Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[Coffee Druid]

Back when I used a particular social media more often, I joined a group for Wiccan and pagans in my state for the lols. It was predictably cringe. Some lady assuming her husband was cursed because he had bad luck and asking how ro fix it. Someone asking for a spell to make them win a bid on a house. Someone's kid is sick with a stomach bug and it must be the fault of bad juju or negative energy. I must have got myself banned by laugh reacting to posts because I couldn't access it one day. No loss.

That reminds me of one of the problems I have with neopagan people, primarily Wicca. It acts like you can just "magic away" any problem. There's a spell for this, and that. Now, I have no issue with someone using rituals or prayer to focus your thoughts and think about how to achieve your goals. Then using action. But many seem to think a spell is all you need. Secondly, the sheer amount of woo and ignoring of logic and facts is what gets me too.

Like some people said above, I'm also intrigued by pagan spiritualities in some ways. At least when it's about the cycle of nature, balance between male and female, etc. I'm no pagan, but while majoring in history I have a research interest in mythology and pagan spiritualities. Books from the 80s or 90s are less touched with wokeness. Druidry is particularly interesting. (My username is from playing one in D&D, I have no ties to them IRL) They seem more intent on nature, scientific study and facts, and learning about history. There's still probably a lot of weird people who are druids. But nothing compared to Wicca. They're like the more "down to earth" pagans and I don't hear about them as much. Maybe the internet witches are just louder.

 

[The Potatomatic 2000]

That reminds me of one of the problems I have with neopagan people, primarily Wicca. It acts like you can just "magic away" any problem. There's a spell for this, and that. Now, I have no issue with someone using rituals or prayer to focus your thoughts and think about how to achieve your goals. Then using action. But many seem to think a spell is all you need. Secondly, the sheer amount of woo and ignoring of logic and facts is what gets me too.

Oh yeah, the ridiculously specific "spells". It just tells me so much about the people who do those things. Now, I am not spiritual, but shouldn't that mean kind of trusting the universe/gods/whatever, instead of using "magic" like an Ebay for your life, where you can just order the exact fucking thing you want and have it delivered perfectly?

Another thing is the way they are specific and also ambiguous at the same time. Like they get super assmad about certain things, like you CAN'T put this piece of stone out on the sun and you CAN'T say this and that. It's a huge deal. But at the same time when they get called out for bullcrap, like mixing random cultures and traditions because UWU I like Egypt, but also Norse stuff looked cool on Insta, then they all go to "oooooh, do what works for you, you feel what your powers like" and other deflections.

 

[A Very Big Fish]

Oh yeah, the ridiculously specific "spells". It just tells me so much about the people who do those things. Now, I am not spiritual, but shouldn't that mean kind of trusting the universe/gods/whatever, instead of using "magic" like an Ebay for your life, where you can just order the exact fucking thing you want and have it delivered perfectly?

Another thing is the way they are specific and also ambiguous at the same time. Like they get super assmad about certain things, like you CAN'T put this piece of stone out on the sun and you CAN'T say this and that. It's a huge deal. But at the same time when they get called out for bullcrap, like mixing random cultures and traditions because UWU I like Egypt, but also Norse stuff looked cool on Insta, then they all go to "oooooh, do what works for you, you feel what your powers like" and other deflections.

To the first point, I remember seeing a video where it was two priests (Or, one might have been a monk) and one pointed out that they had prayed for a lot of things, that seemed right at the time, but if God had granted them, they'd probably be in a worse place, because as it turns out, an omniscient being probably knows better than you.

And the other pointed out, if God/the gods/the universe/whatever, was mandated to do what you wanted via spell/prayer/ritual, then are they the god or are you?

To the second, because its a larp by historically and culturally illiterate weirdos. I brought it up jokingly before, but since their beliefs aren't based on any truth (either some type of revelation or basing it on historical practices), might as well mix and match. Are you a Hellenistic Neo-Pagan? Might as well worship Mars the Avenger over Ares, sure they're both gods of war, but Mars is a god of the citizen soldier, for a farmer who fights to defend his land, versus Ares who is a mad brute. Odin's pretty cool so might as well just throw him in, its not like they're doing anything else like the pagans of old were doing.

 

[Coffee Druid]

To the first point, I remember seeing a video where it was two priests (Or, one might have been a monk) and one pointed out that they had prayed for a lot of things, that seemed right at the time, but if God had granted them, they'd probably be in a worse place, because as it turns out, an omniscient being probably knows better than you.

And the other pointed out, if God/the gods/the universe/whatever, was mandated to do what you wanted via spell/prayer/ritual, then are they the god or are you?

To the second, because its a larp by historically and culturally illiterate weirdos. I brought it up jokingly before, but since their beliefs aren't based on any truth (either some type of revelation or basing it on historical practices), might as well mix and match. Are you a Hellenistic Neo-Pagan? Might as well worship Mars the Avenger over Ares, sure they're both gods of war, but Mars is a god of the citizen soldier, for a farmer who fights to defend his land, versus Ares who is a mad brute. Odin's pretty cool so might as well just throw him in, its not like they're doing anything else like the pagans of old were doing.

That last part is something I see a lot. "Eclecticism". In a way I don't really see an issue with it. At least, if you're using spirituality in an agnostic way or "flavoring" a generic sense of spirituality in a way that makes it aesthetically pleasing to you. I'm not sure I'm describing it clearly. Some pagans are a little more humanistic and see the idea of gods not as real gods but archetypes or ideals. And like mentioned before, rituals and prayer as means to focus on things or surround yourself with things that put you into a calmer mentality.

Unless you're from some obscure, barely touched village whose ancestors have passed down their beliefs and stories unchanged for generations, there really is no authentic pagan religion. Practically every neopagan religion is reconstructed or fabricated whole cloth. There were a lot of scholars and weirdos (sometimes both at once, academics can be like that) in the 1700s and 1800s that tried to recreate what they thought people might have done in the past. But there just isn't a lot of existent or written evidence that still remains. Druids, for instance, were a thing in some form with the ancient Celts. But they have only snippets written by outside observers centuries after the fact to go off of.

 

[NoReturn]

Also, for anyone who saw the news about the first in Colorado, Mayor Tomatillo is still doing magicks and she's here to help!

 

[Mexican_Wizard_711]

 

[Agarathium1066]

View attachment 2855617

Odin's okay with the gays if they're the one doing the penetrating. If you were catching that dick, you're shamed then banished from your village at the very least. Couldn't stand listening to this video the whole way through but just a minute in its packed with lots of half-truths and manipulated takes on ancient things.

By the very definition of the way magic is viewed they had a gender binary and kept it quite serious. It was Odin's ambition that saw him give up an eye to master unknown things that would be kept from men rather than him being 'fluid'.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

Odin's okay with the gays if they're the one doing the penetrating. If you were catching that dick, you're shamed then banished from your village at the very least. Couldn't stand listening to this video the whole way through but just a minute in its packed with lots of half-truths and manipulated takes on ancient things.

By the very definition of the way magic is viewed they had a gender binary and kept it quite serious. It was Odin's ambition that saw him give up an eye to master unknown things that would be kept from men rather than him being 'fluid'.

In ancient German cultures if you will caught with another man you'd be drowned in a bog

 

[NoReturn]

View attachment 2855617

Odin's okay with the gays if they're the one doing the penetrating. If you were catching that dick, you're shamed then banished from your village at the very least.

In ancient German cultures if you will caught with another man you'd be drowned in a bog

 

[Agarathium1066]

The law is extremely dumb by modern standards but.. no shit. This was a cultural and legal view from many hundreds of years before modernity. A shame none of them seem to know or care about later roman or greek pagan views on masculinity. Going to town on another man or a young boy was 'totally normal' and 'masculine' to them.. but I guess that wouldn't make them super cool Loki worshippers or whatever excuse they dribble out.

 

[scathefire]

Odin's okay with the gays if they're the one doing the penetrating. If you were catching that dick, you're shamed then banished from your village at the very least. Couldn't stand listening to this video the whole way through but just a minute in its packed with lots of half-truths and manipulated takes on ancient things.

By the very definition of the way magic is viewed they had a gender binary and kept it quite serious. It was Odin's ambition that saw him give up an eye to master unknown things that would be kept from men rather than him being 'fluid'.

And the way that people conceptualize homosexuality and transgenderism is extremely recent, if you tried to explain it to someone back then I'm sure it would make almost no sense to them. Their motivation here is simply to create an alternate version of past events in order to minimize the amount of cognitive dissonance they possess.

 

[Baloney Face]

There was no such thing as "being gay" or a "homosexual". There were merely certain acts (which might be prohibited). This was also true among ancient Biblical types, as well as Nordics

Also pagans from cultures that really were tolerant of such acts (in some contexts). A "preference" if you will, totally apart from a man's duty to have a family (with a woman).

And despite the attempts to ret-con history, self castrated eunuch priests were not "trans".

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Some academic hack made a weird take about Odin drinking cum from men in the gallows to gain superpowers in his gay book. It has been debunked , there was only one source and was a mistranslation taken out of context but now thats become a meme.

The main trope with people featured in this thread, they base their whole beliefs around something they don't even research.

 

[Baloney Face]

they base their whole beliefs around something they don't even research.

Absolutely.

But that is also frequently the case with the more "normal" religions and philosophies.

Historically, (modulo certain times of great upheaval), people would almost always be whatever their parents were.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Absolutely.

But that is also frequently the case with the more "normal" religions and philosophies.

Historically, (modulo certain times of great upheaval), people would almost always be whatever their parents were.

True. In a lot of these cases it would be the perceived opposite of whatever their parents were.

 

[EyelessMC]

View attachment 2790638
Yeah, I'm sure men are just jumping at the chance to sign up to an astrology-based dating app.

"To say someone might be a certain way just because of their astrological sign might be painting with a broad brush" - So then you admit your glorified personality quiz is useless. I mean, what good is horoscopes if you can't even stereotype people properly? How am I supposed to mock Virgos as Incels when they could just as easily be like a Libra?
On the bright side she'd have to agree by her reasoning that on some level everyone involved is a Cancer.

Also,
"I would suggest to everybody not to just throw out certain demographics of people just because they have a sign that in the past hasn't worked with you"

Spoiler

Alternatively [swaztika sign] / [BLM sign] / Bill Engval joke etc.

 

[BluntyBitch]

"To say someone might be a certain way just because of their astrological sign might be painting with a broad brush" - So then you admit your glorified personality quiz is useless. I mean, what good is horoscopes if you can't even stereotype people properly? How am I supposed to mock Virgos as Incels when they could just as easily be like a Libra?
On the bright side she'd have to agree by her reasoning that on some level everyone involved is a Cancer.

Also,
"I would suggest to everybody not to just throw out certain demographics of people just because they have a sign that in the past hasn't worked with you"

Astro.com has the birth charts of sEveral serial killers, so supposedly good witches very learned in chart reading and astrology can um, predict, or something, future killer, um, idk it's garbage but pretty funny.

 

[Yaks]

Every time I read or hear the word "witchy" now I get a visceral reaction of wanting to shove whoever is doing it into a locker.

I think it's my lizard brain kicking in fight or flight mode.

If you're going to join a fringe spiritual community at least make it fun.

I find the Unarius Academy of Science's UFO mobile and 70s propaganda movies to be a real treat.

Kidnapping cavemen to bring them to the giant space alien Glinda the Good Witch.

 

[eternal dog mongler]

If you're going to join a fringe spiritual community at least make it fun.

I think that's what the skyclad sabbaths are for

 

[Yaks]

I think that's what the skyclad sabbaths are for

99% of them don't have the balls, they have anxiety over ordeing pizza over the phone. They aren't going pussy out.