Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Xenomorphs Are Cute]

 

[Mr. Zed da Robot Poon Fed]

Imagine spending that amount of money when going to Florida and not instead going to South Florida to stay at some beachside hotel where instead you can stare at women's bare butt cheeks, I know what I'd rather do.


It is literally a con job, Disney is in the business of conning marks with this hotel, you look at how hilariously cheap it looks, how much money they're charging and you realize this is not even the Disney of the Eisner era, this is a Disney of full on con artists.

I fucking hate it.

I could probably hire a prostitute, have her dress up in Star Wars attire, and get more enjoyment out of that with a fraction of the price tag this star cruiser provides for 30-year old consoomers.

 

[Ghostse]

I could probably hire a prostitute, have her dress up in Star Wars attire, and get more enjoyment out of that with a fraction of the price tag this star cruiser provides for 30-year old consoomers.

For $1500 a night, I bet she'd not only do whatever star wars dress up you wanted, but she'd probably put on a more convincing light saber fight.

 

[Screamer]

The other aspect about the price that puzzles me is that Disney World is already expensive and it will always be the main attraction.

Most people would start planning a trip to Disney World. Star Cruiser would be an optional extra to consider after the fact.

One that is expensive and would require them to either have a longer trip, or get less time at Disney World, Orlando and the surrounding area.

It's a poor proposition.

Most people would always prioritise Disney World and the trip they wanted to do. Not wanting to cut into the limited time they already have to experience everything.

For those extending the trip, when it comes down to it. I think most would just decide to extend their trip. Have a couple of extra days and not bother with SC. Even if they can afford it.

Even those that start planning their trip with Star Cruiser first and foremost in their mind. I assume the majority would be planning a trip of Star Cruiser and a proper Disney World trip.

When it actually came to budgeting out the trip. When looking at the cost on paper. I think a lot would ditch Star Cruiser.

Think of anyone, if you gave them a choice between Star Cruiser for two days. Or a week at Disneyworld. Almost everyone would choose Disney World.

$6 grand extra on a trip, for two days. You would only choose it if you really want to do it and that money would really have to mean nothing to you.

Whatever metrics they might have about interest and potential guests. I suspect it's far lower, because it's one thing to be able to afford it and be interested. It's another to look at the proposition of it on paper, the cost and decide to pull the trigger.

 

[Ishtar]

Utter brainlet realizes Palpatine might be bad.

Are you kidding, Darth Sidious, the Sith'ari, Dark Lord of the Sith is absolutely a good guy. The man who brought down the rotting republic and destroyed the failing Jedi Order, in completion of a thousand-year revenge plot. And who came tantalizing close to the Sith's ancient dream-mastery over life and death.

 

[TinCan Wizard]

Are you kidding, Darth Sidious, the Sith'ari, Dark Lord of the Sith is absolutely a good guy. The man who brought down the rotting republic and destroyed the failing Jedi Order, in completion of a thousand-year revenge plot. And who came tantalizing close to the Sith's ancient dream-mastery over life and death.

Ackchyually, Bane is the Sith'ari.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

30 to 40 year old consommers continue to gush over Disney Product makes me puke. And keep in mind, most of them are sexless virgins.

 

[RA-5C Vigilante]

The Star Cruiser previews have inspired me to make a horror game:

Four Nights at Fanboys, where there are no jumpscares, but the horror of dealing with bugmen and Disney fans for four days in a windowless building, being forced to interact with actors and your fellow "people", and losing 6k for the privilege is enough to give me the willies just typing this!

 

[Sneed F91]

Walt Disney Presents: A $6,000 experience.

 

[King Dead]

The other aspect about the price that puzzles me is that Disney World is already expensive and it will always be the main attraction.

Most people would start planning a trip to Disney World. Star Cruiser would be an optional extra to consider after the fact.

One that is expensive and would require them to either have a longer trip, or get less time at Disney World, Orlando and the surrounding area.

It's a poor proposition.

Most people would always prioritise Disney World and the trip they wanted to do. Not wanting to cut into the limited time they already have to experience everything.

For those extending the trip, when it comes down to it. I think most would just decide to extend their trip. Have a couple of extra days and not bother with SC. Even if they can afford it.

Even those that start planning their trip with Star Cruiser first and foremost in their mind. I assume the majority would be planning a trip of Star Cruiser and a proper Disney World trip.

When it actually came to budgeting out the trip. When looking at the cost on paper. I think a lot would ditch Star Cruiser.

Think of anyone, if you gave them a choice between Star Cruiser for two days. Or a week at Disneyworld. Almost everyone would choose Disney World.

$6 grand extra on a trip, for two days. You'd really want to do it and that money would really have to mean nothing to you.

Whatever metrics they might have about interest and potential guests. I suspect it's far lower, because it's one thing to be able to afford it and be interested. It's another to look at the proposition of it on paper, the cost and decide to pull the trigger.

That may be the Starcruiser's biggest issue: instead of creating an attraction that draws guests away from other Orlando attractions, Disney is inadvertently competing with themselves. Most guests are either going to choose a Disney World vacation or the Starcruiser instead of choosing between a combo of those and another park like Universal, so in the end Disney isn't making that much more money. And as time goes on and more reviews get out there beyond the initial shills and consoomers, I think more and more are going to stick with the tried and true Disney World than spending two days on a shitty LARP.

I think a big impetus behind Galaxy's Edge and the Starcruiser is the Wizarding World attractions at Universal Studios. Though it originally opened in 2010, it had a major expansion in 2014, and it became a massive hit with fans and park guests, with pretty intense lines for the attractions and people forking over lots of cash to try foods and buy souvenirs from the Harry Potter world. This was only a couple years into Disney's ownership of Star Wars, and they saw the hype and decided they could do the same with their newly-acquired Star Wars property. Not to mention, they were also in the process of doing something similar with the Avatar area at Animal Kingdom. A recognizable and mega-popular brand combined with the creative power of the Imagineering department and boatloads of funding from the Rat should have been an easy slam dunk.

Instead, everything went wrong.

One of the big hindrances to the success of the Star Wars parks was the insistence by the higher-ups to tie them so heavily to the Disney Trilogy, instead of the much more popular OT (or even PT). Now, at the time, this wasn't necessarily a bad idea; remember that Galaxy's Edge was announced in the summer of 2015, before even TFA had released. Not only did it make sense to tie the theme parks to the new movies for branding purposes, this was before the mixed-to-poor reactions to Disney's output had made themselves known. It is a bit odd that notoriously risk-averse Disney chose not to take the safe route with an OT-themed park, however, especially when the Imagineers had already been working on a design for one in the years prior. I guess I can give them a little credit in setting the park on an entirely new world as opposed to playing it completely safe and going with something like Tatooine, but that's kind of the opposite of what you want to do for a theme park. You want things people recognize that draw them in; yeah, the Millennium Falcon is there, but imagine how many more people would show up if it were parked in Mos Eisley instead of some random Outer Rim OC donut steel planet.

Then there was the long time it took to actually build the parks and get them open to the public. I don't know this for sure, but I suspect the length had something to do with trying to build and open two identical parks simultaneously, possibly splitting the developers' time between the two. If they'd focused their resources on one park (in the much more spacious WDW complex, for instance), they could have produced a larger and more elaborate park that delivered on the idea of an immersive Star Wars experience. Instead, they made two identically small and shitty parks that barely opened before the Disney Trilogy ended, and by the time they did, public perception of Star Wars was in a decline, and about to get worse.

Let's not forget the cost-cutting measures and construction issues that led to a dramatic scaling back of planned features. Never-before-tried technology for the Rise of the Resistance ride failed miserably, forcing them to resort to cheaper, less-flashy options. Animatronics broke down and were replaced with more screens. A hurricane blew through and damaged the construction site, and so on. And even when it opened, shit broke down repeatedly, so the only real option for unlucky parkgoers was to head to the stores and buy some overpriced junk.

Above all, executive meddling really killed these parks' potential before they even got off the ground. Aside from the aforementioned decision to focus on the Disney Trilogy, there was the boneheaded decision to turn the Star Wars hotel into a LARP experience and charge out the ass for it. Again, bizarre that Disney didn't go for the safe and easy option of a regular hotel with Star Wars theming, but my guess is that this was some executive's pet project that they refused to let go of. Continuing to push DT shit isn't helping matters there either.

The result is two mediocre and identical parks with a couple boring rides (when they work) and a glorified shopping mall, and an overpriced LARP hotel that costs as much for a two-night stay as an entire Disney World vacation. Because the parks are identical, there's no reason to visit the other if you've seen one, so there's no draw to visit both parks. They're already dated thanks to the lackluster reception of the Disney Trilogy, and would require a substantial overhaul to theme them around more popular Star Wars media. It's honestly impressive how much they've managed to fuck up, but that's pretty much been the entirety of Disney's tenure with Star Wars: take the easiest franchise to make money with and run it into the ground.

 

[xXx: State of the Union]

Walt Disney Presents: A $6,000 experience.

View attachment 3024298

Now you too can live out your fantasy of living in a Star Wars fan film

 

[wholetthegodsout]

Walt Disney Presents: A $6,000 experience.

View attachment 3024298

There had to have been a creative staging way to hide that light saber swap. Maybe a burst of smoke or something? I don’t know anything to make it look less awkward.


Instead of a point and click rebel assault ripoff on the bridge why didn’t they invest in immersive x-wing vs tie fighter simulation pods where guests could dogfight against each other as imperials and rebels in an immersive gaming experience. In fact that would be a way more interesting attraction for galaxy edge that could even include fun larping as the performers could be wearing the iconic orange flight suits and tie fighter outfits. I guess it’s a little hardcore for some but I think your Star Wars world should have stuff for kids, stuff for casuals, and stuff for hardcore SW spergs and larpers.

 

[Adamska]

A decent chunk of last night I had was me mocking the shit out of one of the hotel itself. I'll highlight the things I said that were most apparent:

1. The screens they use to hide the outside world suck; they reflect the interior and it blatantly makes the entire thing look fake. One of them even broke within 2 seconds, which is amazing.
2. The graphic effects of the screens suck shit. We're talking ranging from PS2 era graphics to SEGA CD level cutscene. There were times I honestly though that Kane from Command and Conquer would hijack the relays and declare jihad with the Brotherhood of Nod. I also would not be shocked if the bugmen decided to agree.
3. Out of the costumes I saw, only the 4 Ducktroopers and the Rodian mask had any love, care or effort put into it. All the other costumes looked cheap and like the fabric you'd use in a high quality Party City costume. The Thicc Twilek who shockingly had an innuendo line (seriously that shocked and impressed me) looked like a good cosplay rather than a good costume. The less said about Kilo Ren the better. That poor actor did not have his build, looked fat, and his costume looked like they stole it from the Walmart Dumpster.
4. The food is a massive goddamn rip off. The only note of positivity I'll grant it is that the vegetable stir-fry knock off with the miso vinaigrette probably tasted really good, and the filet mignon with potatoes also probably tasted great. Their portion servings are insulting for the price, and likely a Cheapek cut.
5. The dinner entertainment group is going to be fired within months, because that's what always happens with these stupid things, and it's a shame. Since the dinner entertainment with them performing actually gave minimal value to this place. They were 7/10 pretty decent.
6. The fueling activity probably came from Jedi Temple Challenge, in fact several items for their activities probably were stolen from that game show that Cheapass cancelled.
7. They couldn't even get Hugo Boss surplus from The War for the First Order officer. What the fuck, that uniform looks like it was made from bedsheets.
8. The black jedi person I guess looks like what a racist white grampa who worked at DC comics would create if he was forced to write a black person by the higher ups for an ensemble comic. He looks like he got shat out of a 70s blaxploitation film right before he fights the Bruce Lee impersonator. The short fro, the bad blue kung fu outfit, and the tribal necklaces just... *chef kiss* reeks of racism.
9. The fact they had a crippled person in the background for their stupid promo showing the manservants. That felt cynical and violently disgusting. It's the same cynical reasoning that XO Jamima exists. I am sorry to both actors that they are used due to their melanin content and physical deformities rather than their actual talent. It is disgusting.
10. The place looks more like a North Korean detention center on the outside, and Sevastopol Station from Alien Isolation on the inside than it does something Star Wars. It also reminded me of the Enterprise-D in color. It doesn't work for Star Wars; they should've done a Theed hotel.
11. The lightsaber training activity will cause seizures. The lights fucking strobe, meaning that it will likely be removed post haste.
12. The bunk accommodations look terrible. They could not be fucked to add sheets or a comforter on the main bed, and the side beds for children (the twins) look more like where the terrible narcissistic bugmen would trap them and lock them up so they can indulge in their selfish autism alone, with no sobbing children stopping them.
13. The locks look digital, which means they will fail, and you will be robbed and/or raped probably.
14. The execution bus isn't even done it seems, since they don't show the interior. So yeah, I guess they need to remove the bloodstains or something like that.
15. The conveyor belt they use to pull Rey toward Kilo Ren moves slow and the force pull looked garbage. The entire fight was garbage the moment it began with Rey showing the new toy and then ducking to get one that probably won't break instantly. The fight also shows how goddamn fake and stupid those sabers are, and Kilo's almost broke after the second hit.
16. The main fadecut waitress I guess reminded me of Richard Spencer due to that awful cut; she probably should pick a better short hair style. It was awkward and reminded me of Disney condoning and paying for Genocide in real life and in their own films.

This was an atrocity, and I would rather go to the giant hotel in Pyongyang, North Korea than go to this hate crime of a location.

 

[Imperial Citizen]

A decent chunk of last night I had was me mocking the shit out of one of the hotel itself. I'll highlight the things I said that were most apparent:

1. The screens they use to hide the outside world suck; they reflect the interior and it blatantly makes the entire thing look fake. One of them even broke within 2 seconds, which is amazing.
2. The graphic effects of the screens suck shit. We're talking ranging from PS2 era graphics to SEGA CD level cutscene. There were times I honestly though that Kane from Command and Conquer would hijack the relays and declare jihad with the Brotherhood of Nod. I also would not be shocked if the bugmen decided to agree.
3. Out of the costumes I saw, only the 4 Ducktroopers and the Rodian mask had any love, care or effort put into it. All the other costumes looked cheap and like the fabric you'd use in a high quality Party City costume. The Thicc Twilek who shockingly had an innuendo line (seriously that shocked and impressed me) looked like a good cosplay rather than a good costume. The less said about Kilo Ren the better. That poor actor did not have his build, looked fat, and his costume looked like they stole it from the Walmart Dumpster.
4. The food is a massive goddamn rip off. The only note of positivity I'll grant it is that the vegetable stir-fry knock off with the miso vinaigrette probably tasted really good, and the filet mignon with potatoes also probably tasted great. Their portion servings are insulting for the price, and likely a Cheapek cut.
5. The dinner entertainment group is going to be fired within months, because that's what always happens with these stupid things, and it's a shame. Since the dinner entertainment with them performing actually gave minimal value to this place. They were 7/10 pretty decent.
6. The fueling activity probably came from Jedi Temple Challenge, in fact several items for their activities probably were stolen from that game show that Cheapass cancelled.
7. They couldn't even get Hugo Boss surplus from The War for the First Order officer. What the fuck, that uniform looks like it was made from bedsheets.
8. The black jedi person I guess looks like what a racist white grampa who worked at DC comics would create if he was forced to write a black person by the higher ups for an ensemble comic. He looks like he got shat out of a 70s blaxploitation film right before he fights the Bruce Lee impersonator. The short fro, the bad blue kung fu outfit, and the tribal necklaces just... *chef kiss* reeks of racism.
9. The fact they had a crippled person in the background for their stupid promo showing the manservants. That felt cynical and violently disgusting. It's the same cynical reasoning that XO Jamima exists. I am sorry to both actors that they are used due to their melanin content and physical deformities rather than their actual talent. It is disgusting.
10. The place looks more like a North Korean detention center on the outside, and Sevastopol Station from Alien Isolation on the inside than it does something Star Wars. It also reminded me of the Enterprise-D in color. It doesn't work for Star Wars; they should've done a Theed hotel.
11. The lightsaber training activity will cause seizures. The lights fucking strobe, meaning that it will likely be removed post haste.
12. The bunk accommodations look terrible. They could not be fucked to add sheets or a comforter on the main bed, and the side beds for children (the twins) look more like where the terrible narcissistic bugmen would trap them and lock them up so they can indulge in their selfish autism alone, with no sobbing children stopping them.
13. The locks look digital, which means they will fail, and you will be robbed and/or raped probably.
14. The execution bus isn't even done it seems, since they don't show the interior. So yeah, I guess they need to remove the bloodstains or something like that.
15. The conveyor belt they use to pull Rey toward Kilo Ren moves slow and the force pull looked garbage. The entire fight was garbage the moment it began with Rey showing the new toy and then ducking to get one that probably won't break instantly. The fight also shows how goddamn fake and stupid those sabers are, and Kilo's almost broke after the second hit.
16. The main fadecut waitress I guess reminded me of Richard Spencer due to that awful cut; she probably should pick a better short hair style. It was awkward and reminded me of Disney condoning and paying for Genocide in real life and in their own films.

This was an atrocity, and I would rather go to the giant hotel in Pyongyang, North Korea than go to this hate crime of a location.

When Yakov's Dinner Adventure sounds like a better use of time and money, you know that you've fucked up.

 

[The Lawgiver]

I was trying to find just the utensils clip, but actually the whole first half of the scene is pretty relevant - except the combat isn't completely cringe.

I went to medieval times as a kid in the 2000s it was fucking cool eating fried food while watching people in knight costumes beating the ever loving shit out of each other with prop weapons.

It also wasn't SIX THOUSAND FUCKING DOLLARS TO RESERVE A FUCKING SEAT.

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

I went to medieval times as a kid in the 2000s it was fucking cool eating fried food while watching people in knight costumes beating the ever loving shit out of each other with prop weapons.

It also wasn't SIX THOUSAND FUCKING DOLLARS TO RESERVE A FUCKING SEAT.

IKR?! $70 is pretty good considering the services rendered.

 

[Kup]

I reread Maul: Lockdown, one of the last EU books and one that I have a lot of nostalgia for. While reading during my lunch break I found a line that is just fantastic.

Thought I’d share it with you.

The book is great btw, Maul, arena fights, space prison, Jabba, Bando Gora, Plagueis and a surprisingly deep ending.

Spoiler: Spoilers for those who give a fuck

So it ends with Maul, Komari Vosa and a young kid escaping the prison. Komari is coming onto Maul hard and it’s stated the kid all but worships Maul.

He has the ideal action hero ending, goth GF, young sidekick and Komari all but tells Maul to make the kid his protégé and to ditch Sidious. But he doesn’t care, he doesn’t celebrate, he just sits in the cargo hold waiting for Sidious to contact him and to receive some crumb of attention from his “father”, it’s incredibly sad.

 

[Optimus Prime]

14. The execution bus isn't even done it seems, since they don't show the interior. So yeah, I guess they need to remove the bloodstains or something like that.

Are you talking about the box truck? Because I've seen footage of it. It's literally a windowless version of an intercity bus - apparently it's a ten minute ride that caused at least one reviewer to get motion sick. If anything, it's a sad half-assed experience reminiscent of the beginning of the original Star Tours except nothing goes wrong.

 

[The Lawgiver]

The most expensive thing in this "experience" looking at the hotel seems ot be the random alien that looks like Greedo's ex-wife. Fucker's got the voice, moving mouth AND face on the mask. No clue if the lines are pre-recorded like the first order stormtroopers or they're actually paying the actress to go all "AU ABBA SOO LOO EEBA GABBA GABBA YO DUDUFARTY".
Speaking of which, it's always fucking bothered me how they just use stock voiceclips for the stormtroopers instead of just giving them mics in their helmets. Shit's blatantly more expensive but in a nonsensical way because stormtroopers aren't all the same dude genetically like clones are. ESPECIALLY first order ones which are child slaves. But I think they kinda conveniently forgot the child slave thing. Kinda like they seem to have forgotten in this "experience" that the first order is not a government body thatcan just "inspect"ships like it's the empire. They're supposed to be supposed to be a faction of terrorists who were imperial loyalists that fled into the deep regions of space to recoup when the emperor fucking went boom with the death star II's reactor core. Seriously though why in the fuck are they referring to "the resistence" likeit's the rebel alliance when they're literally the republic's new military branch post-killing the dude that temporarily turned the republic into an empire?

Tl;Dr
TFW no Maclunkey GF to spout gibberish alien funny language with.

EDIT TO AVOID DOUBLE-POSTING: On the subject of stormtroopers, this has been gestating in my brain for a while in terms of shit that bothers me. So stormtroopers are basically just government military/police guys in the OG star wars trilogy, complete jobbers for the powers that be. The first order stormtroopers are sith cult/imperial loyalist child slave soldiers. Something tells me that with the way shit works there'd stilbe normal stormtroopers after the empire fell given the republic had "republic troopers" and "clone troopers" which were more or less variants of the same kind of thing, yet all we see are the ex-rebel alliance guys now doing the military role as "the resistance" Was there a stormtrooper genocide offscreen or did disney just forget/throw away an oppurtunity to have stormtroopers from the OT facing of against the duckfaced ones from their trilogy? Probably the latter but the former would be an especially fucked up kind of funny.

 

[Kramer on the phone]

I always get a kick out of the “I just borrow a subscription”, just fucking own up to it.

its the modern day "I read it for the articles" bit.

WTF you're right. I just went to their website and the price of tickets is around $70, which is pretty damn good all things considered.

better go now, all their food is the stuff that's increasing in price by double digits every month.

There is a solution for those who are smarter than 13th century serf
View attachment 3021032

I GOT 9 FORKS RIGHT HERE BUDDY!!!!

I know we talk about this a lot on this forum and this isn't just directly related to Star Wars, but the rot that's set in in society these last ten years is terrifying, there's just something stomach turning about these people you mention.

I first noticed it in a big way in 2014, it's people that just seem fundamentally anti-human, there's a creepy emptiness to them.

It is just people that grew up fully marinated in a hyper corporate culture and never had any exposure to older things like Religion, classic literature, even classic film?

I fucking hate it.

I mean, we all lived through the era of having every movie avalible to stream on netflix or youtube or pirate sites, its their own fault if they don't have a good cultural knowledge, you'd be surprised how many retards actually hate films like Clue. Face it we have way more losers with dogshit tastes than people imagine. if it weren't for that one jew over on CBS we'd probably still have westerns on tv.

Honestly though i would 100% spend $6k on a weekend for a hotel based on John Waters or Gregg Araki's films. But just based on the fanbases for those, there is no way in hell they'd half-ass that type of experience the way the mouse does. plus there's a 100% shot of getting laid and high.

And i bet most people know at least one creator they wouldn't mind dropping that type of cash to experience to hang out with, and usually the more indie the weirder and cooler the stuff is. hell Troma movies have a budget of 6K but any convention is extremely cheap to attend ($20) and you're practically guaranteed coke, anal and a BJ. You just can't be too picky on the whole giving and receiving parts.

Even with space operas, usually you'd watch Star Wars as a kid then get into 40k and authors like Sergei Lukyanenko as an adult. Honestly It reminds me of these conservative guys that try to become screenwriters but only their favorite film is some big budget explodeathon, meanwhile most of the middle school theatre kids already enter their performing arts school with knowledge of Theatre of the Absurd and epic theatre and just want to create these weird works on shoestring budgets. Imagine trying to get a writing job when you have the same tastes that your co-workers left behind around the age they started menstruating.

If we're being honest its sort of a good thing retards tastes are so consolidated now and so blatant. People act like being into Gunsmoke and Red Skelton made you less of a manchild when it was just equally nauseating, there's a reason the comedians that pandered to ww2 vets were into high arts and Algonquin Round Table antics.

When Yakov's Dinner Adventure sounds like a better use of time and money, you know that you've fucked up.

blame the millennials for the DT and all its shitty multimedia offerings, we all know Eisner would have been fucking killed if he tried this. the culture of snark we had back in the bloomberg era would have led to whatever exec that tried this to self harm.

The (((media))) decided in 2015 that calling out cringe meant you were a nazi and our lives have forever been worse for it.