01/03/22 - 24 Hour Free Ralph Festival (now the 24 Hour Guntry Road Special) - Ralph intended to do a 24-hour stream the second day before his trial and is now stuck on I-95

[LonesomeDud]

Update: Ralph has been rescued by a black man
View attachment 2856177
Now he'll beg him to accept Meigh as a token of gratitude, JCaesar style.

I'd take you dying in a wreck to wasting some good man's time, too.

 

[BingBong]

Update: Ralph has been rescued by a black man
View attachment 2856177
Now he'll beg him to accept Meigh as a token of gratitude, JCaesar style.

Clearly, null caused that snowstorm.

 

[instythot]

So May has access to his twitter. Gonna be fun when the breakup happens

Halfway to proving my theory that Ralph violates the no contact order by posting on his horse's account

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

This whole saga reads like the plot of an always sunny episode

 

[Lame Entropy]

Clearly, null caused that snowstorm.

If a butterfly flapping its wings can cause a hurricane, I don't see why a pair of pigeons flapping their wings can't cause a snowstorm.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I love that his nonexistent impulse control led to him getting off the interstate to try to take on unplowed back roads in Meigh’s shitbox. As much as he hates broke dick farms and Josh Moon, Ethan Ralph has no bigger enemy (literally) than himself.

 

[Retink]

Update: Ralph has been rescued by a black man
View attachment 2856177
Now he'll beg him to accept Meigh as a token of gratitude, JCaesar style.

"Why thank yah! You have been most helpful to the Ralphamale clan despite being a negroid. Please accept the gratitude of having a ride on my here horse, Meigh!"
"The fuck is wrong with you boy!? I ain't touching no tranny."

 

[HarveySperg41]

You know it’s nice to see Ralph being consistent. Consistent poor decisions, year after year.

 

[instythot]

I love that his nonexistent impulse control led to him getting off the interstate to try to take on unplowed back roads in Meigh’s shitbox. As much as he hates broke dick farms and Josh Moon, Ethan Ralph has no bigger enemy (literally) than himself.

Like there's a chance that the backroads in may's shitbox are unplowed after Ade told us how fixated Ralph is on ass stuff

 

[Escalating Violence]

be it in rain or shine, 10 miles away or 10 thousand, gator will always be there to sweep the path for his mensch ethan ralph
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I wish I had a friend as loyal as Gator.

 

[David Spadem]

 

[Patrick X Tomlinson]

If he'd had to walk the snow would've been up to his nipples since he's only 5'1.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

There’s a line of water on the dashboard that runs parallel to what appears to be a crack in the windshield. These two queers sure are a couple of busted wiggers.

 

[Bowl of Ramen]

To be fair, RIC was slammed with cancellations today. His best shot at getting home in a decent hour was a layover in ATL for DL2257, which was on time. Everything else was late/canceled/at an out of the way airport for a connection. Maybe the exception being one AA flight in the evening from CLT.

But this is Ralph, so.

 

[Mr. Skeltal]

Maybe it just comes with growing up where it's always cold but I don't understand how this sort of shit happens. I know Ralph is a dumbass but like just plan your route ahead carefully or don't drive if you don't know what you're doing. Simple. Driving on an unplowed road is the epitome of retarded winter driving if you aren't in some jacked up 4runner or something.

Ralph should have some experience with snow driving being from the eastern US and all but I suppose West Memphis is a bit south for real snowfall. Then again we all know his driving prowess thanks to the sacrifice of the late superchat mobile.

Driving a shitbox car over unplowed roads is a dangerous proposition. Having that shitbox be a sedan or wagon is just asking for trouble. Ralph is an impulsive moron so it would make sense that he would try it. Instead of shaving minutes to hours off of his trip he's added hours to days instead.

 

[murdered meat bag]

4WD ain't what it used to be. All the electronic traction control they use now does all the wrong things when you're stuck.

do they even lock the diffs? i had manual lockers in the front. a god send.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

Saw this:

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1478163744945541123

tl;dr: Someone pointed out that a 10PM start time for his epic marathon would've made more sense. To which Ralp replies:

"Yea it was gonna be, you don't know shit. I was in my car and going down the road. Without the snowstorm I make it. I left Dulles before 8AM."

So you left Dulles in a rental car shortly before 8AM. To make the 2 (or more) hour drive to Richmond.

HE LEFT DULLES ALMOST AN HOUR AFTER HIS MARATHON STREAM WAS SUPPOSED TO START.

Edit: Yes, I fucked up. The show was supposed to start at 7am Pacific/10 am Eastern and I got the Pacific time mixed up for the Eastern time.

 

[Reaper King]

"Those gawddamn Karen Farms fayguts sent me in this faukin snow storm! dat gawd dayum paedofiewl Jawsha Caunner Mewn set me up in dis bewlshit snow sterm. And fuck yew Fagminco yew worthless piece of sheit, I bet black people don't even like yew, dey fukin love me, dey saved my ass and is bringen me to what dey call a 'pig shack', which if I had to guess is where dey do cool black guy stuff, yew fucking faggot. CANT ABAURT DA RETURT!!"

 

[Ebony Way]

I'm such a dumbass, it genuinely never occurred to me the US would have black farmers.

This is shartenfreude in its purest form. I love it.

Quoting because "shartenfreude" deserves not to die, and really should be the name of the entire forum.

 

[ColtWalker1847]

do they even lock the diffs? i had manual lockers in the front. a god send.

Many systems use electric selectable lockers tied to the traction control cpu, so yeah. The problem is getting the cpu to do what you want it to. You can't just turn it to "ON" it's gotta be "super-duper extra traction sport mode with chocolate sprinkles" that you program through a convoluted touch screen menu.