Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[captkrisma]

Hot take: No one needs a Tammy, Jack is dependant on her because he's a parasite.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

Hot take: No one needs a Tammy, Jack is dependant on her because he's a parasite.

Jack needs one if he wants to eat. He could probably survive for, well a fucking year and a half considering how much blubber he's got stocked, but after that he would need to work and that's not what he does when he's filming Fat on the Go lol!

So why didn't he just fucking ask for it anyway, the fat fuck? They obviously know what it is. If you weren't a dick about it they'd probably make it.

That would require this entitled fat fuck to be polite to the servers instead of bitching around like an asshole and treating them like shit, so of course he didn't do it lol!

That aside, Jack is the kind of guy that bitches around instead of being minimally courteous to staff. It wouldn't surprise me if he got payback from the servers at every place he goes, with that attitude of his!

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

Fatty's strokeposting on a Friday as usual along with his murderchurch "friends" chiming in:

View attachment 2993441

The media lies except for the media I consume.

Gotta love bringing up Oprah since Oprah has been pretty damn quiet in recent years. You'd think they'd like her since she platformed and poured gasoline on the antivax fire way back when she let Jenny McCarthy on her show. Fucking boomers man.

Hot take: No one needs a Tammy, Jack is dependant on her because he's a parasite.

Parasites need a host.

 

[moseph.jartelli]

Beef in the UK is just a leeedle bit safer than it is in the US, at least IMO

The UK can keep it's Prion Infused Beef.

 

[Dead Air]

So I found out that MoliPazzo is one of three Italian restaurants in White House. One is a Carraba's. The other one doesn't sell bowls of greasy pizza ingredients.

"This is not the menu I saw online!"

Jack loses his shit based off of them not having a menu item he isn't supposed to have in the first place since Bruschetta isn't KEEEEEETO.

Then he snaps at Tammy: "well obviously they change the menu".

Now we know why he made the shirt.

Gonna be extra autistic for a sec: Molipazzo is the only italian place in white house. WH has very few sit down type restaurants unless you include the waffle house or pizza places, or truck stop off the interstate. There is Colorado Grill, but Jack has already reviewed it a couple years ago. The nearest Carraba's is in Jack's neck of the woods in Hendersonville.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Gonna be extra autistic for a sec: Molipazzo is the only italian place in white house. WH has very few sit down type restaurants unless you include the waffle house or pizza places, or truck stop off the interstate. There is Colorado Grill, but Jack has already reviewed it a couple years ago. The nearest Carraba's is in Jack's neck of the woods in Hendersonville.

Isn’t White House where TamHam’s parents live? If not it’s where her Mom’s insurance Fat on the Go front resides. I bet they were in the area squaring up the receipts when they happened upon this place.

The chef definitely thinks Jack has special needs. A shot glass of fucking marinara.

Amazing.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Which also keeps it from melting. Or tasting good. That shit is garbage.

Unless you are using a LOT of cheese like you go through a 5lb bag of it a week there's no reason to use pre-shredded cheese. I made the mistake of buying some once because it was on sale and I wanted to make nachos. It was disappointing to say the least. But again this is Mushbrain we're talking about. It's not about taste. It's about quantity.

I've been to plenty of places that will cook burgers to whatever doneness you like if the local laws allow it. I used to know an absolute madman who would always order his burgers blue rare whenever he could. You really have to trust the restaurant's beef though.

There's no real problem making a burger medium rare or hell, just eating the ground beef raw as steak tartare. If you literally just got the meat and ground it right then and there the chance of you getting sick from it is low. The problem is when you buy ground beef from the supermarket or it's been there for a couple days.

Spoiler: Meat sperging

You can eat a steak rare because all the bacteria are on the outside of the meat. Hit that with some high heat, like in a cast iron skillet for 30 seconds on each side, and those bacteria that were on the outside are dead. But when you grind it up the outside becomes the inside and you've made a nice little environment in the center where that bacteria can grow and leave behind all those nasty toxins that make you sick. Grind the beef right away and cook it quickly and you should be fine. It doesn't give the bacteria much of a chance to duplicate.

Of course there's other ways like cooking it sous vide. Keep it at the medium rare temperature for an hour and every single bacteria in it will be dead. Finish it in a screaming hot pan or use a blowtorch and you're fine.

So yes, unless you trust the ground beef in a restaurant, don't order it medium rare.

I wish we could turn back time and show this to young Tammy, since everyone needs her.

View attachment 2993453

And yet Jr dropped out of college to "make his ministry". Seems Strokey can't live by the things he likes to say.

The media lies except for the media I consume.

That's the part that makes me laugh. These are the same people that say the media lies but then are the first to repeat what they heard on one of the Fox News talking head opinion shows. The media is just as slanted on the right as it is on the left. Only an idiot thinks "their" side is 100% truthful and the other one is not.

 

[Aaway]

jack falls for a donald trump parody account

 

[MasterDisaster]

jack falls for a donald trump parody account

View attachment 2993687

Jack thinks parody means you repeat something someone else said.

 

[the khat quaffer]

On the note about Rob using Jack's sauce, I was wondering: what's the shelf life on those sauces? I think we can assume he never sold through his initial inventory, so the sauces he has should be from when the line was launched. How long do you think he will try to keep selling his rancid backstock?

If they're sealed properly they should be disgusting but probably not going to poison you. That being said, Best Before dates are there for liability, do not attempt unless you have MRESteve's stomach.

A few people bought them and reported the ingredients were separating and in general was nasty.

EDIT: Also it's not made clear if Jack bottled them or hired a company to do it. If Jack bottled them, you couldn't pay me to try it. One of Jack's more forgotten incidents was when he did a canning/jarring episode and contaminated the jar/can by touching the contents before sealing. This one was such a health and safety issue that even Jack took it down, because while Jack eating raw chicken is obviously a health risk that anyone with a working brain can figure out, sealing a can with a breeding culture of botulism is more deadly and not a widely known risk to a layman since the danger is not visible to our eyes.

Considering the sheer amount of salt and sugar required to penetrate Jack's withered tastebuds, and that the sauces were made according to Mushbrain's tastes, my guess is sometime between affordable personal jetpacks and the heat death of the universe.

The pharaoh's tombs were sealed with jars of honey inside, which are still edible to this day. Fatty-Fatty Ham-Ham's legacy will be a long-dead YouTube channel, the mockery from this thread, his kids, and whatever sauces manage to escape the closest landfill.

Speaking of whether or not Jack bottled them or not - let's have fun and assume he personally did it, in his garage. (Yes, I know we're already nigh into fantasyland by assuming Jack would expend energy to do something.) How could he fuck it up?

Spoiler: stupid and gay summary of the video

Remember that scene in Breaking Bad season 2 where Hank had a bunch of his home brewed beer bottles start exploding in his garage and he thought it was a home intruder? Funny. Couldn't find the clip but I found some guy make a rambly poorly edited video on how/why the bottles exploded. He gives 3 reasons why (beer) bottles could explode (@ 1:0

A defect in the glass (e.g. scratch) that becomes a weak point and catalyst for explosion. Due to the pressure in the bottle, that weak point spreads all over and the glass shatters. The defects are usually introduced during cleaning/handling, so this usually only affects a few bottles, not an entire batch all at once.

A contamination (bacteria, microbes) getting in the mix that ferments w/ the sugars. How much sugar is in Jacksauce? This is especially a problem if the jars are stored in unsuitable locations, e.g., non-climate controlled garages, kitchen countertops...this could result in all the bottles exploding simultaneously or at least within a few hours of each other.

Overpriming...dunno if this is an issue or not with bbq sauces. The rest of the video goes into issues specifically related to bottling beer so I think the first two are more relevant.

tl;dr If gentle Jack bottled his sauces himself and IF he was being careless when he bottled his sauces, it's possible that he got startled one day at the sound of small explosions and gas shattering in his garage. And Tammy had a long day of cleaning up sugary shit from the driveway.

But all this is irrelevant speculation since he almost certainly outsourced it.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

Speaking of whether or not Jack bottled them or not - let's have fun and assume he personally did it, in his garage. (Yes, I know we're already nigh into fantasyland by assuming Jack would expend energy to do something.) How could he fuck it up?

Spoiler: stupid and gay summary of the video

Remember that scene in Breaking Bad season 2 where Hank had a bunch of his home brewed beer bottles start exploding in his garage and he thought it was a home intruder? Funny. Couldn't find the clip but I found some guy make a rambly poorly edited video on how/why the bottles exploded. He gives 3 reasons why (beer) bottles could explode (@ 1:0

A defect in the glass (e.g. scratch) that becomes a weak point and catalyst for explosion. Due to the pressure in the bottle, that weak point spreads all over and the glass shatters. The defects are usually introduced during cleaning/handling, so this usually only affects a few bottles, not an entire batch all at once.

A contamination (bacteria, microbes) getting in the mix that ferments w/ the sugars. How much sugar is in Jacksauce? This is especially a problem if the jars are stored in unsuitable locations, e.g., non-climate controlled garages, kitchen countertops...this could result in all the bottles exploding simultaneously or at least within a few hours of each other.

Overpriming...dunno if this is an issue or not with bbq sauces. The rest of the video goes into issues specifically related to bottling beer so I think the first two are more relevant.

tl;dr If gentle Jack bottled his sauces himself and IF he was being careless when he bottled his sauces, it's possible that he got startled one day at the sound of small explosions and gas shattering in his garage. And Tammy had a long day of cleaning up sugary shit from the driveway.

But all this is irrelevant speculation since he almost certainly outsourced it.

Hey, that's fine if that's the case because clearly the glass ones that got infected committed suicide before harming the consumer.

Just be glad he didn't tin the sauce (Tinned BBQ sauce...gross huh?) because botulism can assault the container of that for much longer without breaking it. Usually it bulges but as MRESteve learned, sometimes it's not visibly bulging and you end up almost dying after digging into your Ukrainian ration.

 

[Adamska]

Jack did outsource the bottling to a specific company that takes your recipes and bottles for a fee. We actually uncovered that a good while back in the thread, and it's another reason why someone probably should overhaul his OP.

He just lets the sauces stew so long in his garage out of sunk cost fallacy and being miserly with supply but delusional with demands that it rots. He refuses to throw them away since that'd admit failure and he would never recoup the fuckloads he lost. It's also annoying and inconvenient to call and make a batch since work HARRRRD. Hence why his newest batch, while not bad when Rob got them, are likely the standard rotten Jack Sauce we see others try now.

 

[DX10]

Just be glad he didn't tin the sauce (Tinned BBQ sauce...gross huh?) because botulism can assault the container of that for much longer without breaking it. Usually it bulges but as MRESteve learned, sometimes it's not visibly bulging and you end up almost dying after digging into your Ukrainian ration.

That wasn't botulism, that was just straight up food poisoning as a result of contamination during production. If it was botulism Steve would likely not have survived. It was ironically well within shelf life.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

That wasn't botulism, that was just straight up food poisoning as a result of contamination during production. If it was botulism Steve would likely not have survived. It was ironically well within shelf life.

He's gone between saying it was Botulism or E.Coli but whichever it was, it did nearly kill him and fucked him up bad in the hospital. It was before he started the Youtube channel.

 

[Pig Cups]

I've been to plenty of places that will cook burgers to whatever doneness you like if the local laws allow it. I used to know an absolute madman who would always order his burgers blue rare whenever he could. You really have to trust the restaurant's beef though.

“How do you want your burger? Burnt or bloody?”

Fatty's strokeposting on a Friday as usual along with his murderchurch "friends" chiming in:

View attachment 2993441

Michael Ansbro is on my list of favorite Scalfaniverse characters.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

“How do you want your burger? Burnt or bloody?”



Michael Ansbro is on my list of favorite Scalfaniverse characters.
View attachment 2993832

Is he always like that? I never noticed him before.

 

[DX10]

He's gone between saying it was Botulism or E.Coli but whichever it was, it did nearly kill him and fucked him up bad in the hospital. It was before he started the Youtube channel.

It was definitely E.Coli. If it was Botulism then he would have fuckin' known. Botulism is really no joke and entire production lines get shut down when it's suspected. Even a sketchy grey market Ukrainian ration would lead to an FDA/CDC investigation (and technically speaking E.Coli sometimes does) because botulism is deadly shit. It isn't normal food poisoning But Tougher, it's straight up paralytic and can lead to long-term degenerative paralytic effects.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

It was definitely E.Coli. If it was Botulism then he would have fuckin' known. Botulism is really no joke and entire production lines get shut down when it's suspected. Even a sketchy grey market Ukrainian ration would lead to an FDA/CDC investigation (and technically speaking E.Coli sometimes does) because botulism is deadly shit. It isn't normal food poisoning But Tougher, it's straight up paralytic and can lead to long-term degenerative paralytic effects.

Yeah botulism is not something you want to mess with. It's literally the most powerful toxin on the planet we're talking the lethal dose is in micrograms here. Listeria is a walk in the park compared to botulism. And E.Coli will just have the sluices open at both ends for a few days which can land you in the hospital for dehydration. But botulism? No. That's literally the worst of the worst.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

...What?

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

Jack did outsource the bottling to a specific company that takes your recipes and bottles for a fee. We actually uncovered that a good while back in the thread, and it's another reason why someone probably should overhaul his OP.

He just lets the sauces stew so long in his garage out of sunk cost fallacy and being miserly with supply but delusional with demands that it rots. He refuses to throw them away since that'd admit failure and he would never recoup the fuckloads he lost. It's also annoying and inconvenient to call and make a batch since work HARRRRD. Hence why his newest batch, while not bad when Rob got them, are likely the standard rotten Jack Sauce we see others try now.

What a shame, he should have just donated it to his local food bank before it expired. Better than going to waste. But he totally gives his leftovers to the local homeless guys!!!