What are the dumbest names people’s parents cursed them with?

Two standouts when I used to work customer service are a woman named Latin Princess Spirit and a man named A. Fluffy Bunny.
I looked up Mr. Bunny and he doesn't meet the requirement of his parents cursing him with the name, is a gay old man and, if I remember correctly, a pretty big figure in the NYC gay community.
 
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A few years ago I remember reading about a codeworded investigation into NSA leaks about political interference. They had codenamed the mole "REALITY WINNER", only as I read more I realised that was actually, really her name.

I have no idea what possesses you to name your kid like this, but it's true. If you've not read the story of the leaks, it's worth doing so, because the wheels fell off the whole thing because of badly handled receipts.

 
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Every country of latin america has a bunch of ignorant niggers who don't know how to spell english or foreign names, and yet they insist on using them. So they write the name down the way it sounds.

There has been an influx of boys named Braian or Brayan (the literal pronunciation of Brian) in the past years. The problem is that name is usually associated with low-class families and criminals, so kids make fun of those boys.
These are a few examples I saw in my previous job: Stiven (Steven), Yovani (Giovanni), Yeferson (Jefferson), Greyci (Gracie), and my favorite, Esnáider (Snider).

There are so many beautiful normal names, and cool indigenous names, but the retards choose to ruin their children's lives with those shitty ones.
 
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I can't think of any off the top of my head, but my mom wanted to name me "Jansen". Thank sky wizard my dad told her she's a fucking idiot. That is not a name you give a an American white boy if you want them to survive public school. That name would be painful to have in high school these days.
"Janny Janny, does it for free!".
 
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I was at the supermarket today when I saw a Nordic blonde mother sing out for her child, "Alfredo! Alfredo, where are you?" which was a wtf all by itself. I know it's a legit name but it's also a legit pasta and I've never come across it as a irl name in all my life. Then the boy comes running up and he's brown with an absolutely stunning 'fro. Something something culture clash.
 
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*smacks blowjob sized lips*
Kingmessiah
 
There were two in GP at a unit I worked at named Optimus Prime and Astroroid, both black. Not "Asteroid", but "Astroroid". Because his parents didn't know how to spell "Asteroid". The first time I saw Astroroid on the roster I asked him what his name meant because I was curious to see what he would say about it...."space rocks or sum shit" came the reply. I guess Optimus Prime is free nowadays bc I could not find him in the state search but I found an article about Astroroid's offense in the paper.
 
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Cats said:
I'd go by "Thurm" and change my last name to Sturm

Thurm Sturm sounds like a mythological norwegian Storm Giants name. Google Oliver Richters and tell me "Thurm" isn't a better name for him than "Oliver". That's a little baby orphan's name. Thurm is a fuckin skullcrushers name
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Sounds like Strom Thurmond, the famous 100 year old segregationist Senator from South Carolina. While in reality he was a pretty nuanced person, nowadays he's mostly known for being racist and fathering a bastard child with his family's black maid way back in the 20s. Probably not a good name anymore.
 
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