mongo from the movie Blazing Saddles had more dignity.
Screenshots like that prove it isn't always deliberate, too, like his gross noises directly into the mic are. This is what I mean by Phil damaging his own rep on a daily by insisting on keeping as many things off the "Don't do these on camera" list as possible. It may be small, picking his ear, combing hair back to poorly hide his baldness, keeping that awful patchy beard, and a million other things, but they still contribute to demonstrating that when us mentally-deranged detractors tell people stuff about Phil, we're on point.
Phil completely fucks himself out of controlling the narrative by ignoring reality to the extent that he does. He could do a lot of damage to us just by cleaning up his act in small ways, like fixing his snorting and throat-clearing problems. That would be two memes killed off for good, and that wouldn't be a bad start for him.
I don't know why I'm supposed to believe that ANYONE would order out ONLY on the day they have the most time on their hands, and cook on the days when they supposedly have very little time.
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2019
Alluyah!
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- Joined
- Nov 20, 2020
Those twig arms...