Trashfire Ethan Ralph vs. Mister Metokur & Gator - It's finally happening

[Angry Shoes]

Ralph doesn't give a fuck. He's tough and hardened and no one can endure what he does with the help of massive substance abuse.

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Just look at how much he doesn't give a fuck, you guys. Stunning.

He's really getting some mileage out of that "you can't handle the scrutiny I have to deal with" bullshit. Oh no I chose to look at mean things about me on the Internet, I guess I have to drink myself into a stupor and abandon my children.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I picked a fine time to go offline for 48 hours, JFC. I’ll be more surprised if Ralph DOESN’T die in the next month. And if he takes his rage out on anyone, it will be a woman (or Meigh). Ralph wouldn’t dare step to a man, but he tried to belt a female cop just for trying to wake him up from a drunken stupor.

Ethan’s what they call “a drunk of the hopeless variety.” Even they can get sober if they have the humility. So he’ll never get sober, not even to own the haters. Ethan’s skin is thin as an onion’s.

 

[DiceLord]

For me, the question is whether or not Ethan is still planning to fuck with Gator and Jim IRL

 

[Rabid Northman]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

>People shit on my lawn.
>People shit on my fucking house.
>People shit on my door. People shit on my porch

Mekotour: Actual shit

>no corn cobs.
>But what if it WAS shit?

I also like his follow-up to that

 

[Neil]

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Our boys gone full retard, lads!

Glad to see Ralph's finalized his divorce from Reality. He really thinks he can call anyone pathetic after last night.

 

[Angry Shoes]

For me, the question is whether or not Ethan is still planning to fuck with Gator and Jim IRL

I seriously doubt he was ever going to go through with that. That would take actual effort. All he knows how to do is post online and feed his vices, so you may see a new article or some mean tweets but that's about it.

 

[Cherenkovblue]

Dear Mister "I'm Too Good to Come on Stream and Save My Fans"...
This will be the last tweet I ever send your ass!
It's been six months and still no word, I don't deserve it???
I know you got my last two DMs, I wrote the hangout links on 'em perfect! *hick*
Shhhooo... this is my death threat I'm sending you, I hope you read it.
I'm in my Nissan right now, I'm doing 90 and on my way!
Hey Jim, I drank two bottles of Maker's!
I'm just so fucking sad!
You know the song by Da Gunt, "World's Best Dad"??
Clownin' me, my life and my dreams of seeing my son Xander...
That's what it should be like with you and me, this aint just banter!
You should have been there so they wouldn't call me "fatty"!
Now it's too late, and you'll never be my daddy!
And all I wanted was a lousy tweet or a call!
I hope you know I ripped all of your posters off the wall!
I love you Jim, we coulda been together, think about it!
You ruined it now, I hope your ass gets covid and you stream about it!
And when you stream I hope your headset breaks and you scream about it!
I hope your cancer eats at you and you dream about me!
See Jim... shut up May! I'm tryin' to holla!
Hey Jim, that's my woman countin' our last dollar.
We spent it all on gas, pills and a used .45! I hope you're ready to die...
I thought you were my father but it was all a fucking lie.
Well, gotta go, we're almost at your house now...
Oh shit, without Gator, how am I supposed to stream this shit out?

Waitaminute... is this Eminem's Stan? If not... it should be.

 

[Neil]

I thought Jade was Chinese. She's actually Korean, or is that Ralph's headcanon?

She's Cambodian. Ralph's just a tard trying to get in some weird racial swipes on Jim somehow. in the same manner as Diogenes, hmmmmmm

 

[Suiza]

"The scrutiny I've had," sheesh Ralph really missed his calling as a PR agent. He certainly has a knack for positioning his life as if it isn't one big meltdown depression-fest.

I'm pretty sure most people could handle that level of scrutiny, because most people's life aren't analogous to slow motion, 4k footage of 9/11

 

[Butwhythough]

I’ll be more surprised if Ralph DOESN’T die in the next month.

He'll keep himself alive in pure spite of his ayy-lawgs. The gunt runs on alcohol, pills, and spite. It might be a chemical reaction that fuels itself like the sun.

 

[IamnottheNSA]

What is the -tape he uploaded- being Ralphs worst moment that Jim in referencing here at 1:11:00?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWXeAEJeMB0

I can't reupload it, so here's the link

 

[endangeredspecies]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

>People shit on my lawn.
>People shit on my fucking house.
>People shit on my door. People shit on my porch

Mekotour: Actual shit

>no corn cobs.
>But what if it WAS shit?

Please don't use f word with teh Lord's name

 

[Tumbo]

I was under the impression that he changed it due to getting married as is common and it had nothing to do with anything internet related or he really did just feel like it either way Ralph continues to embarrass himself for our amusement.

 

[Pope of Degeneracy]

There's so much corn from this year's miraculously early harvest that we can replace the entire US Midwest's corn production and Kiwi Farms can start its own nation.

 

[mhzesent]

I dunno. If you're going to go to NiN for your emo thread theme I think Head Like a Hole from the Pretty Hate Machine album fits better.

Come as you are, as you were
As I want you to be
As a friend, as a crush
As an internet daddy
Take your time, hurry up
Call me on the Killstream
Let's relive GamerGate
As an old memory



also i think there is potential in re-writing "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" with gunt lore

 

[FuzzMushr00m]

She's Cambodian. Ralph's just a tard trying to get in some weird racial swipes on Jim somehow. in the same manner as Diogenes, hmmmmmm

IT'S A RALPHAMALE IN CAMBODIA SPITE TRIP 2 HYPE LESSSGOOOOOOOO

 

[Snigger]

According to the CDC 1 in 13 black newborns have Sickle Cell Trait. That's the harmless trait that gives you resistance to malaria. Only 1 in 365 have the actual disease, which requires both of your parents to have at least one copy of the gene.

13 haha

 

[Red_Cap]

just listening to jbp talk about male and female aggression and how women basically go straight for reputational damage.

so basically ralph going after people's reputations is literally bitch-made

 

[CabbageMan]

lol fat.

But no really, what the fuck world are we in right now? Matt Jarbo in a sympathetic light? (Still a flaggot though.) Gator breaking the pignosis? Black history month starting off with a based racebaiter who may be the second coming on Terry A. Davis dropping an 800 page manifesto with 10,400 mentions of the hard r? IBS possibly reuniting and seeing some real blood spilled?

Chris was right, the merge is on.

 

[Weeb Slinger]

I wondered, this afternoon, as the shop-soiled rays of the sun, that had already beamed down upon more civilised parts of the globe, at last crept above the horizon of the Gunt, would a more humble Ethan Ralph emerge blinking from his stupor? Would he dress himself sombrely and then waddle off down the road, retuning hours later pulling a wheeled palette behind him, loaded with pink paint for the walls of his daughter's nursery?

Would he phone Gator and tell him: 'Look, it doesn't matter if you're called Brian. You're my best friend, who I've only ever met once in person, and you're a good guy."

Would he snack on his bag of Odysee bugs, not to win some online competition, but because they are high in fibre, and doing so might save the life of a turtle and bring a smile to the piranha-toothed mouth of Greta Thunberg?

No.

He came out swinging with both fists. He's like a character in a makeweight sitcom who returns to his default factory settings at the conclusion of every episode. Fred Flintstone had a more of an arc than Ethan Ralph. The boulder-phile, Mundane Matt (Fred Flintstone's soyjak descendent) has shown more personal growth.

As always, The Ethan Ralph Show was livestreamed before a horrified home audience.