Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[ZipDisk]

Rob did the opposite of tapping the glass. He refueled the Pig Cow to continue.

Also, holy shit is the jacket busy. He could just have it say

JACK ON
THE GO
but instead, it's the whole fucking show title plus the frying pan head.

Ditto on the cellulose bag cheese.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

And of course he wouldn't grate the cheese himself. He buys the big 5lb bags of the pre-grated stuff at a huge markup and they're loaded with wood pulp or "cellulose" to keep it from clumping.

Grating cheese would just be one more thing Tammy would have to do. Blocks of cheese I’m sure are out of the question since she already does MORE than enough around there

 

[pseudoreal]

Jack must be annoying but what would specifically be annoying about someone ordering one of the most common dishes on the menu?

Jack.

 

[ZipDisk]

I think Rick and Morty skewered Orange Chicken enough for all of us. Morty and Summer only want that sugar chicken.

 

[jitter]

A burger joint called "Crafty Burger" in Leicester, GB cooks their burgers to the Scalfani standard

https://twitter.com/coolasleicester/status/1494415666568482817

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

A burger joint called "Crafty Burger" in Leicester, GB cooks their burgers to the Scalfani standard

https://twitter.com/coolasleicester/status/1494415666568482817

View attachment 2992575

I've been to plenty of places that will cook burgers to whatever doneness you like if the local laws allow it. I used to know an absolute madman who would always order his burgers blue rare whenever he could. You really have to trust the restaurant's beef though.

 

[DX10]

Comments in that thread say the place is known and trusted to do beef rare. Beef in the UK is just a leeedle bit safer than it is in the US, at least IMO, though I still wouldn't trust mass-produced plastic-wrapped stuff below med-rare most of the time.

However from what I can tell Crafty is a bit more of an upscale place, and I've been to similar gourmet burger places. It's much more kosher than Fatty Doo Doo's antics. More rare than I'd want a burger (or would suggest, tbh, to me rare burgers are inferior in texture to medium ones because burgers are all about the maillard reaction.)

EDIT: Yeah, looking at their website it seems like they're a short-run pop-up place that's only open for three days and is all about the craft, including making burgers on-site as-ordered. I'd trust them over a standard restaurant.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

ok what the fuck is an atomic buffalo turd

I'm pretty sure this is just wendigo talking and the real jack has been just a skin on a much more frightening beast
is this motherfucker fattening up tammy to feast on her

Atomic buffalo turds are basically jalapeno poppers with bacon.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Jack must be annoying but what would specifically be annoying about someone ordering one of the most common dishes on the menu?

Pretending to be a fine dining sommelier by guzzling the sauce in a shot glass, followed by looking up at the ceiling, stifling a giggle like a teenage girl faggot, and then relying on his severely disabled pallet to tell us if it was SHURGER or high fructose corn syrup that he tasted.

 

[ZipDisk]

Atomic buffalo turds make me sad. By what I've seen, they actually require a steady hand to make properly, so why not call them something nice? "Bacon boats" "Atomic appetizers"

Nope, straight to toxic fecal matter.

The shittiest ingredient are the little smokies.

But yeah, they're over complicated jalepeno poppers. You hollow out the jalepenos, fill it with doctored cream cheese, put in the nasty smokey, then wrap it in bacon.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Atomic buffalo turds make me sad. By what I've seen, they actually require a steady hand to make properly, so why not call them something nice? "Bacon boats" "Atomic appetizers"

Nope, straight to toxic fecal matter.

The shittiest ingredient are the little smokies.

But yeah, they're over complicated jalepeno poppers. You hollow out the jalepenos, fill it with doctored cream cheese, put in the nasty smokey, then wrap it in bacon.

I had to look these things up because I thought someone simply ‘shopped a Jack Boomerbook post, but yes. They are a thing. Wolfe Pit did them several years ago. Also, he did them better.

 

[ten dollars off]

Pretending to be a fine dining sommelier by guzzling the sauce in a shot glass, followed by looking up at the ceiling, stifling a giggle like a teenage girl faggot, and then relying on his severely disabled pallet to tell us if it was SHURGER or high fructose corn syrup that he tasted.

 

[captkrisma]

Pretending to be a fine dining sommelier by guzzling the sauce in a shot glass, followed by looking up at the ceiling, stifling a giggle like a teenage girl faggot, and then relying on his severely disabled pallet to tell us if it was SHURGER or high fructose corn syrup that he tasted.

So I found out that MoliPazzo is one of three Italian restaurants in White House. One is a Carraba's. The other one doesn't sell bowls of greasy pizza ingredients.

"This is not the menu I saw online!"

Jack loses his shit based off of them not having a menu item he isn't supposed to have in the first place since Bruschetta isn't KEEEEEETO.

Then he snaps at Tammy: "well obviously they change the menu".

Now we know why he made the shirt.

 

[rubytintedchix]

View attachment 2993142

“These chickie nuggies have an oakey afterbirth.” Blub blub blub.

 

[desudesu]

Fatty's strokeposting on a Friday as usual along with his murderchurch "friends" chiming in:

 

[MasterDisaster]

Fatty's strokeposting on a Friday as usual along with his murderchurch "friends" chiming in:

View attachment 2993441

The only thing worse than idiots that think the bible is a template for the end times...which is always right around the corner...are the ones that genuinely think they have a direct connection to god.

 

[rubytintedchix]

I wish we could turn back time and show this to young Tammy, since everyone needs her.

 

[AnOminous]

"This is not the menu I saw online!"

Jack loses his shit based off of them not having a menu item he isn't supposed to have in the first place since Bruschetta isn't KEEEEEETO.

So why didn't he just fucking ask for it anyway, the fat fuck? They obviously know what it is. If you weren't a dick about it they'd probably make it.

 

[salmonellajack]

So, as the breadwinner, Tammy should be getting pounded by young handsome guys? Using this logic?

 

[desudesu]

So, as the breadwinner, Tammy should be getting pounded by young handsome guys? Using this logic?

That is why she has Jim Traynor by the side.