Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Hepativore]

Most of these tender troons are my age or younger, so yeah, it's weird.

I'm a regular lady and I grew up with such a heavy "girls can do anything! no excuses! you're going to excel in math class and you're going to hold this flashlight while I yell about the car!" from school, ~Society~ and my family. It makes sense that there are families out there that are more traditional, but how did all these neo-troons grow up in the 1950s when they're only 20 or 30?

It seems like we just skipped over a healthy androgynous mindset. You don't have to be a strong woman who don't need no man, or a Real Man, or a Real Man+ with injections of exogenous testosterone; when the drain is clogged, someone has to snake it out. That's just reality, the place where we all have to live. It doesn't have to be a performance all the time.

I wish more mental health people, therapists or counselors would sit these troons down and explain to them that they should stop getting so hung up on gender stereotypes, and that trying to go down the route of medical treatments of trying to be the opposite sex will not make things any easier.

If the issue is one of hating their bodies/self-loathing, then I think it should go without saying that the job of a mental health professional should be to try and tackle the insecurities rather than giving into them.

Finally, both plastic surgeons as well as troon culture are guilty of perpetuating the idea that the post-medical outcomes for trans people will perfectly make them a member of the opposite sex. There is so much denial on their part of how disappointing/dangerous SRS is and how it comes with a whole list of permanent health problems. Even if the trans movement was not delusional and toxic, I do not know how the hell anybody can condone hormones and SRS when looking at what sort of quality of life a post-SRS person can expect.

The problem is that the trans movement gets so defensive when this is pointed out that anybody who questions the narrative in most media sources, social media websites, or popular culture gets immediately labeled "transphobic", shunned and/or canceled. I am not sure if this has been lessening somewhat, but you would never know it looking at how dissenting voices on trans issues get dogpiled.

 

[Sperghetti]

Apparently, she wants to have features from both sexes that are attractive, to be some sort of sexy androgynous... thing. I tried to gently explain to her that this would make her look like a freak that neither men nor women would find attractive, but she didn't listen.

Sorry to dig this up, but this reminds me of something interesting I’ve noticed with the “pride” boom in recent years where there's a lot of photography and imagery that's obviously trying to play up androgyny or gender-bending, but rather than focusing on more subtle and ambiguous type, they instead pair up intensely gendered, clashing attributes: Beards and seriously hairy arms paired with heavy lipstick and eye shadow and whatnot.

It's like the Tumblr "uglify everything" idea took hold there so rather than portray the pretty boys and tomboyish girls that people actually find attractive, they're trying to take jokey transvestite stereotypes and pretend they're sexy.

Most of these tender troons are my age or younger, so yeah, it's weird.

I'm a regular lady and I grew up with such a heavy "girls can do anything! no excuses! you're going to excel in math class and you're going to hold this flashlight while I yell about the car!" from school, ~Society~ and my family. It makes sense that there are families out there that are more traditional, but how did all these neo-troons grow up in the 1950s when they're only 20 or 30?

It seems like we just skipped over a healthy androgynous mindset. You don't have to be a strong woman who don't need no man, or a Real Man, or a Real Man+ with injections of exogenous testosterone; when the drain is clogged, someone has to snake it out. That's just reality, the place where we all have to live. It doesn't have to be a performance all the time.

Sadly, it's not just you wondering this and it's not just troons that inspire it. The GF and I wonder this about some of our coworkers on a daily basis. (Both of us had a very androgynous/unisex upbringing, too!)

For how many troons claim to have grown up with heavy gender stereotypes, it's clear that none of them have actually broken out of that mindset. As much as they preted to be progressive and revolutionary, all they've done is try to switch what stereotypes apply to them. They haven't gone the route of realizing that their lack of fitting into a particular box doesn't make them less of a man/woman.

 

[Rich Evans Ayypologist]

I wish more mental health people, therapists or counselors would sit these troons down and explain to them that they should stop getting so hung up on gender stereotypes, and that trying to go down the route of medical treatments of trying to be the opposite sex will not make things any easier.

In the world of Elden Ring, a popular new-ish video game, within about a week of release, there had been found several retard buttons that completely trivialized the entire game. Straight up made a joke of effectively everything. It is hard to get a proper measure of how many people used these things, but it really felt like an absurd number of people were using one of the two or three idiot buttons. They got weakened, then a new crop popped up, and again within days it felt like everyone was doing the same thing. Because they looked up the 'best build' on the internet, or they saw a video about it telling them to try it out. Sure, some people might discover the things through normal play, but it was pretty clear most people were just looking up the busted shit and thoughtlessly copying it.

That's an anecdote I bring up from the world of gaming to exemplify the way it feels like this bloc things about things: everything has a clear, concise, and bounded answer. How do I speedrun a game? How do I do this or do that? You look it up on the internet, and the internet tells you what to do. That's it; that's what you do.

Now, if you look to the internet for... say, masculine things or feminine things. What makes someone a man, what makes someone a woman? You get some answers that those of us who actually grew up understood to be... accurate, sure, but not the whole of expression for the genders. But for people used to just looking shit up and listening to whatever some schmuck on the internet says is true, whatever turns up from those searches as defining a 'man' is what it is to be a 'man.' If there was more to masculinity than lifting weights and fixing cars, if men could do more than get into fights and have poor hygiene, then it would surely have been mentioned somewhere.

To me it's no coincidence that a lot of these cases involve people being online too often - and often with games somehow involved in the individual's life. It gives people too much of a settled and rigid idea of what being a human is, as if there were some humanity-wiki you could just go to and look up every last different possible mode of expression and find a neat list of bullet-points about who you are and what you like. It's astrology on crack.

of course, for older people, I have no idea. you'd think you'd pick up on reality being deliciously rich and deep and multifaceted and want more of it, rather than to try to shove everything into specific, unflinching boxes and cutting off any genitals or breasts or ideas that don't fit neatly inside.

 

[behindyourightnow]

Most of these tender troons are my age or younger, so yeah, it's weird.

I'm a regular lady and I grew up with such a heavy "girls can do anything! no excuses! you're going to excel in math class and you're going to hold this flashlight while I yell about the car!" from school, ~Society~ and my family. It makes sense that there are families out there that are more traditional, but how did all these neo-troons grow up in the 1950s when they're only 20 or 30?

It seems like we just skipped over a healthy androgynous mindset. You don't have to be a strong woman who don't need no man, or a Real Man, or a Real Man+ with injections of exogenous testosterone; when the drain is clogged, someone has to snake it out. That's just reality, the place where we all have to live. It doesn't have to be a performance all the time.

A lot of the FTM troons seem to come from evangelical or evangelical-lite backgrounds. I think if you (general you) didn’t grow up in that milieu, or in the right areas, you forget how popular those ideas still are.

I’ve seen a lot posts in FTM subs about their mothers literally not letting them get their hair cut short or not wear dresses as young girls. I can understand them growing up thinking that that’s something that only boys are “allowed to do.” Of course none of them are self-reflective enough to make the connection.

I’ve bitched about this elsewhere but also remember that clothing and toys have gotten more gendered over the last few decades, not less (mostly due to the influx of cheap clothing and plastic toys from China that made it easy and profitable to sell parents multiple versions of everything and get new wardrobe sets for every child instead of hand-me-downs)

 

[Aunt Carol]

I’ve bitched about this elsewhere but also remember that clothing and toys have gotten more gendered over the last few decades, not less (mostly due to the influx of cheap clothing and plastic toys from China that made it easy and profitable to sell parents multiple versions of everything and get new wardrobe sets for every child instead of hand-me-downs)

This is a good point, too. Back in my day there were Strawberry Shortcake and Inhumanoids, sure, but Lego were Lego. Now they paint the "STEM toys" pink because we all know girls don't like to build things unless they have pastels and flowers.

When wokies complain about pink tax in the form of a markup on razors, sexism because of sexy Mario Halloween costumes, fragile masculinity because of soap in a black bottle, and then the gender crowd points at all of it as why they need to transition--

when did people forget that the Marketing department isn't their friend? There's a pink shampoo and a black shampoo, and an ad campaign for each, because it increases value for the shareholders. The more people get weird about having to perform gender with every action, the more companies can sell specifically-gendered items.

(I don't think this is any kind of overarching conspiracy, just a process that builds on itself as it generates more money.)

 

[Mrs. Addams]

A lot of the FTM troons seem to come from evangelical or evangelical-lite backgrounds. I think if you (general you) didn’t grow up in that milieu, or in the right areas, you forget how popular those ideas still are.

I've also noticed that a surprisingly large number of former fundie/Quiverfull kids are LGBT now. The pipeline I observed was lonely kid (often with hangups about their sexuality) > tumblr > fandoms and cons > LGBT/genderspecials.

Here's two examples of trans ex-quiverfull kids from that era talking about their feelings towards gender growing up:

https://cynthiajeub.com/2014/11/17/born-to-breed/

https://lucyaudrin.wordpress.com/2019/10/20/transgender-and-evangelical-a-short-memoir-part-1/

Spoiler: Archive

https://web.archive.org/web/20220418041640/https://cynthiajeub.com/2014/11/17/born-to-breed/

Spoiler: Archive

https://web.archive.org/web/20220418041759/https://lucyaudrin.wordpress.com/2019/10/20/transgender-and-evangelical-a-short-memoir-part-1/

 

[BoomerSperg1922]

A surprisingly large number of former fundie/Quiverfull kids are LGBT now. The pipeline I observed was lonely kid (often with hangups about their sexuality) > tumblr > fandoms and cons > genderspecials.

Here's two examples of trans ex-quiverfull kids from that era:

https://cynthiajeub.com/2014/11/17/born-to-breed/

https://lucyaudrin.wordpress.com/2019/10/20/transgender-and-evangelical-a-short-memoir-part-1/

That's an interesting connection, but I have to wonder how much of it is true.

If you're having a dozen kids, and one of them troons out - is it the fault of the religious ideology, or did you just give 1 out of the 12 sperg genes?

 

[DumbDude42]

If you're having a dozen kids, and one of them troons out - is it the fault of the religious ideology, or did you just give 1 out of the 12 sperg genes?

more likely that 1 out of the 12 got caught up in and corrupted by whatever predatory internet community he/she stumbled into while the other 11 didn't get exposed to that influence to the same degree for whatever reason

kids going on the internet is like a dice roll. they might just end up doing harmless shit like play counterstrike with russians who swear a lot, or they might end up in deviantart/tumblr/twitter circles and a year later they are 'questioning their gender identity' and it's all downhill from there.

 

[Wodanaz]

Oldest friend who I've known since elementary school. Drops out of middle school one day and then randomly decides a fee months later that he has something to tell me. but that I'm not to repeat it unless he speaks about it first. I say okay, and he tells me that he's been diagnosed with gender identity disorder. I vaguely recall giving him a bit of support, I didn't know what else to say. I know what to say now.
This was years and years ago. At least 5, closer to 10. And not once has he brought it up since. We sort of lost touch and he moved out of state but I still visit from time to time. As far as I can tell he's the same fat fuck as he's always been, but with longer hair. I did see a prescription bottle in his cabinet though. Spoke to a mutual about it while reconnecting, he told me that yeah it is a bit weird and they talk about it from time to time. I laid out most of my anti tranny propaganda to him and he seemed to agree, but there's not much to be done. One weird thing is that I know the fake tranny's youtube channel of old, and I check it sometimes. He's changed the name and is pretending to be a woman now, but without vocals in his videos. Really weird shit. The kind of shit you would do in 2008 if you were trying to scam some shit from someone, or if you were someone like foreverpandering or zone. Not identifying yourself as tranny, just pretending to be a girl. Very strange.
It's been a while since I saw him. I hope he shakes off the autism, because lord knows I don't have the stomach or the balls to try and shake it from him in person, and I don't know if I could stop myself if I saw him again.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

he's been diagnosed with gender identity disorder.

after talking with a therapist, he's now non-binary.

i am really growing to hate shrinks or at the very least heavily distrust that entire field.

 

[Wodanaz]

i am really growing to hate shrinks or at the very least heavily distrust that entire field.

To be fair I never got the details, but it wouldn't shock me.
reminder, treatments are more profitable than cures

 

[teriyakiburns]

That's an interesting connection, but I have to wonder how much of it is true.

If you're having a dozen kids, and one of them troons out - is it the fault of the religious ideology, or did you just give 1 out of the 12 sperg genes?

It's the inability of the parents to give enough attention to all their children.

 

[DumbDude42]

It's the inability of the parents to give enough attention to all their children.

yeah this seems to be common in the background of many kids who fell down the tranny hole. at some point the kids parents just ckecked out, stopped paying attention, let the kid sit alone with nothing to do for extended periods of time, let the kid wander off on its own into the depths of the internet, and from there it spirals out of control.

 

[b0x]

It's like the Tumblr "uglify everything" idea took hold there so rather than portray the pretty boys and tomboyish girls that people actually find attractive, they're trying to take jokey transvestite stereotypes and pretend they're sexy.

Reminds me of the Modern Art movement really. As if there is a conscious attempt to deconstruct value systems of appeal and beauty. Similar to the "Fat Positive movement"

Notice how the Fat Positive activists always seem to look like this:

Spoiler

But you never see them like this

Spoiler

 

[What about Bob]

A friend of my uncle's lives in the States. My uncle has known him since they were both in their 20s (in their 60s now.)

The friend is a kindly, intelligent man. We've known each other over 15 yrs. He's invited me to stay with him and his family if we ever holiday in the US. We connected and shared stuff as we had a lot in common.

Then his pre teen daughter was diagnosed autistic, and has come out as a man.

He's now full on with the trans cult. Even believing trans women should compete against women in sports.

We still chat regularly but I avoid conversations about the trans debate. My instinct is to ride this period out, then hopefully he'll see sense. Still shocks me how such learned people have been swept along by this bullshit. I don't think he'll troon out his daughter ... Here's hoping he won't.

 

[Black ContraPoints]

My retard brat sister.

Not actually retarded, she's just always been a selfish, narcissistic little cunt, is an adult but lives in arrested development and acts the same way she did when she was 13. Gross slob, furry, fatass, no job, can't drive, taken care of by enabling relative. Told everyone at a family holiday that she's a man and picked a stereotypical fakeboi name to get the attention solely on her and was screaming and crying that our 70 year old grandmother bluntly said 'No, I'm not going to do that.' Everyone starts taking sides and screaming and fighting. Ruined the holiday for everyone. I wasn't there because of work and find all this out later from my horrified relative.

I'm not very surprised. I just feel bad for our family members that are in shock and don't know how to deal with it. She's always been a horrible little bitch and I don't care what happens to her. Her enabler will help get her tits lopped off for sure.

 

[BroccoliBrain]

My other roon-friendly male friend, indoctrinated by his uni culture, keeps wanting me to spend time with his transwoman roommate because we have a game in common. He also sucks at being subtle and is desperate for me to stay a night or two in the city they live in at the other end of the country, thinking he'll get lucky. He honestly thinks it'll be a fun little sleepover that might get spicy. Ladies, fathers and brothers in this thread, you're getting the same vibes as me from this shit, right? I don't doubt his roommate is probably a stubbly ogre; to pretend it's a good night while a sexually-confused male stranger is in the other room dilating would require me supressing every safety instinct I have, and for what? I don't like that this friend of mine keeps raising the fact "she" is trans and uses that pronoun, he's probably compensating fucking hard to make his bro of a roommate feel uwu validated. Nigga what zillenial girl calls herself 'Cindy'?

I have heard from people that someone who becomes trans doesn't turn into a trans person, but that they were born as one, and the transitioning is simply them finally embracing their true self that society has suppressed and lied to them about.

So maybe he just thought that he was living a lie previously. Or something.

Some of them think that, some of them don't, the ones that do either fully convince themselves of it or are blatantly using it as a cover story. Either way, we should all be done with that nonsense and look at the objective fact when relying on them to explain is totally unreliable.

 

[glass_houses]

My other roon-friendly male friend, indoctrinated by his uni culture, keeps wanting me to spend time with his transwoman roommate because we have a game in common. He also sucks at being subtle and is desperate for me to stay a night or two in the city they live in at the other end of the country, thinking he'll get lucky. He honestly thinks it'll be a fun little sleepover that might get spicy. Ladies, fathers and brothers in this thread, you're getting the same vibes as me from this shit, right?

Yeah, nah, don't do that, he's definitely angling for a threesome. Stay on your side on the continent and be safe from the troon named 'Cindy' and its enabler.

 

[NimertiS]

None at the moment. In Greece you see this mental disorder mainly on TikTok videos. We have one gender neutral person who was being ridiculed by Blaire White tho

Oh, I forgot! I already told you that :powerlevel: I was talking to a Greek guy who was studying in the Netherlands and he was overly troon friendly and he dumped me because I couldn't accept them as true and honest women. I'm totally sure he's a future Mtf.

 

[kittyfucker]

An old friend of mine (MTF) has been trans for a while now and is the friend I have kept in touch with the longest. He's a cool guy - one of those crazy asperger STEM nerds that knows everything about anything in his niche - but good god, it is so fucking disorienting seeing him go between "let me tell you about these crazy chemicals I just synthesized in my basement" to mentioning his girldick (and yes... he refers to it as such)

He was (or, is?) this unbelievably talented, bright dude with obvious, mental health issues from his shitty upbringing, and this is just rubbing more dirt in the wound than fixing anything. I don't even know how he fell down this rabbit hole considering he was somewhat of a right/centrist before this all happened. All of a sudden he calls himself a faggot, likes men, even acts different. I feel like I'm on eggshells around him all the time and I don't want to be. I miss the person he used to be, and CAN BE, but chooses not to be