The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%
  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%
  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%
  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%
  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%
  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%
  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%
  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%
  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%
  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%
  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%
  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%

  • Total voters
    2,258
Do people really believe the tranch's claims that neighbors are using drones to spy on them? Plenty of rural types and farmers use drones to quickly check their land and animals. Maybe they're just making sure the salted wasteland isn't affecting their properties too.
Who knows? They might be. If you had this freakshow next door to you, wouldn't you be tempted? It's sort of like when a lolcow claims they were bullied in school and gives ridiculous details. At the same time, you think well, that's ridiculous, but then you also think if I had had a chance to do that to this fuckwad when I was a kid, I probably would have.

Also they'd have perfectly valid reasons for collecting evidence if they ever have to sue these filthy animals for wrecking the environment on and around their property, including other people's property.
 
It probably is just obvious fraud like you say.

But I can’t shake the possibility that Penny is in fact working with someone from that community. The question would be why - the way they’re going about it makes zero sense on any genuine charitable grounds, and we can already see this is far from genuine.
So I come back to my money laundering theory. Supposing the Pine Ridge contact has a need to conceal income from some dubious source. Then it might make sense to spread it out across third party fundraisers that are not officially arranged by themselves - providing one layer of obfuscation and deniability.
The hard cash will get funnelled, untraceably, to the reservation and in return the tranch gets some more consumer trash from Amazon.

Here’s one indicator as to whether the above theory holds any water: the tranch’s fundraising ability has absolutely turned to shit over the last year. Their latest effort literally earned $40 or so iirc. So they’re desperate.
If they suddenly start magically drawing in thousands for some completely new and un-related cause, which why would any of their existing cashed-out Troon followership give a shit about - I’d say that’s a strong signal that something very fishy is going on.

SO remember that from my Tax Dox that the Tranch is now a 501c3 charity (and wasn't before when they said they were). THUS we will be able to see in the 2023 tax documents how much they pocketed vs how much they gave. Or if this is ~tax fraud~..... They have to give to charities related to their charity choice so they should be donating to troons and honey nut queerios. They also need to document it to get their charity benefits....

Screenshot_20220105-045536.png

Also here's how its goin. We have to play the waiting game or snoop around to put a timeline together and find "the natives" that are totally being helped.

White Ma'am's burden indeed.
 
I just had an interesting thought.

What if Kevin and Michael (Jen/shit-eater) don't actually pay $1000 a month in rent at all? What if that's just a lie that Penis, and the other two aforementioned mutants that share a bed with him, have created? What if it's just a thing they say to help avoid the serfs from asking too many questions?

Maybe there's no inheritance, or if there was, now it's gone? In either case, where the fuck is a moron like Michael the shit-eater pulling $1k per month from?

As far as I remember, Kevin is the only one who ever revealed his presumed contribution to the Ranch. So we have no idea in which way the others do or do not chip in.
 
As far as I remember, Kevin is the only one who ever revealed his presumed contribution to the Ranch. So we have no idea in which way the others do or do not chip in.
Earlier in this thread there were posts saying that Michael the shit-eater was also paying $1k a month in rent. I'll try to find it later, I have to leave for a bit but I should be back in several hours.

*on second thought, I now recall that I never saw any receipts from whoever was saying that, so I'd just be pointing at another post without a real source.
 
Last edited:
Caught up, sorry for long posting..

Ah, but then, who says Kevin can't be inflated with liquids? The possibilities are endless.
I love you bro but please, please think before you type. :c
IIRC they were angling for some kind of state or federal grant. Very self-sufficient off-the-grid fuck the police ancom of them, innit?
Considering Penny has always been some flavor of lolbritarian this is a very good point. His Libretarian principles have disguised themselves as anarchocommie principles but this is one of the few communist things he's done: attempted to leech off the government.

They are the north korea of farm self sufficiency.
Edit: now fucking Dances with Wolves is showing up in my suggestions for Amazon and Netflix.
I want Phil's honorary native name to be Dances with Furs or Spazes with Gun. Kevin's could be any number of retarded things.
You're assuming that there are any Injuns involved at all and they're not just a cover story to scam money from gullible woketards, I have seen no evidence that there are any Injuns involved posted in this thread. There have been no statements made either by the Tribe in question OR any supposed recipients of these donations that I know of. So either
I really hope they aren't retarded enough to scam them. The answer is "yes, they probably are," but I rather the people of the Reservation not have to go through a year long plus legal battle with these tards, who would squander all money before the courts force them to pay up.

The devious, elusive Earl sent another drone to harass the stunning and brave trans folx at the ranch! (No evidence included):
There's at least one retard outside looking at these things, just fucking shoot it. True, it would damage the property of someone else but it sends a message like the hairpin trigger badasses you pretend to be. Just fucking do it and stop showboating pussies.
They purchased (I believe) $700 worth of surveillance tech, including camera drones, during a grift around the start of 2021.

Which still wasn't used to capture footage of anything of substance.
They also got a generous donation of camera tech from a literal elder troon. Too lazy to find the post.
We haven't seen any dinner banquet feast pics in awhile, are the trannies on starvation rations?
I think Penny has become depressed or excessively lazy lately with the BonBon situation and winter's arrival. The troons could also be doing different jobs at different times and work best on a asynchronous schedule.
Thank you! This is so sad. He's an absent father.
I wonder how many other tranchers or tranch adjacent are absent parents. I'm betting we could find someone in addition to Neck and Penny.
At least he'd create a zillion gfm's for the "kiddos." OMG, this is even worse. Why is he grifting for strangers' kids, and not his own spawn.
They're not brown, can't use them for woke points. *yawn*
I'm usually very pro-nuclear family and view a father walking out as a terrible thing. But looking at how delusional, incompetent, and perverted Philip is. It's probably a good thing he isn't involved in his family's life.
It's always good to remember that some couples divorce for a reason. Some people's incompetence as parents doesn't manifest into every day life as brightly as others, there are probably some divorcees that you'll think "you could have been a reasonable parent" and then you spend time with them and go "oh, nevermind." Penny's retardation emerged slowly online to a lot of us, thinking him to be somewhat reasonable if retarded and slowly you can see that nope, not the case. I feel you, I love 2 parent households as well.
I bet the two of them are just a couple of pet retards Penis keeps around to feel better about himself.
We've confirmed this a while ago. They're basically his replacement children he doesn't need to worry about. He gets to use his fatherly instincts on them and they'll call him Mommy and Mistress without question, but can still feed themselves ans remember doctor's appointments. KevKev can't drive though :story:
Now that I think about it, I'd be more surprised if they both actually were paying $1k a month in rent.
Same.
They grew up having to listen to Penny bitching about it.
Phil left his kids at young ages, so maybe a bit but not much.
 
If you thought that Phil's tacticool video was funny, check out Jared's take on it. I'm not sure what's in his utility belt. Maybe a couple of dog chews is my guess.

View attachment 2858510
View attachment 2858509


Are those clothes Bonnie left behind or something? Never mind, they're too small.
 
It's only a negligent discharge if someone finds out. It's happened to me a few times:

>At friends apartment at college. Just bought my first pistol from a gun show (I was 18 )
>Drinking with friends
>Show them my new Jericho
>Try to manually decock
>Thumb slips on hammer, ND into celling
>Upstairs neighbors too high and drunk (underage and illegal drugs) to call the police.


Second time
>At range
>Showing friend pistol
>Think gun is unloaded
>Point at ground show him how to wrack and pull the trigger.
>Forgot loaded mag in
>Shoot between his feet


Third time
>At parents house.
>Just bought a sig from a guy
>Get home
>Try swapping slides with another sig I had
>Forgot the other sig slide was chambered.
>Pull trigger
>Shoot parents wall


Fourth time
>At my new house
>Playing with a friend's 5.56 AK
>Release bolt
Slam fires round into ground


Fith time
>Showing a friend how to use it
>No idea how but a round got chambered
>Show him how the trigger works,
>Pull trigger
>Shoots round into floor in the same place as before


Sixth time
>Thought maybe the house was haunted
>Grab a sig
>Physically clear it, (racked the slide 3 times) with no magazine in
> pull trigger at the same hole
>Round goes off


Turns out the sig's extractor got stuck somehow something got I to the spring

Seventh time
>Friend brings over a used Glock wants me to look over it
>I grab it and pull the trigger without clearing it
>Didn't even realize the thing was loaded.


Eighth time
>Friend brings over his transferable Mac 10
>I had no idea how open bolt guns worked.
>He's showing it off to me
>I put a loaded mag it and decided to try and release the bolt (I thought it shot from a closed bolt)
>Pulled the trigger for some reason
>Shot 3 rounds into my wall
Eight is not "discharged a few times", that is a pattern and a highly irresponsible one.

I am hoping that is a copypasta.
 
I’m continuing to get “season finale” vibes.
7B684E54-18D9-409E-9DAB-E897F629E815.jpeg


The fall out with Bonnie, and having to rebuff him from coming back to the ranch with Kindness might have been quite tough on Penny. That did require real leadership. After such watershed moments, it’s natural to do some reflection and consider what it is you’re the leader of.

The TUR is clearly completely unsustainable from a financial standpoint, they have huge outgoings even if you just consider animal feed and propane for heating. All their twitters are just continual e-begging now. Maybe it’s a final big push to get through the winter? That can’t be good for the soul for someone who thinks of himself as a rugged individualist.

Money aside, is it even serving the purpose he set it up for? Yes, the alpaca that have been rescued have had their lives extended. But they’re not exactly running free in a beautiful meadow enjoying life. Can the same be said for the troons in the ranch? From what we see of Kevin, he may as well be in a windowless dorm room. Are they doing anything worthwhile - is there an output to all of the consumption? I’ve seen no sign of any of the agricultural or other business ideas even come close to getting off the ground.

Penny’s also not well, can’t fix the truck, can’t do odd jobs to earn money, structures are falling apart and everyone around him except maybe Sky is useless.
Tenacity is great, but the snap, when it comes, is all the more powerful.
 
I’m continuing to get “season finale” vibes.
View attachment 2863823

The fall out with Bonnie, and having to rebuff him from coming back to the ranch with Kindness might have been quite tough on Penny. That did require real leadership. After such watershed moments, it’s natural to do some reflection and consider what it is you’re the leader of.

The TUR is clearly completely unsustainable from a financial standpoint, they have huge outgoings even if you just consider animal feed and propane for heating. All their twitters are just continual e-begging now. Maybe it’s a final big push to get through the winter? That can’t be good for the soul for someone who thinks of himself as a rugged individualist.

Money aside, is it even serving the purpose he set it up for? Yes, the alpaca that have been rescued have had their lives extended. But they’re not exactly running free in a beautiful meadow enjoying life. Can the same be said for the troons in the ranch? From what we see of Kevin, he may as well be in a windowless dorm room. Are they doing anything worthwhile - is there an output to all of the consumption? I’ve seen no sign of any of the agricultural or other business ideas even come close to getting off the ground.

Penny’s also not well, can’t fix the truck, can’t do odd jobs to earn money, structures are falling apart and everyone around him except maybe Sky is useless.
Tenacity is great, but the snap, when it comes, is all the more powerful.

The power of self-delusion never ceases to baffle me. This individual can look in a mirror and see a woman, and not Terry Richards in a party wig.
 
Penny’s also not well, can’t fix the truck, can’t do odd jobs to earn money, structures are falling apart and everyone around him except maybe Sky is useless.
What if he does retire soon? I wouldn't blame him, I think he should have packed it up before it even started but boy will it sting when he does. My real question is if he's going to move elsewhere with his slaves and get a job: I think Kevin would go out just a bit more if he had suburn/city life where he could meet his troon friends daily or on weekends (and maybe a room for his toys). Jen is a nonentity.

Actually, my real question is thus: can or would the ranch survive without him? Is there someone to step up to the plate of failure who won't turn the ranch on it's head in the name of salvaging it (see: anyone with sense) or Bonnie and Alyssa, America's favorite useless leeches? Or would he just sell/give away all the animals, send eviction notices, and sell the property with Sky?
 
I’m continuing to get “season finale” vibes.
View attachment 2863823

The fall out with Bonnie, and having to rebuff him from coming back to the ranch with Kindness might have been quite tough on Penny. That did require real leadership. After such watershed moments, it’s natural to do some reflection and consider what it is you’re the leader of.

The TUR is clearly completely unsustainable from a financial standpoint, they have huge outgoings even if you just consider animal feed and propane for heating. All their twitters are just continual e-begging now. Maybe it’s a final big push to get through the winter? That can’t be good for the soul for someone who thinks of himself as a rugged individualist.

Money aside, is it even serving the purpose he set it up for? Yes, the alpaca that have been rescued have had their lives extended. But they’re not exactly running free in a beautiful meadow enjoying life. Can the same be said for the troons in the ranch? From what we see of Kevin, he may as well be in a windowless dorm room. Are they doing anything worthwhile - is there an output to all of the consumption? I’ve seen no sign of any of the agricultural or other business ideas even come close to getting off the ground.

Penny’s also not well, can’t fix the truck, can’t do odd jobs to earn money, structures are falling apart and everyone around him except maybe Sky is useless.
Tenacity is great, but the snap, when it comes, is all the more powerful.
They started with this whole pie in the sky thing, but made the same fatal mistake that plagues other doomed ventures started by lolcows - their deciding criteria for who they brought with them wasn't related to skills, work ethic, or ability to press forward in the face of adversity. It was about who they thought their friends were, like this was a big cushy sleepover party. Why the fuck is someone like Kevin even there? Kevin brings a net negative to the Tranch with zero skills, no willingness to work, and expensive upkeep demands in terms of lifestyle and power consumption. They were more concerned with someone checking ideological boxes than with making sure someone was suitable for the project. I'm sure they turned away a lot of people who were willing and able to work hard but weren't exactly the same flavor of AGP as everyone else.

Bringing only friends to a venture like this has another important downside. Enforcing responsibilities becomes very difficult. Everyone wants special treatment from everyone else because they're all ~*~girl friends~*~. Didn't feed the animals like you said you would? Overslept and forgot to make breakfast when it was your turn? Eh, doesn't matter because there's no consequences. Dealing with conflict resolution is also fraught. People take everything personally because it is personal. This is the same situation as moving in with a friend sometimes is. It seems like a great idea at first and ends with an irreparably broken relationship 6 months later, except also add in all the challenges that come with trying to off-grid ranch on extremely marginal land. It's a lot more than arguing over the thermostat or who left toothpaste on the sink.

The only output of this entire venture is an endless stream of e-begging posts and a broken marriage.
 
Care to share this system?

Is it an auto-saving program that archives every post? That would be a kickass program for someone less retarded at programming than me to make...

(2022-01-26) For an up to date guide on how to archive tweets directly to archive.org or save a local copy, see my post in the Archival Tools thread.

If you want to archive to archive.today (today) using minimal clicks, the info is behind the spoiler:
First things first, I use computers as a hobby. I know there are much more elegant solutions with python, but I know just enough BASH to make it work. This won't hurt your computer, but it may hurt a programmer's eyes. I hope that someone will contribute a cleaner solution.

You have to run the script from a command line and it requires a twitter account with API access, which is instant these days. I was going to use twint to avoid needing a twitter account, but there were issues. This pulls the list of tweet id's, prepends the archive.today (KF wordfilters .today to .md) archiving url, then opens the list in your browser as a clickable list. Click the first link and solve the captcha, then you can just go down the list of urls and middle click and open them in a new tab. I briefly tried to get archive.org to also archive via a curl -I call a while back, but archive.org is not very dependable and sloooow. Fumbling my way through the awk and jq section was actually fun. Anyway, without further ado...

You need to have a twitter account. Remember that everything that you search for via the API is logged somewhere and tied to the IP, email, and phone number that registered the account. With that warning out of the way, visit https://developer.twitter.com/ and it will grant you instant API access. Create a project and save all the secret keys locally (you do use a password manager, right?).

Install twarc. Run twarc configure and enter the bearer token from the twitter dev site.

Create the following two +x files in the directory you're going to run it from, twb.sh and conv:
Code:
#!/bin/bash

#Twitter script

username=$1
startdate=$2
twarc2 --no-metadata timeline --exclude-retweets --start-time "$startdate" "$username" | jq -r '.data[].id' | awk '{print "https://archive.today/?run=1&url=https://twitter.com/'"$username"'/status/"$0}' | tee -a "$username".txt
./conv "$username".txt > "$username".html
brave-browser --password-store=basic file:///home/user/twitter/"$username".html &> /dev/null &
rm "$username".txt
rm twarc.log
clear
#sleep 5
#rm "$username".html
exit
Edit the file:// path to the location of the directory that you run the script from.

If you use firefox, replace brave-browser --password-store=basic with firefox -new-tab

You can uncomment the bottom lines to keep the dir clean, it might take some adjusting of the sleep command.
Code:
#!/bin/bash

#Twitter script

username=$1
startdate=$2
twarc2 --no-metadata timeline --exclude-retweets --start-time $startdate $username | jq -r '.data[].id' | awk '{print "https://archive.today/?run=1&url=https://twitter.com/'$username'/status/"$0}' | tee -a $username.txt
./conv $username.txt > $username.html
brave-browser --password-store=basic file:///home/user/twitter/$username.html &> /dev/null &
rm $username.txt
rm twarc.log
clear
#sleep 5
#rm $username.html
exit

Code:
#!/bin/bash

# Run this script on a file named urls.txt with all your URLs and pipe the output to an HTML file.
# Example: ./convert_url_file.sh > bookmarks.html
# Based on changes from Jan van den Berg: https://j11g.com/2019/08/15/create-a-chrome-bookmark-html-file-to-import-list-of-urls/
# Source: https://gist.github.com/Craterdome/50028e20a5d06178e6822405076a8711

echo "<!DOCTYPE NETSCAPE-Bookmark-file-1>"
echo '<META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=UTF-8">'
echo '<TITLE>Bookmarks</TITLE>'
echo '<H1>---</H1>'
echo '<DL><p>'
  cat "$1" |
  while read -r L; do
    echo -n '    <DT><A HREF="';
        echo ''"$L"'">'"$L"'</A>';
  done
echo "</DL><p>"
The usage is: ./twb.sh username date

This will provide a list of all the urls from the date listed until the current time, opened in the browser.

edit: You'll have to feel out the pace of how often the archive site will require you to solve a captcha again. Just don't go wild clicking 75 links in a row. I go in batches of about 25-30, let those get finished, then go back and do the next batch because I know it will ask for a captcha again around that time.
Code:
#!/bin/bash
# Run this script on a file named urls.txt with all your URLs and pipe the output to an HTML file.
# Example: ./convert_url_file.sh > bookmarks.html
# Based on changes from Jan van den Berg: https://j11g.com/2019/08/15/create-a-chrome-bookmark-html-file-to-import-list-of-urls/
# Source: https://gist.github.com/Craterdome/50028e20a5d06178e6822405076a8711
echo "<!DOCTYPE NETSCAPE-Bookmark-file-1>"
echo '<META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=UTF-8">'
echo '<TITLE>Bookmarks</TITLE>'
echo '<H1>---</H1>'
echo '<DL><p>'
  cat $1 |
  while read L; do
    echo -n '    <DT><A HREF="';
        echo ''"$L"'">'"$L"'</A>';
  done
echo "</DL><p>"
@awoo I think you mentioned twitter somewhere the other day although I think it was in context of archiving the tweets locally. twarc can do that, but I haven't looked into it too far.
edit: fixed the broken path, sorry about that if anyone tried it before
edit2: slight cleanup
edit3: put the old twitter info behind a spoiler, point towards Archival Tools thread
TODO: Switch out the twarc info to use snscrape to get the list of urls, condense info for this section into the Archival Tools topic.
 
Last edited:
Actually, my real question is thus: can or would the ranch survive without him? Is there someone to step up to the plate of failure who won't turn the ranch on it's head in the name of salvaging it (see: anyone with sense) or Bonnie and Alyssa, America's favorite useless leeches? Or would he just sell/give away all the animals, send eviction notices, and sell the property with Sky?
To continue with the same name attached I think it would need serious changes, and someone with independent income would have to take control. I could imagine a rich Silicon Valley troon taking over and gentrifying it more as an Airb&b style short term destination to those who can pay those prices - with the off grid, green ethos. Downsize the herd to half a dozen, keep on whichever of the field troons wants to keep working there, tending hoop-houses and so on to grow organic veg.
All the current permanent residents would have to go though, they’re emblematic of the problems with the place.

And there’s no way any of the current characters would have the wherewithal to keep it going as-is.
Or even the motivation to. The best revenge Bonnie ever made was to go radio silent. Now, in the imagination of the tranchers, he’s living a cosy, easy lifestyle, with the attentions of a real woman. Working electricity. Real job opportunities on the doorstep. He was one of them and he chose that over their lonely prison-planet existence with its barren landscape, chores and semi monastic lifestyle.
 
Last edited:
Back