Trashfire Ethan Ralph vs. Mister Metokur & Gator - It's finally happening

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Who did the worse beating?

  • The 14-year-old transgender prostitute in Lisbon.

    Votes: 599 24.8%
  • A Minnesota cancer patient.

    Votes: 1,302 53.8%
  • Mundane "Boulder King" Matt Jarbo.

    Votes: 517 21.4%

  • Total voters
    2,418
So real talk - do we think Ralph is too much of a narcissist to kill himself?

Ralph has a huge ego, but it's getting hard to deny that everything's falling apart. Everyone in his circle except Dick has openly turned on him. His audience is disappearing. He just got a real, grown up responsibility. He will never, ever be able to get a real job.

I think he's too full of himself to ever let the ahogs win and blow his brains out, but - especially if Dick disavows him - I can see him "accidentally" mixing too much pills and liquor.
I think he is capable of killing himself. He is emotional, short sighted, and impulsive addict with no family or friends left. Honestly, the reason why he is still alive is because he is a felon and is barred from owning firearms. I can see a high/drunk Ralph on an impulse end it with a quick pull of the trigger thinking its a 13 reasons why style own on his haters. But other methods take too much set up and any impulse would pass before he gets it set up.
 
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"I weren't crying like Jim said I done. But if you want to know the truth of it, I hope you die, Jim. I want to see the life leave your eyes and your fat wife weep as you descend to burn in hell, forever."

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Bonus: Not-Crying Ralph IRL crossover.

Ralph is so fucking salty lmao.
I am a sinner and I would like a clip of all the times Ralph says Jim is going to die or hopes he dies, with that weird high pitch catch in his voice like he wants to beat someone while sobbing uncontrollably.
 
I am a sinner and I would like a clip of all the times Ralph says Jim is going to die or hopes he dies, with that weird high pitch catch in his voice like he wants to beat someone while sobbing uncontrollably.
At the end put the clip of the Jarbo stream where he's all "DO YEW REALLY THINK I WANTCHA AND JADE TO REALLY DIE DAT'S INSANE"
 
He is fuken drunk tonight. I tune in randomly and he's hollerin' "Take me off the air, bitch." According to Jim, he's been doing this for the last hour.
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He is fuken drunk tonight. I tune in randomly and he's hollerin' "Take me off the air, bitch." According to Jim, he's been doing this for the last hour.
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Tonight? It’s not even 5 in the afternoon and he’s this fucking sloshed? God damn he really is just something else. I do still love his beady little cross eyes trapped in the rolling sea of pancake batter that is his face.
 
He is fuken drunk tonight. I tune in randomly and he's hollerin' "Take me off the air, bitch." According to Jim, he's been doing this for the last hour.
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The Kino Casino with real Jim on is probably too much pain for his pig heart to bear. Why face the consequences for your horrible decisions when you can just get blackout drunk and holler on livesteam till you pass out?

Edit: Walking can be a very tough, good low impact exercise if you set conditions right. Ralph is waddling around with 150-200lbs extra pounds so average, slow walking is about the extent of his physical prowess.
 
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Holy fuck he thinks walking 2 miles is some kind of feat to own his HAYDURS LMFAO
I don't know what's more pathetic, that he's boasting about potentially walking an insignificant distance out of spite, or the fact that I'd be money he's only walking the distance to the nearest coffee place to buy a woman's coffee that is more corn syrup than water.
 
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To be fair, if he walked that much every day and quit drugs/alcohol, 100 pounds would melt right off him. He'd still be chubby for his height though, in fact I can't even imagine a thin version of his face.
If he just simply stopped chugging liquor he'd probably drop a good 50 lbs or more in a few months no problem. But he's an addict and has no shame or reason to stop.

Doubling down is his only response and I sort of think he just wants to get his ass beat until someone puts him in a coma or kills him. He doesn't care about anything or anyone, not even himself. Zero self control. He's a joke and he knows it but his ego can't take it.
 
TBF I can imagine walking 2 miles is a herculean task for the rapepiggy what with his autist knock knees, 50lb gunt and estrogen oozing man titties flopping around. He literally looks like connor mcgregor strutting while walking because his bent noodle legs just can't carry his plus size feminine upper body and massive gunt.
 
To be fair, if he walked that much every day and quit drugs/alcohol, 100 pounds would melt right off him. He'd still be chubby for his height though, in fact I can't even imagine a thin version of his face.
If Ralph lost all that weight, the lose skin would make him look like a fuckin basset hound.
 

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Holy fuck he thinks walking 2 miles is some kind of feat to own his HAYDURS LMFAO
This is a common retarded lazy fat person thing. They legit think exercise is walking for like half an hour or slinging 15lb weights around for a few minutes and feel accomplished after they expend like 100 calories. He's probably so confident for this reason, he actually thinks what he's doing is enough, but he will always be a fat lazy retard and only get fatter.
and quit drugs/alcohol
That's the kicker
 
Ralph, if you're reading this, let me give you some advice (and I hope you believe me when I say that I'm telling you this for no other reason than to help you stay solvent): start selling self-deprecating merch. "I admit it I'm a rage pig" shirts would sell out in no time and while undignified, face it, such things stopped being a concern for you long ago.

Also you should oink for superchats.
 
Ralph, if you're reading this, let me give you some advice (and I hope you believe me when I say that I'm telling you this for no other reason than to help you stay solvent): start selling self-deprecating merch. "I admit it I'm a rage pig" shirts would sell out in no time and while undignified, face it, such things stopped being a concern for you long ago.

Also you should oink for superchats.
I'd pay to watch him attempt to do basic fitness stuff like attempt to touch his toes, pullups, pushups, barbell squats. The realization that it takes actual effort to build up those skills alone will be worth it.
 
TBF I can imagine walking 2 miles is a herculean task for the rapepiggy what with his autist knock knees, 50lb gunt and estrogen oozing man titties flopping around. He literally looks like connor mcgregor strutting while walking because his bent noodle legs just can't carry his plus size feminine upper body and massive gunt.
If he falls his massive weight will shatter his bones or tear his knees apart. Fat people normally have huge leg muscles to haul around that blubber but not Ralph.
 
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