01/03/22 - 24 Hour Free Ralph Festival (now the 24 Hour Guntry Road Special) - Ralph intended to do a 24-hour stream the second day before his trial and is now stuck on I-95

[Null]

i swear Ralph can't be that old.

I think he's 36. I used to say 38 but IIRC I was wrong.

Ethan Ralph/Age
36 years
September 20, 1985

 

[Comandante Marcos]

If that farmer didn’t come by with his tractor he would definitely be dead by now. Ralph is the kind of person who wouldn’t know to keep the exhaust clear of snow while he’s running the engine for heat. Or he’d have the engine running constantly and run out of gas so he dies of hypothermia.

I didn't read the whole fucking 27 pages, but apparently Ralph was on some unplowed back country WAAAAYYYY off the beaten path road, got stuck, had no phone service and/or battery power left, and the only thing that saved him from freezing to death was a black guy who happened upon him by sheer chance, didn't know who he was, and pulled him to safety with a tractor. I wonder what his gf would've done once she realized that Gunt her car was never coming back. Depeche Mode has been proven right again-God has a sick sense of humor indeed.

 

[Dickxon]

Ethan Ralph/Age
36 years
September 20, 1985

DEW AH LOOK 36 YEAHRS TO YEW MUTHAFUCKURR??!

 

[The Hard R]

Gunts age in dog years.

It's 90% booze 10% genetics. I'm close in age to the gunt, and have seen it happen to many people I grew up with, even the ones with good genetics get fat and gray with a few years of heavy drinking once you're in your 30's.
I'm sure the cocaine isn't helping either.
I wager he'll be dead within 5 years from some sort of organ failure, heart attack, or stroke.

Take care of your body kids, life will hit you fast if you don't.

 

[Herpes Complex]

Update: Ralph has been rescued by a black man
View attachment 2856177
Now he'll beg him to accept Meigh as a token of gratitude, JCaesar style.

The Gunt has revised this "rescue" to include another six people, and a chainsaw. What the chainsaw did is a question that can only be answered by a double dipped, deep fried gunt.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

LMFAO he really did try and take some unplowed backroad. God what a fucking idiot.
View attachment 2856189

He sounds out of breath from just driving

 

[Neil]

Shout out to the supreme feeder, Null for sending out that black sleeper agent from our international network of farmers. His quick thinking saved Gunt's life and secured the prophesized bountiful corn harvest for many more years to come.

Semper Fi.

 

[Killdozer Enthusiast]

He's already made up his mind that Virginia sucks. The move to Vegas is now inevitable.

The sad thing for him is he can't move to Vegas. Then he'd have no good excuse not to try to see his son.

 

[NulWillBecomeTranny]

mutt's law
5 posts

 

[beautiful person]

god he sounds like absolute shit

also he cut his hair for court. I thought he was growing it out to look younger so he wouldn't look like an old man in his sex crime trial, but now he looks old enough to be her dad again.

View attachment 2857489
View attachment 2857491

Sounds like there were other people taking that back road (or trying to) so he wasn't in as much danger as I had assumed.

 

[TitchBitties]

Gaydurr, papa's gotta go away for a while, you're the man of the house now

 

[Escalating Violence]

I 95 is a priority road, they start plowing it the moment the first flakes fall. The issue is not that it's impassable. If you look at all the video of the pavement you can see that the road is perfectly fine. The issue is the retards trying to drive on it like normal. I.e, at 85+ MPH. You can get away with that when it's bone dry in the summer. Not when there is an inch of snow and ice on it.

So Gunt is just being a bitch coping that he won't be able to do his 2nd shart special and pretending the highway is all snowed in?

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

There should be no reason anyone should have to drive in ice. Period. Just stay inside because it's not worth it.

Unfortunately that’s not possible in a lot of states.

 

[Sam Losco]

god he sounds like absolute shit

also he cut his hair for court. I thought he was growing it out to look younger so he wouldn't look like an old man in his sex crime trial, but now he looks old enough to be her dad again.

View attachment 2857489
View attachment 2857491

Everything he says in that video shows how he has no life experience outside the internet. "sheer force of will" "Bobcat tractor looking thing" Motherfucker, it's a John Deere tractor.
Amazed that it could not only plow snow but pull a car even though moving heavy things around is literally what those are designed to do.
"complete breakdown of society"
It was a winter storm. A bad one, but just a winter storm. FFS go outside more you fat piece of shit.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

I realized that Mother Nature decided to have a 24 hour Imprison Ralph fest herself.

 

[Null]

"complete breakdown of society"

The type of complete breakdown of society where if you just wait in your car and avoid freezing to death for, at most, 48 hours you will be rescued by government workers.

 

[Hüftpriester]

The Gunt has landed

This arc started with that thumb somewhere else....apropos.

Edit: JFC, that shirt is not flattering on him. Way too tight. He looks like shit even by his standards.

 

[beautiful person]

Everything he says in that video shows how he has no life experience outside the internet. "sheer force of will" "Bobcat tracker looking thing" Motherfucker, it's a John Deere tracker.
Amazed that it could not only plow snow but pull a car even though moving heavy things around is literally what those are designed to do.
"complete breakdown of society"
It was a winter storm. A bad one, but just a winter storm. FFS go outside more you fat piece of shit.

He sounds so goofy with how he describes everything. Makes it even funnier.

The Gunt has landed
View attachment 2857786

Bitch had him his sammich all ready for him.

 

[instythot]

How does a person end up with negative dignity?

First, you let a gender confused aficionado of hand drawn child pornography jizz in your holes while telling the world that you also enjoy hand drawn child pornography, then you let a fat drunk retard who refuses to wear underwear and shits his pants at 36 years old jizz in your holes. How does a person claw their way back to positive dignity after that?

 

[Null]

damn may cooked him up a sandwich that doesn't fit in his lap cuz of his gunt