Crossover 8/27/2022 Andy Warski vs. Salt Papi - Ethan Ralph bitched out of the fight blaming Jim and a-logs, "Salt Papi" enters the ring at the O2 Arena in London

[GaryGrey]

No matter how hard they hype the fight it will look like this in the end. Two sedentary fighters with zero experience punching something that punches back.

If this was a "real" beef, find someone willing to lend a back yard and fight. Streetbeefs has been doing fights almost weekly for 14 years without things like state sanctions. At least the winning prize of a designer purse will be fitting for the woman who wins.

 

[stupid frog]

tfw ralph shows up to fight andy and ppp and @Bryan Dunn are also in the ring

jk ralph wont show up

 

[JustStopDude]

I really don't get why random people think they can box. Warski is too out of shape to spar a couple of rounds, let alone Ralph.

One has to have so much cardio just to keep moving and keep your hands up. Ralph can't even do three flights of stairs without nearly passing out...how the fuck is he going to train?

He would need two years of dieting and exercising just to get him to the point where he could start training for a boxing match.

I think it would be good for Ralph if he went through with a pre-fight physical. I firmly believe they would discover he has early stages of congestive heart failure. I would be shocked if he was medically cleared for a sanctioned fight.

 

[BULLY HUNTER_77]

Andy, for the love of god do NOT fuck this up. Ralph will ride this shit to the bank and while he is able to deflect shit all day, this would be a W to blot out the sun and while he has to recognize the opposition typically, he could use this as a catch all "Don't gotta listen, Andy lost!"

You gotta remember Ralph's Law: Any W is immediately followed by an equal or greater L

Even if (big if) Ralph manages to finagle a win out of this situation, he's going to immediately travel to Vegas, bet all his winnings and life savings on the Roulette table, hire twenty mutt hookers, do more cocaine in one night than he's ever done in a week, and drive around the strip at 90 mph, flagging videos and reading Kiwi Farms. That will be his idea of a victory celebration - he hasn't had a substantive W in so long, he'll likely get himself killed as he celebrates.

 

[AltisticRight]

This dumb fat fuck actually expects a contract to be made within what realistically is 12 hours.
And we're supposed to believe he's not trying to bitch out. What financial penalties? You think a contract is scribblings on an A4 sheet?

This fat pussy really thought his scheme was smart, give an unrealistic timeframe to make a contract or else he gets paid. That's some 4D Ralphachess alright, took you 3 braincells, Ethan.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

At what point did Tonka start wanting to flake on the fight with Warski? How long did the happy fight promotion go before Tonka started sounding iffy about it? IIRC it wasn't until Late-December when it was found out that Tonka hadn't sent a blood sample in (didn't he send someone else's?), then the whole "I changed my name" thing came up.

 

[Sam Losco]

You think a contract is scribblings on an A4 sheet?

GTFO of here with your mathematically perfect paper sizes. The contract will be on LETTER (8 1/2" x 11") or maybe even LEGAL (8 1/2" x 14").

Or maybe just digital with e-signatures.

 

[Desktop User2]

Between not even a single printer working in all Canada - I member, Warski - and fitness checks, how many ways are there for this thing NEVER happening? Knox was the gayest game of chicken to ever happen on the Internet but the poz load we are about to guzzle was never witnessed before.

 

[HotdogWater]

You gotta remember Ralph's Law: Any W is immediately followed by an equal or greater L

Even if (big if) Ralph manages to finagle a win out of this situation, he's going to immediately travel to Vegas, bet all his winnings and life savings on the Roulette table, hire twenty mutt hookers, do more cocaine in one night than he's ever done in a week, and drive around the strip at 90 mph, flagging videos and reading Kiwi Farms. That will be his idea of a victory celebration - he hasn't had a substantive W in so long, he'll likely get himself killed as he celebrates.

Any perceived "W" by Ralph is also immediately followed by him spawning another guntling. On the off chance he scores a critical hit on Warski and wins in the ring, there is going to be a whole litter of guntlings spawned in the following year. A corn harvest to feed generations.

 

[AltisticRight]

GTFO of here with your mathematically perfect paper sizes. The contract will be on LETTER (8 1/2" x 11") or maybe even LEGAL (8 1/2" x 14").

Or maybe just digital with e-signatures.

Maybe it can feature a fingerprint too.
Here's Ralph's.

 

[TyrasGuard]

I wish they left Ralph alone already so he can have the freedom and tranquility to ruin his life on his own. As it has been proven time and time again, Ralph's worst enemy is himself.

Guess the IBS zombies are really desperate for those shekels.

 

[Bryan Dunn]

This dumb fat fuck actually expects a contract to be made within what realistically is 12 hours.

Nah hes just scared to death and his self-preservation skills are in overdrive. Hes throwing anything and everything at the wall in hopes it sticks so he can survive this check his mouth can’t cash.

 

[AntiSchwuletteAktion]

I really don't get why random people think they can box. Warski is too out of shape to spar a couple of rounds, let alone Ralph.

One has to have so much cardio just to keep moving and keep your hands up. Ralph can't even do three flights of stairs without nearly passing out...how the fuck is he going to train?

He would need two years of dieting and exercising just to get him to the point where he could start training for a boxing match.

I think it would be good for Ralph if he went through with a pre-fight physical. I firmly believe they would discover he has early stages of congestive heart failure. I would be shocked if he was medically cleared for a sanctioned fight.

Stop being a buzzkill, let Ralph go into cardiac arrest in the ring if that's what happens. And you don't need years of training for an amateur fight. If Warski was joining UFC, he'd need 2 years to get ready. For a fight with an obese streamer? You really don't need much preparation.

 

[Bummer]

I know this shit is never making it past the Twitter sperging phase, but let's just pretend for a moment that contracts actually get signed. Warski will definitely show, he's already proven that. Ralph is the big question and it's really a question of wigger ego vs self preservation. Null has said that Ralph is terrified of having a "boulder moment" and I tend to agree with him. I also think he is terrified of a "Donga moment". Getting your ass kicked and your orbital rebroke is less shameful than being Donga. There are a million reasons this thing isn't going happen but there is also a point of no return for Ralph's ego and I'm assuming that point is signing the contract and putting money down. We all need to pray that Andy and everyone else can bully him to that point.

Tldr; This thing is never happening but if by some miracle Warski can bully Ralph into actually signing a contract I think he might show up.

 

[messiah complex]

ralph is going to smash him to pieces with his gunt

 

[Bloatlord]

Guys, I come from the future with footage of how this fight ends.

Lord Choppa at 290lbs, that's almost as big of a stretch as Ralph claiming he's only 250.
STREETBEEFS is definitely one of my favourite channels on youtube, always following their content. Some truly insane fights like this one

to go along with the more amateurish ones. Definitely would be the perfect place for a guntoff and to get as many people to watch them humiliate themselves as possible.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

At what point did Tonka start wanting to flake on the fight with Warski? How long did the happy fight promotion go before Tonka started sounding iffy about it? IIRC it wasn't until Late-December when it was found out that Tonka hadn't sent a blood sample in (didn't he send someone else's?), then the whole "I changed my name" thing came up.

Reiketa said that Tonka went to Knoxville as he saw him at the hotel, but he flaked the day of the fight.

 

[Cup Noodle]

I really don't get why random people think they can box. Warski is too out of shape to spar a couple of rounds, let alone Ralph.

One has to have so much cardio just to keep moving and keep your hands up. Ralph can't even do three flights of stairs without nearly passing out...how the fuck is he going to train?

He would need two years of dieting and exercising just to get him to the point where he could start training for a boxing match.

I think it would be good for Ralph if he went through with a pre-fight physical. I firmly believe they would discover he has early stages of congestive heart failure. I would be shocked if he was medically cleared for a sanctioned fight.

Warski did the work and trained for the Tonka Fight. He might be out of shape now but it's easy to get back into it if you have ever trained before. Ralph is just fucked. The only shape he has ever been in is round.

GTFO of here with your mathematically perfect paper sizes. The contract will be on LETTER (8 1/2" x 11") or maybe even LEGAL (8 1/2" x 14").

Or maybe just digital with e-signatures.

8.5x11 is A4.

I wish they left Ralph alone already so he can have the freedom and tranquility to ruin his life on his own. As it has been proven time and time again, Ralph's worst enemy is himself.

Guess the IBS zombies are really desperate for those shekels.

If he were left alone he wouldn't have anybody to holler at and would get boring quickly. Watching a poor middle aged man drink himself to death is pretty boring without the drama.

 

[AltisticRight]

Ralph and Warski should do a truffle hunting contest, Ralph will win with flying colours.

 

[LadiosSopp]

8.5x11 is A4.

Little puzzle piece-y on my end, but 8.5x11 is Letter size paper. A4 is around 8.3x11.7. They're close but A4 is a little thinner and longer.