🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[temp o'rary]

"They were going to put yer Pawpaw away for diddling kids. Now, he was damned if he was going to let them get their hands on the fancy ring he used to impress the young girls. So he hid it up a 17 year old's ass. Five long years it stayed up that ass, hidden. To this day, there's a tradition among us Ralphamales... we jam a thumb up there and start digging around. The aylawgs think we just like to huff shit. We do, but that's not the main reason. We're really on the hunt for Ronnie's Gold."

 

[Mr. Manchester]

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I don’t know if that ring is going to get pawned off for hookers and Vegas trips, covered in human feces, or lost when he gets another beat down.

Also piggy needs to trim his hooves

lmao, that fucker is never coming off

 

[Meat Target]

Next thing you know, Ralph's gonna be seen on camera grabbing a gun, shooting himself in the leg and start hollerin "AH GATDANG ALAWGEN KAREN FARMS FAGGOT JUST SHAWT ME IN DA LEG *joker laugh* AH DAWNT SCARE BITCH AH DAWNT SCARE YEW FUKIN FAGS ARE GONNA HAFTA DEW BEDDA DEN DAT" while crying on Twitter to Jim claiming that if he had to guess, it was actually Jim that shot him in the leg.

He's so fucking desperate for sympathy points from people by acting like a sad, helpless victim while proudly protruding that he's a "true badass Ralphamale who don't give no fucks". People shouldn't be leaving him diapers, they need to send him tampons for being such a pussy bitch.

And since he's a convicted felon with a current-stayed sentence, a video of him in possession of a gun would also get him arrested.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

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Possible Ralph sock? Fits with his mental image of how the aylawgs are cartoon villains actively scheming to murder him instead of being (mostly) passive spectators. The writing style is similar too, and the timing is awfully convenient, a brand new account made right when the pig wakes up and comes online, showing up out of nowhere right after the heat generated by the Metokur stream and the bowling dumpster fire. Feels incredibly suspect.

HARRY! You gotta keep my horse and the baby at your place. God damn Alogs are threatening me. Gotta keep them both safe, I love them so much. Anyway can I borrow some money and fly to Vegas? I’ve had a stressful week and could use a vacation.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

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Possible Ralph sock? Fits with his mental image of how the aylawgs are cartoon villains actively scheming to murder him instead of being (mostly) passive spectators. The writing style is similar too, and the timing is awfully convenient, a brand new account made right when the pig wakes up and comes online, showing up out of nowhere right after the heat generated by the Metokur stream and the bowling dumpster fire. Feels incredibly suspect.

Hi there Ralph, I'm a bad guy and I hate you! You are everything I wish to be, strong, cool, charming and influential. And because of this, and because I'm such an evil person, I wish death on you and your family! Now, you would totally be justified saying or doing anything you want to anyone else, because I have just done this! Also, please don't use these tweets as any type of legal defense, like say, showing a judge that whatever evidence is presented must be false and the work of damn dirty alogs!

 

[A Sunset]

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I don’t know if that ring is going to get pawned off for hookers and Vegas trips, covered in human feces, or lost when he gets another beat down.

Also piggy needs to trim his hooves

I’ve never seen someone have the equivalent of muffin top on their fingers. Ralph’s fingers are so obese a visible collection of fat has pooled on the outer edges of the ring, being pressed outward by the two-sizes too small cheap jewelry with fake diamonds.

Guess Pawpaw wasn’t as fat in the hands as ol’ Freakshow PigRapist, the most disgusting man alive.

 

[Catspajamas7]

Ralph’s papaws ring is very obviously flawed, Maybe SI2 on last one on right and VS2 on others maybe. The color is all very very low quality as well. All K and last one even lower. I call these piss diamonds because of the yellow hue. It’s hard to accurately say how big the diamonds are because two reasons. Hooves aren’t fingers and the ring must have been lubed up to be put on his hoove because you can see how tightly it squeezes his finger. Also with how the diamonds are placed on that gay looking piece. My guess is all .5 carat of the shittiest quality. (.5 being generous) Realistically probably 1 or 1.25 total

This needs to be resized, this looks more like a shitty class ring, can someone post Amanda’s ring for comparison?

Also men shouldn’t get diamonds on their bands, a plain ring is best or with small accents. Plain platinum with hammering and mill grain is most beautiful imo

 

[Schlomo Silverscreenblatt]

Sure it's probably a shitty cheap ring he got from a strip club but it probably has some sentimental value to him (I hope so at least). Go see your kid and wife now ralph

 

[Lou Reed's Dead Parrot]

The only thing that makes me doubt it is that it's named "Rape it Ralph", Ralph's ego probably would not allow it, but:

• The fact he doesn't block it like every other account that talks about anything he wants to hide
• The fact that it's retardedly named "ruin Ralph's life"
• Threatening the kid

I would guess a guntguard trying to help Ralph or under his orders but not Ralph himself.

or Vickers the autist

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

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Possible Ralph sock? Fits with his mental image of how the aylawgs are cartoon villains actively scheming to murder him instead of being (mostly) passive spectators. The writing style is similar too, and the timing is awfully convenient, a brand new account made right when the pig wakes up and comes online, showing up out of nowhere right after the heat generated by the Metokur stream and the bowling dumpster fire. Feels incredibly suspect.

no some of these discord splinter communities are unironically cultivating large quantities of faggots, alogs, and ex-paypigs. The only reason they don't have threads themselves because they possess the minimum amount of grey matter necessary to avoid power leveling on the farms.

 

[Desktop User2]

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I don’t know if that ring is going to get pawned off for hookers and Vegas trips, covered in human feces, or lost when he gets another beat down.

Also piggy needs to trim his hooves

oh, so Ronnie was black?

 

[Bowl of Ramen]

I can smell the cheap whiskey, cigarettes, and Stetson coming off that ring. I would’ve sold it for $20 on the first day at the old job just to get it the fuck out of there. I’m not even saying it to aylawg. It’s obnoxious.

 

[Dick Molesterson]

Jfc He's gonna lose that finger if he doesn't get it resized

 

[veri]

lmao, that fucker is never coming off

yeah cause it’s stuck on his hairy fat finger

 

[Insanely Retarded]

Sure it's probably a shitty cheap ring he got from a strip club but it probably has some sentimental value to him (I hope so at least). Go see your kid and wife now ralph

You know that was my first thought too but then I reread what he said. He says he's wanted it since he was 5, so he wanted it because he thought it looked cool.

or Vickers the autist

Doubt it, Vickers may be an idiot and an attention whore but he's at least been somewhat OK at baiting Ralph into fucking things up for himself.
The person who did this has either the IQ of a monkey or is trying to help Ralph.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

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You can see where the gold plating is rubbing off this cheap QVC ring. There is about a 0% chance those are real diamonds. Look at how shitty the craftsmanship is on that setting, this looks like a mass-produced ring that was probably poured from a mold. Those stones are glass.

Yeah, might be plated or maybe a 10k ring. It’s pretty sad if the stones are fake because it’s using the type setting that attempts to make small stones look bigger.

It’s a pawn store special. Before pawn stores stopped bothering with estate jewelry there used to be trays of these types of rings in every shady pawn store. Ralph might have a rarity because most of those style rings got smelted down long ago because men stopped wearing them when leisure suits went out of style.

 

[Truly Rural]

Jfc He's gonna lose that finger if he doesn't get it resized

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Doesn't matter. The only finger that is important is the thumb.

 

[New & Improved Username]

Why does his hand have 5 thumbs?

 

[AltisticRight]

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Look at that malformed claw with the comically ghastly looking Mumbai creation. How can a man's finger develop its own gunt?

Those diamonds look like trash, they are better off being used for drill bits. You can see the visible oxidation on the gold. Does he really think he's some big badass Las Vegas gangsta rocking idiotically large jewellery? He's just big, that's it. He'll need his claw amputated if he doesn't resize that horrible looking ring.

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That's definitely a sock. A very gay one as well.

oh, so Ronnie was black?

Spiritually.

 

[Fannyscum]

Got dangit they're ayylawgin my pappy's ring:

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