The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%
  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%
  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%
  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%
  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%
  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%
  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%
  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%
  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%
  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%
  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%
  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%

  • Total voters
    2,258
Something also tells me they don't have a lambing/baby alpaca-ing kit/protocol of steps taken. I'd be shocked if they had any form of farm meds, even something as simple as colostrum laying around tbh.

Since the alpacaling is still wet-looking my thought is they didn't even leave it with the mom long enough to have her try to clean it off/for it to try to drink. Also I HIGHLY doubt they have any space a mom can temporarily break from the herd to birth. Their alpaca don't even have a 4-sided barn.

I posted this in the Kev thread but if you've ever had to rehab/foster an infant mammal feeing it every 4 hours gets old FAST. It's an exhausting job and I'd think expensive too for the amount an Alpaca baby likely drinks.

Bonus:
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Link
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I cannot emphasize enough of how baby animals should never be a "surprise" and even if you know there was an "incident" animals have set gestation dates for you to check. But like they wouldn't pay for that.


Alpacas have a gestation period of 11 to 12 months. They can push out birth, if the conditions aren't preferable. It can actually be missed. You might just wake up with a cria one day.

They do not lick their cria dry. Usually though, you should just bring them in a windproof, insulated shelter and dry it off, and quickly cover it in alpaca baby blankets. (It's a thing, though I'm sure you can make your own.)

Crias don't usually need help with anything else. The mothers might, you need to clean any blood and else off them, make sure the afterbirth passes.

You don't actually separate them though. I guess that speaks to how shitty their options are.

Codling alpacas, being overly familiar and close, can lead to serious on human violence. Might just try to push you down, then place their legs on your throat to suffocate you. Just alpacas communicating. Usually happens all of a sudden too, with no warning whatsoever. It's called berserk male syndrom. Or aberrent behaviour syndrom.

(Funny thing, they do see other species as a part of their herd. Chickens, geese, goats, etc. They will protect them too against predators. But they should see you as a different species too. You get too comfortable with them, they'll fight you for position in the herd etc. Especially males. They grow very violent towards humans.)

There isn't really a fix for that if you let it get out of hand from when they are cria.. They usually have to be put down. They will charge at you, try to break down fences..
 
I for one am glad he hasn't. This means a more bountiful crop.

More Tranch Milk from Bonobo:
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Still obsessed with Nazi Attack probability
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Shade tweeting Tranch.
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Unironically happy for him here. Lmao drinking on "landback day" you're white bro.
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Doesn't your mom still own the Tranch?
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Penny is salty as fuck apparentlyView attachment 3093697
Life with BPD babyrobot munchie gf is more stable than the Tranch.
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Penny/Jarrod stole a light off of the gun, allegedly. I wouldn't put it past them. Maybe don't make friends with people who brag about ethical theft.


Tranch Status:
>Early March had $9 in bank account while Kevin pre-orders video games and toys, Jen painting his miniatures.
>Stolen gun light from Bonnie
>Bonnie pondering taking the house/ranch back (please do it)
>Sky considering trooning out and now drifting towards the Kindness x Bonnie polycule.
>Unexpected newborn alpaca taken from its mom and likely now a bottle baby
>Working off-site doing home renovation troon style. Taking off wallpaper then demolishing drywall after :story:
> Olagala Lakota grift status =???
> Female serfs who had all their money in Jarrod's name deleted Twitter/possibly left Tranch
> New pitbull puppy when?
> Tax season coming up :)

This season of T.R.A.N.C.H is pretty delicious so far.

You left off the juiciest part:
Penny is looking to convert the ranch away from 5.7 moon ammo.
If that's not proof shit being over for good, I'm not sure what is.
 
Penny is looking to convert the ranch away from 5.7 moon ammo.
I am entirely unsure as to what Paul means by his statement because to my knowledge there are only two firearms chambered in 5.7x28 on the Tranch (an FN FiveSeveN and a Ruger 57 IIRC) and one of them is ownedby and is the signature armament of Phil. So 5.7 is not a standardized cartridge in the slightest, but moving too 9mm would be much more reasonable.
 
I think we can say that with $9 in the bank account and a possible upcoming divorce saga, the Tranch’s days are numbered…they’re eventually going to have to rehome their alpacas, and it’s going to be obvious to whichever rescue ultimately takes them that they’ve been horribly neglected. One of these days I’m going to wake up to a news story about hundreds of starving alpaca being rescued from a ranch in Colorado :optimistic:
How truthful can this be? Paul could just be trying to make it sound like they are in bad situation. Cause let's face it, the tranch would be in full on begging overdrive if they had no money. I am assuming Phil has another personal account that he is using to fund the tranch at times.
 
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Ah sorry confused their names, but my point still stands (I'll edit my post to fix the names).
Your point does not stand, IMO. Bonnie is apparently hostile to the Tranch at this point, and wouldn't poormouth for their benefit. She revealed that grim balance to mock them and gravedance.
 
Your point does not stand, IMO. Bonnie is apparently hostile to the Tranch at this point, and wouldn't poormouth for their benefit. She revealed that grim balance to mock them and gravedance.
I see your point and, given Paul's remarkable vindictiveness even by tranny standards, I'd normally agree completely.
I'm just slightly bothered by him waiting until he knew damned well we'd found his "new" twitter as an audience before posting that. If he'd posted it in the time when he was privated, it'd be different and I'd have no doubts you are right.

Edit because apparently I can't spell for shit tonight.

Edit 2: Thought about it further and no, you are right. He's trying to use us as a weapon.
 
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I see your point and, given Paul's remarkable vindictiveness even by tranny standards, I'd normally agree completely.
I'm just slightly bothered by him waiting until he knew damned well we'd found his "new" twitter as an audience before posting that. If he'd posted it in the time when he was privated, it'd be different and I'd have no doubts you are right.

Edit because apparently I can't spell for shit tonight.

Edit 2: Thought about it further and no, you are right. He's trying to use us as a weapon.
Your original point was not unreasonable. Cultists do tend to circle the wagons, even when they're "out bad", to borrow a phrase from the Hell's Angels. We might do well to remember that Bonnie might reverse loyalties at any time, or at least decide to lie to us. These people lie as part of the krebs cycle of their cells.
 
Your original point was not unreasonable. Cultists do tend to circle the wagons, even when they're "out bad", to borrow a phrase from the Hell's Angels. We might do well to remember that Bonnie might reverse loyalties at any time, or at least decide to lie to us. These people lie as part of the krebs cycle of their cells.
Edit 2: Thought about it further and no, you are right. He's trying to use us as a weapon.

I hadn't considered this. Fat Paul also stated he cleaned up his Twitter before he opened it.

Granted, these shade Tweets were made without him knowing he wanted to public his account yet and were months old, so it's likely a real sentiment. We can trust that him and Penny had a tard breakup and that the Tranch likely is fruitless. But he left them intentionally for us to find. He cleaned up things he found embarassing which giving what he left is...well.

I agree that Phil likely has other bank accounts too. He's had like 12 GoFundMe's total and will run more than one fund at the same time. Remember how he had some in Bonnie's name and some in his own? He knows how it works. He's dirty, but so is Bonnie. Jarrod was also handling serf finances for a while so it's likely in some fucky power structure that is laundering money. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a bunch of separate accounts for things and none of his billing made sense. I also wouldn't be surprised if more people were funding things than we knew or if he had loans out that he doesn't talk about. The whole thing stinks worse than 220 alpaca's worth of dung.

I'm not against Paul leaking data to us for obvious reasons but we have to take things with a grain of salt as other users stated above.
 
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You sure about that?
 
I'm not against Paul leaking data to us for obvious reasons but we have to take things with a grain of salt as other users stated above.
I’m thinking Bonnie wants to make sure his grievances are read both by the tranch and the wider audience that KF commands.
He’s seethed privately, not much happened and he’d like to renew the drama without actively raking over old coals. Us publicising his “hidden” journal is the perfect way to do it, because it’s a passive move with some deniability.
 
I don't really care. These assholes abuse animals, eat their own rotting genitalia, falsely accuse their community of harassment and terrorism, beat up on lone women for expressing opinions, and endanger the neighborhood with their infrequent but shitty target practice. The gender issues are like fuzzy dice in the mirror of a hit-and-run. I have much bigger problems with these shitheels.
 
I see your point and, given Paul's remarkable vindictiveness even by tranny standards, I'd normally agree completely.
I'm just slightly bothered by him waiting until he knew damned well we'd found his "new" twitter as an audience before posting that. If he'd posted it in the time when he was privated, it'd be different and I'd have no doubts you are right.

Edit because apparently I can't spell for shit tonight.

Edit 2: Thought about it further and no, you are right. He's trying to use us as a weapon.
I actually agree with this, kind of.

I've seen a few posts from him that I think he just made because we are reading, and wants to see how far he can misdirect us and be like "hah! I was only PRETENDING to be retarded"

I dunno if the $6 post was one of them but I would still be wary.
 
I actually agree with this, kind of.

I've seen a few posts from him that I think he just made because we are reading, and wants to see how far he can misdirect us and be like "hah! I was only PRETENDING to be retarded"

I dunno if the $6 post was one of them but I would still be wary.
Yeah. Everyone leapt on the mention of a specific number, but I just took it as "not much left in the accounts" pushed to very dramatic exaggeration for storytelling effect. It doesn't feel like an actual data point.
 
Yeah. Everyone leapt on the mention of a specific number, but I just took it as "not much left in the accounts" pushed to very dramatic exaggeration for storytelling effect. It doesn't feel like an actual data point.
I’m not sure why this wouldn’t be real though. A negative balance would have been more damning, though I’m sure they have more than one account between them, or some cash reserves. Comments from actual tranchers were mentioning dire financial troubles, not least Penny while on his sickbed instead of laboring.

Why lie about it, I guess.
 
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