DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

Where is DSP?

  • He is in Connecticut visiting family/funeral

    Votes: 213 47.9%
  • He and Khet are on a honeymoon style trip

    Votes: 12 2.7%
  • He has an issue (s) with the HOA requiring immediate fixes

    Votes: 27 6.1%
  • Comcast/ISP/Internet Issues

    Votes: 16 3.6%
  • He is taking a Kino Casino style break by not announcing when he comes back

    Votes: 30 6.7%
  • Phil and/or Khet Health Issue

    Votes: 48 10.8%
  • This is a social experiment from DSP

    Votes: 99 22.2%

  • Total voters
    445
  • Poll closed .
According to the average game time submitted on howlongtobeat, seeing all and every aspect that the game has to offer will take grand total of 113 hours on average, Phil I believe is just slightly over halfway through the game at this point if you add up all the khantent he can do, so I'm expecting his total game time to be somewhere in the ball park of like 150-180 hours, potentially more if he does actually want to drag it out for longer for whatever reason.
What's hilarious is that because he's taking so long, one of the easiest cheese strats in the game's launch period, which was the mimic simply tanking everything, has since been nerfed so what could have been the best way for Phil to beat the game now has been taken away from him and he's probably aware of this since all the guides would have said this pre-nerf.
 
so he loves MvC2 and says there's characters that can, basically, ToD you like Cable and magneto but it was ok cause people learned to counter it. He liked BB hood cause she could do one combo and take 80% of your health but hates modern fighting games because they have ToDs and one hit can take a huge lead to a combo that takes a chunk of health...

also the SF collection once again got roll-back for one move and this time you can see it, well he can see it. even asked if chat could see that "Roll back code"

phil...
bubby..
shhhh
that'll do pig, that'll do.

Every single thing DSP says he hates in a fighting game he has to first play for an audience is, inexplicably, something he loves in a fighting game that he has spent 20 years putting effort into so conveniently he'll embarrass himself less. The MvC2 nigh-infinite combos are one, and the other are rushdown characters. He'll rant for hours about how he hates rushdown characters, DBFZ is all rushdown characters, blah blah. Meanwhile, which SF2 characters does he play? Ken, Vega, Balrog.
 
Big ups to Phil and his bugged shitting mechanics. That and his op digestive system. Truly an extraordinary human.

I know its a lie. But Phil, if you have actual confirmation you are eating a hearty breakfast and shitting it out 4 hours later. There is something wrong with you. You should go to a doctor or reevaluate your diet and exercise habits.

Ive added future colonoscopy fundraiser to the possible future sagas in my mind.
 
wait reverse that now doing what he described in MvC2 that he himself did with BB Hood is a badly designed game when it comes to KoF15...also he doesn't like SF5 thinks it sucks but also didn't learn to play it. He really doesn't know what he's saying he just word vomits
I think he mostly talks to stay awake to be honest, so there is no real need for it to make sense.
 
It's always great how he seems to think that "trying" to do something means it should have worked. "I tried to block!" therefore it should have blocked, etc. Does he not understand how games work?
He has some kind of logic where he applies physical logic: Enemy could only have hit the shield, should have blocked, was aiming into the direction of the head, couldn't have physically missed, etc

"Q&A is always fun"
got tp'd into the Capitol but he ran away. Him walking over to pick up a vest fucked up the usb cable in his capture device somehow, took "10-15 minutes" to restart (6 according to our chat).
SF on saturday, so "Saturday night smackdown", people were like "'oh, is this wrestling?' No" Thought of some other boomer reference during this instead, not like this will come up.
"incredibly slow" ("10 dollars SC, 30 dollars tips", actually 44), people ask him to drop this but he is CRAVING SF once a week (Funny he says that when he said that it's the "last hoorah" during the stream). 2 more months of this until the slightly different game but in a different collection, enjoy An.
The Daily Wrap - March 26, 2022 - New Release Thoughts, Elden Ring Progress and Street Fighter...png
 
so he loves MvC2 and says there's characters that can, basically, ToD you like Cable and magneto but it was ok cause people learned to counter it. He liked BB hood cause she could do one combo and take 80% of your health but hates modern fighting games because they have ToDs and one hit can take a huge lead to a combo that takes a chunk of health...

also the SF collection once again got roll-back for one move and this time you can see it, well he can see it. even asked if chat could see that "Roll back code"

phil...
bubby..
shhhh
that'll do pig, that'll do.
Mvc2 had some learning curve to the combos. BB Hood required really good timing for her huge combos that take advantage of Darkstalkers system which is probably another variation of some other shit.

Phil hates accessibility when it comes to his Mall Trophy Games. Big damage combos like in KoF are bad because any jobber can do them according to him. But yet he can't do them.
 
Big ups to Phil and his bugged shitting mechanics. That and his op digestive system. Truly an extraordinary human.

I know its a lie. But Phil, if you have actual confirmation you are eating a hearty breakfast and shitting it out 4 hours later. There is something wrong with you. You should go to a doctor or reevaluate your diet and exercise habits.

Ive added future colonoscopy fundraiser to the possible future sagas in my mind.
Four hours? There’s no way in hell he doesn’t get up more than an hour before he starts streaming. It’s most likely closer to twenty or thirty minutes. So if he’s having to shit out his breakfast at the end of his “podcast”, it’s no more than two to two-and-a-half hours since he ate.

Either way, it’s just yet another ignorant statement from Phil. Having to shit in the morning is pretty common, whether you eat breakfast or not. Chances are Phil isn’t even taking a shit. It’s just more time that he doesn’t have to spend playing fucking video games. He’s probably doing some guide reading/watching on wherever he’s about to go in Elden Ring.
 
Night stream quick summary:

$32 in tips

1st half of stream net Phil $14
2nd half was mostly funded by Haseox's $10 top tip

Phil blatantly refusing to acknowledge Jaxx Cuxor's pretip from earlier stream

Called the stream "deflating" for support, and scolded chat for "zero contributions whatsoever in the last half an hour"

Running away from Jose and considering to switch to Xbox version next week

Thinks the new sf collection edition will save him in June "but we are still 3 months away, so I need your support now, okay?"

Screenshot_20220326-225019_YouTube.jpg

Nice hair Phil, BTW

Screenshot_20220326-225043_YouTube.jpg
 
Night stream quick summary:

$32 in tips

1st half of stream net Phil $14
2nd half was mostly funded by Haseox's $10 top tip

Phil blatantly refusing to acknowledge Jaxx Cuxor's pretip from earlier stream

Called the stream "deflating" for support, and scolded chat for "zero contributions whatsoever in the last half an hour"

Running away from Jose and considering to switch to Xbox version next week

Thinks the new sf collection edition will save him in June "but we are still 3 months away, so I need your support now, okay?"

View attachment 3113629

Nice hair Phil, BTW

View attachment 3113630
Wu-Tang hairline
 
Night stream quick summary:

$32 in tips

1st half of stream net Phil $14
2nd half was mostly funded by Haseox's $10 top tip

Phil blatantly refusing to acknowledge Jaxx Cuxor's pretip from earlier stream

Called the stream "deflating" for support, and scolded chat for "zero contributions whatsoever in the last half an hour"

Running away from Jose and considering to switch to Xbox version next week

Thinks the new sf collection edition will save him in June "but we are still 3 months away, so I need your support now, okay?"

View attachment 3113629

Nice hair Phil, BTW

View attachment 3113630
I don't know how it's only his beard that has grey in it, this bitch dyes his hair like a woman who's afraid of getting old
 
I don't know how it's only his beard that has grey in it, this bitch dyes his hair like a woman who's afraid of getting old
Eh... I have quite a bit of gray hairs in my beard, mostly the sides, but almost none on top. It's possible. I'm in my mid thirties, but I've had one gray hair on my head that has been there for over 10 years. I thought it was a sign of bad things to come, but it was just an outlier.
 
Every single thing DSP says he hates in a fighting game he has to first play for an audience is, inexplicably, something he loves in a fighting game that he has spent 20 years putting effort into so conveniently he'll embarrass himself less. The MvC2 nigh-infinite combos are one, and the other are rushdown characters. He'll rant for hours about how he hates rushdown characters, DBFZ is all rushdown characters, blah blah. Meanwhile, which SF2 characters does he play? Ken, Vega, Balrog.
In a recent Piece of Peace restream I listened to (I think it was a Skyrim restream earlier this week) he said how he hates modern fighting games because they all have high damage khambos and he said that a khambo should at most shave off 40% life if it's a counterhit kind of situation and 50% if it has a super. Meanwhile his favorite games are MvC2, a ToDshit, and Super Turbo, a game with very high damage across the board. But of course when pressed on it he'll make some bullshit excuse how it's fine because it's somehow more skillful.

It all comes down to him wanting combos to be easier. For example, when he played Tekken 7 and bitched about how Tekken was never about combos (just lmao) whenever he got his ass launched by a particularly nasty CH launcher and then ate 60% damage. The thing is, classic Tekkens aren't that different in most cases it's just that combos got longer, damage scaling got higher and health also got higher. Tekken 3 had variable damage so keep that in mind but Jin's bread and butter combo from a WGF in Tekken 3 did 80+ damage reliably, characters in Tekken 3 had 140 health, you do the math.
 
Two thoughts on Phil before I retire to my chambers:

1. It's funny how lag never benefits him

I'm nearly two decades younger than Phil but even with just a few years of experience in Mortal Kombat games, I think I could pretty easily body someone through lag on MK11 for example. Lag is experienced by both players by nature, and it says a lot about Phil's actual execution that this "pro fighting game player" can't win a single round if he's not getting sub 20ms connections, and even then he loses and says it's delayed.

2. I didn't do that

This is just his best complaint overall, and one that really deserves its own thread... But in reality that thread would just be too long and too redundant since he uses this excuse multiple times a day, and has for over a decade. Every time he says "I didn't do that", the ludicrosity of that statement is unbelievable. As if there is literally a phantom standing over Phil pressing buttons on his controller. He says this excuse so often. Yet the only examples I can think of that are legitimately "I didn't do that" are speedruns with N64 cartridges that had code at the machine level somehow unexpectedly altered by electromagnetic interference from thunderstorms or other such natural occurrences, and through these specific errors caused by events entirely out of human control different events can be triggered in the game at times where they ought not to be. If Phil is to be believed, this level of random event, probably with similar odds to lightning striking the same spot 10 times in a row and then 10 people in the same room winning the lottery simultaneously, is happening to Phil regularly. What's funny about this excuse is not even the totally disingenuous nature, but the fact that anyone with an IQ above 80 is going to think Phil is destroying his watchability with it. I'm not too big into youtube or streaming, but any youtubers I've watched ever just don't do this, because it's an incredibly easy way to discredit yourself to any audience. If you insist constantly that magnificently out of the ordinary, reality-bending things are causing you to fail, it's going to make people laugh at you, not with you. Especially when your follow up is always some variation of "huh huh, it's LAUGHABLY BAD". Any normal person is going to think, no lmao, YOU are laughably bad.

I will powerlevel slightly. A close friend of mine and I would play videogames during our childhood, coop games were a favorite. We would get together and play coop games every day. At 10 years old, we looked up walkthroughs on youtube to get past a very tough part of a game. We found Phil, originator of let's plays and former powerlifter who stands without fault. We laughed our asses off at him, this 30 year old man, who was struggling even worse than us and calling everything a beginner's trap, a glitch, a this and a that. It was never his fault and we thought it was hilarious. It's always difficult for me to understand why anyone gets pissed over Phil, as I always remember being literally a child, figuratively a baby compared to his fat 30 year old self, and laughing at him. If a child is laughing at him, any normal person will be laughing at him. Sure he has a wonderful established grift, in essentially cashing the welfare checks of 100 or so different people, but in terms of his reputation he will always be that: The man that even children will laugh at. The Guy. DSP. He will never be someone a normal person speaks positively about and we all know that devastates him far more than only making $32 on a nightstream.
 
In a recent Piece of Peace restream I listened to (I think it was a Skyrim restream earlier this week) he said how he hates modern fighting games because they all have high damage khambos and he said that a khambo should at most shave off 40% life if it's a counterhit kind of situation and 50% if it has a super. Meanwhile his favorite games are MvC2, a ToDshit, and Super Turbo, a game with very high damage across the board. But of course when pressed on it he'll make some bullshit excuse how it's fine because it's somehow more skillful.

It all comes down to him wanting combos to be easier. For example, when he played Tekken 7 and bitched about how Tekken was never about combos (just lmao) whenever he got his ass launched by a particularly nasty CH launcher and then ate 60% damage. The thing is, classic Tekkens aren't that different in most cases it's just that combos got longer, damage scaling got higher and health also got higher. Tekken 3 had variable damage so keep that in mind but Jin's bread and butter combo from a WGF in Tekken 3 did 80+ damage reliably, characters in Tekken 3 had 140 health, you do the math.

tekken 1 had 90% damage combos, & to the surprise of absoloutely nobody-he has no idea what he's talking about

he thinks his tekken 3 mall trophy makes him an authority in all of tekken, and every fighting game
 
The photos I've seen of it kind of reminds me of the overpriced college apartments that start to fall apart within a few years of use (trim starts peeling off, cabinet/door hinges squeak, etc). They look nice initially but everything is built cheap. Kind of funny that his WWE account will soon be worth more than his unit, if it isn't already.
It's crazy to me with the amount of money he was making earlier in his career he didn't fix the place up and rent it out. Especially, with housing prices going up he wouldn't have to beg and he could have hired someone to be the landlord for the property. But, then again Phil doesn't like buying anything but alcohol and gacha bullshit so this never would have happened.

I swear if there is one thing you learn from watching Phil it's thinking in the short-term about every decision in your life will truly fuck your life up.
 
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