Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

Tikbalang said:
To Chris, friends and servants are one at the same to him. It's not friendship when you tell him "Dude, I'm worried about your mental health".
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I have said it before and I will say it again, the fact Chris has never had a peer group is one of his biggest problems - I have a close friend a very close friend who will quite happily say "Dude your fucking up" and when he says it I listen because he only says that when I really am fucking up, same goes for me to him if shit goes sideways I can say "Mate you need to step back for a minute and look at yourself".

Everyone should have a friend they can just call on to just chat shit with, from the nice stuff to the hard stuff - Chris hasn't ever had that the closest he's had is Bob and Barb and there are just some things you can't or shouldn't talk about with your parents, I'm not saying Chris ever respected that social an family boundary but parents just can't give honest or real answers too.

I doubt he'd ever really take that advice, from a hypothetical peer but he should have at least been aware of it.
 
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I never thought that Chris thinking he is a literal god while being in jail for raping his own mother could be so fucking boring. Every letter same shit. I am god, pop culture garbage and GIVE ME MONEY. Over and over and over. It's just one big snorefest. I can barely bring myself to read them anymore. I want Chris out of jail and on the streets (Far from Barb ofc) so we can begin the couch surfing/homeless saga.
 
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Deathfromabove said:
I never thought that Chris thinking he is a literal god while being in jail for raping his own mother could be so fucking boring. Every letter same shit. I am god, pop culture garbage and GIVE ME MONEY. Over and over and over. It's just one big snorefest. I can barely bring myself to read them anymore. I want Chris out of jail and on the streets (Far from Barb ofc) so we can begin the couch surfing/homeless saga.
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I like to imagine a scenario where he tries to go home to 14 BC and they tell him to get fucked and then he tries to go to Kengle's house and Kenny turns off all the lights and pretends to not be home...forever.
 
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Deathfromabove said:
I never thought that Chris thinking he is a literal god while being in jail for raping his own mother could be so fucking boring. Every letter same shit. I am god, pop culture garbage and GIVE ME MONEY. Over and over and over. It's just one big snorefest. I can barely bring myself to read them anymore. I want Chris out of jail and on the streets (Far from Barb ofc) so we can begin the couch surfing/homeless saga.
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My biggest fear for the homeless saga is what happens if he ends up in a house with a minor who has a lolcow or ween parent and doesnt believe Chris is a threat.

I remember the CWCki, the bastion of CWC psychology confidently claimed Chris couldnt rape anyone.

No, he can, fuck you, champthorn. From here on out, you have to assume he'll take the opportunity and autistically justify/feign contrition after when someone slaps him on the wrist.
 
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Radical Goodspeed said:
I remember the CWCki, the bastion of CWC psychology confidently claimed Chris couldnt rape anyone.
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I still don't think Chris has raped anyone. I don't think he held Megatron to Barb's head while tears streamed down her cheeks. I don't think he tied her to the bed (fake Bella texts aside).

I think he badgered Barb until she consented. Yes, Barb can consent. If Barb took a gun and murdered her neighbor, would you find her responsible, or would you say "No, she's demented, it's not her fault!". If you find her responsible for her actions in that scenario, you have to find her responsible for her other choices too.

In current year clown world that might be rape, I suppose, but I just call it the Chandlers being disgusting.
 
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Pointless Sperg said:
I still don't think Chris has raped anyone. I don't think he held Megatron to Barb's head while tears streamed down her cheeks. I don't think he tied her to the bed (fake Bella texts aside).

I think he badgered Barb until she consented. Yes, Barb can consent. If Barb took a gun and murdered her neighbor, would you find her responsible, or would you say "No, she's demented, it's not her fault!". If you find her responsible for her actions in that scenario, you have to find her responsible for her other choices too.

In current year clown world that might be rape, I suppose, but I just call it the Chandlers being disgusting.
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It’s not the kind of rape the Cwicki said Chris wouldn’t commit. He still hasn’t committed that kind.
 
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Pvt. Real G said:
I fucking love how Chris latch onto anyone that pities him and instantly demands them to solve all of his problems like if they are obligated to. Like when he asks his fossil of a dad Bob to call the police to deal with the trolls. Or when he threatens the trolls with Rob Bell and thinks he can just sue them all. Or when Null got rid of the Idea guys, and Chris immediately thinks Null is some kinda of internet hackerman and can instantly dox anyone on the internet. Then he is off to name dropping Null whenever he is threaten and Null even mentioned in one of his streams that Chris actually frantically asked him to order a hit on somebody or something. It's fucking nuts. Now it's Kengle turn, and Chris uses him like if he is some servant. Go get me money, go get Barb money, go find my galpals and tell them to call me. Stop helping a tard who won't even lift his ass up to shit in a toilet but rather shit himself.
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True but when Chris makes these ridiculous demands, Kengle just blows it off. He will play along with it but Kengle has gotten ten letters off of Chris.
 
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Deathfromabove said:
I never thought that Chris thinking he is a literal god while being in jail for raping his own mother could be so fucking boring. Every letter same shit. I am god, pop culture garbage and GIVE ME MONEY. Over and over and over. It's just one big snorefest. I can barely bring myself to read them anymore. I want Chris out of jail and on the streets (Far from Barb ofc) so we can begin the couch surfing/homeless saga.
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I like the parts where he dictates new religious dogma. Those are pretty funny, but maybe that's just because I have a thing for weird fringe cults.
 
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PsychoNerd054 said:
Kengle had sent a response letter to the Merlin letter. Here he mostly talks about how problematic it is to share the letter while attempting to conceal certain parts of the letter. He also brings up the Son-Chu crash among other forbidden letters.
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Unless Kengle fessed up or he made a lucky guess, Chris wouldn't have known about the leaks unless a third party told him. Maybe another ween wrote Chris, trying to undermine Kengle's relative monopoly on cocktent by creating a rift between the two?
 
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Terrorist said:
Unless Kengle fessed up or he made a lucky guess, Chris wouldn't have known about the leaks unless a third party told him. Maybe another ween wrote Chris, trying to undermine Kengle's relative monopoly on cocktent by creating a rift between the two?
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I think that's the most likely scenario, Kengle is in a weird place a enabling chris, trolling him and white knighting him all at the same time.

The only reason he's in the position his is now as the "Autistic Metatron" is because he's willing to pat the ass of a incestuous rapist and enable his delusions and give him money, it's not hard to earn Chris's trust if you treat him like a stray dog give him a stroke, feed him and play with them you have a new best friend.

Once Chris is out and about he'll find someone new and kengle will be tossed out on his arse from the lofty position he currently has, and this is for Ken the highlight of his life (and that's really sad), so unseating him now would only cut off the content (bad idea if you want it) and it will be a lot funnier when Chris cuts him off naturally.
 
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I'm baffled by the attitude on OnionFarms. People seem to be willing to dump cash on Chris regardless of what he's done. Its a textbook example of the Five Geek Social Fallacies at work. A bunch of spergy ostracized tards willing to put up with anything to not be the ostracizer.
 
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ANobody said:
I'm baffled by the attitude on OnionFarms. People seem to be willing to dump cash on Chris regardless of what he's done. Its a textbook example of the Five Geek Social Fallacies at work. A bunch of spergy ostracized tards willing to put up with anything to not be the ostracizer.
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They think it’s funny or they think Chris is the victim of a misunderstanding or whatever. Or they’re lying and not actually sending him money.
 
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ANobody said:
I'm baffled by the attitude on OnionFarms. People seem to be willing to dump cash on Chris regardless of what he's done. Its a textbook example of the Five Geek Social Fallacies at work. A bunch of spergy ostracized tards willing to put up with anything to not be the ostracizer.
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Chris getting money for doing absolutely nothing was cemented by D-Stecks giving him that 1,000 dollars in remorse. I often wonder if that hadn't happened if Chris would've started e-begging and demanding money from his "fans".

Everyone on OnionFarms want a place in Christory and Kengle might want to be someone that wants to get ass pats or acclaim for helping poor Goddess Christine during a tight spot.
I'm calling it now but Kengle might try to rally his OnionFarmers to write letters to Biden to pardon Chris. He just seems like the type to do that. Kengle is Sockness 2.0 just without the insanity.
 
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Ophelia said:
You might want to rethink that last part. The fucker boils hamburgers.
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Not to mention what he draws in his Sonichen art:

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