Ralph's Cozy.tv - Anything Related to Ralph and his dealings with Cozy.tv

[UCantCCPMe]

I’d be okay with the government paying people like Ralph to stay out of polite society. Call it Gunt Geld.

That's what prison is for, keeping felonious reprobates like Ralph out of polite society. His efforts to get there however, have been mostly unsuccessful. Try harder Ralph.

 

[The First Fag]

Gunt? Working?

The man has never been employed in his life. He has no ability to follow his own show schedule. Let alone secede his fam and stardom to some manager. And it’s doubtful they’ll let him work drunk/high. If he even manages to arrive on time and sober he’s going to inevitable flip out at a customer with his thin skin.

Then there's the criminal shit, which while I don't necessarily think it would automatically keep him from getting any job ever, it sure as fuck won't do him any favors.

That's what prison is for, keeping felonious reprobates like Ralph out of polite society. His efforts to get there however, have been mostly unsuccessful. Try harder Ralph.

Maybe if he murders Pantsu and goes around wearing her skin like a skinwalker, maybe he might.

 

[Fivehead]

Honestly he should just look into getting a real job at this point, even if its part time.

Ironically his best bet would probably do as Jarbo did and do Uber Eats in between shows, Matt said he made like $150 in 2 hours, which is not bad even with gas factored in. Of course, he needs to sober up and get a fuel efficient car instead of that big red truck.

He streams (when he's not late) 10:00 PM to 12:00 AM. He could very easily work a part time job or even a full time job and still do his show, if he wanted to.

 

[NSA]

He streams (when he's not late) 10:00 PM to 12:00 AM. He could very easily work a part time job or even a full time job and still do his show, if he wanted to.

What job would you hire this 5'-1" manlet for?

Everyone is hiring right now. Come on, employers, step up, here's the resume:
-5'-1" tall
-350 lbs
-75 IQ
-At least 1 heart attack
-At least 1 shart attack
-Always drunk
-Always on drugs
-Flies into blind rage
-From the south LMAO
-Sex pest
-Felon
-Gunt

You can't employ this wigger, big guy. You can't employ him for the same reason you can't hire a nigger from the ghetto. Because you don't want your shit stolen and customers molested. Gunt is an entrepreneur by necessity, just like Jerome the crack dealer.

 

[TyrasGuard]

He would have to really turn the quality of the show around to pump those superchat numbers up. To be on the for a second, I think it's entirely possible to salvage his show but he has to do the following RIGHT NOW:

---

• Stop drinking immediately, and if he can't then consult a professional to help him with either medication or meetings.
• Try really hard to get some good guests, interviews and debates going. He simply has to do better than that ghost writing knife boomer he had on last night because it was a fucking snoozefest.
• If Guntfest in Texas ends up still happening, he better make it the best fucking event he can. Lots of fun, lots of jokes and livestream EVERYTHING (good or bad). Dick and ROTC's fans are basically going to carry the event seeing as how Ralph hardly has any these days so he better suck their cocks and let them steer the ship.

The problem with his show is that he streams so often that it's impossible to not run out of material to talk about plus the Killstream has no fucking identity.

Why is it called Killstream? What is the Killstream about? Is the Killstream about Ethan Ralph? Who is Ethan Ralph and why does his opinions on anything matter? Why would you want to listen to the Killstream and not other podcasts?

 

[NaggotFigger]

What job would you hire this 5'-1" manlet for?

Everyone is hiring right now. Come on, employers, step up, here's the resume:
-5'-1" tall
-350 lbs
-75 IQ
-At least 1 heart attack
-At least 1 shart attack
-Always drunk
-Always on drugs
-Flies into blind rage
-From the south LMAO
-Sex pest
-Felon
-Gunt

You can't employ this wigger, big guy. You can't employ him for the same reason you can't hire a nigger from the ghetto. Because you don't want your shit stolen and customers molested. Gunt is an entrepreneur by necessity, just like Jerome the crack dealer.

The Ralphamale will continue picking an another job to employ himself in and will fight back the company that he got denied hardly! And while begs for himself and his paypigs for more money for spendings on stream and do dumb shit in video or streams.
The wigger himself is unappealing in every way that a large portion of companies would refuse to employ him in. If he would ever got employed, he'll do that job for a super short time, and never work in that company again, then sperg on Twitter. That's also a loop to the other companies if he ever got employed, As expected from our classic Gunt.

 

[Henry Wentworth Akeley]

What job would you hire this 5'-1" manlet for?

Everyone is hiring right now. Come on, employers, step up, here's the resume:
-5'-1" tall
-350 lbs
-75 IQ
-At least 1 heart attack
-At least 1 shart attack
-Always drunk
-Always on drugs
-Flies into blind rage
-From the south LMAO
-Sex pest
-Felon
-Gunt

You can't employ this wigger, big guy. You can't employ him for the same reason you can't hire a nigger from the ghetto. Because you don't want your shit stolen and customers molested. Gunt is an entrepreneur by necessity, just like Jerome the crack dealer.

He sounds perfect for low level industrial work tbh. Stick him on third shift with the other addicts, sex pests, room temperature IQ weirdos, ex-cons and third world immigrants. There's still some incredibly menial jobs that have not been taken by robot arms yet, and he could scrape by doing work like that with his current history. The problem is his inability to stop running his fucking mouth and the fact that he'd be unwilling to actually work hard for his money. He'd also have to live within his means; $16.50/hour isn't enough to find a trip to vegas every weekend, expensive booze etc . There's jobs he could hypothetically be hired at and do, but he's not gonna work those jobs.

 

[Pill Cosby]

What job would you hire this 5'-1" manlet for?

Everyone is hiring right now. Come on, employers, step up, here's the resume:
-5'-1" tall
-350 lbs
-75 IQ
-At least 1 heart attack
-At least 1 shart attack
-Always drunk
-Always on drugs
-Flies into blind rage
-From the south LMAO
-Sex pest
-Felon
-Gunt

You can't employ this wigger, big guy. You can't employ him for the same reason you can't hire a nigger from the ghetto. Because you don't want your shit stolen and customers molested. Gunt is an entrepreneur by necessity, just like Jerome the crack dealer.

I can’t imagine Ralph being employable. I know drug addicts and alcoholics who hold jobs down filleting fish or packing it.

I really can’t imaging Ralph being able to wake up in the morning at 5am, drove to work and do any form of manual labour.

 

[Ratzinger]

He will not take a job that he feels beneath him, which is all jobs he is remotely qualified for.
He will not get up early in the morning every morning and arrive clean, sober and rested at his minimum wage job.
He will not put up with being berated by his 15 younger supervisor Shaniquae for his substandard performance.
He will not be seen in the demeaning uniform, that won't fit, and he won't put up being treated like Ethan Ralph treats service workers.
That pig stubborness called pride will convince him it's manlier to beg than do an honest days labour.
I expect he'll end up homeless before he puts up with working a normal job.

 

[There Is Light At The End]

So, today is final day before alleged contract with odissey. Let's play a bit of casino - place your bets what gonna happen tomorrow?

1. He drops cozy.tv and start streaming his kahntent exclusively to odyssey?
2. It's all a fluke, he stays on both platforms
3. Getting banned from cozy.tv for doxing and exclusivity is just to cover his ass

 

[An automatic clown]

He will not take a job that he feels beneath him, which is all jobs he is remotely qualified for.
He will not get up early in the morning every morning and arrive clean, sober and rested at his minimum wage job.
He will not put up with being berated by his 15 younger supervisor Shaniquae for his substandard performance.
He will not be seen in the demeaning uniform, that won't fit, and he won't put up being treated like Ethan Ralph treats service workers.
That pig stubborness called pride will convince him it's manlier to beg than do an honest days labour.
I expect he'll end up homeless before he puts up with working a normal job.

Before he is truly homeless he will take his bank owned truck to Ronnie's crack shack and live in absolute squalor while the house falls down around him bit by bit

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Before he is truly homeless he will take his bank owned truck to Ronnie's crack shack and live in absolute squalor while the house falls down around him bit by bit

This seems the most likely outcome for Rslphamale.

 

[Pill Cosby]

So, today is final day before alleged contract with odissey. Let's play a bit of casino - place your bets what gonna happen tomorrow?

1. He drops cozy.tv and start streaming his kahntent exclusively to odyssey?
2. It's all a fluke, he stays on both platforms
3. Getting banned from cozy.tv for doxing and exclusivity is just to cover his ass

I’d say 2. I think Odessey may give him some money ~10k? For extra content on their platform.

After receiving that money he will fuck off to another country and leave his pregnant gf at home to have the kid on her own. He will squander all that money on himself buying up murses; going to vegas with Dick. All this to show Karen Farms and Broken Dick Jersh Moon he’s winning against the haters.

This is all speculation. The rage pig will tear off his own snout to try and spite others.

 

[The Hard R]

Then there's the criminal shit, which while I don't necessarily think it would automatically keep him from getting any job ever, it sure as fuck won't do him any favors.

Maybe if he murders Pantsu and goes around wearing her skin like a skinwalker, maybe he might.

Even if he were to get hired despite his checkered past, He would not make it more than a week without getting fired for sperging out. The jobs that would hire him, construction labor etc, that do hire felons, are the one's he'd do the worst at. He's too out of shape to do physical labor, and he wouldnt be able to handle the jobsite banter about him being a short fat fuck. He's the least employable white man in the US.

 

[The Big Dream]

Even if he were to get hired despite his checkered past, He would not make it more than a week without getting fired for sperging out. The jobs that would hire him, construction labor etc, that do hire felons, are the one's he'd do the worst at. He's too out of shape to do physical labor, and he wouldnt be able to handle the jobsite banter about him being a short fat fuck. He's the least employable white man in the US.

I can't even imagine him doing data entry, which would at least shield him from dealing with other people. Not only would his error rate be enormous, such degrading work would insult his wigger pride and he'd just not show up one day after a Maker's Mark fuelled bender.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure what job Ralph would feel is up to his standard, except maybe 'professional poker player'.

 

[The Hard R]

His sense of self-importance really is the biggest obstacle in his being able to work in the real world. The only guy's I see around that are as big as he is are dudes that have been Excavator or Loader operators, and forklift drivers for years.
If he could get over the fact that he's unqualified in every way, he'd be a perfect forklift driver.
Average forklift driver I've met, inflated ego (from passing forklift operators exam), yell a lot (its usually noisy in places that use forklifts), be alcoholic, complain a lot.
If he could deal with fat jokes, he just might make it.

 

[Christorian X]

I can't even imagine him doing data entry, which would at least shield him from dealing with other people. Not only would his error rate be enormous, such degrading work would insult his wigger pride and he'd just not show up one day after a Maker's Mark fuelled bender.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure what job Ralph would feel is up to his standard, except maybe 'professional poker player'.

He's going to have an impossible time with typing at any decent speed with those hooves.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

"I make plenteh a munny. What moar could a kid cost? Thirty dollurs a month?" -the thought oozing it's way around Ralph's pig brain.

 

[AltisticRight]

So a-logs in the little Mexican in vitro Catboy's thread found a method to extract a .json file that shows all the viewers and subscribers.

This is the rage pig's follower gain:

The trend is completely screwed and doesn't look natural at all, compare him to the Soygoblin or in vitro Fuentes.

Ralph has a bunch of significant spikes.

In terms of viewers, the most Ralph has ever had was around 2034, mirroring a stream where a cancer patient curb stomps a petri dish Mexican.

Using the .json file we found, searching for this:

"viewers": 2034

Returns this:

{"name": "ethanralph", "displayName": "EthanRalph", "avatarUrl": "https://web.archive.org/web/2022042...yz/a/av/6d5fb630938962f7254550e8cd22715b.webp", "cardUrl": "https://web.archive.org/web/2022042...a/pcrds/27e9e261d0f27351b310fdf5c55b8b8c.webp", "title": "#Killstream Supershow: Nick Fuentes vs Mister Metokur", "followerCount": 2895, "new": false, "isLive": "2022-04-22T15:20:56.217Z", "vf": true, "viewers": 2034}

Likewise, examining his other subscriber spike leads to this:

{"name": "ethanralph", "displayName": "EthanRalph", "avatarUrl": "https://web.archive.org/web/2022022...yz/a/av/b28ed279b6bb4c8d92514bc997e34e00.webp", "cardUrl": "https://web.archive.org/web/2022022...a/pcrds/27e9e261d0f27351b310fdf5c55b8b8c.webp", "title": "The Road to AFPAC", "followerCount": 2041, "new": false, "isLive": null, "vf": true, "viewers": 200}

A worthless stream that no one cared about, illustrated by the pathetic 200 viewers.

His viewers is like his blood pressure after seeing unwashed anuses of teenagers.

It looks completely bizarre because the way this site works is also bizarre. The viewership seems to be recorded when someone subscribes.

Why did Ralph put all his eggs in this worthless basket? For all the faults of Odysee and starfucker Julian, the platform is at least growing very slowly and consistently, there is far more exposure to a wider audience.

 

[FujiWuji]

I think ralph choose cozy over odyssey because it does fake views. He cares more about the appearance of success than actual success.

Or, maybe Nick didn't tell him that the site fakes views and Ralph was lead to believe he would be more popular on cozy.