Is it wrong to get slightly blackpilled about relationships when you've just about fucked yourself in every possible way from adolescence onward? At this point, I think I've workaholic'd my way through all the key moments you're supposed to develop flirting and relationship skills to a degree that it's completely foreign to me. My social skills aren't amazing, but I have a decent amount of friends and get along with my family and coworkers, but when it comes to meeting women, I just feel a deep apathy for anyone I meet or match with on apps. I don't really want to sympathize with the manosphere, but when you never really developed that "spark" for someone, it's so hard not to feel like you're constantly missing out on a fulfilling human experience and it gets really frustrating after awhile.
I think the broad nature of the internet can really screw with people in unintended ways because some of us end up with a general interest in a lot of things, but a dedicated interest in nothing. Instead of refining yourself and standing out in a specific way, you have to find other masters-of-none to relate to, which means your hobbies look more like a laundry list instead of a meaningful aspect of your life. You can type out that you're interested in video games, movies, TV, history, working out, etc. but unless you have enough to say on any of those topics, conversations just peter out and it's back to the grind.
This was autistic as fuck, I'm sorry. I just don't really have anywhere else to vent this sort of thing.
