Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Kup]

You know, every time I buy the odd SW merchandise, I get a pang of guilt and disgust.

But seeing the Galactic Starcruiser, good god, imagine spending a vacation there. That’s gotta be a special kind of hell, a Sequel-themed nightmare.

The cost is so high that we won’t even get funny content like what we got from Galaxy’s Edge, with the dorks harassing Rey impersonators.

 

[The Valeyard]

There were a couple of posts on Making Star Wars about the plot of Obi-Wan Kenobi, the first of which talking about Leia.

Spoilers: Princess Leia, Kumail Nanjiani, the Inquisitor plot and more in Star Wars: Obi-Wan Kenobi! (Archive)

Spoiler: Article Text

Today rumors are circulating about ten-year-old Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan’s appearance in Star Wars: Obi-Wan Kenobi. I can tell you the rumors are true and fill in the blanks somewhat. I do think it is important to not read too much into the plot points here as there is more to it all than meets the eye in terms of overall story. This is just a sliver of the first third of the series is my guess.

Leaving Tatooine​

Obi-Wan Kenobi leaves Tatooine on a secret mission to save Princess Leia after Bail Organa shows up in Obi-Wan’s cave saying she has been abducted and the Organa’s need his help. Obi-Wan takes public transport off Tatooine, like we see in The Book of Boba Fett, to a world described as “Reno if it were a Star Wars planet” by a source working at Manhattan Beach.

The Plan to Capture​

The Inquisitors have studied the Jedi’s past they are hunting and have an understanding of who was close to certain living Jedi before Order 66. As the hunt for Obi-Wan Kenobi by the Grand Inquisitor commences, the 5th Brother and the vile 3rd sister begin to pull on threads that will spring Kenobi from out of the shadows so they can slay him. The idea is to have Senator Organa’s daughter captured and see who comes to save her. If their intel is correct, they just might catch a big fish like Kenobi.

Kumail Nanjiani and Space Reno​

Remember in Rogue One: Star Wars Story how Cassian had contacts in the shadows he would meet for information? Well, Kenobi travels to a world no one wants to go to, full of crime, scum, and villainy (Space Reno). This is where he meets up with Kumail Nanjiani’s character, a contact of Organa’s and Kenobi’s. Nanjiani’s character then points him to a spice den where Leia is being held captive. A disguised Kenobi then sneaks into the Spice Den and rescues ten-year-old Princess Leia.

I’m hearing such good things about Kumail Nanjiani and his character in this series. More on him later!

Minor correction: I also believe Tom O’Connell plays a fleshed colored black tattoo faced Zabrak in the spice den. The Jedi he plays is not actually a Zabrak. The man is playing so many characters some wires were crossed in a previous report.

Leia​

Leia (Vivien Lyra Blair) has a lot of sassy pep. She is difficult and funny. If you have been following along with me for the last year, I’ve talked about Paper Moon’sinfluence on Star Wars (thanks to Star Wars Santa). That film totally influenced Grogu and his choice to leave his kin and return to Mando. This story for a time, has a lot of the same type of comedic dynamic between Moses Pray and nine-year-old Addie Loggins but with Obi-Wan Kenobi and Leia. But I don’t believe this continues through the entire series, more like a chapter.

This mission is what makes Kenobi’s life very complicated. This and the bigger plan by the Inquisitors inform the rest of the stories here. The series is sounding so good. I cannot wait for May 25th!

Join in on the fun by subscribing to The Making Star Wars Show on YouTube!

The second post from Making Star Wars is about the Inquisitors and why they are on Tatooine.

Star Wars: Obi-Wan Kenobi and the straggler! (Archive)

Spoiler: Article Text

Tensions between Star Wars’ favorite uncle and our hero have never been worse. Uncle Owen is seething about Obi-Wan Kenobi’s proximity to his nephew, Luke Skywalker. Kenobi is hated for doing his job. His life is hard but in some ways his position as defender of Luke Skywalker is even harder. In many ways, none of this is even Kenobi’s fault. Poor guy.

Why is the Grand Inquisitor on Tatooine with his disciples?​

The assumption is the inquisitors are hunting Obi-Wan Kenobi. Over the last year, my sources have informed me that this assumption is incorrect. Kenobi is a pro at sneaking around and not being caught. These chowder-heads could never find Kenobi if he was trying not to be found!

Obi-Wan has spent a decade of his life after Order 66 keeping his head down. Every move Kenobi makes is calculated and the risks are weighed. Kenobi does not make a move that will draw any attention to himself and endanger Luke Skywalker.

However, their safety is shattered when a young Jedi straggler named Nari finds his way to Tatooine. Inspired by Obi-Wan Kenobi’s message from the Jedi beacon, he has a been on a decade long quest of his own. He wants to find Obi-Wan Kenobi, achieve refuge, and restore the Jedi Order.

Obi-Wan’s message read as follows:

“This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen, with the dark shadow of the Empire rising to take their place. This message is a warning and a reminder for any surviving Jedi: trust in the Force. Do not return to the Temple. That time has passed, and our future is uncertain. Avoid Coruscant. Avoid detection. Be secret… but be strong. We will each be challenged: our trust, our faith, our friendships. But we must persevere and, in time, I believe a new hope will emerge. May the Force be with you always.“

What Nari does not know is Obi-Wan has a secret mission bigger than anything Nari could dream of. Obi-Wan does not want to be found. Nari is jeopardizing Kenobi’s mission and he does not even realize it.

A presence I haven’t felt since…​

The Grand Inquisitor, Reva: The Third Sister, and The 5th Brother have tracked Nari to Tatooine. There is some implication they are aware of Nari’s quest to reunite with Kenobi and restore the Jedi Order.

Reva senses Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Grand Inquisitor berates her for thinking she could ever track Kenobi when he himself cannot. This enrages Reva as they interrogate the lifeforms of Tatooine about the young Jedi. Her patience is thin and she’s maiming people who do not comply with her investigation. Uncle Owen observes their brutality and his stomach drops. He thinks Kenobi is making things worse for Luke Skywalker and he needs to get kid home to their farm before he is discovered.

When Kenobi tries to make contact with Luke and give him a gift, Owen is furious.

Good story opportunities​

Nari’s presence on Tatooine is rather smart. This straggler creates a situation where Kenobi remaining on Tatooine is actually putting young Luke Skywalker at risk. Leaving for a time is the better option.

Reva senses both Nari and Kenobi although her compatriots do not. So Nari is incidentally acting as cover for both Luke and Obi-Wan. Nari has no idea that is the case or even what he is walking into.

When Bail Organa asks Obi-Wan Kenobi to leave Tatooine on a mission to save ten-year-old Princess Leia, Kenobi realizes there is an advantage to leaving Luke’s proximity. By leaving the world he is protecting young Skywalker. Leia is as important as Luke and it will pull the Jedi hunters off world. The advantages of leaving far outweigh the risk of staying.

Come join us on The Making Star Wars Show to discuss your thoughts and opinions on today’s story! We are usually live daily a 11am PST.

Apparently there was some drama with Making Star Wars and r/StarWarsLeaks as the article ends with this:

Something Personal to Say​

I really love being a part of the Star Wars community, helping facilitate discussion, and helping manage expectations for up and coming Star Wars stories. “A rising tide lifts all boats” as they say. But over the last year I have been under attack by lies and distortions. These lies have allowed for my work to go uncredited and just taken and reposted to r/StarWarsLeaks who then banned me for these untrue allegations against me (and I remain banned after the truth has been revealed to them).

This video exonerates me from the horrible allegations and character assassination I have had to endure. Yet even with the truth exposed, apparent, and bold there are still those who refuse to cite me and link to my work. Please read my articles here and not at places who take my work or aggregate it.

And please, before you or anyone says anything terrible about me, watch this video which shows the truth and cuts through the distortions of a very sick and ugly part of the Star Wars community. I just wish to move past this and get on with my life and I need the truth out there.

Thanks for your time.

 

[Ghostse]

That's not a terrible plot device to get Obi off Tatooine, but opens the plot hole of Leia not recognizing Kenobi. Edit: Or the ANH message including "Oh also you rescued me when I was 10 and I need bailed out again".
But, as we know - while it could be good, it is Disney so it won't be good.

But we'll have a half-dozen abused wives in this thread talking about """borrowing""" a D+ subscription to give Disney their time and braincells for something they know they won't really enjoy and let us all know they give it a solid C+.

 

[Sneed F91]

First footage of the Galaxy Starcruiser Hotel experience is beginning to surface online via guest footage, and I can't power through it.

I literally can't. Everything from the cast interactions, to the acting, to the "stunts", is so awkward and cheap. This hotel is a literal Prison of Cringe you're forced to endure for four days and $6K.

You know....I think I might have to admit that I was wrong about this one.
The Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser actually looks fucking awesome.

 

[Screamer]

Watching this video of Star Cruiser

Spoiler: thoughts and explanations from slowly watching the video while catching up on the Ukraine war thread

That unfinished concrete look of the entrance to Star Cruiser really says a lot. Nothing about it is Star Wars and it looks cheap. It's exactly what you would expect lazy designers to do.

The screens on the launch pod taking them to the ship in orbit have the lightspeed, jumping to hyperspace effect... wow so lame. Then some droids lock on to dock and then, the screens go off and you're docked. lol. What's the point?

lol of course the captain is an overweight woman. Who apparently helms the ship with "integrity"? Wtf does that even mean? Of course she looks white, so much be painted blue. Second in command or whatever is an overweight black women.

First Order officer is of course a white man. Once again more pretence TFO is just the Empire.

Fun family adventure pretending you're on a cruise ship under Nazi occupation!

The general look of the ship seems to be a cheap version of Avenue 5.

The ship jumping to hyperspace lasts a few seconds lol. So much for the Star Wars immersion. Then pretending to be in secret first order briefings where everyone is holding a phone or a camera filming lol.

People broken into groups for some mini-game of following patterns, pressing buttons and pulling leaver. Where they have no idea what they're meant to do. Then while figuring it out, they complete it... so they actually didn't do it, didn't need to do it. *head smack*

This is so boring to watch.

The lightsabre training is lead by some weird tribe. Women? Oh a black man with an Africanish necklace. Apparently from Jedha.

I can't even tell if the training is doing anything or just moving to light beams. There's a light beam move the sabre to block. The a blaster noise. The guy doing the video explains some lines show how well you're doing, I don't even know if that's true and it looks like everyone is doing the same.

They keep quoting, "light the fire, ignite the spark" is that from TLJ? *eye roll*

There's some orange dude playing a song on a guitar.

The shill guy doing the video is excited and can't believe there is free sparkling water on tap in the atrium. That's how exciting this experience is for him!

The ship is smuggling coaxium for the resistance. Guess what, they need to inject it into the core of the ship for some reason. So imaginative!

Earlier minigame of shooting asteroids seemed to have progressed and being prepped for shooting Tie Fighters while the Millenium Flacon flies around outside. Seems better but over super quick in a way that doesn't seem like quick editing.

Now to the mess hall. Holy fucking shit, the menu is more cringe than you'd think.

Mustafarian Spreads and Breads
Assorted Breads with Pima-Cheese, Dried Redfruit spread, Apricot Relish, Roasted CHando Dip.

That's kind of in bad taste.

Ice Felucian Shrimp Cocktail

Why not something from a known water world? Or you know the planet in The Mandolorian where people literally farmed shrimp.

Braised Bantha Beef Short Rib

Seared Kashyyk Whitefish

CHandrillan Air Cake

Tip Yip Chicken

The Younlings menu has

Flora Freens Salad, Flora Rice Paper Rolls. Fruit Cup.

Grilled Tip Yop Chicken Swords, Chedd-Cheesy Beef Spiral Dumplings, Fried Tip Yop Chickn Chunks and Cheese Pizza.

Can't be bothered typing the rest, it's just shit like Buttered Noodles and other stuff where they dropped the dumb names.

There's another menty which is a Bento Experience, but I can't be bothered typing it out. They also got lazier with their naming.

There's a drink which is the Hoth Icebreaker.

Food looks decent, not sure if these are preview portions or not.

Gia the singing lady is now talking about Coaxium to the guests before singing. So now the guests are listening to her sing songs they've never heard of. How fucking boring would that be? Especially for the kids. Which there appears to be none at this preview besides someone carrying a baby that is occasionally crying in the background.

When she finishes singing, the sounds of clapping and applause doesn't seem to match the reaction when the camera pans to those watching. Which is interesting. Is it piped in?

Kids might like the press button games, but they'll be bored as fuck with this acting and story telling shit. Even the adults all look bored. Just sitting through it.

Now there's some pretend alarm, they're being rushed out and the guy isn't even finished eating. How annoying.

Now Kylo Renn has appeared... it seems Rey was secretly onboard.

She ignites one of those extending light sabres we've seen the Imagineers hype. Which is hilarious. She has the handle, it unspools into a blade. Looks cool. Then immediately reaches down onto the ground, out of view of the crowd and picks up a different light sabre she can actually fight with.

lol

The fighting is bad.

Yoda's ghost appears, seems to be talking gibberish.

Thinks his wife and kid probably won't like it. Doesn't even understand how the actual experience would be.

I get the impression, this 4 hour version is probably the best version.

Does the shill thing, saying it's good, but in trying to explain it, he is struggling to find positive words.

 

[Screamer]

I can kind of see how particularly dumb 30+ year old consoomers would like the place just based on the thumbnails, since there's this obnoxious neon to it that evokes tacky nineties designs.

All I do know is I'd get more immersion, fun, and for a fuckload cheaper price by going to a mini golf course.

I just can't help but think the only 30+ consoomers that'd actually pay for this would be spectrum, socially awkward ones. Who would choose to spend this money on a fake experience because they're too intimidated to go have a real experience.

Where their interactions with the cast would be awkward. They wouldn't know how to interact to the script. They couldn't just go along with the flow for the fun of it. They'd probably focus in on the details and not have fun. Annoy the shit out of the staff.

Whereas this would be best enjoyed by people who are generally upbeat, positive and don't really give a fuck. They'd just go with the flow, enjoy whatever because it's something unique. Which are probably not people who'd choose to waste money on this. As they'd already be experiencing and wanting to experience real-world shit.

Even for people where the cost isn't an issue, they'd have gone and travelled, done enough cool real-world shit. Where their interest probably wouldn't be that great. in doing this. Unless they really had time and money to waste.

There's no way this won't permanently become a 4 hour or day long experience relatively soon.

 

[The Valeyard]

@Screamer the most amusement I got from that video of Galactic Starcruiser was seeing the stormtrooper struggling with the First Order banner at 39:14 after their takeover of the Halcyon.

 

[Kup]

That's not a terrible plot device to get Obi off Tatooine, but opens the plot hole of Leia not recognizing Kenobi.
But, as we know - while it could be good, it is Disney so it won't be good.

But we'll have a half-dozen abused wives in this thread talking about """borrowing""" a D+ subscription to give Disney their time and braincells for something they know they won't really enjoy and let us all know they give it a solid C+.

I always get a kick out of the “I just borrow a subscription”, just fucking own up to it.

 

[Sneed F91]

Yes, this is supposed to be Star Wars themed. There's no way to actually tell other than the stairs to the left that look like the ones from the Vader duel in ESB.

Does anybody remember how Star Tours at Disneyland didn't give a single fuck about canon (going from OT to PT and back) and was a way better ride because of it?

The first thing that stuck out to me: The whole thing is filled with OCs the customers have never heard of before and aren't related in any way to the characters they actually care about. The Halcyon is part of the Rebelsistance, but is never mentioned once anywhere in the movies or anything that's important. I'm not gonna shit on the cast members too much because they're just Disneydrones doing their jobs. The FO officer chewing the most scenery (which is surprisingly accurate to the shitty not-Empire in the movies) and hitting on every female OC was mildly amusing. Most of you have already said what I've thought for the most part: it looks like cheap junk. Two Soytroopers? That's it? Some of the little details are cool which is something Imagineering was always good at.

It's too clean (which I mean it should be, it's a hotel, but it's not Star Wars) and the production design is totally off. It's just a bunch of fucking screens everywhere. There is zero reasons as to why all of these "experiences" couldn't have just been in Galaxy's Edge on opening day. I love the pay-to-win badges to let the common plebs know you dropped 6k to stand in line to ride 2 rides at WDW that are already difficult to get on in the first place without paying a premium. You have to 100% the LARP like a video game in the first place to "unlock" everything you paid for in the first place.

I will say it was way more packed than I thought I would be be. I know it's an opening preview but the whole thing is filled with the Disney fans, families, and soylets I would have expected to pay 6 grand for something like this. I hope someone makes a photo collage of all the perfect consoomer specimens in the video.

It still makes no sense that most Star Wars fans of a certain age are fans of the OT yet not making this dumb LARP hotel themed around a cheap deconstructionist copy of the OT. You have to remember that the only people who are willing to spend money on this are the type of Disney Wars fans who didn't feel like they got shat on by TFA, TLJ, or TROS, which isn't many people. The whole thing looks kind of exhausting too, like they're trying to shove everybody into having the same "perfect" Star Wars experience as fast as possible, even though if you know anything about Disney vacations they're always far from perfect.

I can totally imagine this being turned into a one day thing in the future, since it got old 30 minutes into the video. I can't imagine doing a LARP like this for more than a day. You can find signed Star Wars merch on eBay for under $6,000. Unlike a ride at the parks, there's no reason to do this thing more than once, or at all. The YT videos proved that. Watching this thing crash and burn in the future will be really entertaining.

Does it make me sound like an asshole if I want to see people acting like they do in the Disney parks now, AKA like wild dickheads, and fucking things up out of sheer curiosity for how the employees would react to the LARP not going to plan? Things will eventually go wrong no matter what though.

Just remember: Disney is still totally decanonizing the sequels guys.

 

[TheAmbiguousLurker]

My favourite part is when the Rey Actress comes out, ignites the latest expensive-as-fuck toy lightsaber you can buy, holds it up high... And then out of nowhere awkwardly drops down behind the railing so she can pick up a clearly different prop lightsaber that she can actually play fight with.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

Man, seeing random clips of that hotel stuff is just embarrassing.

 

[Ghostse]

This is a Star Cruiser launching into deep space of a galaxy far away! ....of course your phone works. And of course the oppressive Nazi stand ins will let you keep them, use them, and awkwardly stand around filming with them. Why wouldn't they? Now would you like a refill on your pepsi?

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

This is getting me to think that a Prequel-era park made during the era of real Lucasfilm would have work more satisfactorily. Wouldn't be stuck watching Rey and Kylo fight all the time and instead it would have been various aliens with minimal makeup (for peripheral vision reasons) getting into lightsaber duels. Also, since it would have been 20 years ago, ticket prices would have been lower even when inflation is factored in, so more people wouldn't have thought the quality was a rip.

 

[Ghostse]

I was trying to find just the utensils clip, but actually the whole first half of the scene is pretty relevant - except the combat isn't completely cringe.

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

I was trying to find just the utensils clip, but actually the whole first half of the scene is pretty relevant - except the combat isn't completely cringe.

I miss Medieval Times. Only went once due to not liking having to eat with my hands, but it was a quality show.

 

[Marcus the Mong]

Adults who go to that Star Wars hotel and don't have children with them should be redirected straight into a gas chamber.
You could even make it a show, "Oh no, it looks like Kylo Ren is using force choke on you!" spoken to you by a bad animatronic as the light fades.

 

[Creep3r]

View attachment 3019534
Yes, this is supposed to be Star Wars themed. There's no way to actually tell other than the stairs to the left that look like the ones from the Vader duel in ESB.

Does anybody remember how Star Tours at Disneyland didn't give a single fuck about canon (going from OT to PT and back) and was a way better ride because of it?

The first thing that stuck out to me: The whole thing is filled with OCs the customers have never heard of before and aren't related in any way to the characters they actually care about. The Halcyon is part of the Rebelsistance, but is never mentioned once anywhere in the movies or anything that's important. I'm not gonna shit on the cast members too much because they're just Disneydrones doing their jobs. The FO officer chewing the most scenery (which is surprisingly accurate to the shitty not-Empire in the movies) and hitting on every female OC was mildly amusing. Most of you have already said what I've thought for the most part: it looks like cheap junk. Two Soytroopers? That's it? Some of the little details are cool which is something Imagineering was always good at.

It's too clean (which I mean it should be, it's a hotel, but it's not Star Wars) and the production design is totally off. It's just a bunch of fucking screens everywhere. There is zero reasons as to why all of these "experiences" couldn't have just been in Galaxy's Edge on opening day. I love the pay-to-win badges to let the common plebs know you dropped 6k to stand in line to ride 2 rides at WDW that are already difficult to get on in the first place without paying a premium. You have to 100% the LARP like a video game in the first place to "unlock" everything you paid for in the first place.

I will say it was way more packed than I thought I would be be. I know it's an opening preview but the whole thing is filled with the Disney fans, families, and soylets I would have expected to pay 6 grand for something like this. I hope someone makes a photo collage of all the perfect consoomer specimens in the video.

It still makes no sense that most Star Wars fans of a certain age are fans of the OT yet not making this dumb LARP hotel themed around a cheap deconstructionist copy of the OT. You have to remember that the only people who are willing to spend money on this are the type of Disney Wars fans who didn't feel like they got shat on by TFA, TLJ, or TROS, which isn't many people. The whole thing looks kind of exhausting too, like they're trying to shove everybody into having the same "perfect" Star Wars experience as fast as possible, even though if you know anything about Disney vacations they're always far from perfect.

I can totally imagine this being turned into a one day thing in the future, since it got old 30 minutes into the video. I can't imagine doing a LARP like this for more than a day. You can find signed Star Wars merch on eBay for under $6,000. Unlike a ride at the parks, there's no reason to do this thing more than once, or at all. The YT videos proved that. Watching this thing crash and burn in the future will be really entertaining.

Does it make me sound like an asshole if I want to see people acting like they do in the Disney parks now, AKA like wild dickheads, and fucking things up out of sheer curiosity for how the employees would react to the LARP not going to plan? Things will eventually go wrong no matter what though.

Just remember: Disney is still totally decanonizing the sequels guys.

I remember mocking the concept art for the hotel I posted many pages back and how gay it would all look and thinking there was a good chance it would look way cheaper and more awful once finalized. Glad to see I was right, but I never thought it would look this cheap and small. I've seen dollar stores more spacious than this crap. Even their crappy ronto roast restaurant in the park is more spacious and SW-esque than this crap and that's only because it was a leftover from when the park was supposed to be Tatooine before Alan Horn and KK decided to faggify it further to appease retarded sequel fags and Daisy Ridley simps.

 

[King Dead]

My favourite part is when the Rey Actress comes out, ignites the latest expensive-as-fuck toy lightsaber you can buy, holds it up high... And then out of nowhere awkwardly drops down behind the railing so she can pick up a clearly different prop lightsaber that she can actually play fight with.

The best part is how any dumb kids (or dumb consoomers) who see that are gonna think their toy lightsabers are going to stand up to similar swordfighting, then cry their little/soy-filled hearts out when it shatters after one hit.

Maybe that's part of the Rat's plan. After all, when their lightsaber breaks, they're gonna need to buy another one.

 

[Dom Cruise]

It's completely laughable, they're banking on some psychological factor where you refuse to let yourself be disappointed because of the money you spent or people who are so retarded they'd pay 100 dollars for a styrofoam cup with "Star Wars" written on it in sharpie.

It's a cool idea, in fact fyi Disney toyed with the idea of making a hotel where there was a LARP element in the form of a murder mystery guests could solve for a prize, they also considered making a hotel that actually had a ride, these ideas became the Tower of Terror ride at Hollywood studios.

But this execution is laughable, Disney's modus operandi is to spend as little money as possible while charging as much as possible, the opposite of how Walt did things.

It also just fills my heart with sadness to think of what Star Wars once was a franchise and how that's forever lost to us.

 

[Marissa Moira]

I miss Medieval Times. Only went once due to not liking having to eat with my hands, but it was a quality show.

The company apparently survived covid. They're still around.