Grand Jury speculation thread

[Uncle Meat]

They can keep it going much, much longer if need be, but not in family court.

I don't think anyone- judge, defense or prosecution- wants this to get beyond family court.

 

[Ophelia]

I would think it would be way more hilarious to leave her corpse on a greyhound bus as a “surprise” for the driver at the final destination.

I know greyhounds are the fucking worst, but the drivers don’t deserve that. Leave it on the doorstep of someone awful.

As for Chris being put on the register, I don’t think he would see it as a bad thing.

He would pretty quick.

He will likely fully misunderstand it and decide that it grants him license to practice as a professional sex offender.

Someone would explain it to him like you would a child. He already knows “offending” is frowned upon. “You did bad sex. Now you can’t go near schools.” Then he’d frown, wait until no one was watching him, and push that boundary. Then he’d learn.

 

[A-№1]

According to Bob, he wanted to name Chris "Christian", but he "chickened out"* and chose "Christopher."

Really? Did he not ever sound it out? "Chris-Chan-Chan-Dler"

I can only assume Barb had final say what their newborn's name would be

I suspect Barb had the final say on most things. Meanwhile Bob was a walking advertisement for vasectomies.

I know greyhounds are the fucking worst, but the drivers don’t deserve that.

Greyhound has policy in place for dealing with dead passengers. So do passenger rail and airlines. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen.

 

[Naamaleipuri]

So they're basically just going to keep OPL in detention for being a naughty boy.
Is the lawyer just stalling until Chris really loses his mind so he can easily plead insanity?

 

[Ophelia]

Greyhound has policy in place for dealing with dead passengers. So do passenger rail and airlines. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen.

That doesn’t make it fun.

So they're basically just going to keep OPL in detention for being a naughty boy.

That’s kind of what jail and prison are.

Is the lawyer just stalling until Chris really loses his mind so he can easily plead insanity?

No. That’s not how insanity pleas work and that’s not a thing lawyers do.

 

[FinnSven]

That doesn’t make it fun.

Yes it does! :p

Every time someone I have a semi responsibility for, e.g. coworkers, housemates, customers in bars, has died, it is way more fun to indulge in a bit of leaving them on public transportation for someone else to find and deal with.

I can’t be arsed with all the boring questions from teary eyed relatives and emergency services. ;p

 

[Strangolapreti]

He'll stay behind bars, waiting the court hearing of JULAAAAAAY

 

[A-№1]

So they're basically just going to keep OPL in detention for being a naughty boy.
Is the lawyer just stalling until Chris really loses his mind so he can easily plead insanity?

We REALLY need that JailFAQ page.

That doesn’t make it fun.

But it does make you miss your connecting flight.

Every time someone I have a semi responsibility for, e.g. coworkers, housemates, customers in bars, has died, it is way more fun to indulge in a bit of leaving them on public transportation for someone else to find and deal with.

Abusing or interfering with a corpse is a felony in most states, never mind meddling with a potential crime scene.

It's not worth risking spending more time in prison for fucking with Barb's corpse than Chris has for fucking Barb herself.

 

[FinnSven]

Abusing or interfering with a corpse is a felony in most states, never mind meddling with a potential crime scene.

It's not worth risking spending more time in prison for fucking with Barb's corpse than Chris has for fucking Barb herself.

Abusing” and “interference” are such strong terms!

I prefer to consider it wacky harmless hi-jinks, Like “Weekend at Bernie’s”.

“Meddling with a crime scene”?

The only crime there was the crime of choosing to die somewhere that mildly inconveniences me.

Even if a judge didn’t see the obvious funny side or relate to this everyday mild annoyance, they would still consider me a lovable rascal and dismiss the case!

Plus anyway, I don’t see a situation any less wacky than the aforementioned film in which I end up with the duty of disposing of Barb’s remains.
Let Tom and Harriet enjoy themselves.

Maybe a local clothes shop could use a sagging old mannequin? :p

 

[I swear she's 18]

The bear named him Christian, not Bob.

In an interview Bob gave to some newspaper. He claimed he wanted to originally name his son Christian, but decided last moment not too. It was only through Godbear's wisdom and will that gave Bob the courage to change it to Christian.

As for Chris being put on the register, I don’t think he would see it as a bad thing.

Sad that Toys R us is defunct. I want to see the tard rage that would ensue because he's not allowed inside. As well as most of Chris' hangout spots since they are frequented by young kids. Though I could be wrong if there's specific kind of SO. Haven't looked much into it.

 

[AnOminous]

So they're basically just going to keep OPL in detention for being a naughty boy.
Is the lawyer just stalling until Chris really loses his mind so he can easily plead insanity?

Insanity isn't at the time of trial, it's at the time of the crime.

 

[FamicomGorby]

I would think it would be way more hilarious to leave her corpse on a greyhound bus as a “surprise” for the driver at the final destination.

As for Chris being put on the register, I don’t think he would see it as a bad thing.

He will likely fully misunderstand it and decide that it grants him license to practice as a professional sex offender.

Not sure if it's the case in Virginia, but if you're on the sex offender registry in some states you need to report to the state every time you make a new online account. Something that Chris would definitely never keep up with and would be prosecuted for cause the state would get tips from weens immediately.

 

[Argh My Cigar]

Sad that Toys R us is defunct. I want to see the tard rage that would ensue because he's not allowed inside. As well as most of Chris' hangout spots since they are frequented by young kids. Though I could be wrong if there's specific kind of SO. Haven't looked much into it.

COVID affected a lot of the local gatherings in his area so I don't see that being much of an issue for him, though he would probably never be allowed to another con again due to how publicized his situation is.

I'm gonna guess he's preemptively banned from every pony/game/anime con from here on out, assuming he won't already be banned from society once the verdict comes through.

 

[Ophelia]

I'm gonna guess he's preemptively banned from every pony/game/anime con from here on out,

He won’t be banned from furry cons.

 

[NaggotFigger]

COVID affected a lot of the local gatherings in his area so I don't see that being much of an issue for him, though he would probably never be allowed to another con again due to how publicized his situation is.

That's what gave him extra misery. Nobody would like to see Chris stepping his legs onto any gatherings, because of many situations he went through. COVID made it worse, so Chris can only walk through the street with nobody outside to see his presence.

I'm gonna guess he's preemptively banned from every pony/game/anime con from here on out, assuming he won't already be banned from society once the verdict comes through.

Possibly. The situations around him is probably the main cause or this. Maybe exceptions for furfag conventions, they probably don't care about Chris's situations.

 

[I swear she's 18]

He won’t be banned from furry cons.

Furfags have standards. At least the more normie and public ones. Most degenerate cons like Rainfurrest, who accept banned/taboo kinks, don't last very long (because of said degeneracy)

 

[Clownery]

Maybe exceptions for furfag conventions, they probably don't care about Chris's situations.

Not even chris can stoop down to the levels of degeneracy that something like rainfurest is capable of

 

[Echnaton]

since this christian love day is chris' 40 birthday, how long do y'all think he'll live given his general unhealthiness?

Chris will endure until the situation improves

 

[Argh My Cigar]

Not even chris can stoop down to the levels of degeneracy that something like rainfurest is capable of

Yeah they literally destroyed the convention center and hotels. iirc I read somewhere that people were clogging the pool filters with towels which led to it exploding.

 

[thegooddoctor]

All of this discussion of whether Chris will lowest anyone else, be it a mentally ill old person, a insane single mom or potentially children is honestly kinda disgusting and unnecessary, please give it a rest guys. No matter how much A- logs may dig it Chris ain’t and will probably never be a full blown pedo. Hypothesising about all the gross situations he could get himself into sexually with older women and minors by being even more of a creepy pervert is fruitless and revolting. Let’s give it a rest guys.