Ralph's Health & Mental Health - Ethan Ralph is allegedly in a coma according to some career a-log.

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

For anyone that thinks Ralph is a death's door I reccomend you research comedian Artie Lange. He's a former cohost for the Howard Stern show that had a similar fall from grace. Despite crippling cocaine, heroin, alcohol and prostitution addtions, Lange has lived past all expectations.

Artie also by his own admission shits the bed from time to time. Hi Ralph.

 

[Christorian X]

He might even be more fat when you consider that Ralph never exercises and works a sedantary job, so his muscle mass is probably far below average.

It's funny...most people point to BMI not being reliable because it marks high-performance athletes as being obese due to the weight of their pure muscle mass. Meanwhile Ralph is such a completely out-of-shape fat fuck that his already awful BMI is probably being generous to him in terms of how unhealthy he actually is.

There are certainly reasons BMI may not be a viable metric. Ralph's case is not one of them. BMI is a very accurate estimation of Ralph's situation. My original estimate was based on 300lbs at 5'6", he could well be over 300lbs and maybe be even shorter. His BMI could easily exceed 50.

 

[WhoBusTank69]

There are certainly reasons BMI may not be a viable metric. Ralph's case is not one of them. BMI is a very accurate estimation of Ralph's situation. My original estimate was based on 300lbs at 5'6", he could well be over 300lbs and maybe be even shorter. His BMI could easily exceed 50.

You also have to consider the distribution. Fat fucks generally have thick legs but most of, if not all, his weight is centralized in his torso(neck counts too). His arms are twigs and those blubber-luggers beneath him are spindly as hell.

 

[Victim2988]

My bet is on a massive brain hemorrhage (odds are good with the alcoholism, weak heart, pills abuse and massive stress) that will let him cripple and unable to talk, shitting on himself and spitting at the wall during decades in pure frustrated rage against noggers, liberals and brokedickfarm pedophiles while the black or mexican personal at the crappy facility change his diapers.
Nobody will ever visit him.

 

[UCantCCPMe]

You also have to consider the distribution. Fat fucks generally have thick legs but most of, if not all, his weight is centralized in his torso(neck counts too). His arms are twigs and those blubber-luggers beneath him are spindly as hell.

Ralph's BMI is an issue to his health, but we've seen fatter people just keep on chugging despite it (ALR, Chantel, Boogie, ect.). Even his drinking and drug use is a ticking timebomb, but I think stress will be the real triggerman when it comes to the demise of the creature known as hog head.
A dwindling audience and income, scores of alogs mocking him at every turn, a new baby on the way, a squeeing anime pedo wife to put up with, Vickers drama, catching cases both criminal and civil.
It's very probable that stress has contributed to not only his weight gain and heart issues, but also his change over the last 4 years into a thin-skinned gunted pig goblin.

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

I used to think heart attack in the next decade, as that's how Ronnie went, and the angina attack he had in Vegas did bolster the case - I no longer think this is how he will go out.

Instead Ralph will die a violent death, either in a car wreck of his own making or after getting beaten by someone he shit talked. If the last year is anything to go by, it seems he's put his money on this one too.

 

[Christorian X]

I used to think heart attack in the next decade, as that's how Ronnie went, and the angina attack he had in Vegas did bolster the case - I no longer think this is how he will go out.

Instead Ralph will die a violent death, either in a car wreck of his own making or after getting beaten by someone he shit talked. If the last year is anything to go by, it seems he's put his money on this one too.

Maybe we get lucky and he has a heart attack while driving when he sees something engaging on KF and plows his truck into a brick wall to finish the job?

 

[Mossad Facade]

I used to think heart attack in the next decade, as that's how Ronnie went, and the angina attack he had in Vegas did bolster the case - I no longer think this is how he will go out.

Instead Ralph will die a violent death, either in a car wreck of his own making or after getting beaten by someone he shit talked. If the last year is anything to go by, it seems he's put his money on this one too.

I agree quite a bit. Alcoholism is one of his deadly vices and I would bet money that he will be stupid enough to drink and drive. Or he'll talk shit to the wrong person.

 

[Pizza Patrol Police]

I'd say within a decade, from a car crash he caused, possibly drunk, or an altercation that turns deadly.

Possibly farming accident

 

[MeltyTW]

I just noticed how piggy pink red gunt is in general and especially noticeable in the digi fight, is that an alcoholic thing? How fucked is he if that's the case?

 

[ZeDarkKnight]

There are certainly reasons BMI may not be a viable metric. Ralph's case is not one of them. BMI is a very accurate estimation of Ralph's situation. My original estimate was based on 300lbs at 5'6", he could well be over 300lbs and maybe be even shorter. His BMI could easily exceed 50.

No, BMI should only be used for women. Any muscle throws off BMI. It's a stupid, useless metric. And it's easy to see that Ralph is a wimp.

 

[Gunt God]

So there are a lot of life expectancy calculators online for life insurance companies that use NHI data to predict life expectancy. I used one from Northwestern Mutual and put in what I knew about Ralph and got 48 years. This is assuming he has never smoked cigarettes habitually and doesn't drive intoxicated.

Biggest factors I can see are the outrageous BMI, poor diet and no exercise, alcoholism, history of cardiac arrest and drug use. Sadly this is the best case for him. If he is mixing opiates with alcohol, driving intoxicated, or suicidal then there is a good chance he will die much sooner than you might otherwise expect.

It is a sobering thought that at 36 years old he is already 75% through his life just from sheer hedonism and neglect.

 

[State Champ]

This is assuming he... doesn't drive intoxicated.

lol

0% chance this pill-popping, walking distillery doesn't drive drunk/high

 

[Keranu]

These two things are really important. Increase BMI is exponentially more damaging as it increases. Secondly, being sedate is considered medically dangerous long term. Ralph spends his day in a chair. Between moving from the bed to the chair is along walk for him it seems.

I'd offer a third important factor: visceral fat. Fat around the organs is the real killer. Granted if you have a lot of subcutaneous fat, you'll likely carry visceral fat in excess today.

In fact, Ralph is probably carrying a LOT of visceral fat. We've all seen his toothpick legs and relatively thin arms. A good 80% of his fat is stored in the midsection, followed by his jowls, and lastly in the buffalo hump.

Interestingly if you look at the young photo of Ralph holding the birthday cake, his forearms and wrists look notably fuller, and his upper body seems to carry the fat more evenly. Presumably, the Cushings Disease zapped away his muscle tissue and now all his fat hangs off the gunt.

 

[veri]

ralph says he’s lost 11 pounds in the past few weeks which is about 4% of his weight. 225 should be no problem to reach in a short time for someone his size, the weight practically falls off with only a little effort. i’ve lost 18% in that same timeframe before no problem.

my guess is ralph will be 300 by july and either lie about his weigh in or cope astronomically

 

[eDove]

ralph says he’s lost 11 pounds in the past few weeks which is about 4% of his weight. 225 should be no problem to reach in a short time for someone his size, the weight practically falls off with only a little effort. i’ve lost 18% in that same timeframe before no problem.

my guess is ralph will be 300 by july and either lie about his weigh in or cope astronomically
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It's so shitty that he'd swear on God and his mother's grave for something everyone knows, including himself, isn't going to happen. If he laid off the alcohol, maybe he'd have a chance.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

ralph says he’s lost 11 pounds in the past few weeks which is about 4% of his weight. 225 should be no problem to reach in a short time for someone his size, the weight practically falls off with only a little effort. i’ve lost 18% in that same timeframe before no problem.

my guess is ralph will be 300 by july and either lie about his weigh in or cope astronomically
View attachment 3007969

LMAO lost 11 pounds the past few weeks because his face was beaten and operated on so he had to take meals via a straw for a week or more.

 

[Realistic Elephant]

ralph says he’s lost 11 pounds in the past few weeks which is about 4% of his weight. 225 should be no problem to reach in a short time for someone his size, the weight practically falls off with only a little effort. i’ve lost 18% in that same timeframe before no problem.

Flying to Portugal and getting the absolute shit kicked out of you is a pretty decent weight loss method, apparently.

 

[Simply Outplayed-HD]

 

[Realistic Elephant]

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You missed five or six.