Russian Invasion of Ukraine Megathread

[Gondola Enjoyer]

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That's not even interesting abstract art, that's just shittily painted.

 

[Smity Werbenjagermanjensen]

Fraid you missed the latest fax

The goalposts now stand at "since the mighty and glorious and #based and mighty russian military has not as of yet collapsed under the weight of its own failure, corruption, and ineptitude, this proves russia is still winning and everything is going to plan"

EDIT: Also anyone else enjoy perusing the start of this thread or first week of the old thread and seeing all the predictions as to how russia had already won and kyiv was gonna fall tonight every night? Fun times.

I freely admit I expected it, because of the rate Russians were moving, once the fronts slowed to a near stop by the end of Week 2, I saw the writing on the wall that the only way Russia continues the advance is putting more troops in, and no, a few thousand South Ossetians and Chechens isn't enough, I'm talking about in the ballpark of 100,000 motivated and well-equipped troops minimum.

Speaking as a Ukraine leaning neutral who only supports Ukraine because Russia's goal is likely annexation, and annexation is peak globohomo, the cope has been very entertaining.

It started with arguments that "Oh Russia is facing trouble because the units they're using aren't their best." ignoring how many of the BTGs include Guard units, which are usually fairly nice units to get assigned to and in some cases out right prestigious, not even get into the fact VDV and Spetsnaz units have been fairly heavily involved as well.

Then it was "Ok, Russia doesn't want Kiev" which is hilarious as literally everything Putin has said in the past shows he REALLY wants it, he considers Kiev to be the birthplace of Russia, and let's not forget about that article that was released by Russian state-owned media celebrating the capture of Kiev and "reversing the tragedy of 1991" like three or four days into the war.

Now what's the "victory condition" for Russia here, well it started off with at the very least regime change, then went to splitting Ukraine in half in some form or another, either splitting it down the Dnieper or taking all of Ukraine's coastline, now it's Donbass + a land bridge to Crimea. Ukraine won't "win" this in terms of not losing territory, but seeing the goalposts moved so far and still acting like "Russia STRONK!" is the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

 

[AnotherOne]

Reading about the hijinks in the Red Forest, those soldiers probably are fucked. On my trips over there, just driving past it in the minibus at 50mph made everyone's meter's go off scale. Also read they looted a radioactive sample lab, wonder if that was the Jupiter factory basement which was ankle deep in water and had some spicy stuff last time I was there, plus disassembled Pu-239 sources from industrial smoke detectors everywhere.

Yeah Russia treated the exclusion zone like it was the Ukrainian Ardennes, but spending a month in the Ardennes won't make all your hair fall out.

 

[Juan's Sombrero]

Wow

 

[Spicey McHaggis]

It bist thu who bist der underman.
russians have genetic defects as they are half breeds (children of incest are also mutants). russians are cattle bred to be slaves. russians are defilement of the human race. russians generate fictional ideas and justify their crimes with those fictional ideas. Russians are half breed degenerates with crooked faces.
Russian cattle must be forcibly driven into nursing homes,barracks and labor camps where
they live and end their life as they should - in the abomination of the stink, bleating grunts diseases. they know nothing but to be militarists. Bloodsucking militarists hatch from role-players (a type of schizoids), communists, imperialists,
Rodnovers, fascist patriots. The goal in life of the russian swine is to find a master, an idol . The russians are simply unevolved animals. they reject freedom.
Their language is medieval jargon. RUSSIANS do not need the head because the TV thinks for them. the goal of a Russian patriot is to humiliate other races and sell patriotic underpants, and to dream to capturing new lands and the superiority of the russian race. Only Russia has the largest number LARPERS -
lovers of fictional crap (escapism) - liers and schizophrenics. only the brain of schizophrenic can generate fictional things quickly - as quickly as the russians do. Good russian is dead russian. They lie about everything. they are envious and petty.
They brand anyone who disagrees with them as enemies. They worship mass murderers and even the church supports stalin.
The russians are fascist as the matter of fact. And they have skinheads and imperialists and communistic revanchists too.
If a russian soldier stepped on ukrainean land - he should be killed. Russians are pigs, swines. If you copy russian propaganda - you are a monkey, a religious subhuman - because you see they also like fictional thingies . Russia should be decommunised and be taught a lesson. If you feel pity when a russian pig dies - you are the enemy, a schizophrenical animal who is soaked with propaganda. Religious animals is the problem. They really like fictional things. It is the peculiarity of their brain.

Dude you gotta hook me up with your dealer, you are clearly getting WAYYYY better drugs than me.

 

[Suburban Bastard]

Wow

Thank you for introducing me to this lolcow content

 

[Borscht]

Wow

Ping me when it hits 146% like in 2011 elections.

 

[Cyber Floyd]

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I can just feel the tism radiating off this.

 

[Spicey McHaggis]

Ping me when it hits 146% like in 2011.

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Chicago politicians are jealous of that approval rating, they can only manage to get that percentage of the vote, but nobody likes them anyways.

 

[The Last Boyscout]

short of ODing on whatever cocaine he's obviously snorting, Zelensky will not just throw in the towel like Milosevic (who later also got ousted from power). not while having the 'support' of the West et al, even if without direct NATO intervention. as long as that's there, his ego will never allow him to retire. maybe after a few more of these 'glorious counterattacks' that get repulsed by russian arty grind enough fighting men into dust, but right now this deffo seems like it'll take months to settle down into anything that looks even remotely like a permanent cease-fire ala the Koreas or such...or years, depends how stubborn both sides keep on being.

 

[Suburban Bastard]

short of ODing on whatever cocaine he's obviously snorting, Zelinsky will not just throw in the towel. not while having the 'support' of the West et al, without direct NATO intervention. as long as that's there, his ego will never allow him to retire. maybe after a few more of these 'glorious counterattacks' that get repulsed by russian arty, but right now this deffo seems like it'll take months to settle down into anything that looks even remotely like a permanent cease-fire ala the Koreas or such...or years, depends how stubborn both sides keep on being.

That cocaine is called patriotism my friend

 

[Borscht]

Chicago politicians are jealous of that approval rating, they can only manage to get that percentage of the vote, but nobody likes them anyways.

They can always invite Putin's political advisor to coach them. I am sure it will be difficult - very difficult - but you can rest safe knowing the next mayor of Chicago will be Vladimir Putin.

 

[Die Dunkle Maus]

I'm probably in the minority here; even the Russians I know say Putin doesn't want Ukraine (since before invasion even), just to break their back.

I think he'll take the entire thing and wipe them off the map; I don't think Russia's war machine is in 4th gear yet.

USA/NATO support (AWACs, weapons, "advisors", etc.) will delay this process and turn it into a slog.

This is based on my expert analyses as someone who has DESTROYED the opposition in Plants vs. Zombies.

 

[Spicey McHaggis]

They can always invite Putin's political advisor to coach them. I am sure it will be difficult - very difficult - but you can rest safe knowing the next mayor of Chicago will be Vladimir Putin.

It couldn't be any worse than what's already there, and he would probably be less corrupt.

 

[kuuu]

No idea how simplified or correct this is.
Noone saw that.

 

[LUNEKO]

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Somebody should tell them they put the swastika on the wrong side

 

[The Last Boyscout]

That cocaine is called patriotism my friend

I kinda doubt the supplier's not lying, tho - spiked his mix with far too much green screen for my taste.

 

[Pork Packer]

USA/NATO support (AWACs, weapons, "advisors", etc.) will delay this process and turn it into a slog.

Incidentally has anyone else noticed how the whole "superior rugged russian military tech which can easily outclass puny overpriced NATO junk" sperg sphere seems to have all dropped off the face of the earth as of late despite having been some of the loudest and most inescapable militaria autists on the internet beforehand?

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

I think he'll take the entire thing and wipe them off the map; I don't think Russia's war machine is in 4th gear yet.

Personally I also think the war goals have changed, Ukraine is going to look significantly different in the near future, and with the population drain the likes of Kiev aren't even going to be anywhere close to resembling pre-war cities.

I think the refugee crisis is only going to get worse because if anything significant happens or a significant change in Ukrainian fortunes then I totally see even the soldiers forcing every man to stay behind... fleeing with them.

So therin lies the issue of if Russia only takes the areas he wants then there's the chance of Ukraine going roughly back to normal over time as people flock back whereas if Russia squeezes harder then not only do they take more land but it throws a grade A shitstorm onto Europe as those Ukrainians aren't ever coming back so there's now an unsustainable population boom that will be a major drain on services, electricity, gas, water etc.

 

[UVB-76]

They can always invite Putin's political advisor to coach them. I am sure it will be difficult - very difficult - but you can rest safe knowing the next mayor of Chicago will be Vladimir Putin.

"Mayor Putin, the gang shootings have caused 50 casualties over the weekend!"
"Send the VDV"