What are the dumbest names people’s parents cursed them with?

[дядя Боря]

The other day, my boyfriend linked to me a Mormon name generator from this blog where apparently they're legit names found through birth/church records. I refused to believe it for a minute until I remembered the feeling of "WTF" I had when I saw names listed on that nursery list years back, and I died on mic.

These are but a small fraction of the boy names.
View attachment 2835274
Note that I've been completely unaware of the stupid names church members have given their kids because everyone else I knew had normal fucking names, even the ones that had the snowflake spelling that's common among Millennials.

It's easy to criticize someone with name Hui in Russia while it would be legit normal in 'nam. I'm not familiar with Mormon mythology, but I'm sure that VerDean is some great leader who slayed 1000 bears and fucked 1000 wives, or some other awesome feat. Unless you are in the cult, you'd not know or appreciate the awesome.

It's probably not the same with niggerology since there is no written or oral kultcha accounts being propagated through generations, so we are talking of different kinds of stupid.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

It's easy to criticize someone with name Hui in Russia while it would be legit normal in 'nam.

That's what Behind the Name is for. If I have a question about a name, I look it up to see if the etymology is legit somewhere in the world. Most of the names I checked from the generator didn't pull up anything, and the best I can think of is maybe there are some Mormons who are trying to get as close to one's heavenly name (because if we have heavenly parents, why wouldn't they name their spirit children? *taps temple*) as possible by making up a name that sounds exotic. Which I think is hilarious, honestly.

You'd think religious people would be more likely to give their kids biblical names instead of... Revvel.

I'm not familiar with Mormon mythology, but I'm sure that VerDean is some great leader who slayed 1000 bears and fucked 1000 wives, or some other awesome feat. Unless you are in the cult, you'd not know or appreciate the awesome.

Never heard of a VerDean, and Google is only pulling up a 2015 movie Don Verdean. If some dude actually did something awesome and the parent(s) decided to name a kid after that kind of awesomeness, that's great, but it's still obscure enough that don't be surprised if other people give you weird looks for the names you give your kids.

 

[Neurotypical Mantis]

The other day, my boyfriend linked to me a Mormon name generator from this blog where apparently they're legit names found through birth/church records. I refused to believe it for a minute until I remembered the feeling of "WTF" I had when I saw names listed on that nursery list years back, and I died on mic.

These are but a small fraction of the boy names.
View attachment 2835274
Note that I've been completely unaware of the stupid names church members have given their kids because everyone else I knew had normal fucking names, even the ones that had the snowflake spelling that's common among Millennials.

this is just fantasynamegenerators, it's probably dicey

 

[Kari Kamiya]

this is just fantasynamegenerators, it's probably dicey

I'm inclined to believe it's not making shit up after seeing "Edge" was listed as a legit name for the nursery roster. It's the only name I can remember from that list because everything else looked too foreign and made up to have even been real names used somewhere in the world. One of the randomized names is "Canyon" which I can totally believe some weird Utah Mormon family would name their kid.

 

[Ice Mountain]

A buddy of mine used to work with a woman who had three kids named Jordaan, Alexxis, and Sydnee.
Sydnee is okay, I guess, but the other two... imagine having a name that legit looks like a typo.

 

[Realistic Elephant]

The other day, my boyfriend linked to me a Mormon name generator from this blog where apparently they're legit names found through birth/church records. I refused to believe it for a minute until I remembered the feeling of "WTF" I had when I saw names listed on that nursery list years back, and I died on mic.

These are but a small fraction of the boy names.
View attachment 2835274
Note that I've been completely unaware of the stupid names church members have given their kids because everyone else I knew had normal fucking names, even the ones that had the snowflake spelling that's common among Millennials.

The names sound like an average weekend's police blotter in the hood.

 

[Pocket Dragoon]

Same with Porsha.

I've known two who pronounced their name that way, but it's actually spelled "Portia".

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Tahani. It just sounds trashy.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Back in August/September 2020 I found myself in a basic tech support call center for Cleveland schools as they were kicking off remote learning. I came across lots of fascinating ghetto trash names. But the one that stuck out to me was some poor girl named Jihada

 

[Unyielding Stupidity]

Hyphenated names are almost always exceptionally trashy, but I encountered a particularly awful one in person recently:

Spoiler: This is an actual person's first name

Princess-Sofia

Considering they were in their twenties, I'm suprised they didn't choose to change it.

 

[thegooddoctor]

Keith, the least manly male name ever.

 

[Splinters RCVD ✞]

 

[BunnyMim]

Saw a medical record where this chick named her retarded son Kush

 

[Hitman One]

Once worked with a man named Wayne Bruce, also known as ManBat.

 

[Meat Target]

If you do this to your kids, you should be arrested for child abuse.


Also, creepy old man names like Richard, Herbert, Randall, George, Eugene, etc.

 

[RunRufusRun]

The woman ringing up my groceries lasst week was named Amiracle. Same store had a guy named SirJohn working there.

 

[GenociderSyo]

Watching a True Crime show and the victim is a woman named Tequilla.

 

[Bunny Tracks]

Tahani. It just sounds trashy.

I actually used to work with someone named Tahani, and the number of times I accidentally called her 'Tahini' was astronomical.

Thank god she was a very chill person, because if she wasn't I know I would've gotten my ass beat.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Met a chick named Campbell. She was dumber than soup.

 

[UnKillFill]

Sneakerella?