The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Fartificial Insmelligence]

I dunno if a giant alpaca barbeque would be a better way to go than slowing starving to death or dying due to lack of proper medical care or what.

Kevin would probably also die attempting to save his precious plastic collection from a raging inferno.

Kevin will rush into the blaze, get disoriented from the smoke, bump into his shelf, knock it all over on top of him and die in the fire while the plastic melts over him and hardens like Chocolate Shell for ice cream.


Oh, and then his parents will bury him as a man.

 

[DatBepisTho]

There's not much of anything they could do (given how stripped their land is) to actively slow a wildfire's approach/buy time to evacuate. If anything their shitty out buildings would only aid the fire in covering more ground on their property.

-But to be honest an electric fire from that janked set-up seems as likely.
Feels bad man, again, if only for the shit out of luck animals that get forgotten and abandoned to the flames.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Now I’m curious which would smell worse: a bunch of burning trannies or a bunch of burning alpacas?
My money is on the troons.

 

[White Peach]

They are a registered charity so maybe not.

Are they a registered charity? Ever since they announced their intention to create one I have looked at the Colorado government website every few weeks but have never seen any new 501c3 that had any relationship to them. I have also never seen anyone post any info about this.

Because I strongly believe in the don’t pozload my negholep rule I have not contacted any Colorado government agency about this, but the temptation is strong!

EDIT: as much as I enjoy Null’s phrase substitutions, just to be clear the above says I strongly believe in not fondling the excrement...

Does anyone have any info on this “charity” that they have been holding back?

If not this pure, and very illegal, grift.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Are they a registered charity? Ever since they announced their intention to create one I have looked at the Colorado government website every few weeks but have never seen any new 501c3 that had any relationship to them. I have also never seen anyone post any info about this.

Because I strongly believe in the don’t pozload my negholep rule I have not contacted any Colorado government agency about this, but the temptation is strong!

EDIT: as much as I enjoy Null’s phrase substitutions, just to be clear the above says I strongly believe in not fondling the excrement...

Does anyone have any info on this “charity” that they have been holding back?

If not this pure, and very illegal, grift.

IIRC they haven't yet published their tax records so we're waiting for them with bated breath.

 

[DemonicMustache]

I would be very surprised if they filed taxes at all.

 

[: Required]

That would require this thing we call effort. Are we sure that our Kevin is capable of that?

By God, if he can tweet fast enough, they’re may just be a chance…

 

[Coccxys]

I hope (as is very likely) some of that gfm/Amazon wishlist stuff is fraudulent.

Rescue then abuse/neglect a bunch of animals - Sherif can't be assed to deal with it.

Set up a heavily armed LARP compound with guns and rituals - FBI/ATF are bored of that game.

Set up a dodgy 501(3)c - IRS are glacial and there are probably plenty of bigger offenders to worry about.

Set up fraudulent ebegging site to have things directly mailed to you across state lines - postal inspector intensifies.

I would laugh so hard if it was mail/wire fraud that finally brought down the tranch. It wouldn't be the first time a group/individual was postal inspector'd when they were up to all sorts of other shady shit that no one bothered to investigate.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

There's not much of anything they could do (given how stripped their land is) to actively slow a wildfire's approach/buy time to evacuate. If anything their shitty out buildings would only aid the fire in covering more ground on their property.

They're totally safe from a wildfire.

Here you need 100 feet of low/no fuel defensible space.

They're got 36 acres of defensible space. And alpaca wool is apparently fire-resistant.

 

[Pocket Dragoon]

Set up fraudulent ebegging site to have things directly mailed to you across state lines - postal inspector intensifies.

I would laugh so hard if it was mail/wire fraud that finally brought down the tranch. It wouldn't be the first time a group/individual was postal inspector'd when they were up to all sorts of other shady shit that no one bothered to investigate.

I've heard some very hard guys speak of postal agents like you'd expect Potter or Matrix fans who believe the lore; in hushed tones, while covering their mics, as if just the mention would summon one into existence. And honesty I didn't have any reason to believe they weren't inspecting. Or whatever it is they do. Because it's hard to spook a spook.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Now I’m curious which would smell worse: a bunch of burning trannies or a bunch of burning alpacas?
My money is on the troons.

I've heard of a mercy killing but I think the paca deaths would be a mercy grilling.

And honesty I didn't have any reason to believe they weren't inspecting. Or whatever it is they do.

Hope a Kiwi can answer this: what do they do? Does anyone know any interesting cases they've worked on?

 

[Clockwork]

Kevin will rush into the blaze, get disoriented from the smoke, bump into his shelf, knock it all over on top of him and die in the fire while the plastic melts over him and hardens like Chocolate Shell for ice cream.


Oh, and then his parents will bury him as a man.

I have this mental image of Kevin throwing his hands up in horror as the shelf collapses onto him... and the plastic-coated result looking like a multi-colored Han Solo in carbonite.

 

[Mia Zapata's Ghost]

I've heard of a mercy killing but I think the paca deaths would be a mercy grilling.

They say alpaca meat is very good for your health. Very lean, high protein, low cholesterol, mild taste.

So my guess is the tranchers wouldnt eat it in a million years.

 

[Miss Misery]

They're totally safe from a wildfire.

Here you need 100 feet of low/no fuel defensible space.

They're got 36 acres of defensible space. And alpaca wool is apparently fire-resistant.

Their fences will go up like a poorly maintained PG&E line though, since they've decided that it looks charming all choked up with tumbleweeds.

 

[Old Fart]

They say alpaca meat is very good for your health. Very lean, high protein, low cholesterol, mild taste.

You can rest assured the Tranch's alpaca meat will be lean. Very lean.

 

[: Required]

They say alpaca meat is very good for your health. Very lean, high protein, low cholesterol, mild taste.

So my guess is the tranchers wouldnt eat it in a million years.

I’d like to imagine Penny has a little moment of clarity and wistfulness at his past life choices every night when Kevin whines for him to microwave his Kid’s Cuisine.

 

[Oxyjen]

I've heard of a mercy killing but I think the paca deaths would be a mercy grilling.

Hope a Kiwi can answer this: what do they do? Does anyone know any interesting cases they've worked on?

https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/politics/a33670971/steve-bannon-arrest-postal-inspectors/

 

[Bob_]

I’d like to imagine Penny has a little moment of clarity and wistfulness at his past life choices every night when Kevin whines for him to microwave his Kid’s Cuisine.

Nope, Penny is right where he wants to be.

He's the Dom mistress of a couple of worms with a group of peons working at his collective, ordaining the weekly hormone injection ceremony.
He's the charity director of a successful organisation providing a safe haven with trans, alpacas and other animals.

This guy has no regrets, even as it all falls down around him and he is forced to work 70 hours a week to keep the lights on.

 

[: Required]

Nope, Penny is right where he wants to be.

He's the Dom mistress of a couple of worms with a group of peons working at his collective, ordaining the weekly hormone injection ceremony.
He's the charity director of a successful organisation providing a safe haven with trans, alpacas and other animals.

This guy has no regrets, even as it all falls down around him and he is forced to work 70 hours a week to keep the lights on.

Oh, no question he’s living his best life as the big fish in his small, garbage-dump pond, but I still like to imagine him sitting in his rocking chair some nights, looking at his little coven of dorks, and having just a brief glimmer of realization at what situation he’s irrevocably placed himself into.
It’s pure fantasy on my behalf, but I simply cannot fathom a life lived around Kevin Gibes without some shame and regret breaking through the delusion.

 

[Bees in the marmalade]

https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/politics/a33670971/steve-bannon-arrest-postal-inspectors/

Earl moonlights as a postman to keep his bills paid.