Share Your School Stories - Weirdos, freaks, and idiots (self-inclusion optional)

[Spunt]

There was this kid called Richard who, whilst not technically a dwarf, was extremely short (like 5ft 0 at 15). His parents had put him on Human Growth Hormone and steroids to try to make him grow a bit more, but all it did was make him absurdly muscular and really, really angry all the time. His messed up hormones give him this ridiculous squeaky voice and huge ears, and he got nicknamed "Willow" after the Warwick Davis film, which enraged him. Actually, pretty much everything enraged him, and would send this 5 foot Adonis into a squeaking, flailing rage, ears flapping and arms windmilling as he tried to seek vengeance on whoever had angered him this time. Despite his ripped physique, he was terrible at fighting, mostly because he was too angry to fight properly, and could be held at arms length while his stubby but musclebound arms whirled ineffectively at his target, like something out of a cartoon.

Everyone hated him, and one day the school minibus ran over his foot, breaking several bones and sending him to the hospital. Someone recorded his screams on their phone and set it as the startup sound on all the school computers (this was in the late 90s when that sort of thing was really quite complicated to do) and most of the teachers were too boomer to figure out how to fix it.

Speaking of kids going to the hospital, in chemistry class we were required to heat up some iodine in a test tube over a bunsen burner for reasons I don't recall. Some kid got distracted and was chatting to a mate while holding the tube over the flame, allowing the iodine to boil and blast out of the end of the tube like a shotgun, hitting another kid right in the eye, nearly costing him his sight.

There was also the time someone put potassium into the drinking fountain. The fireworks were really pretty.

 

[Tinfoil]

Oh I forgot to mention another story I remember. We were in music class in junior year, and near the end of the music class, the teacher discovered something was missing from the classroom, I can't remember if it was an instrument or tuning fork, or what. But he demanded that everyone give their backpacks to him for inspection to figure out who the the culprit was. He's going through the bags one by one so far and finds nothing suspicious.

He finally gets to one small mousy girl, who looks more like an 8-10 year old than the 12-13 year olds we were. Suddenly it looks like he's found something, because his expression changes. Instead of pulling out the object he was looking for, he just keeps pulling out reams and reams of condoms. She suddenly pleaded with him not to confiscate them and he quietly said "young girls shouldn't have this in their bags" and put them back.

At the time, it wasn't even funny, more like surreal. It was so shocking everyone stayed completely silent for the rest of the lesson. It turns out no one in our class took the object that the music teacher was looking for though.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

I saw a kid come to school in a full suit. Don't think it was even picture day. This was around 4th grade. Think he even had a suitcase.

I'm not sure if I talked about him before, but I had a classmate from grades 4-8 whose parents gave him a large leather satchel and he was required to bring home all his textbooks every night even if he didn't have homework in one or more classes. I think he wore a suit for grade 6 or grade 8 pictures and starting acting like he was more suave than he really was. In an ironic twist, he was never known for participating in playground games or our weekly PE classes, but he supposedly became obsessed with physical fitness and healthy living after graduating from high school.

(He has since grown up to be a very responsible and great friend, sometimes the weird kids come out on top later in life!)

At the high school reunions I've attended, whether it's a single class or an "all years" reunion, it always seems like the weird kids, troublemakers, and classmates who goofed off ended up being successful after graduation.

I don't even remember which solution made the one go limp or what the point of the experiment even was.

I suspect it was intended to show the effect sugar has on plant life but the lesson was obviously overshadowed by the size and appearance of the carrots.

My first two semesters of college, I had the geekiest math professor imaginable. Huge glasses, nasally voice, lanky with a slight hunch, a goofy overbite, breathed through her mouth, she even had freckles and red hair.

At my college, a class that met before mine had a male professor whose hair was constantly unkempt and he had a sinister high pitched voice that occasionally sounded squeaky. TL; DR - He looked like the kind of guy who would follow you after night classes by lurking in the shadows. A classmate and I used to call him a weirdo and when we'd exchange e-mails about class assignments, we'd always end the message with a joke about him.

Another year goes by and nothing happens with autist, he's been his usual self. We are in the IT classes during lunchbreak to surf the web, when we all get a message through the inter school network, that hackers have taken over the computers.

My junior year in high school, I took what proved to be a fun writing class and we had access to the fancy laser printer used one classroom over by the journalism and creative arts magazine classes.

I can't recall what it was called, but the Macintosh computers we had at the time had some sort of computer to computer messaging protocol which allowed someone in our classroom to send a message to the other classroom letting them know someone printed something on their printer and they'd be coming over to get the printout. It didn't take long for a few of us to start sending random silly messages to whomever answered on the other end. The journalism student who was initially pissed at my involvement eventually became my friend until she graduated.

On a similar note, a guy in my college chemistry class somehow thought it was a good idea to change the name on his account to that of our professor and he would then sent random messages to other students in the class saying silly stuff like they failed the last exam to see if they'd believe it came from the professor himself. How my classmate never managed to get in trouble for this amazes me in retrospect, but I guess most people figured it was a stupid prank better left ignored.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

send this 5 foot Adonis into a squeaking, flailing rage, ears flapping and arms windmilling as he tried to seek vengeance on whoever had angered him this time. Despite his ripped physique, he was terrible at fighting, mostly because he was too angry to fight properly, and could be held at arms length while his stubby but musclebound arms whirled ineffectively at his target, like something out of a cartoon

I am literally on the floor from reading this. There are tears streaming from my eyes and all.

 

[otis]

For whatever reason back in high school I was a magnet for the weird guys. They stuck to me like glue and no matter how hard I tried to shake them off, they just would not leave me alone.

One time during the beginning of my freshman year of high school a black junior guy on the school’s basketball team asks me out. Im a young freshman girl and I spent my entire junior high career being a terminally online tumblr idiot so this was the most flattering thing to ever happen in my life at the time. Wow! An older guy likes wittle ole me? AND he’s on the basketball team? How could I refuse? I should mention he was shorter than me which makes the story funny thinking back on it. I think he was overcompensating for something

First week of us dating he has his uncle corner me at the coffee shop I wait for my parents at to pick me up. How the dude knew my after school schedule despite us barely knowing each other weirds me out to this day. Uncle talks about what a lovely girl I am and asks about how many kids we are going to have, you know the usual questions you definitely wouldn’t ask a 14 year old. Weird experience but I ignore it.

Later that same week the guy brings me to the student center to hang out with him and his friends. The student center was just where all the nerds would hang out and play smash bros until the school kicked us out. So we’re all playing smash together and some girl did the random option for her character. She gets Sonic and she’s talking about how she doesn’t really like the sonic series. She’s not mean about it, she just doesn’t like it and making conversation. And I honestly don’t know what the hell is up with sonic and attracting the most intense fuckers on the planet but the guy Im dating just starts going apeshit on her. He’s calling her all sorts of names, berating her, talking about how ugly she is and how she doesn’t understand just how good sonic is because she’s a retard. The dude straight up looks like he’s ready to beat the shit out of her just for not liking sonic of all things. The girl is on the verge of tears and runs out of the room and this 17 year old 5’2 dude is just playing the game like he didn’t just verbally tear her a new one over a little blue hedgehog. And no one in the room is batting an eye so this must just be a normal occurrence for him.

I break up with this dude at the coffee shop his uncle cornered me at the next day cause that was just the most awkward shit I had ever witnessed. He starts bawling his eyes out and begging me not to, how I’m his first ever girlfriend yada yada. I say no and naturally this does not dissuade him for a couple weeks until I tell him I don’t care about sonic that much just to test and see if that would make him go away. It made him hate me instead and for the next school year he would attempt to berate me over sonic just like he did that girl earlier in the story.

What a guy, really hope he found the Amy to his Sonic.

 

[Tinfoil]

I went to middle school with this kid who claimed that he had N64 games that weren't even out yet since his "uncle worked at Nintendo" or some bullshit like that, and he already had the third Mario Party game when the first one had just came out. I told him to prove it by bringing the games to school which of course he never did.

There were so many kids like that in middle school. Ones that said their uncle/parents worked at Nintendo and had some code that allowed you to play Sonic in Nintendo games. Or one time a guy said there was a secret character in Mortal Kombat you could only get by using the code he knew, but never told anyone. Among other things I heard. People are assholes, they just hide it better as adults.

 

[Dumb Bitch Smoothie]

I had the surreal experience of going to an inner city middle school where the biggest clique in the entire school was the weebs. You weren't cool unless you liked anime and the people who were indifferent were purposefully excluded. There was a black market for manga, specifically hentai and doujins.

The faculty weren't impressed. At all. But it wasn't like they could stop it because they moved off property to conduct business. There was a little Thai owned café just beyond the east gate into the school and that tiny little place would be packed as soon as school ended because that's where they set up shop. They'd at least buy food so it wasn't like they just took over.

It was such a surreal experience that sometimes I feel like it was a fever dream.
That, and during lunch some kids would be called to the office and never seen again. Apparently they got deported or put into foster care or some of them were arrested for gang related activity. Shit was insane. And I was like....twelve? Thirteen at most?
This was pre-Facebook era too so the internet was still a relatively chill place to be.

What sucks is looking back on it, there was only one teacher in this entire school of 3000+ kids that actually was happy to let the kids sperg out about their weeb shit. Everyone else belittled them. A lot of these kids could have been saved from their shitty lives if someone actually gave a shit about them and their interests even if we consider it cringe and weird.

Most of those kids ended up exactly where you'd expect for an inner city school. But the way they'd talk about their interests and get excited if you just listened is so hard to think about now.

It keeps me up at night sometimes because I'm a bit of a bleeding heart. Lame, I know. But the school system failed almost all of them. The apathy towards kids that I saw was rough. I only spent a year at that school but it definitely left an impact on me.

 

[Usb2200a]

There was this one autistic kid a grade below me who brought legos to every class he was in. The teachers kind of tolerated him cause his grades were passable, but one day he dropped whatever the fuck he was making which disrupted a whole geography class. The teacher got mad and said "You need to stop playing with toys in my class" and the kid said "I decline your request". Don't know what happened to that guy.

Sounds like you went to school with Bartelby.
“I would prefer not to.”

 

[retard strength]

Not to derail but I wonder what kids currently have as the modern equivalent of "my uncle works at Nintendo and..." compulsive lies that somehow spreads across the nation all at once like a virus.

That was going to be my story but we all apparently had that one stupid liar classmate who desperately wanted to impress people and it's fascinating how they all just grabbed the same set of lies. I spent forever in Pokemon Yellow trying to spawn like a hundred rare candies or bonus Mew or whatever based on his lies. Never again.

 

[Professor G. Raff]

I've got a somewhat embarrassing one... but hey, it wasn't really my fault. I was in middle school and in a history class when nature started to call... urgently. I rose my hand to ask to go to the bathroom but for some reason the bitch teacher wanted me to wait. So, I did... as the issue only grew in peril. Finally at a time I remember being completely arbitrary she allowed me to go. I ran down the hall as fast as I could while trying to keep it in. The bathroom was in sight and with cruel fate a few steps from the door I lost the race. I rushed into a stall as rushing concurrently occurred in my pants. Luckily I was close enough where my pants were salvageable, but there was no help for the underwear. So I cleaned the pants with paper towels, but what was I going to do with the soiled underwear? Well, I wasn't going to carry it around all day so I did the only thing I could and threw it in the trash. I hope no one looked too closely into it until it was disposed of because then they'd have some questions.

That is the story of the last (and hopefully final) time I shit myself.

As a small bonus middle school story, I had a class where this guy had a ring and made up this story about it being some special thieves' ring and every owner had to steal it from the last! It was so bullshit I wanted to steal it just to laugh at him. He eventually took it off to bait me, but I ignored him and waited for him to get distracted and forget which did eventually happen and I pocketed it. He didn't remember for the rest of class and as we were leaving I caught up to him and showed him the ring smirking as I gave it back. He huffed and grabbed it then hurried away. Not too big a thing overall, but I like messing with people who come up with stupid BS like that.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Lots of stories, and I was a retard as often as others were. I was also an asshole in this one:

There was this girl I liked who was in my 5th grade class, I assumed she didn't like me and I was too shy to even consider telling her that I did, but one day she was getting bullied because it got out that she liked me.

Take one guess what I did. Yeah...

Even after that (what a nice girl, man), on Valentine's Day we were all trading generic cheap cards and candy, but she made a more elaborate homemade one specially for me, with a note saying she liked me. Naturally everyone noticed and resumed picking on her.

I once again joined in mocking her like a fucking retard asshole. Keep in mind, I liked her too.

After that she kind of became a huge bitch, but I couldn't really blame her. We never got along after that even though we ran into each other throughout our teen years, always mean to each other.

I actually have a long line of very similar stories, but here's one where I'm not the retard:

There was this guy in high school, we were playing some video game on our lunch break (forgot what) and this guy starts talking shit, not in the game like trash talk, just trying to pick a fight. I just hauled off and cracked him across his dumb bitch face and told him to watch his mouth. He looked like he was gonna cry.

Naturally my teacher sees this and I get in trouble, but he listened and never talked shit like that again, so it was a win in my book. I was probably the first person to teach him that lesson, maybe it stuck with him.

 

[Tinfoil]

I actually have a long line of very similar stories, but here's one where I'm not the retard:

I was labelled the troublemaker. So when something happened to me. I would retaliate. But somehow the teachers only saw me. For example a girl in 3rd grade threw my textbook out the window. In retaliation I threw her pencilcase out the window. The teacher only saw me however. So not only was I supposed to return her property, I was supposed to head up to the Principals office for a paddling. At the time I realized the paddling wasn't even warranted, so I hid in some bushes near the Principals office and returned saying how I was punished. Fuck that bitch.

 

[MysticMisty]

I spent forever in Pokemon Yellow trying to spawn like a hundred rare candies or bonus Mew or whatever based on his lies. Never again.

Funny enough, there are ways to do both those (in Red and Blue at least). Just not the usual made up bullshit stories kids told each other. Except for the "infinite" item glitch, everyone knew that one.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

Not to derail but I wonder what kids currently have as the modern equivalent of "my uncle works at Nintendo and..." compulsive lies that somehow spreads across the nation all at once like a virus.

Years ago, when a buddy's nephew was in elementary school, the nephew's classmate bragged about his dad supposedly being in the CIA. The nephew, in his effort to one-up his friend, proudly replied, "My dad is a CPA."

Like @retard strength , I'm curious what today's kids humblebrag about not that so much stuff can be easily verified online or immediately debunked as made-up crap.

I've got a somewhat embarrassing one... but hey, it wasn't really my fault. I was in middle school and in a history class when nature started to call... urgently. I rose my hand to ask to go to the bathroom but for some reason the bitch teacher wanted me to wait.

During Algebra class in my first year of high school, a classmate needed to use the bathroom very bad. For whatever reason, none apparent to me either then or now, the teacher told her no. she had to go bad enough she left anyways and took care of business. Upon her return to class, the teacher gave her a detention.

As much as I understood that the teacher was old school and had a reputation for being strict, I also considered this a dick move on his part, especially since the classmate in question wasn't a troublemaker who misused hall or bathroom privileges.

 

[NerdShamer]

I'm curious what today's kids humblebrag about not that so much stuff can be easily verified online or immediately debunked as made-up crap.

Something about being LGBT, with the way the world's turning.

 

[MysticMisty]

During Algebra class in my first year of high school, a classmate needed to use the bathroom very bad. For whatever reason, none apparent to me either then or now, the teacher told her no. she had to go bad enough she left anyways and took care of business. Upon her return to class, the teacher gave her a detention.

As much as I understood that the teacher was old school and had a reputation for being strict, I also considered this a dick move on his part, especially since the classmate in question wasn't a troublemaker who misused hall or bathroom privileges.

Every now and then during my school years my mom would remind me that under no circumstances did I have to listen to the teacher if I had to ever urgently go and was denied permission to go to the restroom. And furthermore that on the off chance that I ever found myself in that scenario and given detention as a result to tell her, and that she'd make a point to call the school and if nothing else, give them a piece of her mind.

Luckily that never happened to me. Lucky for the school, too, because I have no doubt that my mom would've taken it all the way to the top of the district to let them know that some asshole teacher punished me for not pissing/shitting myself in class.

 

[Jason Wynn]

Went to high school with a deathfat girl that really didn’t help her situation by acting like a cartoon stereotype of the dumb fat kid.

She’d get on the bus with a full box of cereal and it would be half gone by the time the bus arrived at the school. She’d then go to the cafeteria, eat the free breakfast and load up her backpack with granola bars and muffins.

One teacher we shared a class with decided to have a “fuck it I’m hungover” kind of day and brought in a couple pizzas for the class to eat while we studied. Most of us only took one or two slices, fatty took six at once and was going to go back for more before getting called out.

Another teacher we all liked was retiring and she brought a cake to share. We all got a single slice, fatty mowed through hers in seconds and actually went around to various students asking if they were going to finish their piece.

 

[Broseph]

Went to high school with a deathfat girl that really didn’t help her situation by acting like a cartoon stereotype of the dumb fat kid.

She’d get on the bus with a full box of cereal and it would be half gone by the time the bus arrived at the school. She’d then go to the cafeteria, eat the free breakfast and load up her backpack with granola bars and muffins.

One teacher we shared a class with decided to have a “fuck it I’m hungover” kind of day and brought in a couple pizzas for the class to eat while we studied. Most of us only took one or two slices, fatty took six at once and was going to go back for more before getting called out.

Another teacher we all liked was retiring and she brought a cake to share. We all got a single slice, fatty mowed through hers in seconds and actually went around to various students asking if they were going to finish their piece.

Was her name Tess Holiday by chance?

 

[Mojo Thief]

Without PL'ing too much, I went to a high school that served the intersection of a working-class suburb and the outlying rural areas, so the student body was about 50% trailer trash rednecks, 20% ghetto ratchet fucks, and 30% normal kids. This odd mix led to a lot of conflicts of moronic personalities, much of it drug-related. There are a lot of stories, most of which thankfully don't involve me, so I'll just share a couple of stories:

• We were in the middle of a break for an AP exam and this one redneck stoner kid who sat at the back of the class suddenly pulled his shirt up to his face. I heard the sound of a lighter and smelled the unmistakable skunky reek of weed, and looked behind me to see his kid suddenly turn into a BBQ smoker, with pot clouds puffing out of his sleeves and the neckhole on the top of his greasy hair. He pulls his shirt down just enough to show his bloodshot eyes, and he starts quietly stammering, "dude I fucked up, I'm gonna get caught, I'm gonna get caught so bad." Needless to say, he got caught and sent to detention. Dunno if he got arrested, but he almost definitely got his weed confiscated.
• These two teachers started an affair with one another. This went on for the better part of a school year, ultimately ending up with the two separating from their spouses. Now, here's where the problem started: the guy divorced his wife, but the lady reconciled with her husband. When he found out, he stormed her classroom (she taught special-ed, go figure) and started flinging desks around while screaming ravenously in a heartbroken fury, the downy kids hooting and wailing in terror as they congregated towards the classroom door. This is a third-hand account since I heard the story from another teacher, but he apparently stopped and walked out, and was arrested later in the parking lot. I didn't have either of them as teachers, but a friend of mine had him and he told me he got fired and replaced by a sub for the rest of the year.
• Chewing gum was banned and would be confiscated on sight, and so it became a highly demanded commodity and followed a price bracket: nicotine gum was worth $100, Five gum was worth like $20, and everything else was somewhere in between $20 and nothing. At least one slutty but smart girl would trade blowjobs for Five gum.
• The school shared the same food service contractor as the county jail, and when I found out I would constantly joke/rant about being fed prison food in this prison-like environment. A dude I was kinda-acquaintances with served a month in the county jail and later told me that yes, the food is exactly the same, except now you have to eat it three times a day. Reason enough to avoid jail.
• One kid got expelled because he threatened to stab another kid to death. The day he planned to do it, he got arrested and the police found a plastic butter knife on him. Last I heard he died in a single-occupant vehicle crash a few years after graduation.
• This one really weird kid that thought I was his friend showed me a handgun (presumably stolen from his parents) he kept in his locker. Obviously I thought this was incredibly sketchy, but since I was afraid of getting punished by the school or getting shot by this kid, I never reported him. He transferred out the following year anyway, so moot point.

If I remember anything else I'll add them here.

 

[Broseph]

This one really weird kid that thought I was his friend showed me a handgun (presumably stolen from his parents) he kept in his locker. Obviously I thought this was incredibly sketchy, but since I was afraid of getting punished by the school or getting shot by this kid, I never reported him. He transferred out the following year anyway, so moot point.
If I remember anything else I'll add them here.

Why would you get in trouble with the school?