Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Archie_Kimkicker]

Junior sure has his mom's uh lean....and leaning instinctively away from senior.

 

[TurdFondler]

Junior acts like an anxious dog the whole time. It's like this was take 3 and he'd been beaten for fucking up the first two. Their dynamic is so fucking weird I would have been embarrassed to post a video like that.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

I hate that I have to think about this again, but people probably lean away from Jack because he has a… less than rigorous understanding of personal hygiene.

 

[AnOminous]

Jack spends an extortionate amount of time with an introduction to a food processor with a whopping two settings on it. We are then subjected to Jack struggling to figure out how these two buttons operate the speed of this food processor for almost a full minute of this six and a half minute video.

If you know this kind of mini-food processor, they have two settings, one of them spins the blade clockwise, the other counterclockwise. Since the spinning blade is bent a bit, one of them tends to force whatever you're processing down to the bottom, and the other up to the top.

So if you do food processor shit you'll generally tend to use both buttons especially if you're mixing different stuff, as opposed just to crushing one ingredient made nearly entirely out of sugar, as well as stopping to open it up and shove stuff on the sides down into the mix with a rubber spatula.

And on camera no less! Jack berates his son for "eating like an animal" even though he specifically forced him to eat exactly like that. What a cunt.

God I hate this bastard. I hope he meets his end at the hands of John Doe, who forces him to gargle down raw meat until he dies.

 

[feral cat #6385]

Agreed, and it's literally on the instructions for Rice-a-Roni, too. I usually saute aromatic rices like basmati in butter first, too, before adding the water. The way he did it with linguine was repulsive though, and so is the way he blasted this current dish up to high without constantly stirring it, so it was unevenly browned.

And the cardinal crime was boiling pork chops. Who the fuck told him that was good? Those must have been like flavorless shot leather.

I usually just instapot my rice and glop it into whatever I am making last or second to last. My rice technique isn't fancy.

Hello Friends,

Happy Sunday. Hope we all caught ep 37 of "The Boys' Club" this week. In case you missed it, here are some highlights.
I hope you're not eating anything when you watch. If the...Scrapple grinding doesn't nutshot your appetite, the Pie contest damned will.

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Can concur about the fire thing. When I was a teenager we used to love setting assorted dumpsters and what not on fire. There just wasn't a lot to do back then.

Outstanding job tapdancing this week Lazy Man. Jack didn't give you much to work with but you managed to make a silk purse out of a pig's ear.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

some stroke logic for you all. imagine being such a retarded waste of oxygen that you associate touching a door handle to wearing a mask

and lol @ jack talking about being "worried about your health"

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So I guess that Mushbrain doesn't wash his hands before eating or after touching doorknobs and having a donut is exactly the same as catching COVID?

Although if you pay $10 to have a salad delivered then you deserve to be made fun of. So you know, stopped clock and all that.

It's because donuts are the stereotypical "unhealthy fat person" food which is why Jack brings it up.

And you just know that he's scarfed down a lot of donuts in his life. You don't get to be the shape of a bowling ball by watching what you eat.

It doesn't seem like that bad of an idea. Waffles and chicken were popular for a while, and cinnamon is an excellent spice for North African Savouries. Chicken with a honey and cinnamon or maple syrup and cinnamon glaze is awesome. Someone actually competent could do a good sweet and savory breading with cinnamon toast crunch.

Yeah but cinnamon is such a powerful spice that you need to be really careful with how much you use otherwise it just overpowers everything.

What he should have done is use some of it mixed in with normal breadcrumbs like a 5:1 breadcrumb to cereal mix. Enough to give it some flavor but also add something else to it like, salt, maybe some corriander, ginger, tumeric, cayenne and other spices to bring out the flavor and not be so one note. I mean ras el hanout is a great North African spice that goes well with chicken. But what do you expect from Mushbrain? He was a fucking mushbrain before his strokes and only got worse.

 

[Blasterisk]

I hope he meets his end at the hands of John Doe, who forces him to gargle down raw meat until he dies.

I always wondered how the undead in Warcraft 3 made Abominations. Didn't really want to know, but still!

 

[RainwaterDrop]

some stroke logic for you all. imagine being such a retarded waste of oxygen that you associate touching a door handle to wearing a mask

and lol @ jack talking about being "worried about your health"

Fucking lardball retard doesn't know about a little thing called hand sanitizer. The one other thing that was mentioned everywhere on the early coof year, not an easy thing to miss, Jack!

Jack is precisely the kind of retard that thinks they are smarter than everyone else in the room. Not having high expectations about randoms is normal, but people like Jack tune it up and believe themselves to be smarter than almost everyone that is either known for their intelligence (unless they don't respect them, usually based on politics) or people they personally respect, like the Murder Church people on Jack's case lol!

I hate that I have to think about this again, but people probably lean away from Jack because he has a… less than rigorous understanding of personal hygiene.

Fatsos aren't necessarily rancid smelling. Some of them are conscious of their potential, so they do humanity a favor and have rigid personal hygiene. Jack doesn't strike me as a smelly one, in fact mommywife might not tolerate that behaviour from him!

I don't think he forgot, because I'm sure he didn't know that to begin with. We've seen him share plates between different dishes of food after they carried raw meat. Hygiene and basic health don't apply to the brain of mush.

Believe it or not, this isn't a Jack thing. Chefs like Gordon Ramsay and others constantly remind people that raw meat is infectious precisely because most people simply aren't aware that they are handling parts of a butchered animal due to the dissociation that comes with simply looking at a cleanly cut steak, you don't instantly think of the cattle when looking at it!

And I mean it, I personally had to confront some friends in moments of idiocy when they were preparing meats for grilling, by rubbing them directly on the salt pot. Had to use as much salt as possible and then throw away the rest thanks to a retard who decided to rub a piece of raw, seasoned chicken directly on the pot. Nice one, retard!

 

[the khat quaffer]

some stroke logic for you all. imagine being such a retarded waste of oxygen that you associate touching a door handle to wearing a mask

and lol @ jack talking about being "worried about your health"

View attachment 2912870

Much as it pains me, I have to give Jacko a half-hearted nod on the second point. But instead of racking up bikini bottom reaction stickers I'll just leave it at that. I can't get past the elephant's foot of retardation in the first and third points to even bother.

How many salads is this gastropod eating anyways...and where is he getting $20 salads? I'm not saying that $20 salads don't exist, it's just that why bother? It's not healthier. A house salad with a side of dressing at a sit-down is like, what, $6? Maybe $2 of ingredients go into that.

I hate that I have to think about this again, but people probably lean away from Jack because he has a… less than rigorous understanding of personal hygiene.

Accusing gentle Jack of having sub-standard hygiene? How dare you!

Lifted from https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jack-scalfani-cooking-with-jack.13468/post-10359167
Someone else clipped the vid.

 

[Sonic T]

I have an image in my head that I cannot shake.

Jack stands next to a handicap door button, with his left arm facing it. He rotates his upper half to the right, and snaps it back. The momentum makes his limp stroke arm ricochet into the button like the uncontrollable meat log his arm has become. All this just to enter a mall, go straight to the food court, eat at the Panda Express, and rate it an A- on Google.

 

[the khat quaffer]

View attachment 2914766
I have an image in my head that I cannot shake.

Jack stands next to a handicap door button, with his left arm facing it. He rotates his upper half to the right, and snaps it back. The momentum makes his limp stroke arm ricochet into the button like the uncontrollable meat log his arm has become. All this just to enter a mall, go straight to the food court, eat at the Panda Express, and rate it an A- on Google.

You guys make me want to make a burner facebook account just to see the full story of the snippets that get posted...

That said, picturing Jacko trying to do the most mundane tasks for us normies got me to thinking what would happen if he stuck his gimp arm into one of those blood pressure cuffs at the walmarts or any food/drug stores? I'm curious what the results would look like.

 

[Rathalos]

jack strikes me as the type of person who thinks that only gay people wipe their asses, and therefor has never fucking wiped to le ebicly own da haters XDDDD

 

[Fascist Frederick]

jack strikes me as the type of person who thinks that only gay people wipe their asses, and therefor has never fucking wiped to le ebicly own da haters XDDDD

I would wager $20 that he cannot physically wipe his own ass so Tammy does it for him.

 

[captkrisma]

How many salads is this gastropod eating anyways...and where is he getting $20 salads? I'm not saying that $20 salads don't exist, it's just that why bother? It's not healthier. A house salad with a side of dressing at a sit-down is like, what, $6? Maybe $2 of ingredients go into that.

I used to get $20 salads over at Whole Foods for lunch. They would weigh roughly 5lbs and would also be my dinner that night because there was so much left over.

Jack would never eat a salad to begin with so his price point on salads is skewed. Even one of the most expensive steakhouses in Nashville (Kayne Prime) doesn't charge $20 for a salad. They charge $19 and that's for a full iceberg wedge. Jack and Tammy need to film their experience at Catbird Seat. It's $208/person and is considered the absolute most expensive restaurant in Nashville.

EDIT: There's no strict dress code for Catbird Seat. Literally says to come as you are. Imagine dudes in nice blazers and suits seated next to a dude in a Run DMC shirt and who refuses to take off his baseball cap.

 

[jitter]

I read a news article about McDonald's releasing the "McPlant" burger. Jack keeps up on every new fast food item so I'm curious if he is willing to try the plant based ones. Has he boomer posted anything against them?

 

[Schmuck of Ages]

I read a news article about McDonald's releasing the "McPlant" burger. Jack keeps up on every new fast food item so I'm curious if he is willing to try the plant based ones. Has he boomer posted anything against them?

Yeah he has blasted Impossible meat despite saying it was good in his Red Robin review vid.

 

[Rabid Weasels]

I would wager $20 that he cannot physically wipe his own ass so Tammy does it for him.

He said once that they have a bidet attachment. The context was the toilet paper shortage at the start of the pandemic and why it didnt affect them. But whenever they travel, mommywife has to do the honors i assume.

 

[Adamska]

Yeah he has blasted Impossible meat despite saying it was good in his Red Robin review vid.

His sense of taste is so shit you could give him Impossible and/or beyond meat and he'd not be able to tell the difference. He's just giga angy because he might get tricked and not get meat.

Either way, I do kinda agree the beyond/impossible gimmick is retarded. Mainly because vegans are so retarded and craving meat they'll eat this, not knowing the fats and blood from animals contaminate their overpriced famine food patty or whatever the fuck beyond's made from.

 

[Schmuck of Ages]

His sense of taste is so shit you could give him Impossible and/or beyond meat and he'd not be able to tell the difference. He's just giga angy because he might get tricked and not get meat.

Either way, I do kinda agree the beyond/impossible gimmick is retarded. Mainly because vegans are so retarded and craving meat they'll eat this, not knowing the fats and blood from animals contaminate their overpriced famine food patty or whatever the fuck beyond's made from.

Yeah I'll fuck with a good made from scratch black bean patty but this trend is a pretty big downgrade.

 

[captkrisma]

Yeah I'll fuck with a good made from scratch black bean patty but this trend is a pretty big downgrade.

It's kind of an inevitably, given the fact that America is the 4th largest consumer of beef, and has increased its meat intake by 40% since the 1960's.

The reality is that it is a means to appeal to their shareholders, as they promised to be 'net zero' for beef production back in 2020. Give more vegetarian options and make the planned vegetarian options taste as close to the real thing and hope that people buy the shit (Spoilers: they wont).