Ethan Ralph the Food Connoisseur (and fashion expert) - Discuss gunt's food choices and shitty merch -- Surprise! The fat pig consumes a lot of food.

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
3322 said:
Why do Americans like ice berg lettuce so much? There are a million different kinds of salad that actually have flavor and some nutritional value like lamb's lettuce, baby spinach or arugula. Especially if you are going to get it pre-cut and bagged the ice-berg is fucking awful and will take on whatever smells you have in your fridge. Buying pre-made dressing also eludes me. It takes 2 minutes to whip together a dressing and that way you can avoid having the 10 tablespoons of sugar that are in every serving of pre-made dressing.

This looks like a meal you'd get at a redneck backyard dinner, like something Tammy and Amy Slaton would have for their Easter dinner. There is not a single drop of Italian blood flowing through Meigh's veins. Even the people on the Jersey Shore cook and eat better than this.
Click to expand...
Pretty much because it has no flavor.

It just holds ranch dressing and chopped tendies and bacon.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Dolomite, Keranu, Fìddlesticks and 3 others
Fannyscum said:
Yes I've missed this too Meigh. Packet rice and a microwaved tortilla with American cheese. Maybe if Ralph gets a break from his job he can fuck up some salmon for you and reroll:
View attachment 3156010
Tweet | Archive
View attachment 3156014
Click to expand...
You’d think a weeb would have bothered to get a rice cooker at some point. It looks like it’s on the verge of turning into paste, or is one of those instant rice dishes in a plastic bag.

AltisticRight said:
And I heard Jews love greasy Chinese takeaway as celebratory meals.
She even sucks at being a cryptojew.
Click to expand...
I wonder if that’s ever caused any problems, considering the only people that like like pig fat more than the Chinese are Southerners and Eastern Europeans.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Nonconsentual Pronouns, snoot booper, Fìddlesticks and 1 other person
Christorian X said:
Its not as crazy as you might think. $5.00 for the latte, $3-$4 for the bacon, $12ish for bagel, lox and cream cheese plus sales tax.
Click to expand...
Really highlights how it's just way better to cook yourself. Between Ralph's $22 bacon and salmon sarnie with a latte, to that journalist woman who doxed the LibsOfTikTok account paying $22 for avocado toast, just don't go out in these modern metro cities to eat.

$22 for that is a meme where you could probably make everything except the latte yourself. IDK DC (or US) prices, but even if it ends up being $20ish dollars for salmon, bacon, cream cheese and bread, which I doubt, it should be way more in food quantity than that.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Feels
Reactions: Buck Breaker of BUcha, AmateurComedicTaxidermist, Lobster Cult High Priest and 1 other person
Slimy Time said:
Really highlights how it's just way better to cook yourself. Between Ralph's $22 bacon and salmon sarnie with a latte, to that journalist woman who doxed the LibsOfTikTok account paying $22 for avocado toast, just don't go out in these modern metro cities to eat.

$22 for that is a meme where you could probably make everything except the latte yourself. IDK DC (or US) prices, but even if it ends up being $20ish dollars for salmon, bacon, cream cheese and bread, which I doubt, it should be way more in food quantity than that.
Click to expand...
Depending on if you care about the kind of salmon you're buying, it's about 10-15$ a pound for fresh salmon, and you can get two pounds of flash frozen salmon for about 15$. Bacon is about 5$ a pound. It'll be around 30$ in total to buy all of it yourself but it'll be enough to make about 4-5 servings that'll be bigger then the garbage Ralph bought as restaurants will try to give you 1/4 of a normal serving and charge the fuck out of you for it.

Edit: and revisiting the picture, yeah Ralph got robbed but I don't know how expensive dc is but I'm assuming grocery prices are still fairly normal there compared to the restaurants which are trying to gouge politicians and tourists of their money.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: Lobster Cult High Priest, Cowboy Kim and Slimy Time
Retrodogkiller said:
Depending on if you care about the kind of salmon you're buying, it's about 10-15$ a pound for fresh salmon, and you can get two pounds of flash frozen salmon for about 15$. Bacon is about 5$ a pound. It'll be around 30$ in total to buy all of it yourself but it'll be enough to make about 4-5 servings that'll be bigger then the garbage Ralph bought as restaurants will try to give you 1/4 of a normal serving and charge the fuck out of you for it.

Edit: and revisiting the picture, yeah Ralph got robbed but I don't know how expensive dc is but I'm assuming grocery prices are still fairly normal there compared to the restaurants which are trying to gouge politicians and tourists of their money.
Click to expand...
Yeah, that was kinda what I was trying to pinpoint poorly. Even if cost is initially more, just by portion/serving you end up saving lots. It's a sarnie, not exactly expert cooking required, but it's gunt/lolcow as usual.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AmateurComedicTaxidermist, Lobster Cult High Priest and Fìddlesticks
Retrodogkiller said:
Depending on if you care about the kind of salmon you're buying, it's about 10-15$ a pound for fresh salmon, and you can get two pounds of flash frozen salmon for about 15$. Bacon is about 5$ a pound. It'll be around 30$ in total to buy all of it yourself but it'll be enough to make about 4-5 servings that'll be bigger then the garbage Ralph bought as restaurants will try to give you 1/4 of a normal serving and charge the fuck out of you for it.

Edit: and revisiting the picture, yeah Ralph got robbed but I don't know how expensive dc is but I'm assuming grocery prices are still fairly normal there compared to the restaurants which are trying to gouge politicians and tourists of their money.
Click to expand...
It would absolutely be way cheaper to do this as home. My assumption is May's culinary ineptitude and Ralphs laziness preclude the possibility.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lobster Cult High Priest
Lox and cream cheese is one of my things. I can usually get decent lox on sale for $1.50/oz. I use about 3oz per bagel. Good bagels are between $3.50-$4 for six. Cream cheese is negligible, maybe it's two bucks for 8oz, idk. Bacon can be as much as 8 bucks a pound, but I don't really need extra bacon on the side of my lox bagel...it's a little much. I won't begrudge anyone buying a latte for less than five bucks. But if I had as many lattes as Ethan makes Pantsu fetch for him, I would just acquire the means to start making them myself.

Imho, if you're gonna pay north of fifteen bucks for a meal, it should be something you can't reasonably make at home. Ralph got ripped off pretty good.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Nonconsentual Pronouns and snoot booper
I come to you in a time of great need. I had an idea for the plain beef picture he proudly posted preferably with the steak edited out but the not edited picture will also do and I can't find it probably because I'm dumb but if anybody could point me in the direction of said picture I would be grateful.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lobster Cult High Priest
Maude Snew said:
I come to you in a time of great need. I had an idea for the plain beef picture he proudly posted preferably with the steak edited out but the not edited picture will also do and I can't find it probably because I'm dumb but if anybody could point me in the direction of said picture I would be grateful.
Click to expand...
Not the plain plate version, but I found this one for you:
1650823613159.png

Edit: Found another plain beef picture:
1650824895439.png
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Horrifying
Reactions: Gaylord Brachiosaurus, Fìddlesticks, Keranu and 2 others
  • Feels
  • Like
Reactions: AmateurComedicTaxidermist, Lobster Cult High Priest, JhonVent and 4 others
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Winner
Reactions: Nonconsentual Pronouns, snoot booper, Wine em Dine em 69 em and 13 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back