How do you deal with fear of death?

[Lord of the Large Pants]

Some people say they're not afraid of death. I guess I believe them. But I suspect that just means they haven't thought very much about it.

Me? I'm fucking terrified. I wasn't always. But at a certain point when I was about 23, I was laying in bed one night and it hit me like a bolt of lightning that I'm going to die someday. It really fucked me up and still does occasionally to this day. And with the threat of nuclear annihilation currently at a level not seen in the lifetimes of many people here (myself included), the thought has become a bit more pressing.

Being religious sounds like it would help. Hasn't helped me. A commonly read Christian funeral rite speaks of the sure and certain hope of the resurrection. Well... I've never been that sure or certain on pretty much any topic. I hope it's true, or that something like it is true. I think it probably is. But nobody knows. Although I believe that at least one Man came back to tell us, I could very easily be wrong.

And if not? Well. People might say that there's no pain in eternal, that you'll be too dead to care, or that if you were okay before you were born you'll be okay with being dead. Non fui, fui, non sum, non curo. Or maybe that death is simply a part of nature. Or that things are impermanent and there's really no such thing as "I", so why mourn something that never existed?

Personally, I'm not that good of a philosopher.

There is a sense in most humans that death is something fundamentally wrong. It's not supposed to be this way. Death is, of itself, evil. I think this is a correct instinct. There may be some people born without it, but most people who are a little too fast and easy about death, I suspect, have to work very hard to suppress their natural inclinations. A sort of stoic attitude about death is most common among atheists, but I've seen it among religious believers too, often motivated by excessive fixation on the afterlife. If heaven is so great, why think death is so terrible? But most Christians, at least, have a strong sense that we were not originally made to die.

Maybe the best we can hope for is that by the end of our lives, we'll be ready for it. I've seen people face death with no fear, mostly religious, but some not. It seems that there's some way to conquer that fear. I just wish I knew what it was.

I think it's normal to fear death. I wish people would talk about it more. So here I am, on my local Nigerian ham radio enthusiast forum, trying to get that going. Are you afraid to die? If so, how do you handle it?

 

[Samir]

I'm a Christian, that certainly helps me. I was much more afraid of death when I was atheist.

 

[Apochrypha]

Death used to freak me out a bit. But honestly, knowing you and everyone you have ever known is inevitably going to die and that death is imminent is comforting in a way. Why would you be scared of something that is out of your control?

For example, You can't control the passing of time, only how you spend it. Same with death. You can't control how and when you will die, but you can definetly do your best to live your life the way you want. Don't worry about dying, it will happen to you regardless. Worry about what you can do before that happens.

 

[Shidoen]

I realize death is a pile of bones and I could probably kick his ass.

 

[Prophetic Spirit]

I'm a Christian, that certainly helps me. I was much more afraid of death when I was atheist.

You're just confused. I'm atheist at this point but i'm not afraid of death.
I just pray to nature of life itself to don't kill me in a accident, since i'm cautious in general, so lethal incidents are probably not gonna happen with my life. If i going to die someday, i prefer in a relax and chilling way, like in the bed or sleeping.

 

[Caesare]

I welcome death. My soul is prepared. The only thing that I worry about is a horrible, painful, slow death like cancer or something on that level. That is probably what's going to happen though.

 

[Herrinnert_U_zich_Jezus?]

I never been afraid of death. With my life, it be the better option. Just lights out and eternal dark, kinda makes me want to plan my suicide.

 

[Jimmy Olsen]

When I was around seven years old it dawned on me that I was going to die someday. I spent the entire night crying, completely inconsolable.

Ever since then, I've just kind of accepted it. I don't want to die, but it's going to happen whether I worry about it or not. I just don't want to die of something like Alzheimer's. I don't want my brain croaking before my body. I've got something that will probably make me die earlier (not super young, probably in my fifties or sixties), and in a way, I'm kind of glad. It's enough time to live a full life without spending the last few years a drooling vegetable.

 

[retard strength]

If you are fortunate enough to have a funny/chill grandparent that you're close to, try asking them. It felt weird to bring up but talking with my grandpa about death and his life and memories has been helpful for me.

This one will be less helpful, but dreams where you die. Waking up with those final thoughts and still being in that state of mind got me feeling like I could make my peace very quickly in the moment, because that's what happened in the dreams.

 

[William "Billy" Eilish]

The way I see it is why be afraid of my own death? No more of my problems as big or small as they might be and just a nice long rest it's inevitable but fearing it will only speed it up and make life not worth living.

So I guess I'm asking what's worse? Knowing you are going to die but being content accepting that, moving on and living your life on your own terms? Or letting fear of something natural and inevitable stop you from really living at all? I don't know about you man but for me it's an easy choice

 

[Joe Swanson]

Death is ultimately something that's extremely hard to cope with for many people, but you need to accept it as a inevitably and live life to the fullest while you are alive

 

[Milkis]

Have you tried getting homoerotically obsessed with death?

 

[Troonos]

I don't. I think about it every day when I lie awake in bed, and it makes me depressed. Almost as depressed as the horrifying reality that my parents are at the age where they're statistically likely to be dead within a decade.

 

[Red Hood]

"You can fall 60 stories, or you can slip in the shower."

 

[Osmosis Jones]

I became aware of death and its inevitability at a very early age. I've almost died a few times. I'm not worried about it, frankly. It used to keep me up all night and make me ask why I do anything if I'll be dead far longer than I'll be alive. Now I ask why I wouldn't do something given that I am alive. Life is a bizarre anomaly and death or the lack of 'being' is the default state.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about death. I used to see it as an end, but now I see it as part of the process. I view myself as a part of a living, learning universe. Perhaps not living as we understand it but in a more esoteric way. It's beside the point. The greater spiritual view that I hold is what makes me comfortable with the inevitable end of being that will come.

 

[Bixby Snyder]

I look at it like the next big adventure. I’m either going to die and that’s it — which everyone says in a feeling of peace. That or reincarnation or heaven shit takes place. Either way it’s pretty exciting.

 

[Lone MacReady]

I'm literally about to lie down for a temporary death right now. What pain and sadness do you feel in the void before you wake up in the morning? If the answer is none, then you have nothing to fear from death, it is only an escape from pain.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

I try to keep busy and not give myself time to think about it.

Been thinking about this shit seriously since I was like 8 and it's a total bummer.

 

[FILTH Tourist]

My dad is one of those don't fear death types. He is into extreme motor sports and has ended up in the hospital a lot when I was growing up. He has a casual attitude towards death and will sometimes just start light conversations over lunch about what am I going to do when he is dead and buried. Me and my mom never appreciated the fatalistic attitude but it did help me except that we all gotta go eventually. Now I just don't think about it and hope it comes, quick, painless, and quietly.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

If you are fortunate enough to have a funny/chill grandparent that you're close to, try asking them.

In 2020, my grandma practically admitted she and Papa were just sitting around waiting to die by that point, and they had felt like that before the pandemic lockdowns. The following year, they got their wish, sad as the outcomes were. In fact, Grandma was actually mad at Papa for delaying her death (had cardiac arrest but was revived), she was practically ready to go, although judging from her final journal entry, she might've been loopy from the wrong medication that led to her heart stopping the next day.

Death is natural, and it's okay to be sad when someone passes on. You'll always miss them, but you have to move on with your life despite it unless you're too heartbroken to carry on. Having any sliver of hope that you'll see your loved ones again on the other side lessens the fear of death. The real fear, I think, is in how you'll die. I think majority of us will agree that passing quietly in your sleep sounds like the best way to go since you may not actually feel it, but not all of us will get our wish in how we want to go. Acceptance of it will vary between individuals, but I think no matter what, the fact pain will no longer exist in immortality is a tender mercy bestowed upon all living beings.