Do we have a solid estimate on Ralph's drinking?
I could do that maybe once and probably wouldn't drink for a week
Having been in the Bar and Hospitality industry for two decades I think I can answer this reasonably well. To start with, lets take a look at this Blood Alcohol Content chart:
A few things to toss out before we dive into this:
1) According to this chart, 1 drink in spirits is equivalent to 1.5 ounces of 80 proof / 40% liqour.
2) A standard "5th" of bourbon is 750 ml which is just over 25 oz. This would mean a standard bottle has about 17 drinks.
3) Normal restaurants buy bottles that are slightly larger which are also sold in many liquor stores. They are 1L which works out to about 34 oz and 23 drinks.
4) There are 70 calories in 1 oz of Makers Mark. That would mean there are 105 calories in 1 drink of Makers Mark.
5) Ralph likes guzzling Coke like a good pigboy. There are 240 calories per 20 oz of Coke. Also a ridiculous amount of carbs. Soda will fucking kill you kids. Just as JF.
6) There are between 3,400 and 3,700 calories in 1lb of fat. In theory, if you took in zero calories, you would need to burn around 3,500 cals to get rid of 1lb of fat. Also it takes about 3,500 cals on top of what your body uses to create 1 lb of fat.
With all those wonderful numbers out of the way, we can do some analysis. As someone who has had a great deal of hands on experience with booze, I can add some color to the chart you see above.:
Orange: Relatively sober Ralph. - Capable of human interaction, able to reasonably function IRL when he must.
Light Blue: Happy / Fun Ralph - This Ralph is having a great time. He is feeling the W, Christ is Kang, he's a Ralphamale.
Dark Blue: Fixin to Hollar Ralph - This is when Ralph is getting frustrated and is building up a head of steam. He ain't Hollarin yet, but he's well on his way.
Beyond Dark Blue: Hollarin Ralph - Ralph has marinated himself in booze enough to think he can take on the haters. Without or when the cocaine wears off, if he stays in this zone long enough he becomes Sleepy / Mumble Ralph.
The final two pieces of this puzzle are to factor in Ralph's tolerance and cocaine use. We know Ralph has been a hard drinker for a minimum of a decade, most likely much longer. What does that mean exactly? For the sake of this post I'll simplify it to Ralph needing an extra 2 drinks to reach any square on the chart. essentially it takes a higher concentration of booze for Ralph's brain to feel the effects.
For those of you fortunate enough not to have had to deal with chronic coke users who mix it with booze, i'll give you a basic idea. It essentially makes the user feel much more clear headed, wide awake, energetic and euphoric. Everything is awesome, you're smartest / strongest / best person and you are ready to show everyone how awesome you are. The problem is that is doesn't actually negate all the booze in your system. So what you now think is your mind being that of a clear thinking genius, in reality you're just way more alert and intense but thinking like a blacked out jackass. Alcohol puts extremely bad ideas in your brain, coke tells you that you'll be a legend if you do them because they are brilliant ideas, lol.
For our purposes we can say that coke keeps you at the same physical tolerance for booze but unwinds the mental effects of heavy alcohol temporarily> For you nerds out there, Think of it as a temporary buff. Rage, - 2 drinks, + 2 Confusion.
With all that in mind, assuming Ralph does an 8 - 12 hours of streaming a day and tends to be in the Light Blue zone by hour 2/3 and continues to Hollarin regularly. I would say that without coke, Ralph would need 8 drinks to get to a comfy light blue stage and another 10 just to maintain over 8 - 10 hours. To get to Hollarin it would take a strong drink over an hour of maybe 3 - 5 drinks more.
That would put us conservatively at about 24 drinks over a full day of streaming for Ralph to hit Hollarin once or twice for an hour or so each time. That would be just over one full 1L bottle (23.5ish drinks). This would mean approx 2,500 calories in bourbon a day alone.
If we see Ralph go off camera a few times over the day, we can assume he's giving himself a little boost. To counter that I'll add another 6 drinks over the course of the day, putting it at 30 drinks and 3,150 calories.
Finally factoring in the cola at 3 bottles over the course of the day at 720 cals we get our cals and drinks per day:
Without Snout Powder: 1.1 1L bottles - 3,250 cals
With Snout Powder: 1.4 1L bottles - 3,900 cals
With a sedentary lifestyle the US Department of Agriculture states a sedate Adult Male burns about 2000 cals a day.
Before eating any food, Ralph is literally drinking 1.5 times the needed amount of calories each day. Add on food, latte's and shit, he's consuming a lot of calories.
Finally, a standard 1L bottle of Makers with tax costs approx $40 in Richmond. Along with soda, Ralph is spending around $250 a week at least on booze and carbonated corn syrup. Ralph could be spending up to $1,000 on corn products alone each month.
