Russian Invasion of Ukraine Megathread

[SneedEyeMitch]

We both really like to get drunk. I propose all future disputes between our nations be settled by drinking competitions.

Ireland superpower 2023. Let's go!
The world is now Ourland

 

[Spicey McHaggis]

Thread is slow so I'm going to do a poll of sorts.

Putin puts in you charge of the Russian Military, you can only do three major changes to how it runs and what it spends its budget on to make it a truly effective fighting force that could put up a half decent fight against all of the European armies combined like Russia thinks it can instead of struggling against a single former, dirt poor, satellite state.

Step one: eliminate corruption. Execute a few corrupt high ranking officers if necessary.
Step two: invest in domestic production of higher tech equipment, partner with China or some other power with similar capabilities to make anything that's beyond what you can produce economically.
Step three: introduce a fully professional NCO corps.

 

[Badungus Kabungus]

Thread is slow so I'm going to do a poll of sorts.

Putin puts in you charge of the Russian Military, you can only do three major changes to how it runs and what it spends its budget on to make it a truly effective fighting force that could put up a half decent fight against all of the European armies combined like Russia thinks it can instead of struggling against a single former, dirt poor, satellite state.

Three changes? I only need one. Allocate some money towards promoting sissy porn and HRT in western nations for men of fighting age and soon they'll be in no shape to fight. Oh wait...

 

[Narcotics]

"The United States withdrew its warships from the Black Sea due to the events in Ukraine and has not yet decided on the timing of their return, the Pentagon said"

Supposedly, burger gov is pulling their warships out of the black sea. Attempt at descalation? relocation somewhere else? parking was too expensive? up to you.

 

[DumbDude42]

Thread is slow so I'm going to do a poll of sorts.

Putin puts in you charge of the Russian Military, you can only do three major changes to how it runs and what it spends its budget on to make it a truly effective fighting force that could put up a half decent fight against all of the European armies combined like Russia thinks it can instead of struggling against a single former, dirt poor, satellite state.

i'd start selling a bunch of nukes to countries in the americas, just to watch everybody in washington shit their pants in terror when they realize that mexico, guatemala, venezuela, etc. are suddenly nuclear powers

 

[Spicey McHaggis]

"The United States withdrew its warships from the Black Sea due to the events in Ukraine and has not yet decided on the timing of their return, the Pentagon said"

Supposedly, burger gov is pulling their warships out of the black sea. Attempt at descalation? relocation somewhere else? parking was too expensive? up to you.

Iirc there's a strict time limit on how long ships of nations without a coast in the black sea can stay there. I may be wrong though.

 

[The Last Boyscout]

Thread is slow so I'm going to do a poll of sorts.

Putin puts in you charge of the Russian Military, you can only do three major changes to how it runs and what it spends its budget on to make it a truly effective fighting force that could put up a half decent fight against all of the European armies combined like Russia thinks it can instead of struggling against a single former, dirt poor, satellite state.

1.) Re-introduce conscription. offer some incentives of future rewards and the like, that don't necessitate a lot from the state...give them a little to string them along (the most basic logistical needs - they have to be reliable tho, very important), promise big rewards down the line saying they will all be entitled to a big share of what gets conquered, it's a dawn of a new day - that sort of bullshit.
2.) Re-train the new massive number of conscript hopefuls in a new doctrine of how to fight with modern, but always low-tech weapons and at night. Also how to loot effectively and conserve resources while on the move. Also go back to strictly analog communications that work despite electronic interference. Basically become Caesar's Legion from Fallout: New Vegas, but with 20th century supplies.
3.) Deploy the nuclear arsenal all over Europe at high altitude only, none of it at ground level. Rely on the US not counterattacking, once they take note no physical damage has actually happened and count on the response time from EU nuclear countries to be far too late, since the distance is relatively small and we can use hypersonics...but do take advantage of the total EMP blackout for my troops to zerg rush as far into the EU as their feet + trucks can carry them, looting and overwhelming the confused, electronics-deprived NATO pussy troops along the way as they suffer utter communications blackout as they don't know wtf is going on anymore before they get set upon the russian zerg with machetes.

could call the invasion 'the european blacked-out'

 

[MrJokerRager]

Thread is slow so I'm going to do a poll of sorts.

Putin puts in you charge of the Russian Military, you can only do three major changes to how it runs and what it spends its budget on to make it a truly effective fighting force that could put up a half decent fight against all of the European armies combined like Russia thinks it can instead of struggling against a single former, dirt poor, satellite state.

I would buy more Buhankas, invest in propaganda anime avatars for military vehicles and eliminate conscription for an all volunteer force.

 

[White_N]

We both really like to get drunk. I propose all future disputes between our nations be settled by drinking competitions.

USA is better to ask for a head start

Ireland superpower 2023. Let's go!
The world is now Ourland

I'm waiting for a new world order. Hatred of the British and uncontrolled alcoholism bring people together.

 

[Fougaro]

Nigga is thread banned.

That's gay. Not the Freddie kind of gay but the fail and AIDS kind of gay.

And his position is far from being enviable.

In spite of him starting to give me serious @ThatOneLurker vibes and seriously needing to lol calm down, I agree with that.

 

[Die Dunkle Maus]

Thread is slow so I'm going to do a poll of sorts.

Putin puts in you charge of the Russian Military, you can only do three major changes to how it runs and what it spends its budget on to make it a truly effective fighting force that could put up a half decent fight against all of the European armies combined like Russia thinks it can instead of struggling against a single former, dirt poor, satellite state.

I'd park some nukes in Cuba to see if Americans get the point now.

Don't really need to do anything else, it will sink in.

 

[kuuu]

Execute a few

All of them.
Remove moratorium on death penalty and introduce death penalty for corruption.
There is literally no other way to beat this plague here. We already have plenty of half-measures to remove undesirables.

Step two results in failure because all domestic research is in a bad state and who would be willing to give you technologies or manufacturing capabilities?

 

[Puff]

i'd start selling a bunch of nukes to countries in the americas, just to watch everybody in washington shit their pants in terror when they realize that mexico, guatemala, venezuela, etc. are suddenly nuclear powers

Funnier, but less likely. Sell them to US state governments.

 

[Elbereth]

Every single word out of your retarded mouth is cope, you dumb nigger.

Bruh, this coming from you is rich

Wars always happen without a single fuckup, they never even consider a plan B.


jesus christ man, do you hear yourself? You sound fucking stupid with some of your takes. Russia has fucked up, they probably have a plan for the fuck up. It's not some 4d underwater connect four, it's just what most militaries do.

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

i'd start selling a bunch of nukes to countries in the americas, just to watch everybody in washington shit their pants in terror when they realize that mexico, guatemala, venezuela, etc. are suddenly nuclear powers

Maybe give it to the landlocked ones and watch a corridor open? Maybe some kino over Lithium?

 

[Übertroon]

3.) Deploy the nuclear arsenal all over Europe at high altitude only

Why would the US sit and wait for confirmation for if the nukes were low altitude or not before letting their own nukes fly?
You do realize that the UK trident submarines are ordered to fire their payload if all contact with the mainland ceases and a nuclear attack is suspected?

 

[Fougaro]

Thread is slow so I'm going to do a poll of sorts.

Putin puts in you charge of the Russian Military, you can only do three major changes to how it runs and what it spends its budget on to make it a truly effective fighting force that could put up a half decent fight against all of the European armies combined like Russia thinks it can instead of struggling against a single former, dirt poor, satellite state.

Whoever says anything that doesn't involve re-investing the military budget into building an army of killer robots is just as objectively wrong as those who don't side with Mr. House in New Vegas.

 

[No. 7 cat]

The Youtuber (about three days ago) suggests at 12:00 that the RT journo gave away the location of the tank carrier Orsk that was sunk in Berdyansk. A Ukie Youtube think's he did, if you look at the comment. Dunno, but it it'd be a rotten thing to have on his conscience. I honestly doubt that as it's the nearest port of any size of Mariupol. There could no other port as useful.

The journo is Murad Gazdiev and this is his telegram page. He's still posting, so he wasn't blamed, if that's not too radical a surmise).

 

[The Last Boyscout]

Why would the US sit and wait for confirmation for if the nukes were low altitude or not before letting their own nukes fly?
You do realize that the UK trident submarines are ordered to fire their payload if all contact with the mainland ceases and a nuclear attack is suspected?

you do realize I am not being entirely serious with my post? tho the US could be notified in advance of this move...and preferably only once they butt heads with China, so as they feel a bit too overextended of letting their own shit fly when they are not being attacked directly, nor letting all of their grand designs for China go to waste, just because I decided Russian military would act in a way that politicaly is equal to Charlie, the wildcard of Always Sunny?

I do admit, the Trident subs are a bit iffy...but there I'm counting on Yes Minister being true to life, as it almost always has been thus far:

 

[derpherp2]

"The United States withdrew its warships from the Black Sea due to the events in Ukraine and has not yet decided on the timing of their return, the Pentagon said"

Supposedly, burger gov is pulling their warships out of the black sea. Attempt at descalation? relocation somewhere else? parking was too expensive? up to you.

Not just militarily, in terms of media coverage America has done a full 180 and decided that the next hysteria sensation issssssssss...........

Covid.
Again.
As in there's 0% top news about Ukraine anymore, the ukraine war ticker has been replace with the covid shit again, etc. etc.
The top billing being about how we can't afford Vaccines.
Because being put in lockdown because we're too poor is apparently a good look in terms of media coverage.