Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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In terms of respectable critics, I'd listen to the Barenaked Ladies over Bob on what movies to watch.
You're not alone on that one. A healthy chunk of critics that started at or after Bob have eclipsed him in views.

Mr. Sunday Movies is a great example. The channel was created seven years after Bob. They recently released the Matrix Revolutions review which hit 76k in 13 hours.

Bob hit 35k in 5 days.

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The MCU seems to be a hybrid of Marvel proper and the Ultimates

The Avengers coming together with definitely more Ultimates given Shield's involvement.

Nick Fury is Ultimate Nick.

Hawkeye having a wife Laura and kids is from the Ultimates.

Hulk's origin being a continuation of the Super Soldier Program is Ultimates.

Thor's personality while not a match to either 616 or Ultimates does lean more Ultimates IMO.

Falcon is Ultimates Falcon morphed into 616 Falcon/Captain America.

Younger version of May is Ultimates.

To name some.

To address the Blobby being a Silver Age fan as mentioned in the Thread no way. If a Silver Age Purist he would had hated Avengers 2012 because of the Ultimates influences and there being no Ant-Man or Wasp. He also would had hated AOU for the Changes of making Ultron Tony's creation instead of Hank Pym's.

IMO Bobert now sees Snyder as a Dudebro and thus he hates all Snyder touches.
Oh yeah, forgot the obvious one about ultimate Nick Fury being 1 to 1 Samuel L. jackson, how could I forget that. And Thor was more ultimates, heck, you even see Ultimate Thor picking up chicks in nightclubs, I could never see Walt Simonson's Thor doing that.

yeah, one thing to keep in mind is that the Ultimate universe, is that it came out by in 2000's, back when the capeshit movies were really starting to get off the ground for real with stuff like Spiderman (2002) and X-men (2000), and capeshit flicks started to really look good, and not the embarrassment they usually were.

So maybe the ultimate universe was indeed seen by Marvel as fancy test ground/storyboard for ideas they could adapt into movies.

it is just... the Ultimate comics always had this vibe of tryhard you know, too much tryhard to be taken as grownup smart stories, they also tryhard to be as much of a big blockbuster spetacle, too tryhard to make these big emotional moments, but nothing really connected you know, or was it just me.

Other thing I remember was sex in the ultimate comics, I'm no prude, and you do have plenty examples of characters in bed with eachother on 616, but geez, I felt like outside Spider-man, every issue in the ultimate comics someone was banging.
 
An insane idiot supports "fortifying" elections for Democrat candidates because there is no such thing as a bad tactic:
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Since he refuses to click through ever Robert doesn't know that this is about ballot harvesting, something which is expressly illegal in many states. He could know that without clicking by seeing the word "harvesting" but obviously that was too much of a burden on being a Thinker too.

Robert, of course, also doesn't know that ballot harvesting was how Republicans tried to steal a congressional race in North Carolina. But no bad tactics I suppose: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2018_North_Carolina's_9th_congressional_district_election

Nor is he aware that Massachusetts does not allow the practice of ballot harvesting.
 
I didn't know his opinion on Age of Ultron, but I just looked it up due to your post. He loves it and thinks it better than even the first Avengers movie?

Another moral failing for MovieBob.
He liked it because there were more Avengers, more action scenes, and he could pretend it was deeper with those dream sequences that get resolved pretty quickly. Also, you know he cheered like a loon when Iron Man fought Hulk.
 
nono, see, the Robots of the Holy Soopeeryah Fyootchah ™️ would be doing all the delivering! And all the other jobs, because hyooman labor is obsolete! All humanity needs now is Thinkers ™️ not laborers!
How about a literal Starship™?
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Bobby accuses "stupid people" like Jared Schmeck of sloganism:
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I'd like to hear Bobby explains inflation, so I can assess his moral intelligence. BTW, are the "corrupt" (whose interests the "stupid" serve) evil? Apparently they are able to manipulate the "stupid" so they can't be "stupid" themselves, but if they aren't "stupid" then they can't be evil either?

"Fuck Trump" is adult-speak; "Fuck Biden" is not.
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Rowling. I don't think she is "one of the most brilliant woman of her age" by a long shot, but she is neither stupid nor evil.
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Time is money to Bobby, hence he spends so much money on Twitter. He is lessening the suffering of the world by "affirming" trannies.
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Don't Look Up seems to be a political issue for Bobby. I thought it is just a movie?
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"My company name".
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Yes, even sandniggers may have heard of men sticking it in each other's bums, but these are examples of LGBT as objects of derision, as deviant losers. The US military and their Emmas With Two Moms present LGBTs as oppressors and destroyers of ways of lives and culture, and this is this very concept, not the concept of LGBT per se, that generate violent reactions. Bobby fails to see it because he is even more stupid than Peter Coffin.

China. I agree with Bobby that if the US has failed so spectacularly trying to control Cuba, they are courting embarrassment or worse if they are to raise shit with China.
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The Worst Person We Know is sorta right again. It is a myth that workers share a common interest qua workers.

Sir Robert white-knights Oliver Lennard ("Philosophy Tube"; "Abigail Thorn"), who has just been revealed to have been bought by the UK gov.
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Bimbo Politics hates bitcoin more than he hates his penis.
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No two of our girls are the same in the Marie Suzanne Jardin de Plasir.
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Some nutters are trying to drag Batman into a Marxist discourse...
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...Bobby counters with a redder herring: QAnon.
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Bobby knows what are real and what are not:
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Someone claims the new Matrix has "no woke bs"; Luke is having none of it.
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Stanning for Cyrano, hence Peter Dinklage:
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The song is inoffensive but trite; the music is generic and the lyrics give no sensual pleasure. If the legendary Cyrano wrote like this he would have been dunked in a nightpot.

Angel cries foul:
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Now here's a they-them. Not sure if Angel:
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JK Rowling is perfectly lovely to troons. Literally her stance is do whatever the fuck you want but let women (actual women) have their own spaces. Honestly the whole JK situation pisses me off. I don't put a lot of stock in author's world views, and JK has had no shortage of weird, stupid takes, but the amount of people acting like she's personally going around murdering trannies is mind boggling.

Especially all the actors that she basically made famous and wealthy, what a bunch of ingrates.

Sorry for the tism, anyway Bob's covid plan is/was unworkable and if intelligence is related to morality, those takes alone should qualify him for 40 to life.
 
How about a literal Starship™?
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I'm glad someone asked Bob about this and he responded. He literally is incredibly dumb to think somehow the government can use all these robots to feed the planet. Also that he doesn't view government employees as humans apparently. And that he thinks the world governments could somehow run the entire global economy for more than like a few hours.
Rowling. I don't think she is "one of the most brilliant woman of her age" by a long shot, but she is neither stupid nor evil.
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SUPER gold-star transphobia:
JK Rowling said:
when I read about a trans woman dying at the hands of a violent man, you’d find solidarity and kinship. I have a visceral sense of the terror in which those trans women will have spent their last seconds on earth, because I too have known moments of blind fear when I realised that the only thing keeping me alive was the shaky self-restraint of my attacker.

I believe the majority of trans-identified people not only pose zero threat to others, but are vulnerable for all the reasons I’ve outlined. Trans people need and deserve protection. Like women, they’re most likely to be killed by sexual partners. Trans women who work in the sex industry, particularly trans women of colour, are at particular risk. Like every other domestic abuse and sexual assault survivor I know, I feel nothing but empathy and solidarity with trans women who’ve been abused by men.

So I want trans women to be safe
JK Rowling said:
of course trans rights are human rights and of course trans lives matter
Time is money to Bobby, hence he spends so much money on Twitter. He is lessening the suffering of the world by "affirming" trannies.
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"workstation"
So you're stuck in a Windows Update loop at your "workstation" but are somehow tweeting through it. Courage.
"Avengers vs. X-Men" is a reasonable prediction for some point in the future. "Avengers vs. X-Men vs. Eternals" is not, especially for 2022.
Some nutters are trying to drag Batman into a Marxist discourse...
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...Bobby counters with a redder herring: QAnon.
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He sure is going to force this movie into his QAnon theory no matter what.

Also this is not what the Court of Owls nor League of Assassins is about and neither of them is similar. Why he keeps repeating this is left up to smarter minds than me.
Someone claims the new Matrix has "no woke bs"; Luke is having none of it.
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If you're pointing to a song playing over the end credits of a movie from 1999 to claim there's "woke bs" in your movie then you're trying too hard. Especially when nothing about that song except the literal meaning of the chorus has anything to do with your movie's plot or message.

Tom Morello is a perfect example of a champagne socialist who dabbles in more extreme views solely to look hip with the kids. Zack de la Rocha is rather not. The latter also hates Hillary and globalism, two of Bob's most precious Thinker positions, so he should probably call Rage out for being TRUMPER TRASH.
 
Boob.

He censored boob.

Robert you spastic motherfucking microdicked goatblowing tardraging piece of shit with a fucking terminal case of resting autist face, that's not even obscene. Your thirst posts show tons of non-nipple tit but the word is a line too far? Does other calculator display cussing like 7734 also still make you giggle?
This is the same guy that wrote a review where one of the first words was "fingerbang" and didn't censor it.
 
How about a literal Starship™?
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So Bobs plan is to lockdown almost all of the civilian population and replace the transportation industry with the military because robots would never fucking work. I can't even begin to think up all the reasons why that's a terrible idea, from the inherent danger of giving the military almost total control over who gets food and supplies to the famously inefficient logistics of the military, to the possibility that the government just won't have enough people to do it in the first place. And how long did he think this would last for, because no matter what anyone says, the only thing lockdowns ever did was slow the spread and would never completely stop it unless you had people locked in hermetically sealed rooms. So he's planning on having most of the population stuck in their homes for at least several months to more likely several years and expects the population to be fine with this, and that the agricultural and food processing industry wouldn't collapse in a matter of weeks of this plan being enacted. I'm not even shocked any more but he might be even more out of touch than Chris-chan himself.
 
So Bobs plan is to lockdown almost all of the civilian population and replace the transportation industry with the military because robots would never fucking work. I can't even begin to think up all the reasons why that's a terrible idea, from the inherent danger of giving the military almost total control over who gets food and supplies to the famously inefficient logistics of the military, to the possibility that the government just won't have enough people to do it in the first place. And how long did he think this would last for, because no matter what anyone says, the only thing lockdowns ever did was slow the spread and would never completely stop it unless you had people locked in hermetically sealed rooms. So he's planning on having most of the population stuck in their homes for at least several months to more likely several years and expects the population to be fine with this, and that the agricultural and food processing industry wouldn't collapse in a matter of weeks of this plan being enacted. I'm not even shocked any more but he might be even more out of touch than Chris-chan himself.
He has no idea that COVID got to the United States because no country in the world wanted to strand their citizens elsewhere for an unspecified amount of time. That's how it hopped from China to Europe to New York and then the rest of the United States.

He thinks Trump should have simply closed the borders to all travelers and welded everyone in their houses and had the military take over the economy in an election year. And maintained this until COVID went away completely.
 
So Bobs plan is to lockdown almost all of the civilian population and replace the transportation industry with the military because robots would never fucking work. I can't even begin to think up all the reasons why that's a terrible idea, from the inherent danger of giving the military almost total control over who gets food and supplies to the famously inefficient logistics of the military, to the possibility that the government just won't have enough people to do it in the first place. And how long did he think this would last for, because no matter what anyone says, the only thing lockdowns ever did was slow the spread and would never completely stop it unless you had people locked in hermetically sealed rooms. So he's planning on having most of the population stuck in their homes for at least several months to more likely several years and expects the population to be fine with this, and that the agricultural and food processing industry wouldn't collapse in a matter of weeks of this plan being enacted. I'm not even shocked any more but he might be even more out of touch than Chris-chan himself.
I'm sure Bob thinks the military has enough thinkers in charge now to carry out his superior futuristic dreams regardless of the obsolete chuds in the rank and file but morale is at an all time low and trying to do something like this would undoubtedly end up in a complete disaster that shatters what's left of the US Military's image.
 
How about a literal Starship™?
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He does realize the National Guard are reservists so have actual lives and jobs and things and activating them would just end up taking the ones who had truck driving experience (i.e. truck drivers) and installing them as truck drivers, effectively playing musical chairs from an existing working (kinda) system into a new untested one? A new untested one run not by impersonal market forces but by a person sitting at a desk who got there because they played the political game and - likely these days - wears a dress because they like the way the draft tickles their balls?

It's like reading the collected writings of Marx translated by someone whose diet consists of paste and paint chips.
 
Oh yeah, forgot the obvious one about ultimate Nick Fury being 1 to 1 Samuel L. jackson, how could I forget that. And Thor was more ultimates, heck, you even see Ultimate Thor picking up chicks in nightclubs, I could never see Walt Simonson's Thor doing that.

yeah, one thing to keep in mind is that the Ultimate universe, is that it came out by in 2000's, back when the capeshit movies were really starting to get off the ground for real with stuff like Spiderman (2002) and X-men (2000), and capeshit flicks started to really look good, and not the embarrassment they usually were.

So maybe the ultimate universe was indeed seen by Marvel as fancy test ground/storyboard for ideas they could adapt into movies.

it is just... the Ultimate comics always had this vibe of tryhard you know, too much tryhard to be taken as grownup smart stories, they also tryhard to be as much of a big blockbuster spetacle, too tryhard to make these big emotional moments, but nothing really connected you know, or was it just me.

Other thing I remember was sex in the ultimate comics, I'm no prude, and you do have plenty examples of characters in bed with eachother on 616, but geez, I felt like outside Spider-man, every issue in the ultimate comics someone was banging.

Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver were fucking each other too, right? Incest, very mature.
 
Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver were fucking each other too, right? Incest, very mature.
Its actually worse. Wolverine speculates Quicksilver's love of Wanda is because of Quicksilver's love of Magda (I think that was her name), Quicksilver's mother.

Also, Wasp tells Captain America he's an old fashion fuddy duddy for thinking that the relationship was weird. And, Ultron was like a butler robot that wanted to get with Wanda so it killed Quicksilver. Ultimates 3 revolved a lot about who wanted to bang the Scarlet Witch.

Of all the ultimate stuff I read, the only that were worth reading that I remember were Ultimates 1 (basically a grittier Avengers 2012), Ultimates 2 was worse but had some moments, the first run of Miles Morales, just because I thought it was funny that everyone in NYC thought Miles wearing Peter's costume right after he died was unbelievably tacky, Ultimate Thor was okay, though it was mostly just to bring the myth of Thor into the universe of the Ultimates, and the collection for when Peter Parker died and they held a funeral was one I found rather touching.

"For those few... there is a great hall. For those faithful,. there is providence. For the heroes... there is Valhalla. And there-- in that place-- legends never die"

-Ultimate Thor, at Peter's funeral, while the panels show Peter and other heroes who had died at that point feasting in Valhalla.
 
As for Captain Planet, he had a brief appearance on a single episode of OK KO. It was pretty funny. Otherwise, in terms of a "serious" reboot, I can see why nobody's really tried it. The series and premise is so damn silly and ridiculous it's hard to make an audience take it seriously. You could try, but of course, a Captain Planet movie would only a stepping stone to the true endgame goal: A Hanna Barbara Superhero Cinematic Universe!
I know what the standard arguments about why you can't make an interesting film about Superman are - they are wrong (I am a casual Supes fan) but I understand the challenge. Especially if you don't "get" what makes Superman work. Captain Planet, however, has every bit of the Superman problem - only worse because in every story of his, he doesn't even exist for two-thirds of it!

The closest you could come to anything resembling a story with him would be some kind of prequel - where maybe Captain Planet starts out a hero but then slowly loses it and goes more and more extreme after dealing with humans for too long. Thus explaining why he has to be kept in a bottle, his powers divided up and only let out for limited periods of time.
 
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